What I have below is actually excerpts of an email to my brother who was bothered about me and my relationship. I have gained a lot from nairaland and so I thought may be I should have my turn to rant about my botched relatuionship. thanks for volunteering to be a listening ear. Comments are free people

My issues with this girl are characteristically multifaceted and driven by very deep concerns.  It starts with the general problem we guys in naija face with the girls (and I conclude that it is a general problem because I read discussions on Nigerian online forums we all seem to have the same kind of problem with them).
This is how most relationships go in naija:
You call the girl everyday, she does not call you back; at best she flashes you; and if you dont call you are not caring.
And because you have told her you love her, you immediately start to carry all her burden such as buying her this and that, you change her wardrobe, pay for her hairdo, send her recharge cards etc, and this is despite that u yourself have a lot of personal burden on your head. And you dare not let her find out that she is just one of your competing priorities; she must be undisputable no. 1 priority even above yourself at every point in time; her “yes man”. Otherwise you are not caring, or u don’t love her. And rarely does she spend her money for you. If she ever does, she will keep reminding you of it at every moment an issue about you hesitating to do anything for her pops up.
When it comes to romance, she starts preaching that she is not ready, she wants to wait till she is married, or its against Gods law, or she asks you whether your luv for her is based on sex, that you dont luv her for demanding sex from her (And this is despite that she is not a virgin o o!). It beats me, really…
Then after managing you for some time, she dumps you and moves to another guy, or she just simply plays games at your back.
A lot of the times you are left wondering whether you are her mugu or whether it is normal for a relationship not to be 50-50 i.e. the guy coming 50 of the way and the girl equally coming 50.
This is the basic trend my relationship takes and what makes me raise issues with her and I find out that at the end of the day, I never win upon resolution. SHE WINS ALL THE TIME; because I am “pussy-whipped” (Lol) as one of my friends would say.
The root cause of this last fight is this same thing:
I complained to her that before I got my apartment, she used to put a lot of pressure on me that we don’t even have our privacy; that I should already have my own house, etc. (Hakim was privy to this before he left) But that now that I have my apartment, she rarely comes visiting; that after all we now have our privacy that she wanted and all. I insinuated that I believe that its because she doesn’t dig the apartment because it is a bachelor’s shit-hole (a mini-flat) and in turn doesn’t really like me too anymore cause I really don’t fit into her plans anymore (of which I am right). Well she took it badly and went beyond the issues, calling me a toddler she really doesn’t think she can baby sit. She even called it off and said that I might as well go find a girl that will be doing all my biddings and forget about her…
Now I feel like she crossed the line and that I really shouldn’t keep making her feel indispensable by apologizing for a justified complaint.
God, I look back now and wonder how proud she was. A lot of the time, I found myself accusing her that her ego was looming large between me and her/the progress of the relationship.

But I must admit that aside from the above, there is also the issue of my own fears about my own readiness for marriage: My finances that are not big enough to get the kind of lifestyle I’d prefer to start a married life with, the very many additional responsibilities that come along with it (talk about extended family members and the Society and their relentless expectations of you). Even though, this girl and I have discussed it that a married life should involve both guys bringing equity contributions to the table, I look at the trend of the relationship and I cannot but rue at the way it belies “our aspirations” (please read as my aspirations). I don’t trust yet that a married life with this girl will feel good.
Besides, I don’t think she wants me the way I am with my church rat income too. I may not be right but my understanding is that 99.9% of naija girls are like this and she sure doesn’t feel like she falls within that 0.1%.

I think I might just allow the relationship to end with this fight because this is really very far from what I bargained for. When I decided that I was going to start having a relationship during my final year in Ife, I felt what will work for me was a girl that was around my age-mate, who wouldn’t care in the world what I have as material possessions and be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. that we would start out as friends even though we’d have marriage in view and get married when both of us feel things are ripe and right for it rather than walk at anyonelse’s pace.
After two failed attempts, scarcity began to breed value. And here I am today.
The first few moments I began to deep my hand deep into my pocket for this girl, I couldn’t believe myself (You can ask Hakim. He was privy to it). But I felt sebi its just to prove that I have feelings for and that I am not s stingy brute. I never knew it could only get worse for a naija girl.
One of the things she mentioned in her tirade at me during the fight was the fact that I had not been able to get her a job despite that I work in Lagos (she has not gotten a job since she finished her service year in February). She said that if I really cared, I would be snooping aggressively around and would have gotten her interview dates (And this was inspite of the fact that I was actually doing this for her but obviously not as intensely as she wished. In fact, I got her 2 interview dates which she threw back in my chest saying she is not up for “anyhow job o”).
I just couldn’t help but feel that after devoting at least 30% of my $500 pay cheque every month to this bitch (and yes, I am not exaggerating about this), she sits her ass out in her own home and expects me to abandon my job and go about looking for hers?
Chris Rocks was right,  He said that we all know that for any relationship to work both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus… and we all know what that bleeping page; what that bleeping focus is: that focus is all about her. When a woman enters the relationship, she is already on that page; she is just expecting you to come aboard. So as a fella, when you wake up in the morning, you should just look yourself in the mirror and say:
“FUUU**CK YOU!!! Bleep your hopes, Bleep your dreams, Bleep your plans, Bleep everything you thought this life is gonna bring you. Now lets go out there and try to make this bitch happy”

And that’s it. He is right.

And besides, who wants to put up for the rest of his life with her little tites and her flat a*s sef… mchewwww. FCUUk HER!!!

But how I wish I could just be an eunuch; seriously; and not have to go through all of this poison.

I'M FINDING I VERY HARD TO READ THIS ESSAY

Errrrrrrrrrm dis na looooooooooooong read. . . . . . Ima go have a quick nookie and come back. . . . .

na Havard u go

Kinda interesting,

bhusayor:

Kinda interesting,

I wish i could read this long essay

^just extremely bored,n boredom makes me do the 'impossible',lol

na waoooo.
am always too lazy to read long essays.
whats up bhusayor?

The 1st paragraph wasn't bad,so ​ continued, I'♍ good dave2,

how is eko, hope your area does not require state of emergency cos of the flood

​ stay in ib,

oh ok.
how is satani

@op this is for you
All that bullshit's for the birds
You aint nothin but a vulture
Always hopin for the worst
Waiting for me to Bleep up
You’ll regret the day when I find another girl, yeah
Who knows just what I need, she knows just what I mean
When I tell her keep it drama free
Ohohohohohohohoh… x2(Chuckin up them(deuces)
I told you that im leaving (deuces)
I know you mad but so what?
I wish you best of luck
And now im finna throw them deuces up

[Chorus]
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to her
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to her [x2]

[Tyga Verse]
Uh, Use to be valentines
Together all the time
Thought it was true love, but you know women lie
Its like I sent my love with a text two times
Call cause I care but I aint get no reply
Tryna see eye to eye but its like we both blind
Bleep it lets hit the club, i rarely sip but pour me some
Cause when its all said and done,
I aint gon be the one that she can always run to
I hate liars, Bleep love Im tired of tryin
My heart big but it beat quiet
I don’t never feel like we vibin
Cause every time we alone its a awkward silence
So leave your keys on the kitchen counter
And gimme back that ruby ring with the big diamond
Shit is over, whatchu trippin for?
I don’t wanna have to let you go
But baby I think its better if I let you know

[Chorus]
Im on some new shit
http://www.elyricsworld.com/deuces_lyrics_chris_brown.html
Im chuckin my deuces up to her
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to her [x2]

[K Mc verse]
Look, my shorty always on some bullshit like Chicago
So I flip that middle finger and the index finger follow
Deuces, we aint got no future in tomorrow
I’m a dick, so it shouldn’t be that hard to swallow
The other chick Im with never complain
She make wanna leave the one im with Usher Raymond
Probably didn’t register, don’t trip, later on it will
Shorty full of drama like gangsta grizzles
I finally noticed it, it finally hit me
Like Tina did Ike in the limo, it finally hit me
I got a new chick, and she aint you
She paula patton thick She give me déjà vu
And all that attitude, I don’t care bout it
But all that shit I do for her, you gon hear bout it
Breezy rep two up, two down
But im just puttin two up, chuckin up the deuce now

[Chorus]
Im on some new shit
Im chuckin my deuces up to her
Im moving on to something better, better, better
No more tryin to make it work
You made me wanna say bye bye, say bye bye, say bye bye to her [x2]

This guy is 100% right, in Summary, Nigeria girls are not responsible [/b]and after proposing and they said yes, they will push all their[b] burdens on you and when sex time arrive, they claimed they are virgin,they are born again,do you want them for sex or they are on menstruation period like one my ex girlfriend,they will want you to pay their schoolfees, hair-d0, send them rechards etc

They [b]complain of privacy a[/b]fter which you get privacy,they will stop coming and give excused that the environment does not suit their plans

They end up insulting you and finally end up going to another guy and your QUOTE: Chris Rocks was right,  He said that we all know that for any relationship to work both people have to be on the same page, both people have to have the same focus

^u've always been scared of nigerian women

@dave2 satani ​s gone forever

190,do not let any nairaland girl or girls deceive you,No single responsible Nigerian girls again,Na manage we dey manage them with pity for our life

bhusayor:

^u've always been scared of nigerian women

@dave2 satani ​s gone forever

but your name still appears on his signature

He's changed his username, satani23\22 doesn't exist anymore.

IMO, I think Sexkillz is totli on point wt His contributn, U'v gotta suck it up nd let her go, be on ur own nd think about building a better future 4 u, wat I biliv is, a gal who doesn't love U or can't stay wiv u when things aren't too ghud 4 u DOESN'T DISAV Uone bit when u're better but on a 2nd tot, we shldn't blame such gals cos noone wants to get dumped or heartbroken after havngsuffered wiv U, Men can b funnynd wicked @ tyms

a really nice post. . . .

i agree with u 100%. . . .

n am beginning to feel that as it is written in the bible (that we should not have sex outside marriage), the bible should also state women should not demand and collect money from men outside marriage. . . .

its getting out of hand

if sex is a sin, they collecting money is a sin. . . . not fair. . .

this is not the first time am seeing or hearing such. . . .

n i know some nl girls wud come n say that if can not afford ***** main truth is if he drops the money u shud be able to do wat he wants. . . . God made fathers for a reason

bhusayor:

He's changed his username, satani23\22 doesn't exist anymore.

thanks to cuddlemii

[size=13pt]NICE WRITE UP AND INDEED VERY TRUE [/size]

To all men:

Even in the midst of dung, flowers bloom.