adeogunn:

Hello Qualified,

I don't usually respond to blogs, but i feel i should today because this seems like a rampant problem.

Some Nairalanders have made some important points such as questioning your dating history and your typical choice in men, points I believe are private to you but most be answered in your spare time.

I just have one question:
What are you looking for in marriage right now that makes you so desperate to want it at this juncture in your life?

If its too private of a question you can email me at adeogunn@hotmail.com

Take care and God Bless

hmmm ur name is adeogun, but trust me, ur jazz or ogun no go work on this one o

Cuddlemii:

Babes but why did you wait till 32yrs before finding a solution. Anyways its better late than never.

I didn't want to say anything before because this is a sensitive topic but since we are all free here, I can advice.

I think you need a self evaluation. You are the one who knows yourself. Are you arrogant? Are you too flashy? Do you live a flamboyant life? Do you frown all the time? ,

Once you can identify your character or habits that send wrong signals then you would be able to tackle them. You can ask young guys around you to evaluate you too.

Secondly, maybe you are not a social person. Single guys will not know you exist if you keep hiding. Try and socialize, keep the right group of friends and who knows anything can happen.

You said you are slim, good looking and u dress well. Sometimes we ladies wear hideous clothes that makes us look older. Probably you need to use your natural hair and dress a little bit youthful. Do a make over. Change your walking steps, when you walk too fast it shows lack of confidence. Get a signature walk. Find what suits your body type, face and height. Good hygiene is impt too cos men have infrared eyes.

Ladies mistake beauty as a criteria for marriage. Asides beauty, you have to be well behaved, have principles & all the wifely characteristics.

Take yourself out once in a while and spoil yourself. Men like independent women so this should be a catch for them.

Travel a lot to other states and visit your friends. Then get active in the church.

You can also join a sport club or something.

It can also be that you are too choosy. There is no way a single guy won't have approached you, maybe the ones that have been coming are just not your type. Try and be a little bit flexible.

Finally, humility is the best selling point. So if you have all them luxuries aka 220k gold jewelries, 230k lace materials, shoe and bag to match etc,  kindly put them away and be modestly sexy. Maturity, simplicity and good charisma are sturvs u need to work on.

Please don't be desperate, men would smell that inches away and capitalize on it.

Make sure you don't cross 35 Oh! Best of luck and pray hard!

This is one of the moments I like singing one of my favourite nelly hooks:

"She's right, you kno? Sheeeeee's right!"

Sagamite:

This is one of the moments I like singing one of my favourite nelly hooks:

"She's right, you kno? Sheeeeee's right!"

This is one of the moments I like singing one of my favourite nelly hooks

drop down and get you eagle on segamite, flap your wings

Cuddlemii:

This is one of the moments I like singing one of my favourite nelly hooks

drop down and get you eagle on segamite, flap your wings

You will have to shake that ish your mama gave you while dancing in front of me and then you will see how I get my eagle on.

Princek12:

The truth hurts, doesn't it? It also appeared that the comment struck a nerve in your body. Ouch! The poster to whose comments you responded made some valid points. Many women spend their twenties being too picky and looking for "rich" guys rather than finding a compatible guy who has potential. Unfortunately by the time those women reach their thirties the pool of eligible men from which to pick has substantially declined, making them vulnerable and prone to married men, because most men in that age range are either engaged or married.

Even though you make alot of sense and I agree with you, she is right! How does claremont know that this applies to the OP? Some women might just be unfortunate.

When I see women getting older complain about not finding someone, I normally have zero sympathy. I can only have sympathy for those that:

a) Dated a guy for long and were jilted.

b) Dated a guy for long and he did something that they reasonably couldn't be expected to continue with him.

c) Are not great looking and struggle to get attraction.

If a woman has average or above looks and is struggling to find a man at a later age and has not had any of the problems listed, I have absolutely nada pity.

It is hard to have any pity when, as a guy, you have seen people like them when they are young (and the current young ones) with their absolutely shyt attitude. More so, no disrespect, Naija girls.

I don't know the poster and can't talk about her character, but majority of Naija girls are shyt heads. I say that without reservation. I am purely being objective. Naija girls need to unlearn that culture of being rude and disparaging to men to show they are "too much" or "holy".

Eyaa dearie, im praying 4 you sha

Then You 're QUALIFIED as your name implies. Sucks, but u are saying no young guys confronts us, My quest is this: Will they be seeing u going out with PAPAs and still expect them to date u when seeing alllllll those mens' I cant try that girl. Change ways and even relocate to attract a new life, but only if u can end dat habit. Change dear.

@segamite

men dt brag have nothing to show off. ur eagle is under construction I presume dt why u spend a lot of time glancing at Kunbee's displays.

It happens! May be u are just 2 fine

What is bad in married men asking you out? perhaps it has been destined you are to be a 2nd wife. PLEASE, jump at the gesture and get hooked. Time is not on your side.
It is obvious we have more marriageable ladies than marriageable guy and guys are not willling to settle down on time. As such, taking 2nd, 3rd anf 4th wives becomes a very viable alternative otherwie, some women will never be hooked if we maintain the ratio of 1 man to 1 woman.

Cuddlemii:

@segamite

men dt brag have nothing to show off. your eagle is under construction I presume dt why u spend a lot of time glancing at Kunbee's displays.

Kunbee's displays make my Eagle fly. The hook to those are:

"I believe I can fly. I believe I can tosh the skies!"

Why do all these NL women keep on calling me S[b]e[/b]gamite. Una dey play SEGA games for una youth?

not too worry,since u have brought the issue right on here,i bet with you,
you will surely get a better one and of your choice on here, just be patient and b prayerful
but do not be moved by the things you see or here from men,
be very careful, anyway,here is my contact,you can reach me anytime any-day,
i'm also interested in getting to know you more, 08032877537,08025268564, hope
to hear from you soonest, takia!!!

Sagamite:

Kunbee's displays make my Eagle fly. The hook to those are:

"I believe I can fly. I believe I can tosh the skies!

Why do all these NL women keep on calling me S[b]e[/b]gamite. Una dey play SEGA games for una youth?

Why not get ur eagles flown with real women

I like the way some persons have totally ignored the plight of the Poster, and colluded to severely derail this thread ; way to go guys!

Cuddlemii:

Why not get your eagles flown with real women

Me?

I no get game o.

Sagamite:

Me?

I no get game o.

I figured but ur magic school bus bag does.

@poster
Its never too late. A 40 year old cousin of mine is getting married soon. She was jilted after a long courtship and nobody came her way until recently when a relative advertised on her behalf in a newspaper! Of course there were many unserious callers but she finally found her soulmate in a 45 year old man who was also jilted though he has a child.  I remember she had callers aged above 32 from Abuja but was not interested because of the distance. For me the newspaper idea is risky but there singles fellowships and agencies that link people together. Find out such places in Abuja and take to some reasonable advice given on this forum with regards to your dressing and behaviour. I pray that you meet a man who will make you happy afterall.

Unbelievable! Everyone here is telling you to call on God. I, THAT I AM havent heard from you. Now get down on your knees and give me,


a BJ.

I hppe you never friend your husband pass.
Try to dress decent instead of exposing your breast.
Stop looking for high class guys or those driving expensive cars
Don't let your behaviour show you are expensive
Be humble and don't be harsh
Check your lifestyle and your environment. Study guys that come your way and avoid club guys they will never get married in the next ten years.

@ poster, I'm 32 too and single but not desperate. I have a man who wnats to marry me but I'm not sure I want to marry him. Many of my friends are married.

But you see, as much as I want to get married, I'm  not desperate cos that's what men don't want.
You are not old, you are a young woman only matured and know better how to handle marriage. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I buy cuddlemi's advice, aplly it and pls invite nairalanders when the wedding bells start ringing. In the mwantime, get busy and your man is on his way.
Love!

Try and date a married man they are more caring.

@ Obowunmi,
Hi, can u pls send me a mail on select500@yahoo.com
it's quite urgent pls. thnks.

OP

Have you asked yourself why YOU ARE ATTRACTING MARRIED MEN? Why would you want someone's sloppy seconds or leftovers?

Misbee:

waooo!dats a nice reply frm cuddlemii.pls take to those attributes.once u try dem u wil c young guys cumin your way, dnt 4get 2 precipitate back and giv testimony.

thanx.

@posta,we both av similar case,bt in mine its guys younger dan i am(am not up 2 ur age nway) dat usually ask me out n in most cases i do turn dem down cos i knw dey aint crius,jst wana av fun.most of dem r my last younga bro's age.ders even 1 who has bin avin did crush 4 me bt dont av d lever 2 com up 2 me.bt its neva 2 late 4 GOD 2 do woteva he'll do.so dnt giv up hope my sis,kip prayin.

Hmm, do you look your age or older?

Dear Poster,it is really sad,be yourself, don`t try to pretend,be humble and modest in everything you do,just go about living your life as each day comes,forget about desperation and what the world thinks of your single status,you can only hear what they say if you care to listen. Take a deep look into your life may be you have made some mistakes when you were younger by been choosy,arrogant,proud etc if that be the case ,consider  publishing a book to help the younger ones who could just be making the mistake you made, rest assured you will have inner joy and fulfillment even when no single guy comes around.

@ candiikane,it depends on how u c me.

^^Right, ok. .Are these married men the same age as you or older and when you say younger men do you mean men younger than you?

@op, there are some nice responses here, that could be useful to you, 

be yourself, don`t try to pretend,be humble and modest in everything you do,just go about living your life as each day comes,forget about desperation and what the world thinks of your single status,you can only hear what they say if you care to listen.
also
Try and socialize, keep the right group of friends and who knows anything can happen.
and
Asides beauty, you have to be well behaved, have principles & all the wifely characteristics.

then answer the following questions
I think you need a self evaluation. You are the one who knows yourself. Are you arrogant? Are you too flashy? Do you live a flamboyant life? Do you frown all the time?
also
It can also be that you are too choosy. are you?

i am afraid this might not work but rather lead you to more married men
Take yourself out once in a while and spoil yourself. (married)Men like independent women so this should be a catch for them.

Please don't be desperate, you are not too old as some as pointed here, hoping it ends well for you

kandiikane:

Hmm, do you look your age or older?

Hey babe

Hey you, how are you? You know I am abit confused-are you male or female?

Am fine o and you?


What do you think my gender is and does it matter