So i am nigerian, but born and raised in the us. ive been dating this nigerian guy (born in naija been here 6 years) for 2 years. we are both in our in our 20s and graduate students. I spend most of my weekends and a 3 days of the week hanging out with him most of the day. my parents are constantly telling im disgracing myself and our family by being around him so much with out being married. its summer vaca and im staying with my parents and durng the school year my bf and i are about 2hrs away so we are just trying to spend as much time together as possible. we have disccussed marriage but we want to wait two years until we're done with school. i know theres whole igbo culture with marriage and courting, but what do you guys think. should i tell my parents to chill and respect my descions or, am i really hanging with him too much? anyone else with similar issues?

Honestly, i don't see any problem here. . .go on wiv d guy nd see how it goes since u both are still in school.

Depends on how long you have been dating?
You must know though that in a serious relationship the more time you spend with a man you are not married to, the more you withdraw from your marriage account explaining that means the more he knows about you too quickly the less he wants to marry you, be aware that if you plan to be together for 2years then you may want to systematically play hard to get and court eachother as opposed to date , looks like the same but you may want to think about it again.
Courtship leads to marriage while dating leads anywhere.

Why not try to make your parents know the situation between you two

@ OP, try to reason with your parents here. What if doesn't marry you ? Sometimes, distance makes the heart grow fonder. Don't become one of the infamous NL threads that post "I was with him for (9) years and he didn't marry me?"

Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free ? Be smart! and once in a while, it might be helpful to listen to your parents.

Just what if things take a different turn and he doesn't marry you ?

adaigbo:

So i am nigerian, but born and raised in the us. ive been dating this nigerian guy (born in naija been here 6 years) for 2 years. we are both in our in our 20s and graduate students. I spend most of my weekends and a 3 days of the week hanging out with him most of the day. my parents are constantly telling im disgracing myself and our family by being around him so much with out being married. its summer vaca and im staying with my parents and durng the school year my bf and i are about 2hrs away so we are just trying to spend as much time together as possible. we have disccussed marriage but we want to wait two years until we're done with school. i know theres whole igbo culture with marriage and courting, but what do you guys think. should i tell my parents to chill and respect my descions or, am i really hanging with him too much? anyone else with similar issues?

I'm not going to lie, spending every waking moment with someone can help deteriorate a relationship because eventually 1 person starts to feel that they are being smothered. In your case it seems like you two are making up for past times, so its a bit understandable. I understand what these people are saying about courting, [b]"no one courts anymore" [/b]unless they are from a strict muslim or christian background. FYI courting definition means no affection or intimacy (ex:touching, kissing and definitely no sexing) and having chaperoned dates.
As for your parents disapproval, i take it that you have not told them how serious your relationship with your boyfriend has gotten. You might want to tell them we are not in ancient times anymore, lol. I know that our Nigerian fathers do not generally want to hear about your relationship, so speak with your mother and let her understand how important your man is to you. Be candid so you might want to tell her that you both discussed marriage already.

Your parents are just trying to hurry up the dowry money

^^^
In business, it is called ROI (Return On Investment)

I hear courting is old fashion and find it so funny
New fashion: fast divorce, unhappy marriages, dead chivalry, Equality in marriage
Old Fashion: happy forever marriages, chivalry, complimenting each other.

Trust me i am a feminist true in true but i say if you want the Man, Marriage, Children then you need to play it old fashion men will always be rational and women emotional no matter how much money or powerful a woman is, her mumu button will be activated by a man she likes, so she needs her dad or brother ( rational) to protect her interest from another rational while she is being herself (emotional).

Of cos if its a fling then dismiss the above and chop the the life of your head and care for no one just use a condom and make sure its what you really want ( no outside influences like me) but if you want the man forever, you better get some self control and standards.

Some women never learn this odu am giving you here. Hope it opens up to you.

Check the comments the men are saying listen to your parents or do you want to have 17 years engagement singing single ladies and the ladies are saying go for it this is 2011, lol , be wise

Thanks for your insight, i will think about everything said here, and to answer some above questions, I am not hiding my relationship at all from my parents.
They know my boyfriend well enough and his family here even better than they know him, We are very serious about each other, i was not the one who initially brought up marriage he was, anyways thanks again

tell your parents to go and get a life. I see no problem with you spending a lot of time with your bf as long as it is a serious and committed relationship with the prospect of it being long term. And from my understanding of your post, it appears as though you have a serious relationship with him, as you have indicated that you have both decided to get married.