virginprincess:
So because your friend gave your wife money you just concluded that she is cheating on you without any concrete evidence ,nawa for some men sha,anyway,what i see there is that you never trusted your wife from the onset if not why would you just conclude that she's cheating on you .

Richy4:
<< Trust is really dead in this weird world..
***Does it mean that this can never be a possible scenario any more in this weird world?**

<< John my friend stays in France, the wife Sandra stays in Nigeria...
<<On a good day, out of my kind and benevolent heart, gave Sandra 30K to buy icecream for the kids and herself.. thinking I was looking out for the interest of my friends John..
<<John came back to Nigeria, saw the alert on the wife's phone and began to "Meleske"
<< My goodness, suddenly turned into betrayal, adultery and infidelity
<< Na waaaOo!!

Osama2478:
Thank you for your contribution. I have only tried to shorten the story as much as possible. As of this moment, she is now with me in Europe. As someone also said above, she was never remorseful about the whole thing in fact, she never saw anything wrong in what she did.

Before I saw the fund transfer between them, I have been working on her traveling plans alongside the kids. When their visas were approved, I was still keeping the whole thing under wrap and was hoping to start telling people until they reach here or closer to their departure, I never knew that my wife had already told that my friend. Only for the guy to reach out to me to show him ways on how to travel and pretending as if he didn't know anything about the visas of my family.

From the way he was talking, he gave himself out until I found out that my wife had to him. It is one of the reasons why I ended my friendship with the guy as I don't consider him as a friend anymore. As for the wife too, I can't afford to close my two eyes while with her again. It is very obvious that I am dealing with a dangerous woman.

For this abroad, I am scared of having any significant investment to her knowledge because I am tired and wary of her. A marriage without trust is as good as dead.
You should have divorce her here Nigeria and carry your kids to Europe.

shortIGBOman:


You are over reacting. Giving financial gifts to my friends families are no issue. You have no evidence that proofs that your Wife is cheating on you with your Friend. If I were you, I'll let it slide.

Baronthecelebri:
the wife should have inform be him that his friend send money for ice-cream

Antimarraige:
From 2010 upwards, na fool dey marry

Enjoy your woes

Baronthecelebri:
mumu, why did she tell the husband that his friend sent money

Antimarraige:
From 2010 upwards, na fool dey marry

Enjoy your woes

Osama2478:
As for me, I don't engage in any private discussion with my friends' girlfriends let alone wives.

For any man that engages in private discussions with his friend's wife without his knowledge and to the point of sending money to her especially when the man is not around if nothing is happening at the moment, it clearly showed that he has got a plan. That was my conviction. These are the kind of people that will keep pretending to care for the woman because her husband is not around till they get in between their legs.

Funny enough, this was a guy that was owing me money and never talked about it again because I have traveled abroad.

Richy4:

Yes she should have told him... But due to experience, subsequent events may have occurred that led to her not speaking out or forgot to speak out...
I'm not trying to be the devil's advocate but sometimes frivolities like that might not matter..

crackhaus:

And when her husband asked her about the transaction, why wouldn't she just say "ohh I forgot to inform ya, it was for ice-cream" instead of acting all dodgy and secretive?

crackhaus:

And when her husband asked her about the transaction, why wouldn't she just say "ohh I forgot to inform ya, it was for ice-cream" instead of acting all dodgy and secretive?

<<U are making me the devil's advocate and it's not nice

<<When there are trust issues in a relationship, even if u like, explain how heaven was made with good evidence, someone who doesn't trust you will never trust you..

<< I believe that Sandra gave an explanation on how the Icecream money came about but due to trust issues, John wasn't buying what she was selling to him...and Sandra knowing the kind of man she married cannot kill herself just because the John refused to believe her because of his difficulties in trusting...

If there's no trust in a relationship, it's as good as dead... Some people naturally have trust issues and it's the worst set of people any sane individual can encounter because they will drive the person insane..

Sometimes though I ask myself, is online world different from offline world? Because I know lots of people who can help friends genuinely... If they get here online, do they act differently? It seems I am the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with giving loosed change to a friend's family whom Everyone knows traveled out.. it's weird

Osama2478:
Nairalanders,

Please I need you to help me have a third eye into a personal matter. Although, I have taken a position, I just wanted to be sure I never overreacted.

I am a guy based in Europe and my wife is in Nigeria. I have only been away for a year.

There was a day I was calling my wife on phone and her other phone was ringing which I asked her to pick up but she never did only to say that it was my friend calling her. I was surprised and asked her immediately how did my friend get know her other number. She gave some not-so-convincing explanation but I let it slide.

Curiously, when I returned to Nigeria, I discovered that this friend sent money to her and she never told me about it. The so called friend also didn't tell me anything. In fact, he has always acted as if he wasn't having any contact with my wife.

When I saw the transaction, my wife wanted to manipulate the situation to make it look like I was invading her privacy. I stood my ground to know what purpose the money was meant for but no reasonable explanation.

I called the friend too to know what the money was meant for but only retorted if he couldn't give my wife money as a friend. He couldn't offer any reasonable explanation. With high sense of modesty, this is a guy that would wish to be in my position economic wise and I have always been very generous to my wife when it comes to money. Therefore, financial lack could not be an excuse.

After this experience, I severe my friendship with the guy and rein in on my wife too. I felt that was not the kind of friendship any reasonable person should keep because I felt betrayed by his actions and inactions in relating with my wife behind me. I also see both of them (friend and wife) to be dangerous to my well-being.

Please I will like to know if I overreacted.

Thank you.

MOD please take it to front page for wider views and opinions

Richy4:

<<U are making me the devil's advocate and it's not nice

<<When there are trust issues in a relationship, even if u like, explain how heaven was made with good evidence, someone who doesn't trust you will never trust you..

<< I believe that Sandra gave an explanation on how the Icecream money came about but due to trust issues, John wasn't buying what she was selling to him...and Sandra knowing the kind of man she married cannot kill herself just because the John refused to believe her because of his difficulties in trusting...

If there's no trust in a relationship, it's as good as dead... Some people naturally have trust issues and it's the worst set of people any sane individual can encounter because they will drive the person insane..

Sometimes though I ask myself, is online world different from offline world? Because I know lots of people who can help friends genuinely... If they get here online, do they act differently? It seems I am the only one who doesn't see anything wrong with giving loosed change to a friend's family whom Everyone knows traveled out.. it's weird

chigoziri2403:

If as a married man,your wealthy friends always fraternize with your wife without your notice, what will be your reaction?

Richy4:

Funny enough I have only 2 genuine friends whom I don't even see as friends but brothers...we know our boundaries... We got each other's backs...
If I travel out and they call my wife to know how they are doing, I will not raise an eyebrow....

Again whom u married plays an important role too... If as a married man I can't trust my spouse, what are we doing in that relationship? Then we are as good as Flatmates..

Osama2478:


It appears that you still don't understand my narration here. I am not saying that a friend should not call my wife or give them gifts. What's the business of my friend having the special number of my wife? What's the point in my friend having a private conversation as well as getting access to my family's classified information and still acting in pretence with me? What could make him transfer money to my wife and was hidden until I found out? Like I said before, if it has not started, there is a plan underway.

Osama2478:


It appears that you still don't understand my narration here. I am not saying that a friend should not call my wife or give them gifts. What's the business of my friend having the special number of my wife? What's the point in my friend having a private conversation as well as getting access to my family's classified information and still acting in pretence with me? What could make him transfer money to my wife and was hidden until I found out? Like I said before, if it has not started, there is a plan underway.

Richy4:

Funny enough I have only 2 genuine friends whom I don't even see as friends but brothers...we know our boundaries... We got each other's backs...
If I travel out and they call my wife to know how they are doing, I will not raise an eyebrow....

Again whom u married plays an important role too... If as a married man I can't trust my spouse, what are we doing in that relationship? Then we are as good as Flatmates..

Again u don't have business keeping friends who doesn't know boundaries.. before you call someone a friend, u should have weighed them on a balance... Choose your friends... Your friends shouldn't choose you because there are "why(s)"

chigoziri2403:

The question is a yes or no one

Check your question properly and see if it was a yes or no question..

Qtrpst4:
At least I have a father, but do you have, since marriage is useless to you am sure stupidity runs in your leanage

Richy4:

<< I understand perfectly what you wrote previously man...I would have stayed away if I didn't get it...
<<The reason why u brought up the issue is for us to look at it and air our opinion right? .. and it will be really funny and foolhardy if we all follow a certain pattern or a parallel line without looking at possible scenarios or "what if(s)"

<< Now, why did you call that individual a friend?..on the scale of 1% - 100%, what percentage would u rate him before you traveled?.. Is it all male individuals u introduce to your spouse as friends?

***NOW LET'S LOOK AT THIS SCENARIO***
<<You were married... Probably talks to your wife all the times from courtship to marriage..
<<Suddenly, u traveled..she misses you..
<<She had no one to talk to physically except u on the phone or videos which u and I knows it's different...
<<She ran into your friend and they starts talking... some women being whom they are jokingly accused him of not calling since you left,..he promised to call on her once in a while to see how she was doing..
<< He fulfilled the promises and called..Nigerian network being what it is, she was not reachable..
<< He tried the following day and told her he has been calling but her number was not going through... She now decided to give out her personal or private number just incase..
<< Due to the fact she has no one to talk to for a long time, she talked and forgot herself and overshared sensitive information..

Do you think this can be a possible scenario? Do you think something like this can never happen? Just be sincere.. remember u have no evidence that your wife was cheating.. if not, u would have presented it...

maybe u should have made a proper investigation before leaving the shores of Nigeria.. it would have helped your sanity because what u are accusing her of doesn't hold water in my opinion..