Just for FUN. . . . Pls don't abuse me, my wife or my family

1. Recognize the small things - they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

2. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special, then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner, then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why, you should lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear:", Because I can."

3. Warm her up when she’s cold, and not by giving her your jacket, then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say: "If you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

4. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party’s dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

5. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

6. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then jump up and SCREAM in her ear! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things, like basketball.

7. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

8. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

9. Every time you’re in her house, steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.

10. Take her out to dinner. Right when she’s about to order interrupt and say no she’s not hungry. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

11. Look her in the eyes and smile, then clock her one. Girls love a spontaneous guy.

12. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it, but not a sexy cologne smell; a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about.

13. When it’s raining keep asking her if she’s crying. Shell say no it’s just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her “Stop crying, you @#%$ baby”! Girls like a tough man as I've already stated. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

14. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing that’s important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

15. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this one that much, but I think it's funny.

16. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.

17. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really, really hard until she criess. This will impress her by showing what a strong man you are.

18. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

19. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. When she says that she is, say "you better be". Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

20. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girls needs some improvement.

21. If, I mean when, she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time later in the day. This will ensure that she waits by the phone. Also, tell her when you call you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll really be excited. Now don't call. That's also quite funny.

22. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When your gf looks at you, stare into her eyes, mouth the word's Bleep you and grab the other girl's ass. Girl's love competition.

23. Introduce her to your friends as 'some chick'. Girls love those special nicknames.

24. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.

25. If you're listening to music and she asks to hear it. Tell her no. Girl's love a mysterious guy.

Lemme know how long it takes for her to kick your ass to the curb!!!!!!!!!!!

kinda funny!!! love it!!

I wish to hell Mr. Chima would!

Nice!!! very funny

If some guy did what the OP just wrote, there will be war

My man dare not do this to me cos am not a very patient person.

POSTER NICE ONE. NO 4 SOUNDS VERY INTERESTING. IF I DO THAT TO ANY WOMAN, I'LL WEAR A SO SERIOUS EXPRESSION THAT SHE'LL THINK SHE'S LOST HER CONCIOUSNESS

Not a bad one

Nice one. when i get married someday, i may apply them

If my man did that, i would run a way

oh
am sleeping