my wife is 7 years older me. though i dont mind since i believe and have seen her indisputable love for me that has manifested itself in so many ways. but i just have a feeling that because of the age difference she takes some things for granted. i could recall about a year ago when i told her to do something for me, she blurted out that i am ordering her like a housegirl. though she later turned it into a joke and did what i requested it sent many alarms ringing in my head. but my greatest concern happened of recent when her elder sister( a professor of medicine in some american university) came visiting. she did not tell me until about three days to her arrival. we live in a two bedroom apartment and she made us vacate our bedroom for her sister to the other unfurnished one where we had to sleep on the floor. it looked odd to me but i never wanted to make too much of a fuss about it since it was her sibling. but guys dont you think she does these because she is older and if i were older she may not be this autocratic? but then again because i never grew up in Nigeria and don't really know how in-laws are to be handled. i dont know if what she did as regards to her sister was normal in the african context. i dont want to be disrespectful.

op

she is taking u for granted

u fu-ck big time
why did u nyash her when she came to ur house

op
sorry for asking

is ur wife d bread winner or she is feeding u.

i think she is -_-[img]http://2.s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]
[img]http://s07.flagcounter.com/count/DymW/bg=E6E6E5/txt=E6E6E5/border=E6E6E5/columns=1/maxflags=1/viewers=3/labels=0/[/img]

@MMM
no she is not the breadwinner. we share the responsibilities like rent, insurance etc. but to be frank i moved in with her after our marriage. but we share all expenses.

^^
then send her back 2 d mum in d villa

and marry anoda wife .

You seem to be a silent sufferer, and i think you and your wife are not having a good enough communication or else, she (no matter her age) should have understood you well enough.
  Why don't you talk this thing with her, let her know your concerns, your displeasures and opinions about things regarding these issues.

You marry a woman 7phuckn yrs older than u and u re complaining naw? Hehe, u have to deal with it, and how in God name will you have to leave your matrimonial room just for a visitor frm some bloody country? Man,how long is ur marriage before i tell u what to do?

@p.wiz
for close to two years

op
ur wife should be happy & grateful 2 GOD dat u married her.

For crying out loud husband re rare, so she should hold u tight.

She is even old enough 2 be ur sugar mum & what where u thinking when u married her

Look at he kind of stupid advice you guys are giving to this guy. Please my brother, this your wife is by no means taking advantage of. We all are humans and are bound to make mistakes. First for the first complain. She may have said that because you didn't tell her to do that for you with respect. Common guy u'v got to respect even if you are the senior. Secondly, on the issue of inlaw. Common don't tell me that its because your have to vacate for sister just for a night you are complaining. Here in Nigeria, we treat in laws well not to talk of when she's a profesor. Thump up for this your wife for having respect and love for you even when she's your senior. Please remove that mentality from you or you destroy your happy home. SHALOM!

Look at he kind of stupid advice you guys are giving to this guy. Please my brother, this your wife is by no means taking advantage of. We all are humans and are bound to make mistakes. First for the first complain. She may have said that because you didn't tell her to do that for you with respect. Common guy u'v got to respect even if you are the senior. Secondly, on the issue of inlaw. Common don't tell me that its because your have to vacate for sister just for a night you are complaining. Here in Nigeria, we treat in laws well not to talk of when she's a profesor. Thump up for this your wife for having respect and love for you even when she's your senior. Please remove that mentality from you or you destroy your happy home. SHALOM!

@MMM
It is not as simple as you put it.
firstly we dont chose pple we fall in love with. we met here in the us, not that i imported her from some african village and her qualities as a person overrides all other the considerations like age.
i have no problems with her. we never fight or quarrel over anything. the only issue is the one i stated. and you guys have still not come up with a cogent solid or candid take on it.

@ eze
she spent two weeks with us.

@Poster: They say Love is blind but my gf takes exception to that. Her Love doesnt only see but it goes around with touchlights n rechargeables! First, U said you married her because of her indisputable love for you ryt? I take that to mean U didnt love her as much as she did U so it ws mur like a pity or convenience thingy. . . (I stand to be corrected pls). D age difference is way too much n l dare say that she is, maybe unconciously, controlling you. It is normal, U cant help it but it can be managed n reduced so do the obvious, talk thing through with her and Dude? Learn To STAND Ur Ground and Be D Man odawise soon,U wl be sharing d living room with the dog while she gists with her sis in ur matri room n her gf stays in d oda!

Nigggga r u white?

so u slept on the floor for 2 weeks
Bros u try ooo

For 2weeks?! And you are sleeping on the floor. This your sister in law. Does't she know that she making life uncomfortable for you and your wife. Ok, don't blame your wife cause she wants to please her sister but put the blame on your sister in law who is so dump to know that she's making life uncomfortable for you. But also tell your wife that she should tell you on time when ever she's inviting someone to the house. SHALOM!

dont blame the wife ke who told them to sleep on the floor? wife or in law?

@kpoli is it better then if he told the in law to go sleep on the floor while him and his wife sleep on bed? Common think wisely man! SHALOM!

M M M:

op
your wife should be happy & grateful 2 GOD dat u married her.

For crying out loud husband re rare, so she should hold u tight.

She is even old enough 2 be your sugar mum & what where u thinking when u married her  

OP
This is by far the longest post by MMM.And for him not to have mentioned the very thing he really loves then it means you have a very serious problem at hand.
MMM thumbs up.

Op very sad situation.For heavens sake you are the Husband regardless of age.Take your position or forget about that marriage altogether.
What is this sleeping on the floor thing? you both sleep on floor while the sister sleeps in your room?? on your bedmadness of the highest order.
Let me tell you,A matrimonial bedroom and bed is meant 4 u and you alone.Not even your parents! Any sober relative would not even spend a night in your room!
If you have talked and shes nt willing to change and allow you your rightful place as hubby then she can manage alone.
Thats just too much headache to live with on daily basis.
Peace of mind is what matters. May God help you.
7 yrs is still a big gap but love

Eze nnaemeka:

@kpoli is it better then if he told the in law to go sleep on the floor while him and his wife sleep on bed? Common think wisely man! SHALOM!

If the wife had told him on time, they wud have gotten the other room ready. . . n yes, i wud have sent her to sleep on the floor, no be she wan visit

Your wife must have thought it would be okay with you to let her sister sleep in your bedroom. You need to talk to her and let her know that you both need to make a decision on some matters and not her taking them personally.

malik.sr:

@MMM
It is not as simple as you put it.
firstly we dont chose pple we fall in love with. we met here in the us, not that i imported her from some african village and her qualities as a person overrides all other the considerations like age.
i have no problems with her. we never fight or quarrel over anything. the only issue is the one i stated. and you guys have still not come up with a cogent solid or candid take on it.

It is very simple and easy as d man of d famiy

@ Malik Sr

You are not black, for sure. Lemme guess--Pakistani?

The part about "am I your house girl" is not to be taken that seriously if she finally did what you asked her to do. I have read about 3 posts in the past few days where men were being yelled at, emotionally tortured and even beaten up by their wives. So I guess she was indeed sweet by turning it into a joke instead of actually turning you into her houseboy. Secondly, about the sleeping on the floor-that too should be taken in gud spirit. In-laws or friends, when you have visitors, you would want to offer them the best, don't you? It shouldn't be like you eat the meat and give them the bones. How would you feel if you were visiting your bro's place and were asked to sleep on the floor for 2 weeks while the hosts slept comfortably in their bedroom?

The part to be considered seriously is that you are not happy within about the age difference and you are trying to bring up silly issues to put her at blame and get out of the relation. Would you have given these issues a second thought if you were married to a girl 7 years younger to you?

The issue here is that he moved in with the wife and the wife still believes that she owns the house. Let her know that U married her 4 crying out loud and both of U should make decisions not one of U making it and not minding wat the other thinks. Age or no age let her know U are the man here and not the other way round.

pendo89:

OP
This is by far the longest post by MMM.And for him not to have mentioned the very thing he really loves then it means you have a very serious problem at hand.
MMM thumbs up.

can i marry u even though u re 20yrs older than me  

@smilenw
your analysis seems to be the most tenable.
you delved into the roots of my fears and insecurities.
i think i left my imagination to run wild.
thanks

...

Hmmmm @ poster, i do not think your wife is taking you for granted because of the age difference, the problem i see here is her inability to think right and put your concerns into consideration, if she was 7yrs younger than you, whe would make the same decision, my hubby is far older than me, and when he ask me to do anything for him, for especially if it is too much, sure i ask him if i was his house help, (that one i think it is normal). The issue of her sister, she should have told you first, then asked you if both of you should vacate your room for her, since her stay with you was short-lived, all she did was to make the house comfortable for her sister, am sure if it was someone from your family that visited, she would have done the same thing, you(both) as a couple can manage the situation, not the visistor, So do not think the age has anything to do with it at all, i would also advice you to talk to her, and let her know that as the head of the home, you have to make the major decisons, while she makes the minor ones.