excellence44:

So men and women reason alike?

In matters of right and wrong... nothing is gender based.

It's just like saying if brushing your teeth is a man or woman thing.

semanose:


In matters of right and wrong... nothing is gender based.

It's just like saying if brushing your teeth is a man or woman thing.

And emotions don't play a role in some right and wrong?
Just like saying ' he is the love of my life and I will marry him despite both of us being AS'.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.
I have also promised her that nothing will happen to her and we will grow old together. Unfortunately we lost her and I have continued being a father to all four children and I have never treated my step daughter differently.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

She was treating all four children good until my wicked aunty has spill the beans which I have apologised for not telling her in the first and I have asked her to continue being a good mother she was before knowing the truth.
But she refused saying I didn't tell the truth and the child should go and leave with her mom family. I have explained to her the reason why she cannot stay with them to no avail and I ask her not to tell the child the truth but she has told her.

It wasn't easy for her knowing the truth she asks me if I will take her back to her mom people I said no. She is still my child and she will not go anywhere and I will resolve the problem very soon.

Unfortunately my wife has totally changed so much toward the child and I hate coming home seeing her crying all the time. She feel insecure in the house knowing that she is not the biological child of the house.

Talking to my wife was to no avail she has insist that the child must go back to her mother family or they will be not peace.

I reported the problem to her people nothing was done and we are still dealing with the same thing everyday.

Honestly speaking I hate being in such a messy situation but I will not send her back to her mom family she is my first child and I have made a promise to my late wife that the day the child will leave my house it will be the day she will get married.
Since my wife want her to leave and the child is already depresses.
I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

I haven't told her anything about my decision yet and I want to know if getting her own house will help the situation. This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

You're a Wiseman, it show's your brain is functioning appropriately.

That's the best decision you can take at this point in time. Women are naturally selfish and wicked, is only very few of them that don't have that character. That woman can't stay with you in that house ,she has to leave, or else she will kill that girl before your eyes or it will cause continuous fight between you and her. Don't give in to her demand, women always feel they have say over every man, but they forget that all men are not thesame. She's doing that to make you agree to her terms, but don't listen, leave the little girl alone and fulfill the promise you made.

Let your wife leave that house.


Thank you.

ahnie:
We dey kampe
How K,y,and new Omomo dey ?

We are fine. Bless God

Your decision to rent a house for your late wife's first daughter shows that you are a kind hearted person. God bless you. However, you need to assist the girl to get in touch with her biological father in order for her to regain her self-confidence and heal from the trauma that came from identity crisis that she likely experienced when the truth was revealed to her.

For your to love your wife’s child this much means that your new wife is not the woman for you. I am glad that you are a man of your words and looking after the girl like your biological child. The new wife is a wicked woman and I say this confidently without hearing her side of the story. She knew that you had four kids and what difference does it make who gave birth to who?
A woman that can resist a child who has no mother is not a wife material. I am a woman myself and I tell you this as a fact.
Don’t let people guilt trip you for not co FiDi g in her earlier on since you have raised the girl before she was two years old. You are the the only father that she knows. It is different if she was 15yrs before you adopted her.
You are even kind to think of renting an apartment for this selfish woman. If her family supports her, they are also wicked. Your first born is much older than her own kids and how does she know the future? Maybe this girl would be a mother to them. A woman that marries a man with kids ought to know that she is in for a lot of drama. Just make sure that she has her own income before giving you rules and regulations and terms and conditions.

Gudfadah:
Good evening nairaland.

I am a married man and I have six children. When I met with my first wife she was a single mother of 1 girl she was a years 6 months we got married when she was 5 years old.
We had 3 children together making them 4 unfortunately we lost her in 2016 during the birth of our twins.

Before she passed on she asks me to promise her that if anything happened to her I should never send her daughter back to her family to experience the same thing she went through in there hands.
I have promised her that the child is mine and she will never go anywhere the day she will leave my house will be on her wedding day.

I have since remarried and we are blessed with twins. When I met with my current wife I didn't tell her that my step daughter is not my biological child she knew she was my first child.
She has been a part of me ever since she was 1 plus and I didn't think it was necessary telling my wife she was not my child.

I have come to conclusion I will not divorce her but I will rent a 2 bedroom apartment for her to be staying with the twins while I continue staying with the four children in my house I owe the house.

This is where I need your advice nairalanders what do I do in this situation?

Your step daughter is sister to, and shares same blood with your biological children. So she rightfully belongs where her siblings are.
Ask your wife "is your step daughter different from the girl she would have happily adopted if she was childless ?"

Your plan to rent another house is good but will not achieve your purpose as your wife will work against it. Let her know of this plan and that if she tries to make it difficult, you won't mind selling your current home and relocating far from her. Then watch her sense reset.

My wife died recently too leaving two children from my stepdaughter to me in my house and I treat them like my own.

That woman may poison that girl if care is not taken. So rent another apartment for her or let her go!