~Bluetooth:

Some families especially the poor ones are just like Afghanistan. . .fight fight fight all the time !

This issue of fight fight is not only perculiar with poor families, but a family where couples are not ready to learn from each other. This may happen as aresult of wrong choice made by either the husband or the wife. It is EASY to make a mistake, but difficult to correct it. I call it a mistake in the sense that
if a man decides to marry a woman he had not studied, but with the intention of learning from each other in the name of love, subsequently, after the wedding, the woman will not be ready to learn, will not accord respect to the husband, before her husband says a word she has already spoken five,she is not ready for any corrections, she does not welcome her mother inlaw/father inlaw and her husband,s relations, unless her relations. Inaddition, there can only be peace only if any money belonging to the husband will be in her possession and spends it at will without negotiation or consultation with the husband. Any attempt to correct this always result to fight and nagging. Consequent upon all these, there is always regret and lack of peace which one may be tempted to think that marriage is not worth it. But in the circumstance where both wife and husband are ready to learn from each other, have misunderstandings and resolve them amicablly, then, it worth it. It is better to stay on top of a roof than to stay with  a wicked and nagging woman.

Marriage is totally worth it but its d attitude we ladies have towards marriage that SERIOUSLY has to change.
Advice for d ladies:-
1.stop making ridulously demands.have some self respect nd dnt just dump all ur wahala on ur man's head.
2.marriage isnt just d end of it ,there is life after d whole wedding wahala and usually we ladies blive that We Can nw rest nd you can start growin excessive adipose tissue in all d wrong place, lol,
Let change ths atitude pls

davidylan:

One day you will look back and wish you could take those words back.

Wishing what?

That i go through all those stress and inconvenience myself just to please somebody?

And funny thing, most people cannot predict were their marriage is heading  to.

The-same people who start their marriage happy and loving, end up separating in bitter way.

Who do you blame for that.

stillwater:

Maybe I sound naive, how's single life different from married life?

My sister o. I'm using her to pose for a while.

Send that sister to me ASAP. Her life will never be the same again and she will forever thank you for it.  

How's single life different from married life? for one you start saying yes sir to another man for life.

davidylan:

Send that sister to me ASAP. Her life will never be the same again and she will forever thank you for it.  

How's single life different from married life? for one you start saying yes sir to another man for life.

Lol, doesn't bother me. Been doing that to my dad since time immemorial without talking back. I'm a veteran in that, lol. It's even better now at least the man would be my friend.

stillwater:

Lol, doesn't bother me. Been doing that to my dad since time immemorial without talking back. I'm a veteran in that, lol. It's even better now at least the man would be my friend.

ok then you be opening your legs on command from now on.

*Pukes*.

stillwater:

*Pukes*.

you better start learning. Most men dont joke with that thing, i sure dont. I make that very clear from the begining.

davidylan:

you better start learning. Most men dont joke with that thing, i sure dont. I make that very clear from the begining.

Well the bible commands I do that as long as I am married. Every woman does it, why should my own be different? Abeggii.

stillwater:

Well the bible commands I do that as long as I am married. Every woman does it, why should my own be different? Abeggii.

ori e pe. very good girl.

I think people have their different ideas of what marriage is all about. Some are right and some are wrong. This misconception has made Oyibo people take marriage as a fairy tale. If it is not all fussy and sweet like we see in the movies then it is not right. We Nija, like we commonly do, have adopted this mentality.
I believe that people are not well informed about marriage and it's expectations, that is why it is even more challenging than it is supposed to be.

Post from Dayokanu

For most part, I have thought about it and I think its overrated

As a man, Marriage is a bondage. The invasion of privacy, wanting to be all in my business and the countless nags Sheesh!!!!

When some of my "fipa" girls start their nags about meaningless things I just thank God that I am not legally binded to them or anyone.

Most importantly the part about having to share my hard earned money and sweat of my labour with someone who contributes far less

Marriage would only make sense to me when

The women are less controlling. Everything about your life should revolve round them. Come the phock on!!! I have been living wothout you for most of my life, why would everything just start revoloving around you ?

Talk/nag less. Just talking about what-the phock-ever. I suggested to one that I can buy her chewing gum to keep her mouth busy instead of just talking about every goddamned thing in the universe, The less you talk the more you think

Give me my own private space (Atimes i want to watch soccer, watch CNN, TruTV, Discovery or just surf the web and not gist/gossip about neighbours and friends) Several times some of these girls have forced me to watch Wendy Williams show, "E", Kardashians, American best dance groups, even one slow show of the Braxtons showing their daily life, I felt like plucking my eyes out I could feel my brain power diminishing by the minutes as I sat down watching. Yet you have to appear interested else 2 hours of jigijigi that night would be used to beg and apologize for not watching those shows.

Moods swings? Oh my freaking goodness. Someone that was chatty and happy now just turns and starts sulking like what the Hell!!!!, Are you phocking possesed by demons?

Most importantly earn their own money preferably earn almost at par with me and contributing equally so no one is losing in this union.

If I had made some "mistakes" and some of my numerous condoms have leaked, had 2 boys in my teens or twenties, I wont even think about marriage again. Walahi

I think some amendments needs to be done to the whole marriage issue. If marriage can be made not to be a lifetime thingy and possibly reneweable after every 5yrs I would support this

Dayo, you saved me the energy of having to type cos, 99% of what I thought about marriage were summarized in your post above.

I fear marriage seriously but it will happen.

If marriage is going to be a subtraction instead of a great addition from your life,  then it's not worth it. Come to think of it, you can do well or bad by your only self.

@SWIFT SMS, Can we meet? I really like the way your mind works and I would like to know the real you! Please let me have your response via my e-mail: oige11@yahoo.com. Thanks.

I'm loving the thread. . .

@ Dayokanu n others of like minds,

Love is sacrificial. It takes a lot of sacrifice, patience and perseverance. Marriage is for matured people. Though it doesn't mean it won't have its challenges.

The thread is meant to be an interactive one. It's also to help those that are having challenges.

Letz take it to another angle. For those that says it worth it,

How long should one persevere when the marriage is not working (not referring to physical assault)?
To what length should one sacrifice?

@ Chilvary,

Ride on jare

Tgirl4real:

I'm loving the thread. . .

@ Dayokanu n others of like minds,

Love is sacrificial. It takes a lot of sacrifice, patience and perseverance. Marriage is for matured people. Though it doesn't mean it won't have its challenges.

The thread is meant to be an interactive one. It's also to help those that are having challenges.

Letz take it to another angle. For those that says it worth it,

How long should one persevere when the marriage is not working (not referring to physical assault)?
To what length should one sacrifice?

So what questions for those saying its not worth it.

Cos if you are in a marriage where one spouse still have gf/bf outside, In an abusive relationship etc

I would believe its better to be single

Tgirl4real:

I'm loving the thread. . .

@ Dayokanu n others of like minds,

Love is sacrificial. It takes a lot of sacrifice, patience and perseverance. Marriage is for matured people. Though it doesn't mean it won't have its challenges.

The thread is meant to be an interactive one. It's also to help those that are having challenges.

Letz take it to another angle. For those that says it worth it,

How long should one persevere when the marriage is not working (not referring to physical assault)?
To what length should one sacrifice?

@ Chilvary,

Ride on jare

Your vows say "till death do us part" . . . well you need to persevere until one or the other is dead. That's why no one should enter marriage before serious prayer and eye shining.

you are right D. But i would go with temporary seperation when physical/psychological abuse comes in

Yes, as long as both parties married for the right reasons, not because the guy lives in Lekki, drives a Range-Rover, and can afford to buy his babe a Blackberry phone and recharge cards.

a point comes when everytin is predictable and boring. hellish

i have a theory all the guys who suffer the hell of marriage want to make sure other men don't escape so they weave this web of guilt until you comply and join their ranks. if you live in the west find one or more oyinbos impregnate them and pay your bills. live with them if necessary but marry no it is an unpleasant load.

Is uju married?

jennykadry:

Is uju married?

all na by faith.

;d

MARRIAGE IS SCARING ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO because MOST LADIES GET MARRIED 4 D FOLLOWING REASons
1, SUM1 DEY CAN PUT ALL THEIR BURDEN ON
2, sum1 2 make dem happy
u knw wat most guys dont want 2 get married because most girls only want marriage because of how it will benefit

 DEMMMMMM

Prisoners of Marriage. Freedom is priceless. I don't set my goals based on what d society or d world at large deems important. Nobody can limit me in any form in this world.

@Topic, I'm yet to understand the concept of marriage,so i'm not exactly sure if it's worth it. However,i'll love to get married, so i can have kids.

//

Nice Post as this topic is very interesting

My opinion is about this topic is:
i am a single man but i have a lot of married friends. Everyday all my married friends do is complain about their marriage. They are not actually happy and the reason they are still together is the kids. Also they are always after single girls to cheat.
So i have i ask the question why r they married?
My conclusion is that nigerian rush into marriage and find out they are not happy but they will not want to divorce cuz of the so called stigma attached to it.

//

jennykadry:

Is uju married?

Uju as in Ujujoan?O gwaghi gi?O gbago akwukwo a few months ago.

MARRIAGE-An institution where in,a man looses his Bachelors Degree and on the other hand,d womans gains her masters Degree,