Dear Taiwo, I am 28 years old, a graduate from one of the Nigeria’s federal universities. I am at a confused state and I need your help urgently.

I don’t want to disappoint my parents or disobey them, but if I give in to their wish and marry the man they want me to marry, I will be sad for ever.

Adenrele (not his real name) and I are childhood friends; we grew up together, our parents were friends long before we were born and this automatically made us friends; in fact we were like a family. I could remember very well that my siblings and I have had cause to spend some of our holidays with him and his parents.

Sometimes, he would come to our house too.

Both of us were born the same day, through Caesarean Section. But unfortunately, his mother could not concieve again ; this made Adenrele their only child.

Being an only child, one would expect that he would be pampered, but his parents did not. I really don’t know what made me like him so much, probably because he had no siblings unlike me, I have three other siblings.

We all attended the same school and we were in the same class all through. The only time we were separated was when we went to the university; despite this, we still communicated with each other and any time we came home on holidays we were inseparable.

The first time Adenrele made me realise he had more than brotherly love for me was during our final year in school. He studied Eonomics while I read Law, which automatically meant that he would go for his youth service before me. When he told me that he loved me and would want our relationship to take a new dimension, I told him I did not feel that way towards him. He said he was prepared to give me some time.

I must confess that after he told me this, I tried if I could feel anything towards him, but the feeling was just not there. When I went to the Law School and he proceeded for his youth service, I encouraged him to have a relationship, but his answer was always the same. I however made him to realise every time that I do not feel the same way about him.

After his youth service, he travelled abroad for his Masters degree, by the time he came back, I had finished my youth service and was already working. On the day of my call to bar, Adenrele’s mother called me her daughter-in-law, and I thought she was joking. I raised this issue with my mother later that night and I was shocked at her response. My mother told me that there was nothing wrong with my getting married to Adenrele. I tried to tell her that I felt nothing towards him and that I see him only as a brother. Her response further baffled me as she said I should tell my father that. I never knew they had discussed this issue before now.

My parents are the approachable type, so I discussed with my father and I was shocked to find out that he was also of that school of thought. I then asked if both of them did not consider my feelings.

My father asked if I were in any relationship, and my answer was no. If I had known, I would have said yes, but my no further encouraged them. Daddy said I would definitely grow to love him. But I didn’t share this feeling.

Few months after my discussion with my parents, I met Alfred who just arrived the country from the US, and he needed the services of our firm. I was, however, directed to handle his matter. Our relationship started on a business note and later graduated into a love affair. In fact, he was the one who deflowered me.

He proposed marriage to me before going back to the US and he has since been responsible for my upkeep and everything. I took him to meet with my parents before he left, but I did not like the reception they gave him. He was not really bothered by it because I had intimated him with what was happening.

He advised that I should take it easy with them, that they would eventually come to terms with him if they saw that we are both serious.

I expected that after telling Adenrele about Alfred, he would come to terms with my refusal to date him and look for his own woman, but I was wrong. He kept looking for me.

My problem now is that, Alfred will be coming back in December and he wants us to get married so that I could go back with him. I don’t know how to convince my
parents. Any time I raise his issue, my parents do not want to hear about it.

It is certain that I do not love Adenrele and I can never love him. I have tried to ask my parents the reason why they insisted that I should marry him they have not been able to give me a concrete reason. I have never disobeyed them, but I am afraid it will happen now.

Kindly help me, what can I do? How can I handle this situation?

Sorry I'm allergic to long post. . Someone please summarize

All the same

REALITY101:

Sorry I'm allergic to long post. . Someone please summarize

Too many long winded writers.  Just get to the point and stfu.

Brief summary:

Lost her virginity to American boy, Alfred

Parents want her to marry Aderele

Erm, what if American boy doesn't come back to marry her, what will she do ?

Mrs, Chima:

Too many long winded writers.  Just get to the point and stfu.  

Maybe my pen1s in your mouth will shut u up. . what do u think?

hope Reality isnt the American guy that disvirgined the babe

Sorry Toba I don't like virgin chicks

omg dont tell me u havent touched one raw before

What's d long story for? Just go ahead and marry the one u don't love! Don't let this love thing get into ur head. Love my ass.