Why not try harder with your convictions. As a lady, try as much as possible to win your man's brothers and sisters especially the married ones (if there is any) to your side. Funny enough, you both share the same faith- Anglican! So what are waiting for? Report the issue to your Pastor/Priest. If after all this nothing good seems to come forth. . Then I'll advise you to GO AHEAD WITH YOUR WEDDING PLANS and assume you don't have Parent. .He should do same. What would both of you have done if there is no surviving Parent as at the time you needed them most?

Ileke-IdI:

You really remind me of someone. Creepy.

anywaz, I'm not here for you. I'm here for all the tribalist, when they come out to roost, let me know.

What creepy things u dey talk na? I am as clean as a whistle.

Relax, dude whatever.

Fimisile jor.

You sound like ezeUche which is kinda lame. All you ppl with multiple IDs sha.

EzeUche ke? haba na wa o. I be UcheEze.
Odaro.

@OP

Your happiness is at stake because you chose to hang it on a stake.
What the hell happened to your fundamental human right to self determination? Abi your parents still dey flog you with cane?
man or woman up jare, all these sob stories make me wanna puke.

pity the poor girl who aired her problem(s) on nairaland. . .

I understand ur concern, but if u were a yorobo girl, u no for ask this question, na belly u for carry!

But as a well nurtured Onye-Igbo, u guz shld still try to reach a compromise wt both parents esp if their reasons are just sentimental, if it doesn't work u move on.

But wait a second, were u secretly in love all these years?

Dear friend,
as you can see above ,your true friends have adviced you.you are a lady,by the time you are 45,50 yrs you will be past your prime beauty wise,that man could have gotten his third wife and you cant do much about it,even at 90 yrs ,a man can still add more wives to his harem.
you ibo girls should learn to appreciate your ibo brothers who stay committed to their one wife.a great majority of these yoruba---ibo marriage ends in separation/divorce and the yoruba man easily moves on to his yoruba tribe girls while the ibo girl becomes like some dirty ,contaminated items to ibo guys once they learn of her past relationship life,she finds it hard to atract suitors at this point and becomes a single mother,suffering in silence and find it hard to meet her parents for advice/assistance because they likely warned her against the union.

a typical example is the crashed marriage of monalisa chinda to a yoruba guy.after the crash of this marriage,the yoruba guy got a yoruba wife in a very short time.the actress is now a single mom,mind you the marriage crashed because of infidelity on the part of her yoruba ex -husband.the yorubas simply dont place that high moral respect and value to marriage as much as the ibo do.so end the relationship and move on.



i like this post,but there's a wee bit of flaws in it.NO TRIBE IS INNOCENT OF INFIDELITY,IBO-IBO MARRIAGE TOO GO DOWN THE DRAIN SOMETIMES.WHO TOLD YOU A LADY OF 45 HAS PASSED HER PRIME??,avn't you seen some mammy @ 50 that her sexy and better than all these small chicks 'em,it depends on what works for you.Though,somethings are rampant in one tribe than the other.

I believe folks from the same tribe get along well,personality is key though.YES YES and YES,the yorubas simply dont place that high moral respect and value to marriage as much as the ibo.WORD!!.I'm an ijebu man,i've been with ibo and yoruba chicks,if you give a yoruba gal small education na wahala.Just like the slowpoke from ekiti,ILEKE IDI wey no fit marry yoruba man.YES YES and YES,from what i've seen and from what i've learnt from various environments i've passed through,i prefer ibo gurls and TRIBE is not suppose to be an issue,its just PERSONALITY.

if ur love is genuine, then their is no cause for alarm. keep loving urself and keep waiting on god for his divine intervention.

And Ileke-Ide have Kids, God help us all, somebody say Amen to that

Old same story everyday. @Op b4 my coment, which tribe is (Ibo) in Nigria? because i only knw Igbo tribe.
Do u now see why u ll not atracted to Igbo guys

@ POSTER

Be wise, be very wise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your/his tribe is immaterial. Even if you are Mongolian and he is from the Hottentot tribe, so what?

Four questions you need to ask your self are:

Do you really love each other?

Are you willing to fight for the love you profess?

Are you going to live with each others parents or with each other?

Will marriage to the boy/girl next-door from your village guarantee a successful relationship?

At the end of the day, the decision is yours; but if I were you I'd respectfully agree to disagree with the parents. Just play it wise, "Mummy/Daddy we are getting married on X date, we know you disapprove but we still need your blessing which we really value etc"

After the marriage be very wise. Make sure that at every opportunity you leave no room for criticism, you should be the first to send presents/greeting cards to your parent-in-laws at birthdays, Christmas etc. If any of your parent-in-laws fall ill, you should be the first person to visit them in hospital and go there on a daily basis to support them/show that you love/care for them etc. My friend, just use love to overcome all these obstacles and don't get involved in any controversy.

To find true love is not easy, if you eventually decide to please your parents and things start to go wrong, then who do you blame? At the end of the day, these same parents will only "advise" you whilst you have to face the consequences all alone.

I know of two cases personally, the first one is a very close friend who has been happily married for over 10 years with 2 beautiful kids. When she wanted to get married; it was the same scenario like you, she was told so many negative stories about the other tribe. The parents threatened hell and brimstone but she followed her heart and the rest is history. Unfortunately, her senior sister married a chap from the same village who treats her like dirt. He pulls all the usual antics of an irresponsible man, drinks all day, only interested in watching football, doesn't support the family financially although they live under the same roof and have 3 kids. The sister is trapped in a loveless marriage and was one of the people advising her kid sister not to marry the guy she loved just because of his tribe!! The parents eventually saw reason and even prefer to stay with my friend whenever they are in town because their home is cosy and peaceful.

My own sister faced this same kind of irrational bias but on a more ridiculous level. They are both of the same tribe but different states. His parents were totally against it because they wanted him to marry someone from their home town. At the end of the day, my sister and her husband decided to follow their hearts. Only my parents attended the wedding. They are still happily married 11 years later with 3 lovely kids. His parents even visit spradically and seem to have accepted the situation but even if they don't, is it a crime to marry and live happily with the person you love??

Let your parents live their lives and allow you to live yours!!!!!!

my dear listen to ur parents

Quote from: decode55 on Yesterday
at 09:28:21 PM abegi! leave the dirty scum joor,
follow your parents' advice o, d way
some of you behave annoys me @
times. now all these yoruba go.ats will
start feeling as if they're important, mtcheeeeeeeew

Before nko?
See as Igbo boys dey vex for this thread sha.

Yoruba men beware o I wonder how some ppl knew Yoruba
men were not circumcised. Even I
didnt know. Is your name Uche?

Quote from: Andre Uweh on
Yesterday at 10:04:01 PM U no get shame. Anyway, the Igbo
women I know who married Yoruba
men are the rejected ones. They are
not attractive enough for fellow Igbos,
secondly, they are badly brought up
that suitors don't near them, thirdly, they were hawks and has had so
many stories of abortion upon
abortion or have dropped two at home out of wedlock. Most sane Igbo women I
know married Igbo
dudes. Anyway,
goodluck to those
failures as some tribes
likes Igbo rejects.

As you can see, you're now an Igbo reject. Oh dear. Talk about Osu system.

This is beginning to look like Chinese
men's vexation at black men for
stealing their women o.

Sho! I never hear that one o. Dem dey vex? That's serious o. Maybe it's because the Asians are mostly 1-inchers while you can get as much as 12-inchers among blacks

Quote from: Andre Uweh on
Yesterday at 10:17:44 PM I don't know, probably she has gone back toher native Kwara state to search for awife. Or May be he is looking for another Igbo girl to
deceive.

The good thing about telling the truth
is that you'll never have to remember
what you've said.

Quote from: airmark on Yesterday
at 10:30:50 PM @ Andrewuweh , so Taju is a lady- loving-lady . To hell with Taju.

It won't suprise me dude. Na so
Andreuweh told us fictitious Taju's
story on page 1. You also have come with yours. What's your gf name.
Taja?

I'm so loving this. Seriously, the worst I can do is change my country of domicile. But I'll never change my nationality. I love Nigerians.

The rate of tribalism in Nigeria is annoying(nairaland is a prove) yet we blame others for raciest this lady can go to UK get married come back home with her hoby and the parent will not raise their eyebrow that is tribalism


@OP as far as you are on this shore you need to listen to your parents cus if you get married with time when the love is no longer there the issue will surely arise and if any misfortune should happen to him you will be blame for it and you will not have a place or support to fall back to



for those who think any  Yoruba that maries to Igbo woman will still get married to a Yoruba woman that is not true(depends on the man) a well educated and enlightened Yoruba/igbo man will not think that way but what I think you don’t know is people sometimes have extramarital affair that is not suppose to lead to marriage but sometimes lead to having children in this case the woman is dependent on the man to take responsibilities if the girlfriend is from the same tribe as the man it is considered to be married(depends on the woman) which is not suppose to be so but if it’s not it’s just a single mum that is still tribalism

Some people have spoken and some have watched the story going on and on,but if you are honest to yourself,listen to your parents please,it has a way of coming back to you ooohhhhh.You will become a parent tomorrow and will you make the same decisions concerning you children?
Please Children which we are,listen to your parents.

My Advice for you;

.Stay Righteous(keep your body)

.Seek the face of God in this(pray and think well(tru Bible).

.Listen to your parents advice(if they are geniune christians)they have seen far more than you.
.Tribe should not be a barrier to your happiness in marriage.

.my COUSIN(YORUBA) GOT MARRIED TO ANAMBRA .BLESSED WITH KIDS N LIVING HAPPILY.
.i got married with another tribe blessed with twins and i do not regret it.she is more faithfull more than i do.

MARRIAGE IS SACRED AND GOD RESPECT MARRIAGE-ASK GOD N HE WILL DIRECT YOU EITHER TO CONTINUE OR LOOK FOR ANOTHER MAN

All you tribalists should just shut the Bleep up. Gosh!!! What is wrong with falling in love and marrying from other tribes? And by the way, not all Yoruba men marry multiple wives.

Must you marry yoruba ? Abeg go find those dirty ibos in alaba to marry.

Its very funny how we talk about Nigeria and still be taking sides to a delicate issue has marriage.
Are U̶̲̥̅̊ τ̣̣ђё ibo counterparts aganist τ̲̅ђis union saying if her soul mate from heaven is yoruba she shouldn't marry him?
I get confused when you use tribe to determine a man's behaviour i̶̲̥̅̊n τ̲̅ђis prime, τ̣̣ђё upbringing of a Man has alot to do with his future Πȍτ τ̣̣ђё tribe.
There are loads of Ibo men that cheat on their wives and ve prominent positions i̶̲̥̅̊n church, what's τ̣̣ђё difference if one cheats regularly with another woman than marrying another wife.
I A̶̲̥̅♏  against a marriage without family supporting it.
Τ̣̣ђё effects could be τ̣̣ђё major cause i̶̲̥̅̊n ending τ̣̣ђё marriage,
I would advise U̶̲̥̅̊ seek counsel from τ̣̣ђё church first get them involved i̶̲̥̅̊n τ̲̅ђis let them visit both sides,
Seek out family members on each sides that are open to ΰя union and are respected within each family tree,S̤̥̈̊o̲̣̥ †̥ђεy can speak on ΰя behalf to ΰя parents and his too.
Finally show ΰя parents how much you ♥ each other and are willing to stick to each other, if none of these work i would ask you to back out of it except you really ♥ and want τ̲̅ђis man then i would say go ahead bearing i̶̲̥̅̊n mind that after marriage, both of you would still work at bringing both sides to reconcile and accept you guys has a couple. I wish you τ̣̣ђё best i̶̲̥̅̊n your endeavours  
One guy is very funny with his opinion on yorubas and his advice for τ̣̣ђё girl here to stick to τ̣̣ђё ibo men rather than τ̣̣ђё yoruba dude cant remember his name harew i guess saying one taju wanted to marry an ibo girl and he went against it and now she is happily married to an ibo man, how can U̶̲̥̅̊ tell if a woman is happily married? Do U̶̲̥̅̊ live i̶̲̥̅̊n their home or do U̶̲̥̅̊ share doors with em. Please dont be decieved by fake smiles ibo wives carry,she could be enduring τ̣̣ђё marriage.
I believe i̶̲̥̅̊n true ♥ and she said τ̣̣ђё guy has proven it more than τ̣̣ђё ibo blokes she met.
Tribe has nothing to do with τ̣̣ђё success of a marriage and it has never been, τ̣̣ђё bond two individuals(compatibility,trust,upbringing,values and moral) share and τ̣̣ђё ♥ †̥ђεy build with God is what keeps them together.
M̶̲̥̅γ kobo.

Too bad for the poster, the CORE and CURSED tribalists of Nigeria will ensure her hitherto budding love and marital future is RUINED - just like their own life and that of their fathers was RUINED by the curse of TRIBALISM. That may seem a very harsh way to say it but it is the TRUTH. The bigots cannot stand any kind of human progress as they are stuck on stupid tribal and racial identity while they remain permanent failures. Well, I still do love many of my friends from different tribes in Nigeria and I have dated from the SE, SS, NC, SW extensively. My chicks love me die and this only breaks the heart of racists and tribalists! Your tribalism makes you a permanent loser as you will never see beyond your dirty soul!!

CyberG:

Too bad for the poster, the CORE and CURSED tribalists of Nigeria will ensure her hitherto budding love and marital future is RUINED - just like their own life and that of their fathers was RUINED by the curse of TRIBALISM. That may seem a very harsh way to say it but it is the TRUTH. The bigots cannot stand any kind of human progress as they are stuck on silly tribal and racial identity while they remain permanent failures. Well, I still do love many of my friends from different tribes in Nigeria and I have dated from the SE, SS, NC, SW extensively. My chicks love me die and this only breaks the heart of racists and tribalists! Your tribalism makes you a permanent loser as you will never see beyond your dirty soul!!

Seems you are not married.Dating is diff from Marriage,I mean till death.Decisions for dating is far different from that of marriage.Raising kids is diff from making love/having sex.Children recognizing their heritage is diff from my GF's sister/brother.

Amazing to me that ya'll go to the same church but your parents still have this attitude.

If it were me, I'd almost threaten to expose my parent's bigotry to the church authorities (though for me personally, while my parents would prefer if I marry Yoruba they aren't obsessed about it.)

After all, wouldn't your parents be ashamed to admit their beliefs to the pastor?

This is so silly.  Can’t you see this is a made up story from the OP?  What Igbo girl or boy uses the word Ibo rather than Igbo?  
We all know the amount of Igbo women that marry out are limited and we all know the amount of Nigerian parents that deny their children's happiness are limited.
This is just someone trying to uplift their own  yo ego.  Hook, line and sinker and the ethnic bigotry began.

Andre
nwoke jiri ya nwanyo. umu nwanyi Igbo na acho anyi.  so so eba ka ha n'ebe maka ndi obodo ozo.

I only read the first page and decided to reply without reading post that are either borne out of needless ethnic bigotry. I am married to an igbo woman and I'm a yobura person but I consider myself a Nigerian and also a world citizen. Prior to my NYSC, I had been conditioned to believing every other tribe save mine have problems only to discover that we are all just deceiving ourselves: we all have issues peculiar to us all either because of our beliefs or our environment. Truly, there are culture barriers that can be broken if only we can love each other like God asks to.

My wife is armed with two stories that are factual and she knows the characters that defied their parents to carry on with the multi-cultural nuptial. They are happy and thankful to God now and even all parties have "reconciled". I'm not saying go against your parents, but let them see that the reason God created us differently is to add flavour to our lives and spice it up. Also, to see how well we receive each other. We were all created by God to mingle and not to turn ourselves to gods and subjects.

Even before letting our respective parents know, we prayed and to God be the glory, there were no problems. Yes there were concerns and fears as to cultural differences but all were allayed as everyone wanted it to work. We have two beautiful children and are happy.

Nigeria may have been forced on us but God allowed it for a reason!!!

One_Naira:

This is so silly. Can’t you see this is a made up story from the OP? What Igbo girl or boy uses the word Ibo rather than Igbo?
We all know the amount of Igbo women that marry out are limited and we all know the amount of Nigerian parents that deny their children's happiness are limited.
This is just someone trying to uplift their own yo ego. Hook, line and sinker and the ethnic bigotry began.

Andre
nwoke jiri ya nwanyo. umu nwanyi Igbo na acho anyi. so so eba ka ha n'ebe maka ndi obodo ozo.

Why would you communicate in a language alien to some on the forum? That's kinda rude, in a public forum no matter how sincere you mean to be. Someone just quoted that in the forum as his reason for hatred of an opposite tribe - ", using a language you don't understand to communicate with their families not caring if you're not carried along" according to that comment. Your action with Andre - a Nazi tribalist, - just underscores that observation. I'm Yoruba, however I can make out some meanings from what you said. I happen to train myself some in Igbo when I hung with an Igbo lady.

One of the ten commandments says, Honor ur father and mother so u can have a fulfilled future. From ur post both parents say no! His parents and urs. Do u want to go into a family where the grooms family hates u? By the time u marry him, u will start seeing life from another angle. Beware of that thing u call love! The guy is not as worried as u. Who do u run to when the marriage turns soar? The parents u disrespected or God whose commandment u refuted? Mind u, we are not Ibo we are Igbo! You sound more like a yoruba, because u said u are Ibo. And u repeated it more than twice! Make sure u travel home often. Think twice. I was once in ur shoes and it nearly ruined my life if not God. Mine was even seven to eight years.

One of the ten commandments says, Honor ur father and mother so u can have a fulfilled future. From ur post both parents say no! His parents and urs. Do u want to go into a family where the grooms family hates u? By the time u marry him, u will start seeing life from another angle. Beware of that thing u call love! The guy is not as worried as u. Who do u run to when the marriage turns soar? The parents u disrespected or God whose commandment u refuted? Mind u, we are not Ibo we are Igbo! You sound more like a yoruba, because u said u are Ibo. And u repeated it more than twice! Make sure u travel home often. Think twice. I was once in ur shoes and it nearly ruined my life if not God.

Also experiencing this but poster one thing u should look at. . . . Shud u listen to ur parents, marry one average guy from ur tribe that u mite never enjoy being married to, so u just manage thru the marriage (cos in the end u wud always tell urself he was not ur first choice which wud result in infidelity) or u marry ur guy and know that u mite likely enjoy it but if shit hits the fan u wud have to go n reconcile wiv ur parents (which the parents always accept in the end). . . .

So if ur parents no dey gree, let him impregnate u. . .

I myt sound harsh but I honestly feel some parents do not know their duty

My sister my advise is very short   [size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt][size=8pt] LOOK FOR YOUR OWN KIND![/size][/size][/size][/size]

This yoruba people will disappoint you at your point of need! Right form pre independence Nigeria through Biafra war till date they have been know be fair wheather friends and non-dependable. Take this from me; I've been there. I was engaged to one 2 years ago untill I found out that she was going to babalawo with her mother and was bleeping my best friend (also yoruba). Lear from history. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

^^^^ A tribalistic fool

She is talking about one, not the whole tribe . . . n yoruba guys r diff from girls