My ex and I broke up 9 months ago, and since then we have never spoken to each other, I just get a call from him, he's asking to have lunch and a talk with me. The thing is that we do not live in same town, which means he has to come all the way for it.

I'm in a sweet relationship now which I'm not planning to leave no matter what. Should I let him make the trip, because I really want to know what he has to say?

Maybe he want a restart.

Curiosity, is like a bait. Remember that woman, She kept looking and the fruit became desirous in her eyes and then she went eating and gave some to her husband. So dont fail the bait test. If you know you are trully serious with your new relationship then dont encourage this visit, otherwise you are on your own.

@topic

_{how desperately Hot are you?}

Because the guy already figured you out so he can call you anytime to deliver the "goodies"!!!

@poster

it sounds like you still have some sort of feelings for him. which is not really a bad thing

But you need to question yourself, what is more important to you? your past or your present?

Your Ex, whether what he has to say is positive of negative depending on the way you see it, will shake up your life. Are you ready for that?

Are you also going to tell your present lover? If your answer if no, why? (answer yourself honestly)

Nobody owns you. Its your choice. But be aware that the choices that you make never only have an effect on you. it spills ova on to others.

It also may be a good idea to meet up to end things  _{but after 9 months i am a little bit worried about your strength in facing him}

@babelove

No i'm not at all,
 
our relationship wasn't based on SEX!

@poster: what's in d past stays in d past, simple. wht does he wanna say dat be done on d fone or via mail? i think ur ex is geared up 4 a comeback anmd it can be dicey.

NaJa HaJa
 
i would have love to tell him but u know how guys can be sometimes.

What i have now is all that matters to me, not what i had in the past,

But with the way the broke up was, i just can't help but wonder what  he wants.

i can face him, that's not a problem!

neva say neva.

2dye4

He doesn't want the talk on the Phone!

A comeback

well i don't think that's going to happen.

If that's what he wants, i can't wait to laugh

Hey Gal!!!!
            Watch it!!!!
                         Dat Nigger is coming 2 crack that NUT!!!
                                                                        Left in the cold like that?
                                                                    What does he want to say that he can`t say o n phone etc.
                     He knows u are vulnerable.
                                                        Take it or leave it, d Guy will surely crack dat NUT!!!!
                Except u avoid him or give him excuses that u are travelling.
                                     Ciao!!!!

K750i

  U r really not it at all, this is not one of those post that needs such reply pls.

u need to get it that SEX is not all it is in a relationship that almost got to marriage ok,

Sex can be gotten anywhere, so i don't need him to come all the way just to have sex and he knows that

i will say this again,Everyone pls! Our relationship was not based on SEX!

You said you’re in sweet relationship and I suppose you really love this new partner of yours. So what I would suggest is that you call that your ex and tell him to spilt out what’s on his mind.

It may be he wants to get back to you as you said; and I think you should give his appointment a second thought; it’s for your own good.

BABEELOVE:

@topic

_{how desperately Hot are you?}

Because the guy already figured you out so he can call you anytime to deliver the "goodies"!!!

hehehehe

The question had to be asked na

I think its very childish when someone is in serious need for a good advice, depends her problem in your hands, and all we can come up with is stupid jokes, its saddening.

The game section isnt far from here, if you don't have something useful and helpful to contribute, take a ride there and amuse yourself!!

@ topic

I agree with crazykid, if you don't want to re-unite with him, and you're very happy where you are . . .though we're not evven so sure of what he has to say, i suggest you call him up and request you guys settle it over the phone.

And if he insists to meet with you in person, you could oblige. Tell your new boyfriend about it, and with all security that you love this new boyfriend too much, go for the meet-up.

Give him your honest answer to whatever it is he wants to talk about, if he ends up dissappointed, well too bad . . in games of love and war, one party must end up hurt . . he decided to come over, so he should definitely expect two sides to the possible outcome to his intention.

But remember, we don't even know what he wants to discuss

kai

I receive a none too cute reprimand from cute ass.

Ok I guess it was childish of me. So here is my own two cents

@topic

If you are so eager to hear what he has to say
then I would assume your eagerness is fueled by some
subterranean feelings.

I would advice you to run like hell
His boldness prolly indicates he feels he
has a hold on you and can call anytime
and you go answer

So now is the time to say no.

If he has anything serious to say
he will keep trying to see you

After the 30th try. . .

How do you know he's asking you to meet up with him so you two can get back together?
What if he's in need of something and you're the only one he can turn to?
There's no harm in hearing what he has to say for himself. It might not be what you think and even if it ends up being that, you can tell him how flattered you are but you're in a ''sweet relationship'' like you just told us.

Jus to Talk---Y r U guyz reading meaning in2 it---He jus wantd 2 talk. That is what she said.

Let us wait & see what the outcome wld b b4 jumpin in2 conclusions!

There is nothing wrong with having a talk with your ex but having it over lunch is kind of too friendly. If you oblige him ensure your present man is aware of the meeting.

Dont go!!!!!!!!!! let him tell you all he has to say on phone

hi pinktea,
lets get serious here, am a guy. what i see here is this :your ex needs you back, probably couldn't get a better replacement. let me advice you, if you must see him be with your present guy and introduce your present guy to him i bet you for life he will never call you again ,rather he becomes stronger to move ahead knowing you are no longer available for him, if you go see him chances are that " OLD FIRE WOOD MUST CATCH FIRE", .
are you enjoying your present relationship now? if your previous seems better then most certainly you are in for someting: to CHEAT on both of them because you cannot explain to the present that your ex has stolen your heart again, and you will tell your ex that your present is just  a toaster, that both of you never actually got serious. if sincerely you are having fun where you are now its basically NEEDLESS to see him,
ALTERNATIVE  (2) this is cheaper:why not find out what he wants to discourse with you on phone if it cannot be said on phone politely tell him its not important, that he should have a lovely day, that you are very busy now, while speaking with him tell him your boyfriend is trying to reach you, that you will call back immediately. POINT OF CAUTION: DON'T EVER CALL BACK, i bet you that LUNCH is over.

GREAT DAY TO YOU.

My dear girl,
I've  been in exactly this position, so I know
What else would your ex want to talk to you about?? He believes he has a hold on you and is still banking on the fact that u have some residual feelings for him.
Do yourself a favor and ask him to talk via phone. What is new anyway??
If he says no, then call him and tell him you would have to ask your new boyfriend if that is ok by him and that you'll get back to him. If he backs off then, fine. If not, then make sure u actually tell your new guy about it. If he is ok with it, then good.
If he says no, then the answer is NO.
You'll be better off, trust me

If your new relationship is as good as you say, then I think you should forget about the other guy and don't let him make the trip. You know guys, always coming to apologise after f**king up earlier. If you don't want any ideas being put in your head disallow any contact. My meagre advice is probably late. what, with all these replies and all but in the off-chance that you'll read this, please heed! Except of course, you like him.

Baby, just be curious, let him make the ride ok, and then the L-u-n-c-h he might be lucky, considering the circumstances  or  the reason for the seperation. The devil you know is better than the angel you don't know, who might turn out to be the"blackest of all the devils".
So give him a chance baby but just be careful, you might be breaking someone's heart in the process.

pink tea are you bored? cos ur post is a no brainer.

Pinkttea,

I see the classic female mistake here. In three of your posts you mention what he wants.
How about you? Your want should be the most important to you in this case - what do you want?

You had a bad break up, _{yes, I know it must have been bad since you guys have not spoken in 9 months} YET:

[list]
[li]He wants to talk in person over lunch not on the phone[/li]
[li]He wants to meet you[/li]
[li]"But with the way the break up was, i just can't help but wonder what he wants." _{- you said}[/li]
[/list]

You say that what you have now matters more to you than rekindling what you had, so my 2 cents is to forget what he wants and start focusing on what you want OR don't want to happen to what you have right now. Good luck

@poster, hold on to the one you have at hand. just ask the other guy to come but be very careful on that lunch thing, and please dont get pushed to having sex with him, make him no give you Hiv, who knows is plan please do stick to your man. dont cheat on him with no one.

i strongly advice u dont meet up with him babes really, watever was dead could awaken all of a sudden{not that u`ld intentionally let that happen}
it`ld just happennnnnnnn,

so babes stay happy where u r n let the past be, the best u can do is talk via phone!!!!!

@pinkttea
whats all these
he said he wants to see you. People are making it sound like you people are sworn enemies already.
He didnt say you should come, he said he will come and see you from another town.

U must see him. Thats my own. He needs your advice and help to move on and surely you dont discuss such on the fone

I SUGGEST YOU MEET HIM UP FOR THE LUNCH.THERE IS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM.THIS IS A GUY PERHAPS YOU HAVE MOVED OUT FOR A PERIOD OF TIME,SO YOU KNOW TOO WELL FOR ANY ONES COMFORT.HE MIGHT HAVE A GOOD NEWS FOR YOU DOWN HIS SLEEVES.SO GIVE IT A TRIAL [i][/i]

esplendido:

My dear girl,
I've  been in exactly this position, so I know
What else would your ex want to talk to you about?? He believes he has a hold on you and is still banking on the fact that u have some residual feelings for him.
Do yourself a favor and ask him to talk via phone. What is new anyway??
If he says no, then call him and tell him you would have to ask your new boyfriend if that is ok by him and that you'll get back to him. If he backs off then, fine. If not, then make sure u actually tell your new guy about it. If he is ok with it, then good.
If he says no, then the answer is NO.
You'll be better off, trust me

Very wrong!! Two similar situations don't necessarily have to have same ending So until he spits out what he has to say, nobody could know, we can only assume!

I really don't think she should pretend she knows what he wants to discuss . . Cos there's that slightest chance that what we're all thinking aint what the dude has in mind.