Godmind2022:




Build her up emotionally, mentally, intellectually, physically with love, respect, openness and tete-a-tete (heart to heart loving discussions). Take her to gym with you, to church with you, to social meetings with you, introduce her with joy to your clients and female friends. Let her have unlimited access to your phone and phone conversations.

Then, you and she should make God number 1, in your life.

This is the reason I dissuade men from seeking relationship with partners that have nothing going on for them. A wife or husband should be able to have a life outside of their marriage. You should have friends, hobbies and interests that don't necessarily intersect with that of your partner. When you have someone that you always have to be on the phone with or demands to physically be with you all the time, then there's a problem somewhere.

KingLennon:

This is a death sentence

u don't get it...this is a norm in a childless marriage...or a brand new marriage...u see the wife complain

1. about husband not coming back home on time

2. not taking her out with him

3. hanging out too much with friends

4. not eating much at home

5. not talking much to her at home

6. always on chat

7. talking to other ladies nd sh is jealous

8. being so lonely

9. not doing enough in bed..

its Normal..as OP, its a new marriage or a childless one

but when sh is busy with a baby and job, trying to balance both...sh wo t even remember u again...u wi b the one begging for her attention

Deal with it before it gets out of hand.

Wakatumbit:


She has access to all my phones, my laptop, even my mobile app. I don't hide anything from her, I'm very open. I've never been this open to someone else in my life. Sometimes it makes me feel vulnerable but I have to do it cus she's my wife. But the insecurities are still there. I've spoken to her about it before and now I've decided to just let things play out

Carry her along in every little thing you do.
Exhaust her with attention sotaaaaaaaaaaay she'll be running away from you. 😩
Do it delibrately.

If you don't mind me asking; do you both have a child/children yet?

Insecurity doesn't make her a bad wife. So work it out to win her trust.

But you sounded like someone who if given a chance would cheat.

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

Seems you have skeleton in your cupboard. Change your ways, and your wife will learn to trust you

eazzzy1:
It is your duty to make your partner secure. If she doesn’t want you to go out, insist on her coming with you. When you receive calls from female clients put your phone on speaker and keep the call short and straight to business.

Give her access to your phone and the right to go through it whenever she wants. Let her be able to answer your calls if you aren’t willing or available to answer. She is suspecting you because you have given her a reason to and only you can give her a reason to trust you.

In my opinion, getting angry over a partner’s insecurity is usually proof of guilt. If you were innocent her insecurity will be cute to you.

The only response that makes sense!

This level of insecurity is an indication of childhood trauma. This creates a sense of fear and low esteem.
She could have experienced being abandoned and uncared for in childhood so her mind is replaying this scenario unconsciously. Some other adverse childhood experiences could also be responsible.

This is not an emotion either if you can deal with on your own, it is advisable you contact a therapist. There will be the need to explore her upbringing to establish at what point this emotion developed. Then she will be guided on how to resolve the issues.

If you need any form of guidance on this, feel free to send me a mail

achinu:


It's nobody's responsibility to make anyone secure. If you are insecure about yourself, no amount of assurance and validation from your partner will suffice

Your stance will get no one anywhere in a relationship. Reality is far different from what's playing in your head.

Your girl has a lot of male friends and often hangs around with them a little too much. You talk, they say it's insecurity. Your man is always on the phone all the time - a quick glance and you realize it's always a female. If you talk they say it's insecurity.

Until you realize that all your dealings must be an open book in a serious relationship and must not rub off negatively on your partner, and if it does it's your duty to reassure them, you'd better stay single.

Sonnobax15:

You saw the red flags of her insecurity staring at you during your years of courtship with her but you neglected it and went ahead to wife her........

Now,your fowl don lay cooked eggs and you come dey cry

Well,I don't know how to advise you but what I do know very well is that an insecured wife is equivalent to a snake

Be careful..

Why are you talk nonsense, did you know if they date or even do courtship? Stop blaming people whenever they complain , advice them or shut up

Divorce her and go Bleep her best friend without a condom.

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

You have given her reasons to doubt your loyalty and trust. She can't just decide to be suspicious.

jetson06:
Divorce her and go Bleep her best friend without a condom.

Small boy. Shake your empty head let me hear something.

eazzzy1:
It is your duty to make your partner secure. If she doesn’t want you to go out, insist on her coming with you. When you receive calls from female clients put your phone on speaker and keep the call short and straight to business.

Give her access to your phone and the right to go through it whenever she wants. Let her be able to answer your calls if you aren’t willing or available to answer. She is suspecting you because you have given her a reason to and only you can give her a reason to trust you.

In my opinion, getting angry over a partner’s insecurity is usually proof of guilt. If you were innocent her insecurity will be cute to you.

You're very mature with your reply.

Antoeni:
Ladies Please interpret this picture.
Guys What do you think

Interpret it yourself.

Breakup

Wrong thread.

KanuSE:


It's important to note that the behaviour/attitude of your spouse can unsettle you, as such, brings insecurity. The burden is on the couple to always reassure each other by showing care, love and respect.

As far as marriage/relationship is concerned, both need each other to function properly.

I totally agree with this, no arguments ...

From my understanding of the OP's post, it doesn't seem like his actions is the major cause of her insecurities ...

It seems like the insecurities are already there from the onset, which makes it a her problem - that is fast becoming a them problem (sighs) ...

But like you said, reassurance would work, I pray for a God like patience to come upon the OP in this trying times ...

Cause believe me when I tell you that it's really frustrating when you're actually innocent and yet all your actions continually raises eye brows ...

FRIYOPATRICK:
My Ex was insecure in every move I made... I have never cheated on her but to my greatest surprise, she was the one cheating on me... It's really unbelievable.... She might believe you are doing the same thing, she is doing.. Mark my word.... Spy on her and thank me later.. that's if your hands are clean and you have never given her any reason to be insecure..

I'm surprised this is the only comment on projection thus far. As soon as I read OP's comment I just had a strong assumption that she may be cheating, and that paranoia is manifesting as a result.

eazzzy1:
It is your duty to make your partner secure. If she doesn’t want you to go out, insist on her coming with you. When you receive calls from female clients put your phone on speaker and keep the call short and straight to business.

Give her access to your phone and the right to go through it whenever she wants. Let her be able to answer your calls if you aren’t willing or available to answer. She is suspecting you because you have given her a reason to and only you can give her a reason to trust you.

In my opinion, getting angry over a partner’s insecurity is usually proof of guilt. If you were innocent her insecurity will be cute to you.

The last paragraph makes zero sense

But did you see these red flags before you married her .. yea or no .. so your answer will probably be yes .. the deed is done .. what is the next step to a solution ..

Sit her down .. and ask her madam why u dey always suspect me .. how was your past relationships, how was your upbringing, see all these her behaviour is tied to something she grew up with .. a trigger .. you have to find out what it is .. so you can be able to manage it .. but you are not leaving that marriage oo .. mba nu 😅

You sef what behavioural pattern are you exhibiting that is making her suspect you .. check that too if any .. cant be blaming her if you sef may have small fault

Miyachi:


This is an unhealthy opinion.
It is not clear that OP has made his wife doubt his fidelity in any way.
He doesn't have control over his wife's mind and I feel her insecurities probably stem from issues unrelated to the OP. It would be wrong to blame him for that.
At best OP should seek professional help through counselling for his wife or jointly through a couple therapy.

I thought I was the only person who saw that opinion as unhealthy ...

If it was a case where the man has cheated before, then it's understandable why she would act this way - infact I would be very surprised if she didn't act this way ...

But it's not clear if he has cheated...
From what he says, she has access to everything accessible (phone, laptop, mails, chats, aza)...

So if she still feels insecure after all that, then I can't say it has anything to do with the OP, I can infer that the OP's wife has issues that requires a therapist ...

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

No way you would say you didn’t see the 🚩. You probably thought uncontrolled jealousy is love. And people who can’t control jealousy are not stable. They day you eventually cheat just make sure u hv a will

9 times out of 10 when a woman is overly insecure is because she also has too many skeletons in her cupboard. Na evil people dey dey fear evil pass. Cos they always think someone is going to do to them what they have been doing.

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

Projecting insecurity on our partner can drive them crazy, especially for those ones that wont talk and be keeping malice. You sound like a peace-lover, otherwise i for tell u make break the table and tell her you are not in for that kind of childish attitude, that u cannot be miserable in your house and u will rather live in peace alone than walk on egg shells around her. Its a dirty attitude. The more you tolerate her or keep begging her for doing nothing wrong, the more emboldened she will become to keep manipulating you with that repulsive attitude. Decide for yourself what is important for you and do it

eazzzy1:
It is your duty to make your partner secure. If she doesn’t want you to go out, insist on her coming with you. When you receive calls from female clients put your phone on speaker and keep the call short and straight to business.

Give her access to your phone and the right to go through it whenever she wants. Let her be able to answer your calls if you aren’t willing or available to answer. She is suspecting you because you have given her a reason to and only you can give her a reason to trust you.

In my opinion, getting angry over a partner’s insecurity is usually proof of guilt. If you were innocent her insecurity will be cute to you.

you never jam insecure partner. You will be able to tell that this woman wants all your happiness and living to revolve around her. If you become somewhat happy in scenarios where she's not a major player, it becomes a problem, she becomes moody.
It is not practical and always possible that you can involve your partner in everything you do(especially work), na wife u marry, not business partner, except u two are truly running the business together professionally.
A partner needs to be understanding, you never catch am cheat, give him the benefit of the doubt, keep warning him in a cheerful mood, not keeping malice and forming rubbish mood swings because a femal client is calling me. See whether u like it or not, if who u married is a premium man, other women will desire him, some women will want to do business with him because of that. Will you advice your husband not to do business because female clients like him. Keep your man or woman emotionally focused on you through other means, not by keeping malice or giving him or her cold shoulders because u think some other people like him or her.
Everyone has a role to play in our lives, ur friends will be ur friends and its even healthy to catch up on old memories. doesnt mean they are more important than ur wife/husband. U share and plan how to spend ur earnings with her, u plan ur future with her, she is a stakeholder in everything. U are raising ur kids(who are the most important gifts of life) with her....he has never caught him cheating(according to him) ....... i think she's just insecure..Ask her what is her problem with the guy going to the gym now, she fit say who is the guy doing fit body for, that she is not complaining.

Tell her point blank she is making you uncomfortable.

No allow any weyrey woman ( sorry to use that word) stress you.

If she cannot change, she should go!

Give a woman an inch, she will take a mile.
Don't allow nonsense oga.

Dear poster there must have been something you did that made her to start acting this way . If she has been like that from onset then you choose your poison so deal with it

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

Lol...you saw it before you married her na...you didn't control it then, why complain now?

Twist: Your wife is actually cheating and this is a way to throw you off her scent

Wakatumbit:
My wife is very insecure and it's making me tired.
She's always suspicious of everything, I can't go out, I can't answer calls.
The worst part is that she will be keeping malice with me cus she's suspecting me, she won't even say anything to me.

If a someone who I don't want to talk to calls me on my phone, and I decline the call, she will take offense. There was a day my mum was calling me and I didn't answer the call on time, she became mad that it was a woman calling and I don't want to answer the call.

If I tell her I'm going to the gym in the evening she will become suspicious. I can't even talk to my clients who are females in her presence because she Will be always jealous.

As I write this, she isn't talking to me cus I went to the gym yesterday evening.

I'm tired. She has never caught me cheating before because it's something I don't do

In all that you do,never allow her tame you!
You may not see it but deep down,she enjoys and relishes the competition other females are posing on your behalf because it indirectly keeps her on her toes!
You become her problem which is a good thing esp when she tables your matter before her board of directors aka 'female friends'!
That show that there is something you are doing right to make you attractive!
The day you stop going to the gym because of her or the day you either stop picking female calls or deleting such numbers or the day you stop talking to a female just because of your wife is the day you lose your masculine frame or attraction which in most cases is the 'Delilah effect'
You become boring and unattractive to her!
That's where the disrespect starts simply because you allowed her to conquer you!

HBB1:
Tell her point blank she is making you uncomfortable.

No allow any weyrey woman ( sorry to use that word) stress you.

If she cannot change, she should go!

Give a woman an inch, she will take a mile.
Don't allow nonsense oga.

I just asked her now what's the issue and she said nothing is wrong. Apparently she's pretending like there's nothing going on

Wakatumbit:


I just asked her now what's the issue and she said nothing is wrong. Apparently she's pretending like there's nothing going on

Tell her what you think and have noticed.

...and tell her from henceforth, she should stop it.

If she can't, then she can go!

That is toxic behaviour and should not be allowed.
(From a man or woman)