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i think u shld sit him down n talk dis wit him

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mk him c reasons man

Perhaps you should tell Abel your frustrations and have him talk to Kane, perhaps he will listen to Abel seeing that they are both in the same boat.

BTW: This your pseudonyms for your friends self, you no see other names? Or don't you know the relationship between Kane and Abel? From Bible to Jeffery Archer?

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Then stop cooking. Eat out and cook at home every once in a while. Cook the quantity only you can eat, If it's rice cook one cup, that is if you are not a heavy eater. Have your girlfriend (if you have one) cook the meals from her house and bring in a flask. Put only loose change in your wallet. Stop your DSTV subscriptions, na you dey spoil am self. Food and unlimited sports 24/7 with light or generator. The guy is living large and you are just perching.

If all that fails to work, then kick him out abeg. I knew a man like that, who felt that some jobs were just too menial and tasking. He sat at home for close to eleven years, his wife did everything. Then the woman died last year from Hepatitis and the man had to move to his village. I'm sure he wished that all these years he took the advices of those who told him to just look for any job. His kids are separated as families helping out could not just take both of them in. So one kid is with the mum's close friend, the other with the pastor's family and the man in the village. Last I spoke with him, he told me he had started teaching in one village and had to walk miles everyday to get there.

Moral of the story? One job self isn't sufficient in taking care of all your needs that is why people advocate for a multiple source of income. Talk less of someone not having a job at all and not even trying to do something about getting income. What did he study? What is his hobby?

Its funny how people reason;this is a jobless man,but cannot do without fu-c-kin-g his gf& d typical stupid gf has not ever encouraged him to go out to luk for a job.I wonder d level of edu of d girl,comfortably going to see him in ur place knowing a fellow guy is feeding a grown man,evn some parents won't do it

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Remove your DSTV Smart Card.

@OP
you are NOT a real friend, because if you were, you would have NO PROBLEM to throw his a[b]s[/b]s out and let him find a job.
you shouldnt stop your DST or even eat out like someone said, you should simply tell him THE TRUTH:" yo bro, you my dog but i am the reason why you are in such lazy state. so as from today, when i leave for work, YOU leave for work. whether you walk the streets or go sleep under a bridge all day, i dont give a damn but this has got to stop!"

also, no more pocket money and free food. that's the only way he will learn.

Without any further hesitations, throw him out of the house, HE IS A MAN FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, u are not going to live his life for him, the longer he spends in your house idle, the more dependent and comfortable he becomes and if u are not careful he would someday insult you in your own house, give him a deadline to find something doing or show some effort, else he would be evicted, True friendship is not parasitic.

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What do you mean by he goes in your wallet and takes you money. Are you running a thief training institute from your house. You even seem to still be making excuses for him. I don't think you have suffered enough. Wait a little longer oh nna

OP I think you have gotten enough response that will help you know what to do. There is no way he will ever change when you keep treating him like your gf. Infact ask your own gf to move into your house and am sure that will make the house uncomfortable for him. Women have a better way of passing mesg across to people and he will get it

All these goodie-two-shoes people. SMH!
You brought this upon yourself. How can you give him so much money everyday? I'm sure he had such traits before he moved in with you.

Be like me. Open your mouth. Stand your ground. If he refuses, chuck him out. Call the police if you have to.
This kind of "friend" only takes and never gives. Wouldn't even call someone like that a friend.

I'm sure if things were the other way round he wouldn't even let you stay this long at his place, let alone give you allowance. People like this don't change.

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apocalypse:

Even Abel said the same that it is stealing regardless of the fact that he tells me afterwards. Not like I 'm making excuses for him but he has been a good friend in the past , I have known him for more than 20 years ( actually since primary school ) and we've been through a lot together. He has had my back in some very difficult situations , yeah I've also helped him too as well , what I'd like to do is to get him up and make him useful for himself without affecting our friendship

since he has been a good friend to you in the past stop complaining then and continue to accommodate him till he gets his bearing-we all are oblivion of what tomorrow has in stock, today is his turn tomorrow might be yours

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apocalypse:

Even Abel said the same that it is stealing regardless of the fact that he tells me afterwards. Not like I 'm making excuses for him but he has been a good friend in the past , I have known him for more than 20 years ( actually since primary school ) and we've been through a lot together. He has had my back in some very difficult situations , yeah I've also helped him too as well , what I'd like to do is to get him up and make him useful for himself without affecting our friendship

you are going about achieving the above, in bold, the wrong way.
the fact that you guys have 20yrs of friendship behind you IS the reason why, anything you do, he will only see it as a positive step towards his "recovery".

Are you a man or woman? I suspect you are male anyway. You are in a bad spot O, I recommend that you help him get a job. If you are in business, you can subtly put him into the job. Let him run things that you may not have the time to do and see what he makes of it. Sometimes, it takes some young men some time to realise that there is fulfillment in going-out to earn a living. When they eventually do, they can be quite industrous. I have seen it happen!

You are in a real tight spot - especially as you have known him for dat long - 20 years is no joke. U guys need to talk one on one!

Tell him you going to go broke at this rate! If he still doesnt care, then it's time to re-arrange his stuff neatly---outside the flat.

Funniest part of the story is how the OP labelled the 2 friends "Kane and Abel". That's kinda creative.
I can understand the OP not wanting to spoil such a long term relationship. And who knows things may turn out ok for Kane in future so he doesnt want to destroy the friendship.
@OP. Since you dont want to hurt your friend's feeling,i think you have to endure till you get married or something. At least by then Kane wont have any option than to move out.

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