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What Not To Do After A First Date - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ThiefOfHearts(f): 5:17am On Dec 09, 2011
He's still a psycho. If you like write an epistle in defense to his psychosis. wetin be my concern cool

Lord knows how creepy he seemed during the date for him to respond like this? Tell this psycho that you dont wanna see him again and see him stalking you at work to "give me one my chance", I hope she changed her address grin
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Gaggi: 6:43am On Dec 09, 2011
That long epistle jst to get some white, worn out pussyy? That guy nor well i swear. Women really do overrate their punny.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by elampiro(m): 6:48am On Dec 09, 2011
It is not only women that can be desperate, guys too can be desperate to get a particular girl. This guy sounded desperate to get this girl and it can be scaring. Most times after getting what they want they suddenly dissappear and start hunting for another. Some others feel their money will captivate any girl, hence they forget the basics. Who knows what the girl has past through from guys before meeting this guy and perhaps the he sounded like those unserious guys who change women now and then. The guy would have been patient, women always come back to look for the guy or at least find out about him when the guy appeared to have given up the chase.

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by elampiro(m): 6:53am On Dec 09, 2011
Passed through I meant.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by elampiro(m): 7:03am On Dec 09, 2011
One strong advise to people (guys) that would find themselves in this kind of situation. When you like a girl very much, you have to mount pressure at the beginning, you send sweet texts, even if she doesn't pick your call don't bother. Then suddenly cease/stop trying to reach her. That will either make her wonder what went wrong that you stopped calling and texting or she would celebrate the fact that you have stopped disturbing/pestering her life. She is most likely to call you back after few weeks or she will readily tell you her mind if you call again. During the time interval, you should have been prepared to hear the worst and move on.

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by saintugo(m): 8:44am On Dec 09, 2011
Dis guy has reali crossed d line,not all first date must lead 2a 2nd,it happens 2me sumtimes,like wen i hook up wit a gal tru chat and we decide 2meet in person,and so meetin we dnt dig each orda,i respect her feelins if she does nt want 2meet wit me again,its as simple as dat, mike big up urself.

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by AYODEJI4LOVE(m): 10:27am On Dec 09, 2011
This letter is too long.please i need a summary.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by AYODEJI4LOVE(m): 10:29am On Dec 09, 2011
This letter is too long.please i need a summary.and i wonder why a guy should say all this on his first time of meeting a lady.thats too bad of him.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ImaIma1: 10:48am On Dec 09, 2011
abeg dis kind of guy is a psycho and a stalker. the kind of guy that could pour acid on a girl if she breaks his heart.

i knew a guy like that. he fell in love after we met once and started sending really deep messages, and hes a writer.

but in person, he was a real psycho and a very needy guy. i ran.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by shadrach77: 11:18am On Dec 09, 2011
the guy is not a psycho - it's the lady who is at fault here for (a) leading the guy on and giving him the wrong impression (b) failing to get back to the guy and feed ing him back after the date (c) for posting the letter on the net - why will she go to that extent? if you are not interested in a guy why not leave it at that? obviously her motive was to ridicule the guy and prop up her ego.

I pity the guy. It's a hard and bitter lesson. He needs to wisen up and be more open minded in future. tongue embarassed

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ImaIma1: 11:25am On Dec 09, 2011
ok so cos a girl leads u on u have to go all out and ask for an explanation and an apology.

many ladies could touch their haair cos its jst something dey do. so by gisting cheerfully and making him feel comfortable, she is wrong?

she hs a right to go 4 a second date or not. it is a risk.

if we could control everything, then we wld make sure evry guy that gives us a flirty look must call us. and compel any one dt gives u little green light to finish wht he hs started.

the guy should not be forward. i fear guys like that. they want to be able to control anything.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Elprinz(m): 11:58am On Dec 09, 2011

Firstly,[strong] she sucks for posting his email to a public
forum. I can't help but think this guy might get
suicidal for a minute over this if his family and
friends find out his identity as the writer of this long
email.[/strong] He should just have let it go and gone to see a
therapist for a session to talk it out and get over
wanting to contact her again. She was clearly not
interested. It would be so very weird to get such an
email after trying to ignore someone but she could
have tried to brush him off in another way instead of
just ignoring his calls and text messages. A nice lie
would have been great. "I just got back together with
my ex".
- Lisa, Los Angeles,
USA, 09/12/2011 02:18


This is how real people(women) reason.

The petty girl (lauren) didn't even consider all this before she went ahead with a silly high-school-girl act.

How women reason
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Sagamite(m): 12:25pm On Dec 09, 2011
El prinz:

This is how real people(women) reason.

The petty girl (lauren) didn't even consider all this before she went ahead with a silly high-school-girl act.

How women reason

No mind them.

So called "decency rules" only apply when it comes to men. They as women can do anyhow their emotions carry them. grin

Then some silly men will join them when they start saying men that don't follow the "rules" (which the women themselves don't follow) are not "real men".  grin

I might not agree with the guy because he is obviously amateurish and has no game, but the girl I can bet you is a selfish, cold-hearted Bottom. Then in future when she meets guys that are capable of giving the middle finger to their self-serving "rules", she would say "he is so insensitive", "I am 33, I want to know where this is going, I am not getting any younger"  and all the other girls will be whining with her saying "she is a nice girl, she does not deserve this", "Why didn't you tell her your plans before you let her fall", "You just used her and wasted her time".

Eh-eh! According to the "decency rules" (which does not apply to them), you are suppose to be open and respectful even if it is uncomfortable and/or to your own disadvantage. On the other hand, they can ignore the rules if both factors are in existence and even sometimes when they do not exist.

Since he is an investment banker and obviously crazy about her, I can only assume he asked her out and paid for the date. The least decent thing she can do is to pick up his call and somehow let him know she is not interested to progress. But that message I can guess is quite uncomfortable, so she decided to chicken out and ignore him. That approach is only acceptable when a woman does that o.  grin If a man does it, he is breaking the "decency rules" and is a Baaaaaaaaastaaaaard. "He should have been a bit nicer naw and told her to her face". grin It is OK to expect men to deliver uncomfortable messages as part of the "decency rules". undecided

That ignoring him is a bit minor, but her coldness to now put his 'pain' letter on the net is just beyond me. But trust women, as long as it is not them or not one of them it is happening to (hence creating a rule for it not to happen to them), "it is not a big deal, get over it", "stop being a loser". If it happens to them, "it is OUTRAGEOUS"!

WELCOME TO THE IDEAL WORLD SOME MEN-HATERS WANT TO CREATE! grin

Please, men, can we do the salute in syncronicity?

Join me in putting your middle finger in the air to their self-serving rules. grin

1 Like

Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Amya(f): 1:08pm On Dec 09, 2011
ThiefOfHearts:

My friend, abeg. Im not simple. You are trying to paint me as a hypocrite. wont work

I will say that they didnt have a ''good fun date" afterall

Obviously he wasnt feeling her despite this delusion of "fun"

Time to move on.

How hard is it to go by actions?

People can say whatever the hell they want "this was fun, blah blah blah i like you. lets do this again"

If he or she doesnt try to make it go further with action than the "spark/fun" isnt reciprocal

why would ANYONE want to be in a relationship where the feelings arent reciprocal? This is where the person moves on and hopefully gets with someone where their feelings for each other are MUTUAL.

The truth of the matter is, if meet someone, go on a date with that person, have a fun time thoroughly enjoy the person's company, after which said person such person shuts you out completely. you'll never rest until you know why there's a sudden change of behavior than that anticipated. Just letting the other person know why can help in closure. stuffs like "i don't think we are compatible" e.t.c

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Amya(f): 1:16pm On Dec 09, 2011
I actually do feel sorry for the guy in question.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:38pm On Dec 09, 2011
Amya:

The truth of the matter is, if meet someone, go on a date with that person, have a fun time thoroughly enjoy the person's company, after which said person such person shuts you out completely. you'll never rest until you know why there's a sudden change of behavior than that anticipated. Just letting the other person know why can help in closure. [b]stuffs like "i don't think we are compatible" [/b]e.t.c

Would that be enough for someone who could write such a creepy letter?

He'll probably then ask "why arent we compatible?" what do you mean by that? I can make myself compatible enough with you. Ad nauseam
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by MRbrownJAY(m): 8:24pm On Dec 09, 2011
i just read that the guy who wrote this letter was an INVESTMENT BANKER. . . . . . . . PRICELESS!!!!!

1 Like

Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Sagamite(m): 11:14am On Dec 10, 2011
Now see some of these stewpid women's opinion (on the same dumb paper - dailymail) about Goerge Clooney after he dumped a girl trying to put pressure on him to marry.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2007096/Did-Elisabetta-Canalis-marriage-plans-scare-George-Clooney.html

This is the same man that has PUBLICLY declared he would never marry again, is not interested in marriage and will never marry anyone he dates. PUBLICLY!!!

Then a girl that is aware of this and still dates him and now wanting to pressure him to change his mind gets dumped, then some witches come out to start attacking him. He did not even give a middle finger to their rules as he was totally open and sincere.




"What a waste of two years to this woman's life--- George Clooney, you are a very selfish man. When you die and feel the loneliness you will have no one to blame but yourself"

"That's o.k. His friends will be well grounded with their wives and children, and George will end up dying old and alone, "

"When you get to his age and you're STILL considered an "eligible bachelor" there's something wrong. I think he's commitment phobic and uses beautiful women for the PR it brings him. He certainly doesn't seem to be looking for The One."

"First of all, he's not 'eligible' because he's made it very clear he doesn't want a committed relationship. So, caveat emptor. Secondly and like many men, once he hits a certain age, he'll frantically start looking for someone to take care of him in his dotage - and that means he's going to get married one day. !"

"He loves himself to much to get married. He will probably die a recluse. Not that I care. Just an opinion."

"What a selfish guy! He is going to end up sad and lonely"

"It has nothing to do with his job and working too much. The guy is charming, intelligent and handsome. But he has issues. He goes from one woman to the next. Marriage is a concept he just can't quite wrap his head around. Maybe he needs to have a chat with Warren Beatty. Going from woman to woman loses its luster after a while."

"Clooney will just move onto the next drop dead georgeous babe, etc. Pretty shallow guy"

"he needs to get over himself. if a beautiful woman who loves him 'scares' him at 50, he's a Kitty with issues."

"You can be "Eligible" for so long, but he's becoming positively decrepit. He is obviously afraid of committment, so should remain alone and stop wasting the time of these lovely ladies."

"George's ego is amazing. In a couple of years he will realize just how selfish and silly he really is when his 31 flavors are reduced by 30 (leaving just himself)"

"Pure selfish this George. If you dont want marriage, please dont date girls. Every woman's wish is to get married."

"Why do these women waste their time with him? He only thinks of himself and thinks he is above everyone else. He needs constant attention."

"Why do these old vampires keep wasting the time of young women? Why not just spend some real quality time with the true object of their affections, right there in the mirror. And go out with someone your own age, not some of childbearing years"
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by gabbytabby: 5:23pm On Dec 10, 2011
One of the first rules of internet dating is that no one owes you an explanation especially just after a first date. The purpose of a first meet (I wont even dignify it by calling it a date) is similar to when you see a person and size them up and down to decide if you like what you see in normal life you just take your eyes away and that is end of story if you are not interested. In internet dating, when you meet for the first time you dont know what is normal for them so its unreasonable to make any assumptions or seek to interprete any of their guestures. She might only be being polite to sit through the meet. If she is not interested in dating you, of what use is the reason, by her actions she has let you know that she is not interested in dating and all you need to do is move on.

Man or woman if you cant deal with a rejection then you dont value yourself enough to believe that you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. The other way of looking at it is do you want to force yourself on someone who is not interested in you or, do you have a narcissistic disorder with an excessive preoccupation about your self importance. "The how dare her syndrome"

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:34pm On Dec 10, 2011
Any woman who wants to get married would be foolish to have anything to do with Clooney

He's not "selfish" or "wicked", he's been married before. He doesnt want to do it again. I see nothing wrong with that. He has never lied about it.

Plus I respect the fact that he doesnt have any outside children. He's a smart man who protects his sperm. Men do well to learn from him.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Kanou(f): 9:27pm On Dec 10, 2011
Eyaaah, I feel so sorry for the guy.

This is a well brought up guy, who is simply asking for some courtesy, especially when he was thinking that all went well. Why would she not have the simple decency of a feedback with him, a simple text message?
It is okay guy, you will definately find a better behaved and sensitive girl who also loves classical music. Not everybody is mean, even when you have treated them right. I feel for him.  cry

1 Like

Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by ShyOne(f): 9:28pm On Jan 02, 2012
@ Mike

STFU = why you did not get a 2nd date.

Simple, I can without a shadow of a doubt, bet money that you rambled on and on and on and on when you took her out on the 1st date, people generally write in the manner in which they talk.

Here is a visual:  Sit across the table from this man during dinner, put a glass of wine in his hand, All you have to do as a woman is sit pretty, stay quiet and nod your head, he will carry the conversation and it will be about HIM the entire night and what he observes about you.  You don't have to say a word.

Mike needs to date himeself, they make a perfect match and are the perfect couple. I wonder what he allowed her to say after she said hello? undecided

smh
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Mondisweets: 10:07am On Dec 27, 2013
The amount of time and energy this guy put in sending this email could have been put into something as far much more productive undecided
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Sagamite(m): 10:48am On Dec 27, 2013
Mondisweets: The amount of time and energy this guy put in sending this email could have been put into something as far much more productive undecided

I fully agree.

Just as I think many women could have put their time and energy into something far much more productive than whining about how some guy used them.

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Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Mondisweets: 10:54am On Dec 27, 2013
Sagamite:

I fully agree.

Just as I think many women could have put their time and energy into something far much more productive than whining about how some guy used them.
a person is most likely to miss whats in front of her if she keeps focusing on whats behind her

1 Like

Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Sagamite(m): 10:59am On Dec 27, 2013
Mondisweets: a person is mostly to miss whats in front of her if she keeps focusing on whats behind her

I live my life with the clarity that there is nothing to miss as long as you are enjoying your life, irrespective of the life others want to convince you is right because it abides by some rules you are not interested in and is not in your best interest.

3 Likes

Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Theben(m): 1:06pm On Dec 27, 2013
Sagamite:

I live my life with the clarity that there is nothing to miss as long as you are enjoying your life, irrespective of the life others want to convince you is right because it abides by some rules you are not interested in and is not in your best interest.
Oga saga, abeg bone the South African babe. There is an 'us against them' war going on right now, the Ghanaians are already winning and we need you to defend awon omo Naija. Please don't disappoint us. Thanks.
www.nairaland.com/1569859/confessions-ghana-based-nigerian-youth/10
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by UjSizzle(f): 1:54pm On Dec 27, 2013
This was a longassed letter for nothing undecided Dude needs to get a hobby.
Re: What Not To Do After A First Date by Sagamite(m): 2:52pm On Dec 27, 2013
Theben:
Oga saga, abeg bone the South African babe. There is an 'us against them' war going on right now, the Ghanaians are already winning and we need you to defend awon omo Naija. Please don't disappoint us. Thanks.
www.nairaland.com/1569859/confessions-ghana-based-nigerian-youth/10

Mba.

Me I no get problem with Ghanaians.

If Naija people head correct, Ghanaians no go get mouth anywhere.

Abi Austria fit talk when Germany dey talk?

Abi New Zealand fit talk when Australia dey talk?

Abi United Mexican States (Mexico) fit talk when United States of America dey talk?


I would rather focus on criticising Nigeria and shaming it to be better, than focusing on criticising Ghana to make Naija feel good.

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