Not to offend anyone here, I am also introverted but I don't think staying in your house for a week/weeks is an healthy thing to do, you do that constantly and you end up forgetting the basic conventions and rules of interacting in society (I guess that's why a lot of introverts do weird stuff when interacting with others) besides even if you are not meeting up with friends or whatever, you can go out and work, make money, become rich; that is unless you're doing an online job. . . . again, no offence.

question: research has shown one of the greatest disadvantage of being an introvert is poor leadership qualities or innability to take up leadership responsility. true/false?

Research has also shown that introverts are really intelligent because of d time the spend discovering things however introverts are not shy people they just take their time in selecting what they like.

ok, dis is officially d best post eva, im a confirmed introvert! i need 2 show dis to evry1 i know, lol

Na wa oh, see plenty plenty big big Engrish for this thread, oyinbo nor go finish today, chai see oppression at its highest order ehn, just because Father Christmas refuses to bring me a thesaurus this Christmas for the 60th year running

Choi, see effrybody "claiming" to be introverts, well we are still in the new year so can't blame everyone for "losing" their bearings and thinking only sweet gooey mushy stuffs about themselves, who nor like beta things

@dvee8, yep u ar correct am talking from d experience of my own life as an example, i dodge any leadership role and normally relinquish it 2 any interested person dat myt b under me 2 run everytn mayb i can just show 2 superior who appointed me but normally i don't do d work, my younger brother now acts like d first son cos i so much withdraw from being recognized as one and one funny thing is dat it doesn't disturb me or cause me 2 think. I avoid goin 2 d villa cos my father wil always be showing me 2 d grandpas and other villagers and if i go I leave my house into d bush 2 dodge those that will visit, Stil tank u 4 d thread

rman:

Deemain, you raised some serious points in your post below. I can relate personaly to all the traits u explained
Will u please explain the possible solution for someone that exhibits almost all the traits u described below?
[b][/b]

My suggestions for you are:

1.Acknowledge the effect of the past on you and learn to love yourself and pamper yourself.  

2. Heal your traumatic memories and your past - write about it in a journal, or talk about it to trusted others (this is called Carthasis) . It can help if you can see a life coach, a therapist or a psychologist in your area.

3. Forgive whoever hurt you. Free yourself from all resentments and pains and frustrations - Remember they might be unconscious and u may be in denial that you have such issues or that you harbour such pains or trauma.

4. Use affirmations or confessions (christain affirmations) to condition new habits, control your sabotaging behaviours and learn new behaviours. You can google afffirmations to learn how to use them.  Repeated affirmations work because, they work on our subconscious thoughts and therefore recondition the subconscious which leads to a change in behaviour.

5. Humble yourself by asking friends , colleagues, or your life coach to give u honest feedbacks on your behaviours to enable u make the much needed change. U need these feedback because u are not probably aware of many of these sabotaging behaviours.


if you are still having issues making the much needed changes, then contact the professionals i mentioned earlier.

Cheers.

jonex70 link=topic:



@jonex70 (m)
lagos,nigeria

« #158 on: Yesterday at 11:03:44 PM »
@Deemain, I don't have low esteem problem trust me when I say that. About my parent and upbringing u may have some point there. I have few friend buit I only want to meet people or want to see u only if I invite u.I can cope with anybody and can also leave with any type of humanbeing. I have never seen anyone that has ever met me and don't like me. I can intaract with anybody if I want to no matter your class or level. Matter of fact some people think its a priviledge to talk with me because they know I don't talk with people and wen I eventual do its gonna be sensesible one.I can also joke a lot if am in the mood. I hate party and am still thinking of joininh jehova witness because I like their life style and it suit me well. I help people at my own detriment not because I don't value myself but because I can always get another one.I can't just stand people suferring.I can give in anyway just to help not just money and I can turn violent to help someone if I feel the person is been cheated.I hate fake people and I like feedom and like people to do wat they like and not because someone want them to do it. I can't stand low self esteem people.ii can keep quiet for 72 hours without saying a word and still finish off Nigeria. Mind you am not a violent person but very intelligent according to people. I also watch a lot of inteligent movie and I like to learn from people mistake.am very imform and. Stay kin torch with happening in world 24 hours. I don't have good relationship with my parennt like u said but that never affect me. Infact they party too much and I don't like that about them but we are not enemy but we hadly see. So waiting for your reply but don't use most of the foul language you use in your first comment. [/b]


[b]I understand my language may appear foul to u in a public forum but I came in because you asked for help and I needed to be direct with u because of lack of time. My apologies to u. However, since u agree with the parents part of my submission, then that would have affected ur self image, even though you may be unaware of it. My above suggestion will help u.

rman:

Deemain, you raised some serious points in your post below. I can relate personaly to all the traits u explained
Will u please explain the possible solution for someone that exhibits almost all the traits u described below?
[b][/b]

My suggestions for you are:

1.Acknowledge the effect of the past on you and learn to love yourself and pamper yourself.  

2. Heal your traumatic memories and your past - write about it in a journal, or talk about it to trusted others (this is called Carthasis) . It can help if you can see a life coach, a therapist or a psychologist in your area.

3. Forgive whoever hurt you. Free yourself from all resentments and pains and frustrations - Remember they might be unconscious and u may be in denial that you have such issues or that you harbour such pains or trauma.

4. Use affirmations or confessions (christain affirmations) to condition new habits, control your sabotaging behaviours and learn new behaviours. You can google afffirmations to learn how to use them.  Repeated affirmations work because, they work on our subconscious thoughts and therefore recondition the subconscious which leads to a change in behaviour.

5. Humble yourself by asking friends , colleagues, or your life coach to give u honest feedbacks on your behaviours to enable u make the much needed change. U need these feedback because u are not probably aware of many of these sabotaging behaviours.


if you are still having issues making the much needed changes, then contact the professionals i mentioned earlier.

Cheers.

jonex70 link=topic:



@jonex70 (m)
lagos,nigeria

« #158 on: Yesterday at 11:03:44 PM »
@Deemain, I don't have low esteem problem trust me when I say that. About my parent and upbringing u may have some point there. I have few friend buit I only want to meet people or want to see u only if I invite u.I can cope with anybody and can also leave with any type of humanbeing. I have never seen anyone that has ever met me and don't like me. I can intaract with anybody if I want to no matter your class or level. Matter of fact some people think its a priviledge to talk with me because they know I don't talk with people and wen I eventual do its gonna be sensesible one.I can also joke a lot if am in the mood. I hate party and am still thinking of joininh jehova witness because I like their life style and it suit me well. I help people at my own detriment not because I don't value myself but because I can always get another one.I can't just stand people suferring.I can give in anyway just to help not just money and I can turn violent to help someone if I feel the person is been cheated.I hate fake people and I like feedom and like people to do wat they like and not because someone want them to do it. I can't stand low self esteem people.ii can keep quiet for 72 hours without saying a word and still finish off Nigeria. Mind you am not a violent person but very intelligent according to people. I also watch a lot of inteligent movie and I like to learn from people mistake.am very imform and. Stay kin torch with happening in world 24 hours. I don't have good relationship with my parennt like u said but that never affect me. Infact they party too much and I don't like that about them but we are not enemy but we hadly see. So waiting for your reply but don't use most of the foul language you use in your first comment.

I understand my language may appear foul to u in a public forum but I came in because you asked for help and I needed to be direct with u because of lack of time. My apologies to u. However, since u agree with the parents part of my submission, then that would have affected ur self image, even though you may be unaware of it. My above suggestion will help u.

dvee2:

question: research has shown one of the greatest disadvantage of being an introvert is poor leadership qualities or innability to take up leadership responsility. true/false?

Have to disagree somewhat. I've never really effectively aspired to lead neither would i put myself up for a leadership position, but i've always been chosen to lead. For some strange reasons, people kind of respect my views a whole lot more and seem more willing to trust my leadership than anyone else's. As a person of very few words, the few i utter seem to be loaded and as with most views i've read on this thread, most mistake my few words for arrogance. As my platoon football coach during NYSC, a section labelled me 'Mourinho - the arrogant coach'! It baffled me beyond words and while that perception has always affected my leadership, it's always turned out to be a huge success at the end except during NYSC football of course where we got whacked 4 - 0 in our first and only game, come see frog jump! lol.

Busy_body:

Choi, see effrybody "claiming" to be introverts, well we are still in the new year so can't blame everyone for "losing" their bearings and thinking only sweet gooey mushy stuffs about themselves, who nor like beta things

Hahaha, jealousy, better join the club. But your craze no go gree you.
It's true sha, e be like say there are different kinds of introverts, cos me I don't understand some people's introversion sha.

Great article but I think people should strive for that middle ground and manage both sides of their personalities. I've always been introverted by nature, and I really enjoy my company very much. Whether I'm curled up on a sofa taking a dip in a riveting novel, playing an epic adventure  game on my PS3, or perhaps posting an entry on nairaland -- I thoroughly enjoy these kind of solitary activities.  I'm also someone who can survive without electricity and a phone for a month insofar as I've got good books and a notepad handy but i have a good number of friends who simply can't, and it goes without saying that they find me weird.

That said I know its easy too get too comfortable with my solitary stance to not be bothered about  seeking out the company of other human beings. So its always a deliberate concious effort on my part to get out of my comfort zone often enough so that i can still be at touch with my outward nature. I didnt recognize I could do this till i was way past my teens which were marked by extreme shyness and social anxiety. But as a result  of my concious self improvement towards my outer core i now enjoy doing some of these things i once dreaded like dancing at a party or even voicing my opinion during a group convo. Like many kids,  Partying used to bring a lot of uneasiness to me when I was a lot younger but not any more. I learned how to dance pretty late  in my early twenties but that more than anything else did so much for my self confidence and made me a more socially adjusted person than any self help book i can think of.

Im not quite there yet, but I'm a believer in seeking the right balance between extrovertedness and introvertedness which in my opinion are two extremes, a vast majority of individuals fall betweeen those two extremes and display both sides. The key is for people to recognize where they fall and nurture those extroverted or introverted  qualities they'd like to see in themselves.

stillwater:

Hahaha, jealousy, better join the club. But your craze no go gree you.
It's true sha, e be like say there are different kinds of introverts, cos me I don't understand some people's introversion sha.

Exactly!! How can someone like stilly claim to be an introvert? Na lie jor!!  

On the other hand, I match the definition perfectly with my calm and gentle demeanour.  

some don't even know what they have. it might be aggressive psycho disorder   or some weirdo compulsive something etc yet they gave it a weird name to feel comfortable  
introvert/extravite ko, introductory to psycho ni

Happy New Year y'all  

BB, how you dey.

Busy_body:

Na wa oh, see plenty plenty big big Engrish for this thread, oyinbo nor go finish today, chai see oppression at its highest order ehn, just because Father Christmas refuses to bring me a thesaurus this Christmas for the 60th year running

You must be an introvert to appreciate nairaland. Extroverts don't have that kind of time

Happy New year everyone

Thank God i am an extrovert. Good to start the year with sincerity, 

see this one sef dey label herself too, welcome to the club fa

Happy new year and how are you?

ronkebp:

Happy New year everyone

Thank God i am an extrovert. Good to start the year with sincerity, 

armyofone:

see this one sef dey label herself too, welcome to the club fa

Happy new year and how are you?

My dear, i dey oooo, happy new year to you too? pele!!! how body?

I be extrovert now, i love to party and make friends, i am very very open to making friends, and i am not afraid to voice out when i want to, no be ''being an extrovert'' be that?

This thread surely makes me feel good about myself. I'm an introvert but I know how to fit in. Thats where the nick 'Loon' came from. In a crowd, I stand out. Without a doubt.

debosky:

Exactly!! How can someone like stilly claim to be an introvert? Na lie jor!!  

On the other hand, I match the definition perfectly with my calm and gentle demeanour.  

Lol, see jealousy everywhere. . .

Calm and gentle? Can you afford to be anything else with your lepa shandi frame? Buhahaha.

See as everybody dey say 'see as everybody dey claim introvert'. Buhahaha. Busybody you don get disciple o.

i love to party and make friends, i am very very open to making friends

another quality of the extrovert.

an introvert is typically more wary about the people around him/her.

an extrovert (online) is also easily identified by their willingness/ability to meet and bond with other users offline.

**comes with risk though. Be careful**

Nice topic. It seems I may be more introverted than I thought.

I like reading articles or books that explain to me why I act the way I do. This is why I really enjoyed reading this article & took my time to read all the posts. I have always wondered why out of 8 Children born by my parents, I am the only one that like keeping to myself. Others prefer being with friends, neighbors, even one another. When I was growing up (even up till now) I never visited neither did I have anyone visiting me (I have only one very close friend, we attended the same primary sch. were in the same class in sec. sch. & studied the same course in Uni.). When I was in school I never asked questions in class because I didn't want to draw attention to myself (all eyes looking at u &…). I remember in primary 6 during a quiz competition b/w girls & boys, the quiz master asked a question and to my surprise nobody knew the answer not even the intelligent ones in the class but I knew it! The answer was even in my book, yet I couldn’t say it so we lost that point & the competition (I really hated myself for this). Before I started using mobile phone, I used to worry that apart from family members I won’t have any other person to add to my list of contacts & that I won’t be receiving calls. I couldn’t imagine myself standing in front of people to speak (the thought of it alone petrifies me). Thank God I have outgrown my chronic shyness. Even though am still an Introvert at least I’m more outgoing and friendly & above all I love myself just the way I am.

i hate reading novels, don't know y but i read my notes, can't drop my phone 4 a second except if am sleeping, do alot of system work like programming and derive joy reading ebooks from d system.
Quick tempered, i stammer wen under tension or annoyed and can fight when annoyed but generally very calm, docile and timid if u'd like it like dat

wesley80:

Have to disagree somewhat. I've never really effectively aspired to lead neither would i put myself up for a leadership position, but i've always been chosen to lead. For some strange reasons, people kind of respect my views a whole lot more and seem more willing to trust my leadership than anyone else's. As a person of very few words, the few i utter seem to be loaded and as with most views i've read on this thread, most mistake my few words for arrogance. As my platoon football coach during NYSC, a section labelled me 'Mourinho - the arrogant coach'! It baffled me beyond words and while that perception has always affected my leadership, it's always turned out to be a huge success at the end except during NYSC football of course where we got whacked 4 - 0 in our first and only game, come see frog jump! lol.

Word!

Keep it coming guys

stillwater:

Hahaha, jealousy, better join the club. But your craze no go gree you.
It's true sha, e be like say there are different kinds of introverts, cos me I don't understand some people's introversion sha.

Who wan join ya association of Deluded Boring People Feeling Funky and Fly Convention Haba, see advertisement and Curriculum Vitae of prim and properness(sic)

Anyway it is still the new year so is understandable that the ogogoro una all shack never commot for ya body finish

stillwater:

See as everybody dey say 'see as everybody dey claim introvert'. Buhahaha. Busybody you don get disciple o.

She has a very good head on her shoulders and is very very astute for her age, and will go places. Saw her post in the Obuh Charity thread and was like wow, she was one of the pivotal ones who stood up to be counted until that project came to fruition cos i remember when the newspaper story broke and everyone started doing a u-turn and she made some comment about people not needing to wait for other before deciding to do things on their own accord, alongside with Armyofone who chipped in about the need of the man for rehabilitation and shouldn't just be expected to be yanked out of all he'd ever known as home, as well as Johndoe who unrelently kept giving e-punches and e-knockouts and plummelling people relentlessly to not base the gift they want to give on a conditional basis but to give freely out of the abundance of their heart and Radiant with her subtle e-punches and e-blows too, God bless you all for turning it round . . .


Erm . . .what was your question about certain people accepting bribes from me to come and support me on this thread again But seriously she touched my heart i can't help but comment  


On second thought, I refuse to believe there isn't a prize somewhere for introverts at the end of this thread jare, abeg wey the introvert queue make i join, and with the money i win, i will go and buy myself a hot pink fluorescent overall, i am tired of being mistaken as the same person as Jennykadry in yabaleft with our current shocking green uniform

armyofone:

some don't even know what they have. it might be aggressive psycho disorder  or some weirdo compulsive something etc yet they gave it a weird name to feel comfortable 
introvert/extravite ko, introductory to psycho ni

Happy New Year y'all 

BB, how you dey.

Hi babes, happy new year o jare.

Ha, you better mind what you say on this thread and behave yourself. You nor see as all Nairalanders dey claim introvert ni, you know what, why don't you go and queue behind the extrovert queue so if you win we share the spoil 50-50 Don't tell anyone though this is only between you and I, so if words get out that we colluded to cheat peren Saw what you did too babe

Erm . . .what was your question about certain people accepting bribes from me to come and support me on this thread again But seriously she touched my heart i can't help but comment

^^^Awww eyah. Me too I have a good heart. I am undoubtedly sure I've touched your heart before . Confess!

On second thought, I refuse to believe there isn't a prize somewhere for introverts at the end of this thread jare, abeg wey the introvert queue make i join, and with the money i win, i will go and buy myself a hot pink fluorescent overall, i am tired of being mistaken as the same person as Jennykadry in yabaleft with our current shocking green uniform

Na beg I dey beg you. No join us o. Before you infect me with the craze of long articles. I'm cool with my one liners.

stillwater:

^^^Awww eyah. Me too I have a good heart. I am undoubtedly sure I've touched your heart before . Confess!

Once upon a time, a certain gentleman named Eldee crowned me the most intelligent on Nairaland, and of course i decided to take a certain lady called Stillwater under my feet and groom her . . .and the rest of course they say, is history. What a mighty fine job i did on her, and now wherever she goes, she gets all these accolade of "who is your English Teacher Do you know how many referrals i have had off the back of you, so why would I not be proud of my favourite and most brilliant student, so of course you have touched my heart a million times Hey don't flatter yourself too much though and hope it would not go into your head, because whilst the rest of my students took at least 15 years to finish the Eze goes to school textbook i use to teach my students English, you took only 9 years, a mean feat no doubt, but technically y'all are olodos, but of course i can't afford that to get out, i have a reputation to protect, well either that or i need to stretch out the attendance to reap in more school fees to fund my champagne lifestyle

Hang on, what do you mean i am an epistle writer When am i ever going to shake off being mistaken for Jennykadry Me that i cannot write more than 3 lines at most to save my life   I take my compliment back that you have touched my heart No i will let it remain, because afterall it is for myyour benefit, who else's

stillwater:


Na beg I dey beg you. No join us o. Before you infect me with the craze of long articles. I'm cool with my one liners.

Okay here is the deal, you stay in the introverts queue and when you win, we both share the money 50-50, haha i knew you would say yes. I just remembered one thing - i haven't seen armyofone for a week now, so if you come across her, you haven't seen me ok, only reason being i am on a diet you see, and all she mentions is food, food, glorious food