hi nairalanders,please help me out.I met this girl in 2008,we love each other so much.I proposed to her early this year.my parents vehemently opposed our relationship because the is from another tribe.I tried everything possible to convince my parents,it never yield any positive result.just last week she told me is pregnant,that she met with one female prophet who told her never to abort the pregnancy.the woman said that if we terminate the pregnancy,I might not be able to father a child in the future.is she lying just to makes us get married against my parents wish?should I go ahead with the wedding plan or abort the pregnancy and dam the consequence?please help cos I dont want to have a child out of wedlock.

guy if you actually got her pregnant be a man and own up to your responsibilities and do the right thing,, for the child, even if not for the girl but for the child and about your parents not wanting you to marry her if you are able to get her pregnant without your parents consents its up to you to decide who you want o get married to except you want to abandon the girl and the baby either way the choice is yours.

if u really luv her,u should go on with de wedding plans. And make ur parents 2 understand that their grant child is on his way coming,and dat what ever come 2 a man he is equal 2 the task.

@all,thanks so much for the advice.I really love this girl with all my heart.she is the kind of woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.my parents are making things difficult.they have threatened not to attend the wedding,should I go against their wish.I have consulted some elderly persons,all they keeps saying is that the words of elders is the words of wisdom.I am so confused.

There is not much you can do. You have to bring your parents to approve of this relationship. You can start off by talking to your parents' friends who are understanding and might be willing to accompany you to them, for your sake.
Really, this is just such a difficult situation. If you daring enough, an option is to elope with her! Your parents will come around later, rest assured!

sauer:

There is not much you can do. You have to bring your parents to approve of this relationship. You can start off by talking to your parents' friends who are understanding and might be willing to accompany you to them, for your sake.
Really, this is just such a difficult situation. If you daring enough, an option is to elope with her!  Your parents will come around later, rest assured!

tank you so much.elope is the last option in my mind right now because dat means leaving my present job.

Fesisko:

elope is the last option in my mind right now because dat means leaving my present job.

WHAT!?? Don,t let that cross your mind again! How long can u runaway from family, 4, 10 or 18yrs? My man, u need ur parents blessings. Keep trying every option to work thing out with them.
.
This is 2012, Nigerians should learn to be de-tribalized jooor.

If u really love her and u still want to marry her, Try Talk to your parents tell them about the pregnancy make them see reasons. Abortion is not an option.

@op if u get better job and money marry am but if u be poor guy omo tell am make she go commot d belle.

The game playing in us Nigerians is becoming outrageous. If it is not the men giving a "she must be pregnant for me to validate her fertility before marrying her" ultimatum it is the ladies trapping the men with pregnancies. Most of you deserve yourselves sha because girls seem to be beating you guys at your own games nowadays. She even tightened up her own side of the game pitch with some prophetess stories and had you running scared. Poster if you search among the threads here you will find out that girls are upping their games nowadays, one went to the extent of forging birth certificate to lie about her age to her younger man who realized he has been played after the wedding .  She should respect your brain and intelligence and cut out that crap about the prophecy that you may become childless, why was she not the one prophesized to never have another child if she aborts this one? (abeg i no support abortion-o-o, make una deliver una child---don't kill pls). All of una fit unaself.

As you were already planning to marry her, try harder at convincing your parents, difference in tribe is not enough reason not to marry one's choice.
If not that you already had in mind to marry her, I will say that her being pregnant is not enough reason to marry yet it is important that you take care of the child when born . It is not the best thing to hurriedly marry for pregnancy when you are not ready to marry or if you don't love her enough to marry her so as to avoid ending up shackled together and unhappy but like you said you already had that it in mind to marry her.

I hope you win over your parents if not for anything make another naija lady add again to the statistics of the girls beating the boys to this funny games some of you are playing. Hey! I didn't talk down on your lady biko as you can see i was patriotic to my fellow girls. Let the game continue----huh.

Guy marry her final.

babsjnr:

@op if u get better job and money marry am but if u be poor guy omo tell am make she go commot d belle.

lol.money is not the issue except the problem I highlighted earlier.I hav a decent job.

Bro,if i were u, i'll take d child nd 4get d marriage since ur parents nd some elderly men disagree "d word of d elderly 1 is wisdom"this is a serious statement neva joke wit it

Poster, your parents cannot marry you, you have to marry one day , and if you feel this is the right girl for you, marry her, your parents will come around later

Ch@nges:

Bro,if i were u, i'll take d child nd 4get d marriage since your parents nd some elderly men disagree "d word of d elderly 1 is wisdom"this is a serious statement neva joke wit it

I finally told my Dad about the pregnancy today.he said that he
can't reverse his decision.after much plea,he concluded that we can have the baby,thereafter we separate.I told him I don't want to hav a child out of wedlock.mehn!that got him so annoyed.I have two options n none of the two is favourable @present:disobey my dad n go ahead with the wedding,fashy the girl n leave her heartbroken.this is definitely not the best way to start a new year.why me?

Fesisko:

I finally told my Dad about the pregnancy today.he said that he
can't reverse his decision.after much plea,he concluded that we can have the baby,thereafter we separate.I told him I don't want to hav a child out of wedlock.mehn!that got him so annoyed.I have two options n none of the two is favourable @present:[b]disobey my dad n go ahead with the wedding,fashy the girl n left her heartbroken.[/b]this is definitely not the best way to start a new year.why me?

And inside these 2 options u came up with, 2thins are also involved:

1) Disobey your dad and go ahead with the wedding ( might get disowned by your dad but, you only offended a HUMAN BEING - your father).

2) Fashy the girl and leave her heart broken with her pregnancy (and face the wrath of the almighty - God).

Choose 1 (whichever u choose, I wish u best of luck)!

Guy you wan marry your father? If the answer is no, then marry the person you want to be with

Fesisko:

I finally told my Dad about the pregnancy today.he said that he
can't reverse his decision.after much plea,he concluded that we can have the baby,thereafter we separate.I told him I don't want to hav a child out of wedlock.mehn!that got him so annoyed.I have two options n none of the two is favourable @present:disobey my dad n go ahead with the wedding,fashy the girl n left her heartbroken.this is definitely not the best way to start a new year. Why me?

Poster please DON'T FASHY THE GIRL AND LEAVE HER HEARTBROKEN.
I hate that she played that s-t-u-p-i-d "get pregnant for him" game and complicated matters yet her motive may be for her not to lose you.
You love her and have already planned to marry her. It is wicked to abandon her now if you truly love her.
Please SUPPORT her as she is carrying the baby and see her through to delivery. I'm sure that your parents will come round by the time they see the baby and you guys can still marry in future ev[color=#000099][/color]en after the birth of the baby. Please don't in the confusion of it all abort that child. You don't know what that child will become and by the time your sweet child will be giving you joy in the future you will forget you ever went thru this unhappiness now.

Ivynwa:

Poster please DON'T FASHY THE GIRL AND LEAVE HER HEARTBROKEN.
I hate that she played that silly "get pregnant for him" game and complicated matters but you love her and have already planned to marry her. It is wicked to abandon her now if you truly love her.
Please SUPPORT her as she is carrying the baby and see her through to delivery. I'm sure that your parents will come around by the time they see the baby and you guys can still marry in future ev[color=#000099][/color]en after the birth of the baby. Please don't in the confusion of it all abort that child. You don't know what that child will become and by the time your sweet child will be giving you joy in the future you will forget you ever went thru this unhappiness now.

Na baba GOD go bless you.I am indeed greatful.

Tell your parents she is pregnant. They'll come around.