Big Dilemma In Marriage - Romance - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / Big Dilemma In Marriage (2298 Views)
Help!!! He Is In A Big Dilemma With His Girlfriend / Big Dilemma! Made A Mistake, How Do I Run Away? / I Am In A Complicated Dilemma In Need Of Help From Matured Minds Only (2) (3) (4)
| Big Dilemma In Marriage by goodjack(m): 6:58pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
I am in a very big dilemma. I am a married with 2 lovely kids. I don’t feel happy in my marriage because I can not say that I am madly in love with my young wife. She is very much in love with me but I am very tired of my marriage. I met my wife while doing my youth service in south south Nigeria. She took to me and I tried to avoid any closeness but it didn’t work. We eventually started a sexual relationship with resulted in her getting pregnant for me. I married her so as not to allow her to abort and kill an innocent child a boy. I thought I will love her in the future. We later had another child a girl. Though I have never cheated on her but I don’t think I love her that much. I tend to be in love with another woman though I am not cheating on my wife. I want to ask her if she can approve me to go into polygamy for I believe that will only save of union. I care so much for those innocent and lovely children of mine. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by freecocoa(f): 7:03pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
Osara oku The matter serious gan.brb let me consult my dad. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by merge(f): 7:07pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
Its your fault and you will pay the price. This is what happen when men date women because she gives up sex easily and not based on love. You based your relationship on sex and not love. You knew you did not love her from the start but you stayed with her because of sex. Nonsense !!! You were thinking with your Joystick and not your head. Let's not play innocent Haha Too bad really!!! |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by YemyTemmy: 7:13pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
Abeg no try am ooooooooooo Sit your wife down and talk how you can grow in love with her!!!! Two wifes na hell on earth no matter the level of maturity or understanding of the women, they can live in peace |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by merge(f): 8:05pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
goodjack: I was right on the MONEY !!!! Proof: https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=793246.msg9461749#msg9461749 You married her because she was easy and ignored the women you may have potentially loved because she was not going to give sex easily. Haha !!! When you were bleeping her, you thought you were smart. But now reality kicks in when it too f-ucking late. You were not thinking long term but short term. You lack self-control. I laugh at men that leave good women because of this or worse women they love. Keeping be silly and chasing sex. Marriage is more than about sex selfish bastard. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by itiswell1(m): 8:15pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
Guy, no marry just one more o. Try make them 4. When you dey sleep with the girl, u no know say u no love am. Well, its your life, live it the way you wish. Best of luck. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by merge(f): 8:26pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
it is well: Its not only this bastard life. His actions will affect his wife and children. Most Nigerian men are useless. Most will leave you if you don't give up sex easily. Women who have nothing else to offer than their pussy is what many settle for. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Amya(f): 8:31pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
You made your bed bro. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by tellwisdom: 8:59pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
I am in a very big dilemma. I am a married with 2 lovely kids. I don’t feel happy in my marriage because I can not say that I am madly in love with my young wife. She is very much in love with me but I am very tired of my marriage. Shutup and dont try sounding like a better person!! #Rubbish  |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by seedord247(m): 9:02pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
broo Drink water pia pia.  |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by cynthiafred67(f): 9:34pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
U knew u were not in love with her and u had sex without protection, and after she got pregnant u decided to marry her and still keep her in the dark. She will be somewhere now thinking she is the love of your life And u are just finding out now dat u are unhappy? I think you need help cos there is something wrong with ur brain (No offence) |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by slimyem: 10:26pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
and this is why i'd never stop pitying gurls who get preggys for a guy so he can marry them. Op,marrying one more woman is going to be your disaster. Like amya said,you laid your bed,lay on it and just hope you sleep without nightmares.just hope! |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Beync(f): 10:45pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
This is wat you get for free sex. Now where are those test drivers? Can u all get stucked like dis. Common, has the taste of her kini changed overnight? Or u jus want to drop her for a new kini U better get urself together and start preparing well for the future of those children and stop thinking polygamy our population is not geting better abeg |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Kslib(m): 10:54pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
merge:Exactly!!you've said it all. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Sijo01(f): 11:12pm On Dec 31, 2011 |
freecocoa: wat did daddy says daddy's gurl? op's stil waiting. wel @op, while u wait 4 Cocoa 2get her dad's advice, i will advice u see a marriage councellor, marrying anoda wife is like adding more fuel 2an aready burning fire. two women in one house is d same as cat & rat living in d same house. thank God ur union wit her has produced 2lovely kids, try & concentrate on doz kids, in so doing, it wil make u appreciate ur wife thereby leading 2love. Goodluck without Jonathan 2u. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Nobody: 3:39am On Jan 01, 2012 |
OP the plain truth is that you'd be making a mistake if you act on this your plan. You are married and that'd irreversible. I tell you, you even have it much better than millions that married the loves of their lives and are now enemies. See, it is not feelings that sustains a home and marriage o walahi talahi. Your wife loves you and worships you, my brother God has given you what people are killing themselves over. And one thing I would like you to know is that love is a CHOICE not a FEELING. I promise you that if you that if you see your wife for who she is and appreciate how she handling your home and family you will love her in time. Don't destroy your life by yourself, please I am begging you man to man, father to father, PLEASE don't f.ukc up your life. Eni to lori o ni fila. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Nobody: 3:41am On Jan 01, 2012 |
On second thoughts @Goodjack I think you need someone to knock your head properly. After going through the link @Merge posted I'd say you had it coming. Then again, good thing you decided to marry her cos of the pregnancy. Now, you are daft for wamting to marry another person because of the same s-ex that got you into this mess in the first place. As an educated individual (you claim say you do nysc) it will make sense for you to solve your wife's drop in libido BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY (read, search the internet, get counselling, see a doctor, do something fool). And by thinking of marrying another wife I dont think you have fully put into consideration what effect this will have on your kids, dont f-uck them up man. Problems in marriage are meant to be surmounted not ignored, the more you work things out with your wife the closer you get and the more real love (not all this butterfly heartbeat nonsense) you develop. In conclusion, you were and are not ready for marriage BUT it's not too late to make amends. You owe it to your children and grandchildren. And please while you're at it get some honour and integrity. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by itiswell1(m): 7:44am On Jan 01, 2012 |
Well said fresh dude. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Konnektions146(m): 10:44am On Jan 01, 2012 |
really a pity that yu feel this way but its not a totally bad state, yu can still make it work. u jus t have to work on yurself, find something(s) in yur wife that will so trip yu even if its the love she has for yu. then try show some care and love, pamper her. yu can tranfer and even grow that feelings yu have for the other woman to yur wife. please dont take anoda wife, make this work, i know yu can. wishin yu a great and sweet married life this year 2012. merge:babe, mbok take am easy, how would yu say that?? MOST(greater % of) nigerian men  naa wa oo. i just beg to disagree. if yu have some settlement wit A nigerian MAN, please do and not tryin to paint many others that way, i wish yu well. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by claremont(m): 11:01am On Jan 01, 2012 |
A real man is not measured by the size of his balls, but by the way he handles issues. @OP: Be a man, and talk it through with your wife at least for the sake of the kids. There must be something you still like in her, I hate to believe you totally detest her at the moment. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Russialane(m): 11:05am On Jan 01, 2012 |
@merge thank you , you said exactly what deserve to be said to this guy , he married his wife just because she gave up sex very easily the wife got him just were she wanted him , guy while you were busy F, U, C, K, I, I, IN, G her every night your brain went on french leave now u realize you don't love her after two children abeg u must love her by force yes i said it selfish goat u forgot about 2 innocent children you are about to complicate their live because of your love p, u, s, s, y . use your brain not your d, i, c, k |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Nobody: 1:50pm On Jan 01, 2012 |
There is a disturbing trend on nairaland, and this is the HYPOCRITICALLY RIGHTEOUS CONDEMNATION (HRC) that greets an OP from other foruum members who may strongly disagree with or outrightly detest certain things an OP has been/is involved in(which I have done myself,HRC that is). As far as civilised societies go people can express themselves appropriately and thoroughly without resorting to verbal violence.Some members especially ladies on here have (of course IMO) said/typed things that are just unnecessary. Give advice without bursting a vain in the process, and who knows if this violence has made others stay away and dug themselves deeper in their own mess. We lose nothing by being civil it only strengthens our class. BTW it may interest you to know that such attitude could actually be detrimental to the wife and kids that you so vehemently, aggressively and bitterly support. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Nobody: 1:57pm On Jan 01, 2012 |
@It is well, I see you bruh. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by thehunted(m): 2:34pm On Jan 01, 2012 |
Op, d truth is that people hardly marry cos they love their partners. Rather they marry cos of riches,big bu.tt and big bre.ast. These days women get married to d rich guys while guys marry big bu.u women or sexy women. It is for these silly reasons that marriages dont work nowadays. @merge, Abeg,no dey insult people. U be woman na. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by goodjack(m): 3:19pm On Jan 01, 2012 |
I thank all of you even those that took joy in yabing me. I appreciate your oppinion and will put them into consideration. While reading through, I have decided to try very hard to take her serious but I have a very great pressure to cheat on her which I have not done though. I really love my children and have been taking care of both them and their mother very well but the feeling of marrage love for her is not there. I cant even tell my mother this because she is a very devoted catholic and will have very serious problem if I explain my problem to her. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Ivynwa(f): 3:09am On Jan 02, 2012 |
[s]@Poster It seems to me that you are plain bored and just needing some excitement and finding an excuse with the "I never loved her" story. If it's merely boredom dear find a way to spice up things with your wife. If you are not down with your s*x life overhaul it so that you can get the satisfaction you crave for. Note that it is not abnormal for a man to get stirred up by other women or entertain thoughts of having them. A lot of men experience that too, what differentiates a responsible man from an irresponsible one on that issue is the integrity that makes the responsible one respect his woman and be faithful and not run after other women chasing after his wildest dream. Married couples are always advised to find a way to add fun to their sex life so that the variation and excitement can still make the man feel like he has the Polygamy in his fantasy in the midst of his Monogamy. A kind of wifey finding her way of being all that you need (hey! I didn't mean that she should satisfy perverted whims just some normal fantasies) for example if you long a little freaky dress up here and a little s*x video there. You can introduce it to your wife if you were not doing that together already----just let her be your lil freak and you don't have to start considering polygamy unless the problem is bigger than that.[/s] |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by Ivynwa(f): 3:40am On Jan 02, 2012 |
Quote from: goodjack on November 01, 2011, 09:38 PM Oh gosh, I am just seeing this, did you really do this poster. I should really laugh at you because I belong to the your "so-called-good-girls" group but I still pity your situation. Don't I like it a bit when some bad*ss girls beat you guys to your heartless games just to get called "madam" in as much as i detest all that man-woman drama and game playing. So s*x was all there was to it and now that the s*x is gone, there is nothing left? Why don't you lay the cards on the table to your game partner? A line like "I was trapped by the heavy doses of s*x you give and now that the chain is off me----what are we gonna do about it"? The game gotta have some rules definitely loverboy. You discovered your mistake and you still want to repeat it and run after another "bad girl" (according to you). My friend there's more to a woman than her nether region. How about her heart, her person, her behaviour, her beliefs, her domesticity, aspirations and goals, her outlook to life?------these are the things I should also be looking at when approaching a woman if I were a man. |
| Re: Big Dilemma In Marriage by merge(f): 12:00pm On Jan 02, 2012 |
Ivynwa:True beat at his game. A lot of Nigerian men go for heay sex first in their relationship. These women do this because most have nothing else to offer. They mate with these women. Her genes get passed down to the children to produce the next generations of children and most likely weak women. The cyle repeats. Nigerian men don't know they are being played. Haha Instead of mating with quality women they mate with low quailty women. To me if you mate with low quality women you just got played. Mistress Wife or Baby out of wedlock does not matter. The genes has been passed down. |
(1) (Reply)
hmm / Nigerian Women And Weave On..why Abandon What God Gave You To Look Oyinbo??? / Chicks only!
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 63 |