Most of ♍γ̲̣̣̥ friends are of D̶̲̥̅̊ opinion that it Ȋ̝̊̅§ better to live with A̶̲̥̅̊ younger girl as A̶̲̥̅̊ hsehelp than living with A̶̲̥̅̊ teenager whom U̶̲̥̅̊ pay for her services. I need other pple's opinion with regards to this issue. Thanks

Choose the girl, i am looking for a help but it has to be a kid like 8-10 years old, tbh a teenager may cause problems int he house, human nature may take control and yu dont want any distractions for your husband. JMO

Why would u employ a 10yr old as househelp? That's childlabour. In most cases, those kids are 'sold into slavery' against their wish. U should consider employing persons old enough to decide for themselves. Btw, there's very little a child of 8 or10 can do with respect to house chores.

10 years old - God thank you my daughter was not born into this kind of life.

Why would anyone consider an 8 year old as a househelp - this is 2012 people pls move from this mind set if ur to (lazy) sorry busy to do all ur house chores hire a cleaner you pay properly. tomorrow people will sit in church for 10 hours thinking that is what is how to love ur neighbour

I will go for a 10yrs old i can train to be part of the home than a teenager i dont know the bad habits she has.

​⌣»̶·̵̭̌·̵̭̌✽̤̈̊Ŧђɑ̤̥̈̊п̥̥̲̣̣̣kƨ̣̣̣̇̇̇̇✽̤̈̊·̵̭̌·̵̭̌«̶ pple for Ɣђΰr responses. I have always been of Τ̲̅ђe opinion that hving A̶̲̥̅̊ 10 year old Ȋ̝̊̅§ not adviceable as she Ȋ̝̊̅§ † tender. I'm considering employing A̶̲̥̅̊ tenager Απϑ‎​ also take D̶̲̥̅̊ 10 year old Απϑ‎​ gradually train her.

@poster,younger is better. However,I think 10 or 11years old is too young. They may not be able to even wash their own pants. 13-14 yrs is more like it. U can train them,treat them as family. But 17-18yrs is not advisable. Their schemings r too many n they can even outwit u,unless of course u find a true born again Xtian,which is rare. Goodluck in ur search.

I will need a house help, please can someone share with me how to go about this?  I will be very grateful to you.  I will need an older woman who can cook and can clean and can train me on how to cook and clean with the items that are sold in Nigeria.  I will need an older woman who can go with me to market and show me "how to go to market and what to do while there, how to negotiate and how to select."

I will be very grateful to anyone for any direction and advise they can give to me.  How much to pay such a person.  Lagos based.  Also, I will need her to school me on what is an isn't acceptable in the environment.  (i.e., words, mannerisms, etc.)  She must be able to speak basic English, she doesn't have to be overly educated, just able to communicate with me.  I need her to be able to educate me to the culture.

I prefer her to be an older woman who has a husband and children. (30 years old or older)  I want someone who needs help, we can exchange services and I will pay her money as well.  I can school her and she can school me.  I need someone who I can grow to have a very long connection to, as I will be traveling back and forth from U.S. and Nigeria.  I want someone that I can grow to trust to be loyal and honest and she can trust me that I will not mistreat her and that I will treat her well and will pay her promptly.

why not do the work yourself? 10years is too young to bring in to work for you so is 11years old. get an adult you can pay to do the job.

my sister, help me ask OP. i thot we are done with ''madamism'' and generation of kiddy househelper odikwa serious.

ada24:

10 years old - God thank you my daughter was not born into this kind of life.

Why would anyone consider an 8 year old as a househelp - this is 2012 people pls move from this mind set if your to (lazy) sorry busy to do all your house chores hire a cleaner you pay properly. tomorrow people will sit in church for 10 hours thinking that is what is how to love your neighbour

@Army,it Ȋ̝̊̅§ an issue of madamism as U̶̲̥̅̊ call it. I can do ♍γ̲̣̣̥ house chores comfortably without any help,however,it Ȋ̝̊̅§ necessary for me to have A̶̲̥̅̊ help cos I work Απϑ‎​ I ♓ΑVΞ A̶̲̥̅̊ young child D̶̲̥̅̊a̶̲̥̅̊τ̅ has nt started school, S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡, I need someone who can do D̶̲̥̅̊ chores Απϑ‎​ at Τ̲̅ђe same time take care of D̶̲̥̅̊ baby while I'm at work. If U̶̲̥̅̊ read ♍γ̲̣̣̥ second post, I said Iv decided to employ A̶̲̥̅̊ tenager Απϑ‎​ also take D̶̲̥̅̊ 10 year old Απϑ‎​ gradually train her.
I can't even accept A̶̲̥̅̊ 10 year old as A̶̲̥̅̊ hsehelp cos she simply CANNOT do any work for me hence D̶̲̥̅̊ need for A̶̲̥̅̊ grown up person.

I mean, it Ȋ̝̊̅§ not an issue of Madamism

na wah

It's easy to be judgemental if u're not affected by some situations. I didn't need a househelp until I had my baby. It's not easy taking care of a baby,and doing chores at d same time. One would suffer. My mum is still working,my mum in-law has some businesses to take care of,I live far away in Abuja with no close relative around.
I do shift duty,and I'm yet to see any 24hr creche service where I reside. My husband works long hours,so counting on him is out of it. I also can't tie down neighbours by asking them to take care of my baby while I'm at work.
Employing a help who comes and goes in d evening also doesn't work for me cos of my job. Mature women r good,but they come with baggages of problems- unpaid children school fees,house rent etc. Some even want to live with their kids in ur house.
For d judges,life is not black and white. Some parents willingly send out their kids because they want a better life for them. Some househelps become great in life due to d training they received while serving. Although there r many instances of abuse,there r still some good outcomes.

ayandee:

Why would u employ a 10yr old as househelp?

My sentiment, exactly!
Child labour, if not already illegal in Nigeria, should be made so.

how do those of us manage without househelps - cos employing children is illegal an immoral where I am

just saying

I wish I knew where u wicked women live, I will send NAPTIP to your house. May ur children never be child labourers anywhere. It is illegal to employ a child in Nigeria. God forbid.
I have a 19yr old staying with me who I pay. She is a hardworker but has her issues. I treat her well and overlook d issues and life goes on. She is very good to my kid cos I am good to her.
If ur husband has a tendency to stray, address that issue well not d teenager. I tire for we women. Don't we have kindness abi mother's love is only for our own kids? Children have really suffered.

I remember when I was in JS2, I saw a teacher with her "maid". The "maid" was a girl of about 6 or 7 carrying the teacher's baby. The girl herself was looking like a baby. She could barely carry the plump baby. It made me pray that God allows me own an orphanage for such abused kids.
A neighbour had another one. The girl was so small that she had to climb on a stool to stir the stew on the cooker. She would jump on d clothes in d bath to wash them cos she was just too small. It always made me sad. Children deserve a better life.

blank:

I remember when I was in JS2, I saw a teacher with her "maid". The "maid" was a girl of about 6 or 7 carrying the teacher's baby. The girl herself was looking like a baby. She could barely carry the plump baby. It made me pray that God allows me own an orphanage for such abused kids.
A neighbour had another one. The girl was so small that she had to climb on a stool to stir the stew on the cooker. She would jump on d clothes in d bath to wash them cos she was just too small. It always made me sad. Children deserve a better life.

THANK YOU

I don't know why people think its ok to enslave children cos they are too (lazy) sorry I mean busy to look after their house.

Those that can afford it get cleaners a few days a week. I don't care if you send the house help to a top private school, allow a child to have a childhood. and people should stop pimping out their children to become slaves.

How much will u pay a child to help you, if you need help get a live out nanny or cleaner. I'm annoyed with this topic cos this is how these young girls are exposed to abuse - while ur at work what stops the neighbourhood paedophile from targeting the househelp

chioma134:

It's easy to be judgemental if u're not affected by some situations. I didn't need a househelp until I had my baby. It's not easy taking care of a baby,and doing chores at d same time. One would suffer. My mum is still working,my mum in-law has some businesses to take care of,I live far away in Abuja with no close relative around.
I do shift duty,and I'm yet to see any 24hr creche service where I reside. My husband works long hours,so counting on him is out of it. I also can't tie down neighbours by asking them to take care of my baby while I'm at work.
Employing a help who comes and goes in d evening also doesn't work for me cos of my job. Mature women r good,but they come with baggages of problems- unpaid children school fees,house rent etc. Some even want to live with their kids in your house.
For d judges,life is not black and white. Some parents willingly send out their kids because they want a better life for them. Some househelps become great in life due to d training they received while serving. Although there r many instances of abuse,there r still some good outcomes.

So you will trust a child to care for your baby properly? Why are you angry at people. I too was shocked to read yoru question. It is not about judgement. Even if your husband works 16 hours a day he can come home and take care of your baby. Then you after working your 27 hrs in the day you come home and give him a break. Maybe if people actually took care of their babies themselves they will stop having litters of them. Get an employee that is old enough to handle a baby. She only needs to be there in the hours neither parent is home. When you or your husband gets back home then she can go. That is what it takes to have a child and that is what countless other mothers and fathers do all over the world everyday

@ada24, I will like to know how you manage chores,children Απϑ‎​ work without househelp.
In ♍γ̲̣̣̥ house we wake up as early as 5 am Απϑ‎​ I don't think A̶̲̥̅̊ 10year old can handle waking D̶̲̥̅̊a̶̲̥̅̊τ̅ early. Truth Ȋ̝̊̅§ there Ȋ̝̊̅§ nothing A̶̲̥̅̊ ten year old can do for me aside playing with ♍γ̲̣̣̥ children Απϑ‎​ probably running errands.
Leaving A̶̲̥̅̊ baby with A̶̲̥̅̊ ten year old Ȋ̝̊̅§ out of Τ̲̅ђe question as I CANNOT do that.

whats with all dis preachers if u ve a 10 to 12yrs daughter cant she help u to carry her new sis or bro, or wash plate?

Moreover, Τ̲̅ђe child must go to school Απϑ‎​ I have A̶̲̥̅̊ baby that Ȋ̝̊̅§ yet to start school S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ ΨђåƮ happens to ♍γ̲̣̣̥ baby when I go to work Απϑ‎​ D̶̲̥̅̊ girl goes to school?.I need answers from those that advocate living with A̶̲̥̅̊ ten year old as househelp as against living with an 18years old whom you pay depending ☺ή D̶̲̥̅̊ arrangement.

get an adult

Child abuse/exploitation must never be condoned but a reality check is necessary here.

Some diasporans are always so hoity-toity and judgmental when it comes to certain conversations.

Ah no blame una! Where you are, adult nannies don't connive with drivers to kidnap infants.

In that abroad, adult nannies don't turn your houses into brothels for the local vulcanizer, okada riders and recharge card vendors to come and s h a g them while you are at work and your innocent kids are watching the live p o r n

How many women for abroad have returned home to meet their entire wardrobes and jewelry disappeared by the nanny in connivance with that her 'brother' from the village that visited last Sunday?

Come home first joo and walk the walk make we see!

When you have returned to the realities of life in Nigeria, then we shall see whether all this una grandstanding will survive the harsh reality of being a working parent in a dysfunctional Third World society like Nigeria.

@blacklion thanx, d dont know the state of things in naija dat why d re talking. I will always go for a small girl anyda

I live and work in Lagos not diaspora anything. I do not condone getting a little kid 2 come live with u and be your kids "nanny". IT IS ILLEGAL IN NIGERIA. Get an adult that u pay. It is your job to screen them so u hire a good one. It took me two months to find a suitable one and I have taken d appropriate steps to stop her from unruly behaviours. We can only do our best and leave d rest 2 God.
We are planning on getting someone else to act as a check esp when we get another kid. Just have kindness. Don't enslave kids, it is not legal and not moral. Why not help d kid without bringing her to work for you?

@Blacklion,i'm in naija and have 3 boys  all below 4 years.I don't have a live-in help.

The help is a 22 yrs old female undergraduate.My boys leave school/Crech by 4pm and that is when her work starts (monday to friday),she works from 4pm to 8pm and i get back home between 5pm to 7pm depending on my schedule.On saturdays,she works from 7am to 12pm and her pay is 20K.I have cameras installed and very proud to say that i've not been disappointed.she's been behaving well.

She is happy,I'm very satisfied.Point is,regardless of where u live,if u  decide on NOT enslaving another womans child cos u have the means or feel you are doing her a favour,u can!
Forget all this story of "I would put her in school,she is just there to play with my kids" all are booolsheet.Bottomline is,wud you let your OWN 8-15 yrs child live with another person,afterall the person wud put him/her in school,treat her well

slave trade has been abolished but slave mentality and spirit still thrives in us.Tufia!

Pls slavery is when u force smone against their wish not when a child is happy staying with u. She can go if the want to

Ify those cameras will put you inside trouble one day, your kids will catch you doing the undoables with mr ify one day. No be my mouth you go hear am from. Ehn I don tok, a word they say is enough for the shaGGERS wise.

I rest my case, I am a bit concerned about your reputation

ng4am:

Pls slavery is when u force smone against their wish not when a child is happy staying with u. She can go if the want to

of course they are "HAPPY" - the reason anyone would want a small child as househelp is cos its cheper than employing an adult.

I had a house help until I was in my teens and I still think its wrong - only difference she was a grown adult living with us here in england.

If you need someone to sweep - get a hoover, clothes washed - a washing machine. modern technology has made life easier for us women - abeg.

If you had a daughter ask yourself would you feel ok in your heart of hearts if she went to live with someone else to just "help out" as you put it. I have a little girl and the thought of her doing what you are suggesting here in someone's house does not even bear me thinking - I can feel my BP rising just thinking of it. Get an adult - if you don't trust ur husband around an older girl/woman - address that not hire a child. sorry if i seem judgemental but a lot of these children are being abused daily and it breaks my heart to think childhoods are being lost cos parents are pimping out their kids for a few naira.