He is my first and only true love. He was my rock, and he stood by me through some of the toughest times in my life. We dated for 2 years and broke up about a year ago. The break up was painful for both of us.
 
  We've always had our cultural differences(I'm Nigerian, he's German). But the main reason why we broke up was his phobia for long term commitment. He dreaded the word "marriage" like a plaque. He wanted us to be partners with kids but not married. And I said no.

  Recently he's been acting all nice, checking on me regularly and sending gifts. We had a long chat yesterday and he wants me back. Said he has changed his mind about commitment. I asked why the change of mind now, and he said that then his Msc was really demanding and he wasn't thinking well. Now that he's done and has gotten a job, his priorities have changed.

Should I believe him? When men say they don't want to get married, they hardly change their mind. I'm kinda worried.


Pls drop your opinions. Matured and responsible people only. . .Tnx

he s realized he lost a gem, if u still love him, get back n seal things

Thx Dyt and Sijo.

Nobody thinks otherwise?

chuckles
mayb he misses ur punny den n d way u handle his d1ck n balls

Dyt:

chuckles
mayb he misses ur punny den n d way u handle his d1ck n balls

LWKMD

Maybe. Maybe not.

Well its up to u. But as for me i dnt think he still wants a long term commitment, he just misses ur company and d gud tym n d fond memories.

The breakup was good. Now i will say he really knows what he wants. Give him a chance. Change is constant.

Insightful responses so far. But I'm wondering why the guys are silent on this

I'm usually an apostle of not going back to exes but this case is different. A year is a long time for him to change.
If it were earlier, I would have advised you to be weary. However, I still think you guys are different and this may come
back to bite you in future. Try pray over it.

It's still your decision to make as women are not wired logically.

Godspeed!!!

[size=13pt]<sup>La Parisienne my dear i understood how u feeling - everyone deserves a second chance. But you also need to honor the voice inside your head that is afraid of being hurt by this guy again--that voice is there to protect you. Since I don't have all the details about what went down between you two during that first breakup, it's best for you to use that voice as a guide. (( That is if u still love him )) - Don't rush back into a relationship just because he's gotten over whatever went down the first time. I huge u should find good time together and talk it out in a silent place -so, know if he's really back for u and ready to marry u as he said .

The two of you need to resolve the trust issues that exist between you in a mature way, and the best way to do that is to take things slowly and not rush into dating again. . . but , u can keep him if your inner heart convince he's really back for u and never to return or hurt u and your desire to build the relationship .</sup> [/size]

The fear of commitment is a big thing. You don't want someone who'll just be stringing you along and not wanting to commit. He said he has changed and that could be true. Only you know him best. If you give him another chance and start having doubts once more, then you should take the cue. Don't be afraid to go with your instincts and do what's best for you.

Dude sounds like he's being for real. I don't see any reason to doubt him-yet.

But you guys shouldn't be focusing on marriage and all that. Just chill and enjoy the new relationship and see how it goes.

Give him another chance am sure he still occupies a place in ur heart. His change seems genuine.but the major thing is ur happiness is key

[size=13pt]<sup>My dear you shouldn' conclude on that kind of statement -- saying dude sound like he's for real i wonder if u ever know him before? anyway , one can never tell the author of the thread knows best i believe if he's real with all the responds so far he'll learn how .

really wish their relationship goes well again and more stronger . . . ^^</sup> [/size]

kelz88:

Dude sounds like he's being for real. I don't see any reason to doubt him-yet.

Duhhh. . . . .hence the "yet". I'm only going by the info OP has given.

[size=13pt]^{he he he^^ i just hope so ooh -- According to the poster info i scent she really need to settle down with a lifetime partner . errrr. . . one year is not late though . . .}
[/size]

kelz88:

Duhhh. . . . .hence the "yet". I'm only going by the info OP has given.

Nah friendly match he wan play jor, Like somebody do??

Ogaga4Luv:

[size=13pt]<sup>La Parisienne my dear i understood how u feeling - everyone deserves a second chance. But you also need to honor the voice inside your head that is afraid of being hurt by this guy again--that voice is there to protect you. Since I don't have all the details about what went down between you two during that first breakup, it's best for you to use that voice as a guide. (( That is if u still love him )) - Don't rush back into a relationship just because he's gotten over whatever went down the first time.  I huge u should find good time together and talk it out in a silent place  -so, know if he's really back for u and ready to marry u as he said .

The two of you need to resolve the trust issues that exist between you in a mature way, and the best way to do that is to take things slowly and not rush into dating again. . . but , u can keep him if your inner heart convince he's really back for u and never to return or hurt u and your desire to build the relationship .</sup> [/size]

He has never hurt me. He just didn't want to get married then and I respected his judgement, that's why I ended it. The break up was painful cos we truly loved each other, but it wasn't messy with catfights.

The grass hasn't really been greener on the other side for me either lol. I've thoroughly searched my heart, still have love for him. If I decide to give him another chance, I'll take my time before commiting again.

Tnx people . More responses are welcomed.

@richy:

Nah friendly match he wan play jor, Like somebody do??

Huh

Ofcourse! Give him another chance dearie

[size=13pt]<sup>I was like him refusing not to marry u then hurts your heart somehow -- of course it does hurt u because marriage is what u need my dear . nice to see he's not that type of man that mess around the hood with other damsels . Now, i huge u should sting to him if u really LOVE each other . . . try to express yourself so profound about what u think to him .

Yeah --- this second chance you've given him i believe you'll see the great difference i strongly believe dear friend . -- bonne chance a vous</sup>
[/size]

La Parisienne:


He has never hurt me. He just didn't want to get married then and I respected his judgement, that's why I ended it. The break up was painful cos we truly loved each other, but it wasn't messy with catfights.

The grass hasn't really been greener on the other side for me either lol. I've thoroughly searched my heart, still have love for him. If I decide to give him another chance, I'll take my time before commiting again.

Tnx people . More responses are welcomed.

[size=13pt]^{I support ---} [/size]

This-is Cee:

Ofcourse! Give him another chance dearie

nooooo
dont give him anoda chance
he s a bad man
he jst wants 2 use u
chase him off

Dyt:

nooooo
dont give him anoda chance
he s a bad man
he jst wants 2 use u
chase him off

Lol babe, I know you wish me well

Ogaga4Luv:

[size=13pt]<sup>I was like him refusing not to marry u then hurts your heart somehow -- of course it does hurt u because marriage is what u need my dear .  nice to see he's not that type of man that mess around the hood with other damsels . Now, i huge u should sting to him if u really LOVE each other . . . try to express yourself so profound about what u think to him .

Yeah --- this second chance you've given him i believe you'll see the great difference i strongly believe dear friend . -- bonne chance a vous</sup> 
[/size]

Gotcha, thx.

Autrement dire, tu est en France non?

[size=13pt]<sup>D. Y .T darling u are kidding me here  --- anyway , i already read your previous comment u didn't sound like this . unless u are seeking my attention  now u got it  

how are u doing been a while now u didn't care to chat with me?</sup>  [/size]

Dyt:

nooooo
dont give him anoda chance
he s a bad man
he jst wants 2 use u
chase him off

op u want harsh responses na

ogaga darlin, u ran away frm me jor

[size=13pt]^{Mon plaisir mon cher ami, oui je vis en France. J'ai connu, vous pouvez parler FRANÇAIS comme moi LOL}   [/size]

La Parisienne:

Gotcha, thx.

Autrement dire, tu est en France non?

Ogaga4Luv:

[size=13pt]^{Mon plaisir mon cher ami, oui je vis en France. J'ai connu, vous pouvez parler FRANÇAIS comme moi LOL}   [/size]

D'accord.

Dyt followed you here, pls give her attention

[size=13pt]^{oh no darling dunno even think so i didn't run from u nahh  --- was like u went on leave or kinda too busy in some other threads out there . how about meeting me on facebook I'll be so pleased to meet u there u know quit alright here is to open. . . darling i care so much i didn't really run away -- common , u knpw that can't happen}   [/size]

Dyt:


ogaga darlin, u ran away frm me jor

I think u should give him a second chance if you really love him.