For the sake of privacy, I will give my friend the name Tomato for this thread.

Tomato met Onions on Facebook and they got very close and fond of each other. Tomato and Onions live in separate countries. They are matured, comfortable and pretty much happy people.

Onions processed all her traveling documents and she got a visiting visa to the UK. She was meant to spend a week with him but I think they enjoyed each other so much that she ended up spending 2 weeks there. She was in her safe period or so she thought when she made the trip. They had regular sex without protection probably because of trust & likeness or it’s very likely they used protection the first day but decided to throw caution to the wind after they were used to each other or must have conducted a test or something; I mean blood test is quite cheap and fast. Its also likely she used expired contraceptives (sorry for all these assumptions, I am just trying to figure out how a baby found its way in there).

Anyways she told me she enjoyed her trip, the guy took very good care of her, he shopped for clothes for her, he took her places and she met most of his friends. She said she didn’t want to leave because she was having the best time of her life (the evidence was there when she returned).

Sadly, the vacation came to a halt after 2 weeks. He saw her off to the airport and waited till she boarded her flight. He slipped money in an envelope into her hands but she gave it back to him because he meant more than that to her(I felt it was a test to see the kind of lady she was or something, only God knows).

She has been back to her base for 2 months now. She was falling ill and couldn’t do her normal activities so she was rushed to the clinic. The test result shows she is 2 months pregnant. Onions and she didn’t define their relationship; it was more of a fling.

Abortion is legalized here and very safe. Should she remove the baby? Should she tell Onions? Should she let him decide the next move? She doesn’t want to seem like she is tying him down as she is an independent lady. Remember she told him she was in her safe period, won’t he think the baby is not his and how does she explain finding out 2 months after? I mean didn’t she not noticed she had missed her period except of course the theory that you can be pregnant while menstruating is true.

They talk regularly, I think he is meant to come and visit her during summer. But he has not expressed his intentions towards her, though he acts the boyfriend role but what if he doesn’t want commitments. She was just enjoying the role he was playing pending when she meets her future hubby or Onions becomes her future hubby naturally or mutually without force or circumstances beyond their control. She was comfortable with what they had, she never acted like she wanted more because when we (her girlfriends) queried her, she would just reply that what they have is better than being single and things would sort itself out,   

I was at her place yesterday and couldn’t come up with any solid advice for her. The doctors said she can do an abortion now at the early stage. So what should she do? If I was the one I will tell him O, the guy is fine, comfortable, classy, intelligent and not married. But she is from a polygamous home with a lot of nasty experiences so she doesn’t want any shortcuts that would ruin her in future. What should she do? Or is it possible she got pregnant on purpose? I don't still get how a lady wont know she is months gone. What if the guy denies the baby?

(PLEASE NO INSULTS, LETS ADDRESS IT MATURELY. I HAD TO GATHER ENOUGH LIVER TO POST THIS TOPIC BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO ADVICE WRONGLY & ABORTION IS A SERIOUS SIN BUT ?, BEFORE GOD & MAN, THE STORY IS REAL).

Onions and tomato haba so confusing. Moreover me think say na u get d belle.
As for me abortion is nt an option wateva d situation.

Congratulations

If you abort that innocent baby, thunder fire U!

bekay911:

Onions and tomato haba so confusing. Moreover me think say na u get d belle.
As for me abortion is nt an option wateva d situation.

deniyor:

Congratulations

I have changed the title to "her". No be my portion in this manner. @bekay, so what should she do then how does she tell a guy she had a fling with that she is pregnant with his baby.

Abortion is a terrible experience. Why not hold on first and tell the supposed father of the baby. His response will tell her whether to go ahead with this decision or not. She will also see his true colors. YoUr friend too is to blame because she and her guy do not actually communicate properly. A healthy relationship is based hugely on communication. If they both knew where they stand in each other's lifes then there would not be confusion as to whether top keep the baby or not.

Abortion for me, is not a crime. But it becomes one when both parties are not involved in the decision making process. I believe in truth and honesty at all times hence my advice to the lady is to simply tell the guy the truth and let him decide. U will see i said him in this case. Yep, because he felt it was safe and wasnt expecting this, so the lady owes him.

If he says nope, I dont want it,  well there's ur answer. But in telling him, care must be taken by the lady to profusely apologise and let him understand that this was not a ploy to trap him which is why she will do anything he says because, if he suspects it was, GAME OVER FINALLY. If he believes it wasn't a ploy, there's hope, she may not need to abort and it may end up like the fairy tales. Its not impossible that she got pregnant on purpose bt do u think she would ask for advice if she did? She'd already know what she wants to do.

SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE THE BABY IF THE MAN SAYS NOOOOOOO,

Did u say she is 'matured' ? . .If yes, then she should pls, pls and please be matured enough to allow that baby into this world. And pls, ask her to leave abortion out of the issue. On the other hand, tomato should tell it to onion, cos both of them are the co-joined ingredients that made up the stew [baby].

ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!
she doesnt know this stranger, was fooolish enough to spread her legs unprotected, now she should NOT make another mistake.
she should tell the guy about it, ABORT, then get to know this guy better (no LDR) then, if down the line they really are fond of one another, they should possibly move together (or get married) and have that baby. . . . . . . .but only if they both decide that this is what they want.

getting married to a stranger (or having a baby by him) is not only wrong but a sure way to fail!!!!

Ranoscky:

Did u say she is 'matured' ? . .If yes, then she should pls, pls and please be matured enough to allow that baby into this world. And pls, ask her to leave abortion out of the issue. On the other hand, tomato should tell it to onion, cos both of them are the co-joined ingredients that made up the stew [baby].

oh my ribs. u made my sat

Tell her to tell d guy and let fate determine tHe future.I know d guy will want her.no abortion pls.

abortion is not 100% safe
it is a sin
you can only kill the body but you cant kill the soul.
EVEN IF ONION DENY/REJECT THE PREGNANCY, LET THE CHILD LIVE!

op so u r a tomoato
tell onion first before disposing stew into the garbage. next time use olive oil to cook, its healther

MRbrownJAY:

ABORT ABORT ABORT!!!!!!!
she doesnt know this stranger, was fooolish enough to spread her legs unprotected, now she should NOT make another mistake.
she should tell the guy about it, ABORT, then get to know this guy better (no LDR) then, if down the line they really are fond of one another, they should possibly move together (or get married) and have that baby. . . . . . . .but only if they both decide that this is what they want.

getting married to a stranger (or having a baby by him) is not only wrong but a sure way to fail!!!!

and they wonder why sti's are so rampant

If tomato + onions = cuddlemii

find the value of cuddlemii. . . . .

using pemdas formula . . . . .

First: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Second: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Third: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Fourth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Fifth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Sixth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Seventh: She better keep the baby, May your soul burn in hell FOREVER if you Murder your baby. Things will work out.

Eighth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Nineth: Do not abort beeeaaacccchhhh

Tenth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant.

Cuddlemmi = Adviser.

25omega:

and they wonder why sti's are so rampant

or why so many single mothers are all around us.

seedord247:

If tomato + onions = cuddlemii

find the value of cuddlemii. . . . .

using pemdas formula . . . . .

First: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Second: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Third: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Fourth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Fifth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Sixth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Seventh: She better keep the baby, May your soul burn in hell FOREVER if you Murder your baby. Things will work out.

Eighth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant

Nineth: Do not abort beeeaaacccchhhh

Tenth: She should have thought about that before you got pregnant.

Cuddlemmi = Adviser.

Lmao, this is crazzzzzzyyyyy,

@op,I think she should just inform the guy about it ; they both made the baby. Her decision can then be based on the outcome of their conversation and whatever suits her.

On a lighter note, did you think stating that this is a true life story would have any effect on the comments of nairalanders?? I think not, lol

I read this and really feel for this lady, though it was a fling for both mr onion and mrs tomato but sometimes people seems to forget that, fling sometimes could lead to something hard to sovle! The fun have resulted to a problem for mrs tomato simply because she believe am in my safe period and mr onion knows that too, so believe me Mrs friend of tomoto, no man would ever believe the preg was his because due to what mrs tomato except if the guy was pyschologically wide in reasoning before acting! I wouldn't advice that mrs tomato should go for abortion first, what if the baby was meant to serve some purpose in both mr onion and mrs tomato life, to help them figure out something that its more than fling, thank God they are both matured and pretty single, he should try as much as possible to let the guy know what is happening before taken any further step, preg is not a sin and God may never forgive your friend if something should happen to the unborn baby and abortion will always be a sword mark in peoples heart that have sin by killing a young soul, not only people that kill in broad day light will bear the mark but also the people that abort!, So tell her to make a bold step to let mr onion know what is happening. Just my opinion.

Any decisions she makes is strictly up to her.  I understand people are into meeting online and traveling for sex, but AIDS/STD's are real and she should have protected herself.  It would have been better if she kept her legs closed, but I am being realistic knowing not everyone waits until marriage.  

When it all boils down, she is not married and it is her body. She has to live with any decisions she chooses.

If she is religious/spiritual, she need to confer with God and seek the best option from HE.  

Wish her good luck for me.

@claramount! If abortion is not. A sin, then what is it? A gift of life for people to perish innocent soul, if people are not ready, why venture into something they can't handle

~Killz~:

And how else is God supposed to "speak" with her? She has a brain and commonsense. Why should she be shy or lazy to use it?

Again, I said if she is RELIGIOUS/SPIRITUAL then she can confer with God.   
Everyone's relationship with or without God is different.  I don't know how HE would speak to her but I am sure she would get more clarity if she seek POSITIVE CONFESSIONS than some suggestions from Nairaland.

Common sense isn't common these days.  Are you saying I should use condoms with my husband?

everything with nig is religion. wetin concern baba Jesus with this matter. if she wants to abort nothing in that as long as she does it at this early stage and everyone moves on. if not that the op brought it up here, no one would ever find out. a lot of pple do these things so wetin big for dt? then those pple insult fling or sleeping with stranger, like serious in this century where adults exist! i dnt see a big deal in that op said they r matured and comfortable. op also said they might have ran a test before sex. i suspect they are destined for themselves. my spirti tells me they might get married, onions would accept the baby for reals

@killz, leave the dude

~Killz~:

Spontaenous Abortion is one thing, Deliberate Abortion is another. . .

You dont need to be an atheist to spot the difference. . . Jeez!

So you mean it is perfectly okay for spontaneous abortions to occur, but it is a sin for someone to deliberately induce abortions?! In other words, according to your own way of thinking, it is perfectly okay for a foetus to die on its own, than for it to be extinguished in favour of its mother.

I believe everyone can now see the reason why I say religion does make supposedly good people say/do bad things. I rest my case.

@op i wish u a safe delivery, i hope u give birth to a bouncing hermaphrodite, nonsense!!