Sagamite:

Your point is?

How is it more beneficial to the man if what he wants to do (naturally) is freely play away from home? Or even play in the home with as many willing participating players but marriage is stifling that option?

You think if marriage was not that beneficial to the women, they would not leave it when these men play away from home? You think they are altruistically staying? Was that how altruistic they were when they were in their youth, seriously hot and having their future ahead of them?

How many women do you know that have nothing to lose who hang around with a man that has nothing to offer them or treats them unfairly or they do not love anymore?

If you bothered to dig into women who stay in abusive marriages, most do so because they do not want their children to go through not having a father figure in their lives. Lets get real... women are not some alien demons seeking to ruin men solely for the fun of it. A tree doth not a forest make.

davidylan:

This is so cynical and wrong that i dont even know where to start from to rebut it. I think that on this issue, you have convinced yourself that your misconceptions are actual facts.

Mate, I study women very deeply. Trust me.

The fact of not being in shape or remain attractive is a natural fact that cannot be disputed and which one cannot mainly blame them for. That does not mean the outcome is still not something that leads to diminished desire in men. That is also something one cannot blame men for. It is life.

As for personality, personally, I have never seen any living thing as selfish as women. Women tend to be considerate mainly when they are likely to face calumny. If not, trust me, they will frequently find any illogicality and even self-deluding lies to justifying the worst of their behaviours without any contrition. Their emotions wipe out any sense of logicality and they act in almost utter self-interest. There is a reason why they don't usually get along with each other in all parts of the world.

I am not saying this as an attack on females or to provoke arguments. Honestly, they are extremely selfish and one should never bury his head when relating with them. They are evolutionarily programmed to look out for their best interest far more than men. You are safe when they love you because you are part of their interest, when they do not is when your women-awareness and diligence level would count the most.

I study this beings in detail and they rarely ever prove me wrong. At least the NL women I chat with off-NL would support me on that. Everything I predict about them tends to be right, especially the "women tend to break their own words".

davidylan:

If you bothered to dig into women who stay in abusive marriages, most do so because they do not want their children to go through not having a father figure in their lives. Lets get real... women are not some alien demons seeking to ruin men solely for the fun of it. A tree doth not a forest make.

Trust me, add the fact that they know they would struggle to find a new partner (who is on par with current one or better) too.

If majority of women can remain as beautiful as J.Lo in middle age and hence remain desirable, trust me, they would be like J.Lo and would not be hanging around even if there was no infidelity.

Beauty brings power to them. And power tends to bring out the worst of their selfishness. There are nice beautiful girls (and I have met some), but most nice girls are the ones compensating for looks or aesthetic insecurities.

I don't hate or dislike them, I just know them. That knowledge I try and use to build my self-interest.

Sagamite:
The fact of not being in shape or remain attractive is a natural fact that cannot be disputed and which one cannot mainly blame them for. That does not mean the outcome is still not something that leads to diminished desire in men. That is also something one cannot blame men for. It is life.

As for personality, personally, I have never seen any living thing as selfish as women. Women tend to be considerate mainly when they are likely to face calumny. If not, trust me, they will frequently find any illogicality and even self-deluding lies to justifying the worst of their behaviours without any contrition. Their emotions wipe out any sense of logicality and they act in almost utter self-interest. There is a reason why they don't usually get along with each other in all parts of the world.

I am not saying this as an attack on females or to provoke arguments. Honestly, they are extremely selfish and one should never bury his head when relating with them. They are evolutionarily programmed to look out for their best interest far more than men. You are safe when they love you because you are part of their interest, when they do not is when your women-awareness and diligence level would count the most.

Trust me, add the fact that they know they would struggle to find a new partner (who is on par with current one or better) too.

If majority of women can remain as beautiful as J.Lo in middle age and hence remain desirable, trust me, they would be like J.Lo and would not be hanging around even if there was no infidelity.

Beauty brings power to them. And power tends to bring out the worst of their selfishness. There are nice beautiful girls (and I have met some), but most nice girls are the ones compensating for looks or aesthetic insecurities.

Hard to disagree with these assertions. Even in marriage, some of those traits tend to surface in women.
I'd also add that, any fella who is extremely devoted to a woman to the point of extreme selflessness might end up losing a lot of his self-esteem.
By the time they deploy their games ans wiles, they'd have you twisted in knots. Love them, yeah, but know them inside out.

AjanleKoko:

Hard to disagree with these assertions. Even in marriage, some of those traits tend to surface in women.
I'd also add that, any fella who is extremely devoted to a woman to the point of extreme selflessness might end up losing a lot of his self-esteem.
By the time they deploy their games ans wiles, they'd have you twisted in knots. Love them, yeah, but know them inside out.

Ah, any man wey no wan open ear hear, make im no hear.

Let them be ignoring the obvious so as not to upset women. I am very aware of women and I manage and hedge the risk in my best interest.

I will NEVER bury my head in the sand.

Fundamentally, I know when a woman loves me, she would most likely give me her all. But I also know when she stops loving me, it is possible I would be on par with her shyt and she would be willing to do any bad thing she has previously condemned and said she would never do. She would do it with no contrition, that is a possibility or even, in some cases, eventuality, I need to prepare myself for and protect my self-interest before it gets to that point.

- Women have very little contrition when they do bad and face no calumny.
- Women have an infinite capacity to justify breaking their word, promises and doing wrong.
- Women don't understand and cannot comprehend the meaning of fair.
- Women constantly look out for their self-interest as premier interest, if you are not part of her interest, she does not care much.
- Power brings out the worst in women, and they have no contrition when they use it unfairly ala https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

If u don't know the essence of marriage u will never know its worth

Sagamite:

Western women don't tend to stay if they are younger or if the cheating is rampant.

Another thing is that Western women don't tend to stay because divorce can be used as a revenge tool. There is a strong correlation between high divorce rates and Western countries that are generous to women during divorce. Women in countries like Italy are less likely to divorce than those in the UK which is known as the divorce heaven for women in Europe. And trust me, Italian men are the Kings of randy.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate

You are actually agreeing with me. Your assumption was Women generally would stay in marriages, because marriages are beneficial to women. And I made reference to the society these women find themselves being a defining factor to why they would stay and not because they actually benefit from a marriage that cause them emotional abuse. Italy has a more than considerable catholic population in comparison to the UK and you know how Catholics are adverse to divorce compared to protestants.

That said, most divorced Western women (at least UK ones) generally tend to be bitter women because they can't move as easily to other meaningful relationship as the men can. The men only get bitter because they are robbed. Which is one of the reasons why men in the Western don't leave relationships. What is happening now though is that many Western men are refusing to get married in the first place. Their refusal is the core reason for the increase in co-habitation.

As for Africa, many men do leave. Because you don't here of divorce does not mean that it is still a functional marriage. Secondly, the ones that don't leave are probably not leaving because they tend to be able to do whatever they want to do so the marriage is not an inhibition.

From my own research, especially in domestic violence cases, what you always find out it's the woman that has to stand up for herself first to initiate the divorce, even in Africa. Men in Africa, don't need a paper or court proceedings to separate from their wives, yes, because here they can do as a like. But isn't it ironical, that you have purported a stance that men are caged in marriage, but as we can all see African men are not inhibited in marriages. Which is to say they have actually benefited more from marriage than women. Most abused women in Nigeria would tell you they stayed for their kids. I've heard uncountable women say if not that I had kids for this man I would have been long gone.

Sagamite:

Trust me, add the fact that they know they would struggle to find a new partner (who is on par with current one or better) too.
If majority of women can remain as beautiful as J.Lo in middle age and hence remain desirable, trust me, they would be like J.Lo and would not be hanging around even if there was no infidelity.

Beauty brings power to them. And power tends to bring out the worst of their selfishness. There are nice beautiful girls (and I have met some), but most nice girls are the ones compensating for looks or aesthetic insecurities.

I don't hate or dislike them, I just know them. That knowledge I try and use to build my self-interest.

I doubt when women come to the tether ends of a marriage that's on the edge of sucking the life out of them, what they are thinking about is something as rudimentary as 'getting a new man'. Long before J.Lo was a trail blazer and was a nobody she had already divorced a husband, so I doubt J.Lo's issue is based on her 'aesthetic features'. Maybe she just can't take nonsense.

You think if marriage was not that beneficial to the women, they would not leave it when these men play away from home? You think they are altruistically staying? Was that how altruistic they were when they were in their youth, seriously hot and having their future ahead of them?

So women are not entitled to commit stupid things as youth? Didn't you do stupid things as a teen or early 20's? Don't young boys use girls as they like? Didn't guys have a clique where the aim was just to sleep with all and sundry? Isn't it funny that you yourself can attest that women at least grow out of these stunts (although you want to ridicule this maturity to something as petty as not having the same good looks) , but men still like to hang on the threadbare of their teenage existence with your claims of 'freedom'?

stillwater:

You are actually agreeing with me. Your assumption was Women generally would stay in marriages, because marriages are beneficial to women. And I made reference to the society these women find themselves being a defining factor to why they would stay and not because they actually benefit from a marriage that cause them emotional abuse. Italy has a more than considerable catholic population in comparison to the UK and you know how Catholics are adverse to divorce compared to protestants.

I am not really agreeing with you.

I don't think you have factored in the many women in unhappy marriage even in the West that stick with it. There are many of them, they are just far less than in places like Africa.

You also have not considered a significant proportion of this women go through divorce after uncovering repeated infidelity or prolonged infidelity. There are several that sit tight if it is just a simple casual affair.

Another thing is the utter policy imbalance that trigger the difference with Africa, the ability to have some form of revenge. A proportion of women taking this option might just be being hot-headed and want retribution, not like if they do not want to be in marriage.

The fact there remains that women are the ones that want commitment the most. Marriage is one of the apex forms of commitment and, even in Western society, remains a strong judgement tool of a woman's value by the average and unrefined mind (hence majority of the population). Even Western women look down on other women without marriage and without kids, so marriage does mean a lot to most women. Women, on average, have less capacity to deal with criticism and calumny than men. We should not even go to the point of increasing age decreasing their ability to have a wide pool and select the men they desire the most. While some of the men even become more desirable with age.

You are right Italy's Catholicism plays a role in limiting divorces there but that said, divorce is higher in European countries where the law is bias in favour of women and countries where social welfare is very generous to women (e.g. Scadinavian countries where gender affirmative actions are exist and social welfare is extremely high) than in countries that are less like that.

stillwater:
From my own research, especially in domestic violence cases, what you always find out it's the woman that has to stand up for herself first to initiate the divorce, even in Africa. Men in Africa, don't need a paper or court proceedings to separate from their wives, yes, because here they can do as a like. But isn't it ironical, that you have purported a stance that men are caged in marriage, but as we can all see African men are not inhibited in marriages. Which is to say they have actually benefited more from marriage than women. Most abused women in Nigeria would tell you they stayed for their kids. I've heard uncountable women say if not that I had kids for this man I would have been long gone.

I am not talking about domestic violence.

Any woman with a brain will leave a physically abusive marriage especially in the West. And I have absolutely zero pity for those that do not leave except they are in some third world or Islamic country where they face serious consequences.

If your husband beats you in the West and you decide to stay, that na your wahala. Sagamite really does not care and Sagamite does not believe in introducing stewpid laws that abuse the right of men to protect such dumb women who cannot utilise existing good laws.

African men that exploit the marriage situation and the wives give them the freedom obviously benefit more from the marriage but the reality is that majority of African men are not in that position. Majority still have to be discrete and have silent women elsewhere even though they want to have multiple women. That is why someone like Kenya's president's wife would go and attack someone else. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/7143097.stm She really has nowhere to go, so she takes what she can get.

The wife benefits because she can still safe some face and the concubine benefits because she is showered with finances to take the discrete position.

stillwater:
I doubt when women come to the tether ends of a marriage that's on the edge of sucking the life out of them, what they are thinking about is something as rudimentary as 'getting a new man'. Long before J.Lo was a trail blazer and was a nobody she had already divorced a husband, so I doubt J.Lo's issue is based on her 'aesthetic features'. Maybe she just can't take nonsense.

Yeah, she divorced a husband partly mostly because she was hot and could do better. If she was not incredibly hot, she would sit tight. Nonsense or no nonsense.

You think if she was not sizzling hot and had kids for him, she would be jumping from man to man?

You think Adele or even Renee Zellweger can try such?

stillwater:
So women are not entitled to commit stupid things as youth? Didn't you do stupid things as a teen or early 20's? Don't young boys use girls as they like? Didn't guys have a clique where the aim was just to sleep with all and sundry? Isn't it funny that you yourself can attest that women at least grow out of these stunts (although you want to ridicule this maturity to something as petty as not having the same good looks) , but men still like to hang on the threadbare of their teenage existence with your claims of 'freedom'?

Didn't I do stupid things in my youth?

Not really?

I was a straight-lace, good and considerate boy. I have always broken rules that restrict results I want or do not make sense to me, right from being a kid. That is just me, I BREAK RULES! I always evaluate rules intellectually to see if it makes sense or gets results, I don't just follow it blindly because it is there. In boarding school, I was a good boy but if I was hungry and needed quality food, I would break the rules and go out of the school compound without permission. Fck the rules in such situation when you are giving me poor quality food and it is not enough. I did not engage in dumb things like riot or beating a junior student silly though. I never even beat a junior for not doing my bidding in my entire time in school, I only beat one that stole something valuable from me despite being under my protection.

No, I did not do stupid things in youth.

I don't smoke, and I have never tried it.

I don't drink, and I have never tried it.

I don't gamble, and I have never tried it.

I don't have tattoes, and I have never tried it.

I don't take drugs, and I have never tried it.

I don't have a kid outside wedlock [size=4pt]that I am aware off[/size], but I have tried it and Jesus always saves me. Mo bor lowo won (I escaped from their clutches), no one is making me pay child support. Amen!

I have never been to prison or court, and they have never tried to take me there.

I have always had my head screwed on all my life. Priorities are always clear and straight; I have always been studious, hard-working, efficient, reliable, responsible, legal etc.

I can't speak for other guys. That na dem wahala. I am straight and don't care about them. Moreso as guys always get along very fine with each other.

I care about women though as those are the ones I have to deal with. I have no options.

It just happens that this maturity normally comes when the looks disappear. Women that are 30 something that are still hot tend to not have the maturity. So the maturity is not a factor of age, it is a factor of power. The power disappears, Whaaalaaa! she becomes mature.

- If your silliness negatively impacts me, then don't expect me to be considerate towards you.
- If you are silly when you have more to offer me, don't demand I am not silly when you have less to offer me.
- If you had power and use it fully to your benefit, don't cry wolf when others have the power and use it fully to their benefit.

https://www.nairaland.com/1012348/parents-how-teach-daughters-self-esteem/4#11750533
https://www.nairaland.com/1012348/parents-how-teach-daughters-self-esteem/4#11752694

Come Sagamite who would reply all these you wrote on Christmas Eve? Sorry I have a party to attend soon.

Besides Renee Zellweggar instigated the annulment of her marriage to Kenny Chesney, started dating Bradley Cooper, a more sexy, good looking, younger man. So wrong analogy. I doubt beauty was at the back of her mind when she did that.

Wow women demands commitment more? And men don't demand such commitment from their women? You mean you won't demand commitment from your woman? So women force men to get married? The next time you say women are weaker vessels is the day I'll castrate your entire village. A whole man has to be shackled by a woman lmao! What an embarrassment to everything male.

No, I did not do silly things in youth.

I don't smoke, and I have never tried it.

I don't drink, and I have never tried it.

I don't gamble, and I have never tried it.

I don't have tattoes, and I have never tried it.

I don't take drugs, and I have never tried it.

I don't have a kid outside wedlock that I am aware off, but I have tried it and Jesus always saves me. Mo bor lowo won (I escaped from their clutches), no one is making me pay child support. Amen!

I have never been to prison or court, and they have never tried to take me there.

I have always had my head screwed on all my life. Priorities are always clear and straight; I have always been studious, hard-working, efficient, reliable, responsible, legal etc.

I can't speak for other guys. That na dem wahala. I am straight and don't care about them. Moreso as guys always get along very fine with each other.

I hope your next thread would say, Men which of these dating evils have you not done. You don't care about them constituting themselves as nuisances, but you care so much about women to start threads about female attitudes, lmao. Can you just ignore women, the same way you do the men?

As per that your thread, I proudly did number 1 and 2 as a teen. No freaking apologies to any goddamn man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A young girl must learn how to protect herself with whatever means available otherwise she'd become the neighborhood's public toilet. If you did not like it, you can jump in the nearest ocean.

this highly priced men I wonder who will pay their bride ooops sorry groom price.

stillwater: Come Sagamite who would reply all these you wrote on Christmas Eve? Sorry I have a party to attend soon.

Besides Renee Zellweggar instigated the annulment of her marriage to Kenny Chesney, started dating Bradley Cooper, a more sexy, good looking, younger man. So wrong analogy. I doubt beauty was at the back of her mind when she did that.

She don get pikin when she instigated?

Shey she state the reason for the divorce which still be mystery?

Maybe the guy don have im prick remove dat na why she quick quick run.

stillwater:
Wow women demands commitment more? And men don't demand such commitment from their women? You mean you won't demand commitment from your woman? So women force men to get married? The next time you say women are weaker vessels is the day I'll castrate your entire village. A whole man has to be shackled by a woman lmao! What an embarrassment to everything male.

Okay, apart from me, if you see most men do you and other women have an urge to sleep with them without strings attached? Remove me from the equation because that hugely distorts such study, just look at other fine men only. Do you not think of commitment before you get to that level of interaction?

Do you think men are worried about commitment when they see most girls, even fine ones? They would hit most of it with bliss and walk away. When a woman is "your woman" is when men demand commitment, if not, it is a nice Hugh Hefner affair.

Women offer sex for commitment, men offer commitment for sex.

stillwater:
I hope your next thread would say, Men which of these dating evils have you not done. You don't care about them constituting themselves as nuisances, but you care so much about women to start threads about female attitudes, lmao. Can you just ignore women, the same way you do the men?

Wetin concern me with men? Na me dey date dem?

stillwater: As per that your thread, I proudly did number 1 and 2 as a teen. No freaking apologies to any goddamn man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A young girl must learn how to protect herself with whatever means available otherwise she'd become the neighborhood's public toilet. If you did not like it, you can jump in the nearest ocean.

Aje!!! (Witch)

The most correct statement of this thread is the one by Sagamite, that "women are the most SELFISH of all beings".

If there is nothing in it for a woman, believe me she will walk. And for the Christain (ala Born Again) women, the WILL OF GOD is the wool they will use in covering your eyes.

This woman just used this guy to have a kid. She was never in love in my opinion, her time was just running out and she needed a spermy donor.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2254951/Bethenny-Frankel-turns-Katie-Holmes-help-split-husband.html

She has got what she wants, now she can do as she wishes.

The guy was just not smart enough to spot such.

Sagamite:

Ah, any man wey no wan open ear hear, make im no hear.

Let them be ignoring the obvious so as not to upset women. I am very aware of women and I manage and hedge the risk in my best interest.

I will NEVER bury my head in the sand.

Fundamentally, I know when a woman loves me, she would most likely give me her all. But I also know when she stops loving me, it is possible I would be on par with her shyt and she would be willing to do any bad thing she has previously condemned and said she would never do. She would do it with no contrition, that is a possibility or even, in some cases, eventuality, I need to prepare myself for and protect my self-interest before it gets to that point.

- Women have very little contrition when they do bad and face no calumny.
- Women have an infinite capacity to justify breaking their word, promises and doing wrong.
- Women don't understand and cannot comprehend the meaning of fair.
- Women constantly look out for their self-interest as premier interest, if you are not part of her interest, she does not care much.
- Power brings out the worst in women, and they have no contrition when they use it unfairly ala https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

And you think you know women, by your experience and exposure? "understanding a woman is not understanding a thing about her". then you can conveniently draw a valid conclusion. Only because what you think you know is usually not the case.

ronkebp:

And you think you know women, by your experience and exposure? "understanding a woman is not understanding a thing about her". then you can conveniently draw a valid conclusion. Only because what you think you know is usually not the case.

My experience and exposure to women is very strong, vast and extensive. ..................Especially the exposure and the extensive bit. *Straight face*

Sagamite:

Mate, I study women very deeply. Trust me.

The fact of not being in shape or remain attractive is a natural fact that cannot be disputed and which one cannot mainly blame them for. That does not mean the outcome is still not something that leads to diminished desire in men. That is also something one cannot blame men for. It is life.

As for personality, personally, I have never seen any living thing as selfish as women. Women tend to be considerate mainly when they are likely to face calumny. If not, trust me, they will frequently find any illogicality and even self-deluding lies to justifying the worst of their behaviours without any contrition. Their emotions wipe out any sense of logicality and they act in almost utter self-interest. There is a reason why they don't usually get along with each other in all parts of the world.

I am not saying this as an attack on females or to provoke arguments. Honestly, they are extremely selfish and one should never bury his head when relating with them. They are evolutionarily programmed to look out for their best interest far more than men. You are safe when they love you because you are part of their interest, when they do not is when your women-awareness and diligence level would count the most.

I study this beings in detail and they rarely ever prove me wrong. At least the NL women I chat with off-NL would support me on that. Everything I predict about them tends to be right, especially the "women tend to break their own words".



Trust me, add the fact that they know they would struggle to find a new partner (who is on par with current one or better) too.

If majority of women can remain as beautiful as J.Lo in middle age and hence remain desirable, trust me, they would be like J.Lo and would not be hanging around even if there was no infidelity.

Beauty brings power to them. And power tends to bring out the worst of their selfishness. There are nice beautiful girls (and I have met some), but most nice girls are the ones compensating for looks or aesthetic insecurities.

I don't hate or dislike them, I just know them. That knowledge I try and use to build my self-interest.

Standing ovation Monsieur Sagamu. Hear hear, anything diffrent is utter bunkum. trust a woman's nobility at your own peril.

ronkebp:

And you think you know women, by your experience and exposure? "understanding a woman is not understanding a thing about her". then you can conveniently draw a valid conclusion. Only because what you think you know is usually not the case.

Compliments Ronke.

Oh boy, you people crack me up!