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Stats: 1,388,861 members, 2,167,279 topics. Date: Monday, 06 July 2015 at 04:42 PM
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 2:55am On Feb 01, 2012|
Spoken like a true golddigger!
Unfortunately, most of the "successful" women around me aren't Nigerian. Marrying a foreigner is a no-go for me.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by davidylan(m): 3:12am On Feb 01, 2012|
hmm ok. What were you saying?
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by armyofone: 3:18am On Feb 01, 2012|
true, no try am o. the foreign ones won't take your bull@s@h@it.
You are in the wrong place. Move to Missisippi or Oklahoma and stop roaming around Broklyn.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by coogar: 3:19am On Feb 01, 2012|
are you successful? define successful.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by davidylan(m): 3:21am On Feb 01, 2012|
who says? Most of them take much much worse.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Claus(m): 8:44am On Feb 01, 2012|
Awon boys have wisened up and are no longer ready to settle for just a pretty face.
From what I'm seeing, the guys on here aren't really saying marriage isn't worth it. They just want the standard of the babe to be much higher than average. Boys are getting very picky, just like women have been for centuries.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by bigshow123: 9:29am On Feb 01, 2012|
gud question. unfortunately its not a question for those dat are not married. the taste of pudding is in the eating. marriage is a mixed grill. some have been on a roleer coaster afta gettin married while some had to endure misery and hopelessness for no fault of theirs. truth of the matter, when a relationship is becomin a turn in the flesh, scram!
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by nagoma(m): 9:35am On Feb 01, 2012|
Sahih Muslim: Volume 8, Book 'Kitab Al-Nikah', Number 3231]
Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu-alleihi-wasallam) said:
"0 young men, those among you who can support a wife should marry, for it restrains eyes from casting (evil [b glances). and preserves one from immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting for it is a means of controlling intimate desire."
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Nobody: 9:38am On Feb 01, 2012|
To help you make the decision, here are a few thoughts on the subject of marriage.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by moremi2008(m): 9:40am On Feb 01, 2012|
Oga, I am a bit worried about you because you have outdated notions of marriage. Nobody is EVER going to get a marriage like their grandparents except they live in a remote village in Damaturu. The social insitution of marriage is dramatically different from what it used to be and cultural expectations are also vastly different.
First, we now have divorce and if you live in the West like I do, divorce is a life-changing and financially catastrophic event for the man. Typically she gets 50% of your net worth + alimony + child support. It's a devastating proposal and men are wise to tread cautiously. You will be a fool if some woman carts off with all the fruits of your hard-earned labor. Even your family members will look at you with pity and warn their children not to be like you. Yes, I have seen it happen many, MANY, times.
Second, women are now empowered and free. While this is a wonderful development for everybody, what it means in practical terms is that you might put 110% into your relationship but it won't make the woman stay because she is independent and can just up and out anyhow she likes. To the woman, you're just a living and breathing call option; she'll exercise that option only if your worth rises to meet her strike price. Otherwise, she is out. Today's marriage vows are for better and for better; these days "for worse" is confessing negative. Now, I am not advocating that women stay in unhappy marriages but the problem is that the woman can leave for WHATEVER reason she likes. She doesn't even have to give a convincing reason beyond the vague excuse of "irreconcilable differences." Her definition of "difference" could very well be, "I have found someone richer"
Your garden analogy is really cute but cuteness if for little children. Have you ever heard of infertile grounds? Or plants that are especially susceptible to disease? You might garden as much as you want and still fail miserably. That mistake will cost you half a million dollars minimum, please. And while you're making payments, please keep your hands away from any fruits and flowers because she has got custody! Now, fcking roger that!
Successful young men in the West have EVERY incentive to wait and tread super-cautiously. Otherwise, they had better pony-up for a good lawyer and an iron-clad pre-nup. In the meanwhile, they can play in the garden of delight, sampling different flowers and squirrelling away assets in off-shore accounts where the future Mrs. can't touch it. At least, that's my plan.
Oya! Kill me!
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by inspiredm(m): 9:41am On Feb 01, 2012|
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by stayreal: 9:43am On Feb 01, 2012|
Marriage has become a scam in the states. For many men, getting married is one of the biggest mistakes they have ever made in their life. Men are crippled financially in many instances after marriage and treated as criminals if they cannot afford to pay child support and in some cases alimony.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by fellis(f): 9:44am On Feb 01, 2012|
when a relationship is becomin a turn in the flesh, scram!
Or you work on it and solve the problems therein. Nothing in life is perfect, not even relationships.
The problemm with people is like they feel so self-entitled a lot of the time. They keep telling themselves that they are worth far more than they actually are, that they deserve far better than they actually do. This is an evolutionary trait that is supposed to help us get the best in life and survive among those that we are not as good as.
Men here are complaining about how they want a beautiful woman that has a job, has made money and so will not spend their own, is not an ashawo and I am guessing they also want this woman to be a young one.
These days with ASUU strikes and all what not, people end up leaving the university after an average of five years, then there is NYSC, then they also have to work for a number of years to accumulate money so that they will not have to spend your money. How old do you think the women will be after they do all these?
They are very likely to be in their late twenties or ealy thirties which is the age you guys refer to as too old or desperate.
Also, why don't you want to spend money on the woman you will marry? Are men not supposed to be the bread winners of the family?
So if the woman that marries you can no longer spend your money I hope you ar also prepared to cook your own food in the house, clean the house by yourself and bear the children as well.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by WebSurfer(m): 9:57am On Feb 01, 2012|
:-x :-x :-x
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by estrella(f): 9:58am On Feb 01, 2012|
You sound like a man who has been given a hard kick in the butt once or twice and hasn't picked it off the floor since then, your past may have taught you that love isn't worth the hassle but if that is the lesson you took away from those experiences, than you walked away bitter and not better. At least you sound bitter so I'm going to assume you are.
I think what you really wanted to ask was 'I've been hurt in love before and now that I've got it all in life i want to love again but I'm terrified, how can i love again?
First,you need to get over what ever some dumb ass girl must have done to you in the past and move on.so she hurt you and so freaking what? we've all been hurt by someone we love, letting it influence you into making wrong choices doesn't make you right, it makes you immature because learning the right lesson from pain makes you grow up.
Secondly,you need to get your mentality set straight.You don't have to get married if YOU don't see the need to. God saw a need with Adam before he gave Eve. Men who don't see a need for a woman but still go ahead to get one end up messing up her purpose and compromising theirs in the process. So if you don't see the need for a wife,no one here can convince you of it, come back when you see the need to get married and maybe you might get answers that won't cause you to smirk or huff in disdain,
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Dyt(f): 10:01am On Feb 01, 2012|
m lovin dis
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Nobody: 10:08am On Feb 01, 2012|
I thought the topic/question was directed at guys. . .how come these agbaya women here are over-reaching themselves to convince guys that marriage is worth it for guys?
Well, to each their own, but in all honesty, marriage favours women much more than men.
A man can have babies outside wedlock and still retain dignity and a good public image. But a husbandless woman with kids lacks legitimacy and honour in the society, at least here in Africa. Imagine a female equivalent of Tuface. . . .who has five kids for 3 different men, and is still unmarried! Unimaginable isn't it? Well. There are a thousand and one arguments that one can put forward to show that marriage is almost entirely a favour done to women, and an poor bargain for men. . .but I no get power to write long tori for now.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by MissyB3(f): 10:30am On Feb 01, 2012|
Depends on one's priorities. Marriage is great for some people, but it's definitely not for everyone.
Lol @ not wanting to get married for fear of sharing resources with a woman.
You lot never cease to amuse me.
If you harbor this thought, you sure aren't ripe for marriage; by all means, espouse your success.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by opribo: 10:32am On Feb 01, 2012|
In my opinion, marriage nowadays is not worth it, it has lost its significance and meaning. A situation you call a woman your wife yet she goes about showing her Unclothedness to other men is that the sanctity of marriage. In every 5 marriages today at least four have been unfaithful to their spouses. At the end of the day marriage today has become money for stay, no money for go.
It is not even a matter of poverty because even the so called working class women are high on the infidelity list. the problem here now is that when these women cheat and get sick they carry their 'wahala' to the husband in the house he is the one to carry the headache.
So to answer to the poster if you can have children out their like Tuface all well and good and you bring them up to your taste and in the way of the Lord, get a nanny to handle that for you.
There are no more good women out there all of them are too materialistic, they lack the fear of God and they are worldly. Thay have sold their souls to the devil and therefore luring more and more men to hell just as Eve did to Adam. If you doubt me take a look at their dressing nowadays it is targeted to seduce any man. Some ladies today will just meet you on the road and the next thing they are in your bed without any qualms tell me are those not agents sent to destroy.
So now some unsuspecting guy will now go and marry them into the house after destroying their bodies with men who wont marry them, and these same women will have the guts to give you trouble even in your own home all in the name of marriage.
its just not worth it any more. Just have kids and move ahead, the women dont have any love in their hearts no more.
They are just after money, money and more money.
It was never like this in the past, it has become very bad mow and dangerous. Guy beware of the modern day women out there.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Nobody: 10:42am On Feb 01, 2012|
Well said. Well said. Eziokwu di na okwua.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by oluite(f): 10:55am On Feb 01, 2012|
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 11:04am On Feb 01, 2012|
Personally, to me that has never been a problem. I have never minded a housewife. There benefits to such structure.
What I would have a problem with is some court allocating my success to it.
No be housewife make me know maths.
Naijaboys are hard workers and professionals.
That is why they are the premium catch to blackmen loving women.
It is not a secret and it is definitely not offensive or out of order to say most Nigerian girls are attracted to guys with money. Love is second.
It is not to say they are not capable of working for their own money, it is just to say they should not take a man's if things don't work out.
Personally, there is no way I can marry anyone in this day and age without prenup. Even the slightest whiff of annoyance/upset/refusal/disappointment in being asked to sign prenup will make me end the relationship/engagement and move on. I was not born with you, you were not born with me, we no have to be together. Marriage no be by force and not a necessity, we can both move on.
As I always say, when I am the one bearing the immense consequence of the risk: Fck your concept of romance. Fck your fairytale.
So, abeg, post back my $20K engagement ring.
It is not like if it is rich pickings.
It is just the few gems out their that keep the hope alive.
When you see the arrogance and the rudeness of most young black girls especially when she was in her early 20s and good looking, you will think is this the person I should be putting and deserves to be put on a pedestal in later years.
I still see these girls till this day and shake my head. Some of them, because they never learnt manners in their youth and got away with it because of looks, take it into marriage, and can't keep the marriage because they are not used to being respectful and considerate.
Honestly, how can you know who you want to spend the res of your life with in the 2 years on average people date before marriage. And listen to Naija girls, they would mostly say, if he does not ask you to marry in 2 years then end the relationship.
If I start pouring stories of cheating married women on here that I know of, una go tell Naija senate to remove marriage from the constitution.
Guys finding out they are not the father of their 2 kids etc.
Was that a scientific/sociological research?
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by eastOFwest: 11:10am On Feb 01, 2012|
I liken deciding wether or not to get married to football.
It's like that cross from a winger into the goal area where the ball rolls enticingly across the goal mouth with the crowd screaming "shoot, shoot, shoot!!". Do you go for it? Or do you leave it for The other guy? You'll never know if it will be "over th bar" or "it's a goalll", unless you go for it.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by jaybee3(m): 11:14am On Feb 01, 2012|
So far so good
Still loving it
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by DerMeister: 11:16am On Feb 01, 2012|
silly thread, waste of time
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by ssemire(f): 11:17am On Feb 01, 2012|
if you are true to yourself, you get someone that will be true to you.
get it out of your head that its all about what a woman wants from you. u should ask what u av to offer as well. can u inspire trust, can u be faithful, can u defend her, can u respect her?
don't let your 'success' do the speaking for you. there are many women i know that will rather not get married than marry your cocky self-seeking type.
and these women are properly educated, achieving women who work hard for their own money and are very confident of the person and gender. the question is are you smart enough to find one of them? the bible says you have to find the wife (he who finds a wife, proverbs).
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 11:21am On Feb 01, 2012|
Salau ah koba, el-walahi, sal-binu, shibin kuna, wahelsalem kobina, allahu, shut up!
Standing ovation, bruv!
To add, all the threats of "you will grow old alone", "you will be late in having kids" does not bother or scare me. They should try something else.
There are 4 criteria any woman I will marry will have to pass.
Only mugus and lambs to the chamber will marry without prenup in the West!
This is where I sing that Nelly hook again: "He's right you know. Heee's right!"
I am a bloke and I have many male friends.
If I start saying what some of them do with married women, jaws will drop.
Yet more people are rushing into the jail sentence.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Sagamite(m): 11:28am On Feb 01, 2012|
Women don't know what they want until after middle age.
As per find, let her keep on hiding in the bush waiting for Tarzan to find her. I go dey restaurant sha.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by tenibaby: 11:35am On Feb 01, 2012|
There are several reasons why a man should get married
1) Cohabiting with several women is a sin, you are not to commit fornication by sleeping with so many women, for spiritual and health reasons
2) It is Gods plan for a man to leave his home and cleave unto a woman for companionship for them to build ideas together and nurture children in the way of the Lord
3)The role of men is very important in a home because most male children love to learn from their fathers and when they don't see their fathers at home they learn from outside
So, in a nutshell marriage is very important for health reasons, spiritual reasons and nation building because the man is the strong force that holds the family together and God the stronghold. We have been through hurt and pain, but we must learn something positive from all forms of hurt and pain and become better people.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by SkyRider1(m): 11:36am On Feb 01, 2012|
Any sensible man would prefer a wife's tantrums, the children's murderous yells to the 25yrs olds.
Who will make sure he supplies them with all the vain things of this world. At the same time he is not the only one logging into their websites.
Only for him to wake up one day, even with all he has spent and find himself lonely, cause they will be so gone for greener pastures.
|Re: Is Marriage Worth It For Guys? by Wislet(f): 11:48am On Feb 01, 2012|
@sagamite, dearie wer u bin dey?
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