The Silent Treatment - What You Are Saying By Not Saying Anything At All

By Ken Savage

Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatment is a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the part of their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know what the anterior cingulate cortex does?

The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” with a child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore is feeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, and therefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.

The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife for instance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and it borders on emotional abuse…I’m not making that up to be dramatic. That’s what “they” say.

Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different Things
Let’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “the cooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is so angry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal with the situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin to speak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably better than sitting and screaming at each other.

There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down and outright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silent treatment would be more along the lines of you doing something that pisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then they don’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with you for sometimes days. No good.

To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from this type of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something, cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR not blowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doing anything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter…you’re a dick.

When someone is administering the silent treatment they are trying to show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when it becomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomever the winner is, cares less.

When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment
It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.

But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman trying to avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just not acknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.

I can say that I honestly don’t ever remember giving someone the silent treatment…not anyone that it would matter to anyway. I don’t think I have it in me to do that to someone. Why you ask? Because I’ve had it done to me, I know what it feels like and it totally sucks. I’m more the type of person that would like to blow up about something, probably say some things I don’t really mean, apologize for saying the things I don’t really mean and then move towards resolution. But hey…that’s just me.

Orikinla, True this! I'm a woman suffering under silent treatment from my man. Only problem is I can't really understand why. He wasn't paying me enough affection - only conatcting me when he felt like it and not responding to my calls and sms's when he feels like it. I let him know I was unhappy with his lack of communication in our relationship. The next thing I knew - he went completely silent. Now he has not conatcted me for about three weeks now and if I call him he won't pick up. If I email him - he won't respond. This is causing me untod pain. I wish he would just say he dosent want me so I can move on. I feel arrested and paralysed by his behaviour.

hi, silent treatment is very dangerous, i can say so because im a first hand witness to its destructive nature cos iv used it to destroy my life. u see, im married to a very beautiful lady, the problem is, each time we have a quarel,i give her the silent treatment, its my specialty,in june we had some misunderstandings, i handled it the way i knew best as always, THE GOLDEN SILENCE, for 4 days, on the sunday of that week, i refused to go to church with her. after the service, in other for her not to come home to the same treatment, she decided to go to her friend's place. unfortunately armed robbers attacked the house, she was beaten mercillesly and eventually raped by one of them, as i write this message,im not sure i would survive this week.she kept it from me all this while until last week friday.help me please,

Tonak, remember this - at some point we all have to learn something the hard way. At this point - it's you're turn.
I'm so sorry about what happened. However, this is your chance to change everything between you now - for the better. Stop the silent treatment cycle you keep putting your wife on and just talk to her. Tell her what you feel when you fight.
I love my man so much, I would forgive all the silent treatment pain he ever put me through if he showed an effort to change and did it sincerely. You're wife shouldn't stop loving you because of what happened. Bare you're soul and leave your pride at the door, learn to forgive and she will do the same.

Good luck!

@ shugalump honestly i think if someone who is supposed to love you doesn't contact you in 3 weeks there is really nothing left to say other than he is a coward who couldn't break up with you when he wanted to so he waited for you to get into an argument so he could use that as an excuse to break up without breaking up. honey move on you will feel better with time.


@ tonak i'm sorry to read what you wrote but i can understand where we men come up with this silent treatment thing and it's because we know that if there is a problem and we open our mouth we would cause more destruction than needed which could ultimately break up our home. so we hold our anger in and process it until it leaves. This is a bad thing because holding in anger can cause heart problems and other serious illnesses so be careful. As for your woman i say don't push up on her just be supportive and give her as much space as she needs. Anything can happen to anybody at anytime even if you are walking down the street you can get attacked. Basically i'm not trying to blame anyone but take the time to work out your relationship and the two of you should be able to come up with a way of communicating your anger without messing up your home

good luck.

@omega25red, Thanks for that. I definately agree with what you said. However, it's still confusing to me. He's done this before and has come back when I left him to his own devices. Furthermore, he tells our mutual friends how much he loves me blahblahblah, Why go through all that if you are not serious? It just dosn't make any sense on his part to behave that way. I'm 34 in December and he's 41 - we're too grown to behave so ugly.

@Seun - you are the business! That's just the attitude I need to adopt. Many thanks.

@ shugalump i'm sure you have heard of having your cake and eating it too
this man is having his cake and eating it too honestly since you mentioned that this is not the first time this had happened i think he might be living a double life as in he has another family some where and he fights with you to be with them and he tells them he is going on a bussiness trip to be with you. you should look into this

Gosh at 34 you are still hot you shouldn't be taking this kinda crap from no one

@poster,

this is so well said. Thank you so much for this. I totally and honestly connect with this post. Its amazing how you can hit the nail on the head sometimes. I am a giver and a die hard receiver of silent treatment. Gosh! you do not know how i fight to win it when being given to me. I would rather loose the friend than break the silence. Do not ask me why?? for i am lost to that answer. I have been like this for ages now. Its simply TOO MUCH PRIDE. i hate to admit it but my pride can fill up a tank. I am so working on it now.

@shugalump,

Yeah i feel you, i have been through that road, one question though, when your man gives you the cold shoulder for say three weeks is that love? i mean can one honestly say he loves you? peeps, we need answers cuz i really wonder. When i do give it i can speak for myself, sometimes its out of love, to correct a wrong (stupid rite) or just a sick little game to see how much i mean to the person (not recommended, its a twisted game, only for psychos)!!! LOL

the point is while you are going on with the silence, time is running by, your partner could be involved in something bad, like was said in an earlier post, or something good like in my friend's case,  she fell in love with someone else, he lost a good woman all for nothing.

Silent treatment from my boyfriend is still affecting our relationship till date, he played it with the wrong person, we both refused to relent in a long while and lost all that time. Lets hope we pull through. If you are into this just like i was, please stop in God's name its evil.

I think taking time to cool off is okay and understandable but silent treatment especially for married people should not be practised at all cos it causes breakdown in communication which might have a lasting negative impact on both the couple and worse still, their children. Also, your prayerlife will be affected which opens your family up to every form of attack by satan and its agents. We should all learn the act of forgiveness.

@shugalump,

Baby gal, am not far from your age so is my boyfriend. I even believe older people do it more. Its a shame but think of it this way, age is just a number it doesnot bring about maturity, its your experience in life that brings maturity. So he maybe 100yrs old and still behave like a twart.

Well i maybe wrong here but i think your approach or should i say your attitude to the whole treatment is the satisfaction he gets. he is trying to burn you up emotionally, he obviously knows you are in love with him and he probably with you but he really doenst know what to do with all that love so he is trying to handle it the best way he thinks by playing games with you. Honey, like i said earlier, am that twisted too. Take an advice from me, Let him be, stop the calls. Get on with your life, totally enjoy yourself, get a new look, meet people, flirt with other guys, go on dates,do gals out, baby gal ROCK YOUR LIFE he would soon start calling when he starts to hear that you are grooving. He wants the challenge so GIVE IT TO HIM. But lastly, if you really love him, dont go sleeping with any other man o!!! just go out ok.

It will work, trust me. if it doesnt then he is not the one.

funny enough silent treatment does not work with me, because i got this i don't care attitude that comes up, also i give people silent treatment a lot. this is my way of avoiding saying things which might hurt them, this gives me time to cool down and think everything over, but i avoid doing it for too long. but i have noticed when you maintain a certain amount of silent treatment with someone you chatted with regularly, when you eventually get to talk again, there is a communication barrier, it takes a few days or even more before you guys communicate like you did before.

Hmmn. . . . .interesting perspective! Shugalump, do you want the honest truth? Dat guy doesn't love you. . .ehm, lemme re-phrase that. He loves himself more than he loves you. Ignore the fact that he has told his friends that he loves you. He may have been saying it in jest, or just to save face.

A man who truly loves a woman will always want to hang around her, and keep her close to him. Love is a noun, but it is also an active verb. If he isn't showing it, girl. . .it means he ain't feeling it!

May the good Lord give you the grace to move on with your life! Believe it or not, there is someone out there, who will value you, love ou & tell you all about it, if only you care to detach yourself from a relationship that is going nowhere. the original poster was right. The silent treatment is all about wielding power, inflicting pain & showing who is boss. A man who truly loves you will not subject you to that!

Unlike ThoniaSlim, silent treatment works with me - if your goal is an immediate end to the relationship.

As already stated that the silent treatment is dangerous psychologically and physically, so we should prevent it.

Personally, I woud say silent treatment is evil and wicked.

Here is a true story.

A mean Nigerian husband beat up the wife brutally and also stopped talking to her. Unknown to him, he had wounded her internally. She tried telling him, but he ignored her. Then five days later, on a Sunday, he silently allowed her to go to church with him in their car. On getting to their church, he silently went into the church building whilst she was still in the car. After 40 or 45 minutes, when he did not see her, he went to check why she had not come into the church. He saw her still sitting inside the car. Sudden fear gripped him when he called her and she did not even move. As he opened the door to ask her what was wrong, she just fell over the seat. She was dead.
The autopsy confirmed that she died of internal bleeding.

As some members of Nairaland posted in their replies on "Open letter to Nigerian girls", humans in general often never learn from the terrible mistakes of others. Because, brutish men still bully women and couples still use the silent treatment during conflicts.

Even those who confess and profess to be Christians are most guilty of this evil and wicked silent treatment.

I have been in the company of victims of the silent treatment.
Women suffer more.

I would rather scream and yell at her and let out my anger and grief and then kiss and make up than use the evil and wicked silent treatment.

The worst I have ever done is scream and yell at a woman.
And only twice in my life so far.

The world is full of broken-hearted women.
Victims of the silent treatment.

The silent treatment is childish and foolish.


Shugalump,
The man that has chosen to ignore you for three weeks is a very evil and wicked man.
Even if he comes back to ask for your forgiveness, PLEASE BEWARE OF HIM.

Life is too precious to be traumatized.

Steer away from anything or anyone that makes you unhappy.

Everybody deserves to have peace of mind.

Everything you guys said is truly awesome! I've only just joined Nairaland a couple of days ago and I'm begining to see I'm in REALLY good company!

omega25red:

@ shugalump i'm sure you have heard of having your cake and eating it too
this man is having his cake and eating it too honestly since you mentioned that this is not the first time this had happened i think he might be living a double life as in he has another family some where and he fights with you to be with them and he tells them he is going on a bussiness trip to be with you. you should look into this

Gosh at 34 you are still hot you shouldn't be taking this kind of crap from no one

@omega25red, Dude, I most definately know what you mean. Rest assured, I did a pretty thorough check on weather he's married or has some similar ficture and he definately isn't - he's just a crappy boyfriend, that's all. I won't rule out the fact theat he may have several women on the go at once though, you never know. I'm certainly not taking his crap and I don't plan on taking him back should he choose to re-appear. He's on his own now,

bebe2007:


@shugalump,

Yeah i feel you, i have been through that road, one question though, when your man gives you the cold shoulder for say three weeks is that love? i mean can one honestly say he loves you? peeps, we need answers because i really wonder.

Silent treatment from my boyfriend is still affecting our relationship till date, he played it with the wrong person, we both refused to relent in a long while and lost all that time. Lets hope we pull through. If you are into this just like i was, please stop in God's name its evil.

@ bebe2007. Girl, one thing I have learnt in all my years is that people have different ways of showing and giving love. For some people - that's a learning process. What I'm trying to say is, it's easy to assume that if someone does not contact you for three weeks it means they don't love you. But perhaps that's a very simplistic view. We all have baggage and reasons for doing what we do. Those reasons could be things we have never thought of before. What messes everything up for me is when you let someone know they are hurting you and making you unhappy by doing certain things and they continue to do it anyway. Now that's where you can distinguish between love and games in their actions. If you love your man - put the pride down and stop playing the games with silent traeatment. One of you has to at least try to break the cycle - for good. Or you risk losing eachother. I think I've finally arrived at a point where I can let my man go. I'm working on it. I'm looking hotter than I ever have and I'm about to get my groove on.

laudate:

Hmmn. . . . .interesting perspective! Shugalump, do you want the honest truth? Dat guy doesn't love you. . .ehm, let me re-phrase that. He loves himself more than he loves you. !

@laudate. We should all love ourselves MORE than we love a partner. I'll always make sure I put myself first in any relationship in the sense that I could never tolerate his abuse just to please hima and make his stay with me. Aside from that - the little sh!t just couldn't handle loving me ENOUGH. Clearly the loss is his.

Orikinla:


Shugalump,
The man that has chosen to ignore you for three weeks is a very evil and wicked man.
Even if he comes back to ask for your forgiveness, PLEASE BEWARE OF HIM.

Life is too precious to be traumatized.

Steer away from anything or anyone that makes you unhappy.

Everybody deserves to have peace of mind.

@Orikinla. PREACH BRODA PREACH! ORIKINLA FOR PRESIDENT! 

Shugalump,

I have two sisters.
My elder sister is hot pepper for any man to bluff her.
But my younger sister is very tolerant and her husband beat her recently and lied to me that he only pushed her a little. Then, he stopped talking to her and refused her food for two weeks. He was unreasonable and mean. She recently collapsed and thank God I was nearby and she had to be rushed to the nearest hospital in an ambulance. Only God saved her life.
He has to stop harassing her or I will send him where he would never be able to trouble my sister again.
So, I know what my friend Ken was saying on the dangers of silent treatment.

Have you ever lived with a troublesome person before?
God forbid evil.

I have annoyed a girlfriend before and she said she would not talk to me again, but I started singing and telling her jokes and we made up.

A guilty conscience can kill silently. So, I do whatever I can to free my conscience of every negative disposition.

Love. Love. Love.
Is the key.

Hey everyone, I am a new sales person in my company, before I was Hired I was interviewed by my boss' daughter(didnt know she was the boss' daughter at the time), so first week at work everything was fine, when she sees me,she simes and ask me how is the work and things, but then after one week she start to give me the slience treatment(I could'nt figure out why she is doing this, I was thinking maybe is becasue the e-mail I sent to one of our client, I wrote the wrong shipment date, but I re-sent an e-mail to correct it just 5min after the original e-amil with apologizes and the client sent me an e-mail saying it was ok.), when ever she talking to my colleagues she trun her back aginst me, she dont even want to have eye contact with me, she does not give me any job to do and she exculded me from all activty at work. This is really hurting me,I feel like a useless person at work, I used to wake up at 5 pm and go jogging every day and then go to work, but now I dont even want to wake up, I feel so sad everyday, I dont why someone can do such things to another human bean, i mean if she is unhappy with my work, she could just talk to me and I will try to improve on it... I think she is trying to fire me or trying to make me quit the job, but becasue the contract i signed with the company stated that they have to hire me for at least 3 month. She can't fire me right at the moment.

This has been going on for about 2 weeks, should I just quit the job now?or try to talk to her?

Pls create another thread for proper advise cos this is very old ok?

Orikinla: The Silent Treatment - What You Are Saying By Not Saying Anything At All

By Ken Savage

Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatment is a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the part of their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know what the anterior cingulate cortex does?

The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” with a child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore is feeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, and therefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.

The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife for instance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and it borders on emotional abuse…I’m not making that up to be dramatic. That’s what “they” say.

Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different Things
Let’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “the cooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is so angry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal with the situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin to speak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably better than sitting and screaming at each other.

There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down and outright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silent treatment would be more along the lines of you doing something that pisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then they don’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with you for sometimes days. No good.

To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from this type of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something, cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR not blowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doing anything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter…you’re a dick.

When someone is administering the silent treatment they are trying to show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when it becomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomever the winner is, cares less.

When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment
It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.

But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman trying to avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just not acknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.

I can say that I honestly don’t ever remember giving someone the silent treatment…not anyone that it would matter to anyway. I don’t think I have it in me to do that to someone. Why you ask? Because I’ve had it done to me, I know what it feels like and it totally sucks. I’m more the type of person that would like to blow up about something, probably say some things I don’t really mean, apologize for saying the things I don’t really mean and then move towards resolution. But hey…that’s just me.

Old thread but very educating. Thanks... I am guilty of this but I will change.

silent treatment

i been seeing this guy for 6 years he is 55 i got silent treatment since we started as soon as there was the slightest disagreement sometimes it went on for months. it was slowly breaking me apart and yet i went back time and time again somehow i cannot break loose from this and i do not know why right now its again that time again for another 3 months he would text me randomly make sure i am at home but refuse to call me or see me whatsoever. he asked me numerous times to move in with him and each time within a week i had to take all my belongings back again it is devastating to my mental health and i do love him tremendously. he did cheat on me several times and i could never talk to him about i t as he refused and went straight into silent treatment again for weeks. i mean this year sofar i only saw him like 4 days per month and then with the silent treatment inbetween even less. he keeps saying he loves me he keeps making all this promises he keeps making sure i do not see others etc but refuses to see me or call me at all. because we had a fight as i couldnt handle another young girl popping up sayin HE gave her his address etc for past two years and i wanted to know how can he keep it secret from me etc i do love him but this is taking a severe toll on me i asked him what about the next 10 years if it is going to be like this and no answer. then he will say his life is a mess i must wait for him. what mess all of a sudden as it was never before? he wont say. i am tempted this time around to go away for good as how can i ever rely on him? I never could. its all about his looks his wants etc i am so hurt and do not know what to do anymore. I mean after intense 6 years he resorted now in sms HI in the mornings and just one pep talk and i know there is no one serious in his life. he likes to have lots of girly friends also and i told him i do not accept that at all as i do not have men friends. I was married 35 years before and he was for 15 years he did the same to his wife also its like he is a different person sometimes he even admits being like a child his behavior is also as such. I asked him numerous times if he wants to break it off then do so and stop this silent treatment as it is evil but he wont break up or mention anything at all.

Had that issue with my ex. we dated for four years and within the four year duration, I couldn't count how many times he used the silent treatment on me. sometimes, he will just wake up in the morning and start treating me like am a stranger. sometimes a month, sometimes two months. around April, he did it again and it lasted through out may and got to June. I became fed up and broke up with him. can't comman kee myself for someone am not married to. communicate with me in a calm manner, don't shout and don't give me the silent treatment.

I knw people who do dis very perfectly, but me I no get mind to do it..........I can just do it for few hours wen I'm angry

kirchofff:
I knw people who do dis very perfectly, but me I no get mind to do it..........I can just do it for few hours wen I'm angry

Exactly!.
Those who do this for months are heartless joor!.

Benita27:
Exactly!.
Those who do this for months are heartless joor!.

no, I don't think they are heartless, but I think its their nature..........they way they were made

kirchofff:
no, I don't think they are heartless, but I think its their nature..........they way they were made

I can't stand it.
My ex use to do that when i'm angry with him...instead of us quarrelling he will just ignore me for weeks, no calls, no chats, no texting...it hurts me badly.

the silent treatment is my brothers way of life and i have observed closely its not helping him at all, when you are holding someone down to the ground, you are holding yourself too because you two goes nowhere, it does not help or improve anything, rather it destroys things,i dispice that attitude, i tackle issues with my partner immidiately and dont keep mute to spoil things...

tnks

I and my woman hardly go two weeks with talking, before you know it, we have gone mute! am most guilty of starting the silence. but I got no choice, my friend partner is the type that forbids correction, Even things as minimal as "hey we should spread the mosquito net" "always turn off TV after use" its not good that soup always get burnt" don't use bathing soap can for cooking too in the kitchen" e.t.c.
everyday I just live in pains within me.
a friend adviced that I should get a spare girl outside to have nice time with to wipe my sorrow n give me some fun and play time. #feelingSad

Benita27:
I can't stand it.
My ex use to do that when i'm angry with him...instead of us quarrelling he will just ignore me for weeks, no calls, no chats, no texting...it hurts me badly.

yeah, it weakens the person being snubbed........it makes d person feel less human...it's really a bad treatment, that's y I try as much as possible to disassociate myself from such people...

Orikinla:
The Silent Treatment - What You Are Saying By Not Saying Anything At All

By Ken Savage

Probably at one time or another you have been either on the giving or receiving end of a silent treatment, otherwise known as the cold shoulder. What you probably didn’t realize is that the silent treatment is a form of ostracism. When someone is ostracized it affects the part of their brain called the anterior cingulate cortex. Do you know what the anterior cingulate cortex does?

The anterior cingulate cortex is the part of the brain that detects pain. When you give someone the silent treatment you are causing that person physical pain. Simply by ignoring someone else’s existence you can inflict pain on them. This is what the ever popular “time out” with a child is so effective. The child feels ostracized, therefore is feeling pain even though no physical pain was inflicted on them, and therefor they want to behave so they don’t have to feel that way again.

The silent treatment can be a very destructive behavior when it involves personal relationships. Let’s say with a husband and wife for instance. The silent treatment breeds bitterness on both ends and it borders on emotional abuse…I’m not making that up to be dramatic. That’s what “they” say.

Cooling Off And Ostracizing Are Two Very Different Things
Let’s not confuse the silent treatment with something known as “the cooling off period”. The cooling off period is where one person is so angry or disgusted by the other person that they just cannot deal with the situation in that state need time to calm down before they begin to speak to this person. That’s fine and actually that’s probably better than sitting and screaming at each other.

There is a big difference between taking some time to cool down and outright ignoring the existence of the other person. The silent treatment would be more along the lines of you doing something that pisses someone off, they clue you in on it (or not), and then they don’t speak to you, acknowledge you or even make eye contact with you for sometimes days. No good.

To me, this is a form of torture. Nothing positive comes from this type of behavior. What makes more sense…blowing up about something, cooling off a little and then talking about how to resolve it OR not blowing up about something, staying completely pissed and not doing anything to help resolve the situation? If you said the latter…you’re a dick.

When someone is administering the silent treatment they are trying to show that they are dominant over you. The silent treatment (when it becomes a mutual one) is a power struggle in pain tolerance…whomever the winner is, cares less.

When You Are On The Receiving End Of The Silent Treatment
It’s interesting to me that research has shown that woman and men respond to the silent treatment very differently. Woman who are on the receiving end of the silent treatment seem to try anything in their power to win back their good grace with the ostracize where men…don’t. They just deal with it.

But what exactly are the men just dealing with and the woman trying to avoid? The emotional pain associated with being ostracized. Those who have been treated to the silent treatment have reported as sense of loss, of not belonging, of lower self-esteem and a feeling of unworthiness. All of these feelings are the result of someone just not acknowledging them or ignoring them. I find that pretty interesting.

I can say that I honestly don’t ever remember giving someone the silent treatment…not anyone that it would matter to anyway. I don’t think I have it in me to do that to someone. Why you ask? Because I’ve had it done to me, I know what it feels like and it totally sucks. I’m more the type of person that would like to blow up about something, probably say some things I don’t really mean, apologize for saying the things I don’t really mean and then move towards resolution. But hey…that’s just me.

Timeless and truly deep!