ronkebp:

So a teller cannot have a career in banking?

IMO and again I cud be wrong, Sacrificing Family for a career as a teller doesnt make sense, That is a ''job'' for school leavers in developed countries

kbdrim:

IMO and again I cud be wrong, Sacrificing Family for a career as a teller doesnt make sense, That is a ''job'' for school leavers in developed countries

Even sacrificing your family as a doctor, does not make any sense too. i was just saying a teller today can be a CEO tomorrow and can decide to have a career in banking.

ronkebp:

So a teller cannot have a career in banking?

Are u minding him? Mshew. Like a bank teller doesnt use his salary to sustain his family. Such ignorance.

ronkebp:

So a teller cannot have a career in banking?

a bank teller, as long as he/she goes ahead to improve his/her qualifications, can move ahead to carve out a banking career. But being a bank teller by itself is NOT a career. It seems to me that people cry about having a "career" the minute they snag any 9-to-5 job.

queensmith:

Are u minding him? Mshew. Like a bank teller doesnt use his salary to sustain his family. Such ignorance.

Ignorant fo[i]o[/i]l, your salary does not a career make. Look up the definition in the dictionary and stop exposing your empty pigheadedness. A macdonald's worker earns a salary, is that a career? ode accusing her superiors of ignorance.

ronkebp:

Even sacrificing your family as a doctor, does not make any sense too. i was just saying a teller today can be a CEO tomorrow and can decide to have a career in banking.

Madam lets be serious here. My mother is a federal doctor and ran her own private clinic. She was gone most of the time but brought in more than enough dough to keep her sons in private schools. She only did so though as soon as she felt her children had reached the teenage yrs where they could fend for themselves with minimal parental guidance. I have to say her sacrifice was WELL WORTH IT.

Whats the point sacrificing your young child's growing yrs to earn peanuts as a bank teller? you're better off being a stay-at-home mom and raising your child unless your job brings you significant money to be able to hire nannies and housemaids to make your home life easier.

queensmith:

Are u minding him? Mshew. Like a bank teller doesnt use his salary to sustain his family. Such ignorance.

I would suggest a teenage section on nairaland. u certainly aint reasoning like an adult. If u dont really know what a career really is, I dont know the basis upon which ur entire arguement has really been

ronkebp:

i was just saying a teller today can be a CEO tomorrow and can decide to have a career in banking.

A CEO tomorrow is most likely to see his time as a bank teller as a job not a career, Let us not mix things up, How many CEO's started their banking careers as bank Tellers, Over 90% of bank tellers cant develop careers from that JOB.

kbdrim:

I would suggest a teenage section on nairaland. u certainly aint reasoning like an adult. If u dont really know what a career really is, I dont know the basis upon which ur entire arguement has really  been

You are talking to a woman "raised to be a doctor" like that? 
The way she says it you would think she's the first doctor the world has ever seen. Apparently doctors are just too intelligent to be caught doing backward things like cooking for their children.

davidylan:

Madam lets be serious here. My mother is a federal doctor and ran her own private clinic. She was gone most of the time but brought in more than enough dough to keep her sons in private schools. She only did so though as soon as she felt her children had reached the teenage yrs where they could fend for themselves with minimal parental guidance. I have to say her sacrifice was WELL WORTH IT.

Whats the point sacrificing your young child's growing yrs to earn peanuts as a bank teller? you're better off being a stay-at-home mom and raising your child unless your job brings you significant money to be able to hire nannies and housemaids to make your home life easier.

she was "gone most of the time"
that's the key phrase there.
while she was 'gone' who was cooking your meals, cleaning the house and taking care you guys before you reached your teenage yrs?
if she did all of that, then she was slaving. no offense.

and the whole "stay at home" thing is the point i've been trying to make. OP should become a housewife since her husband refuses to help out with domestic chores while she is helping him out with the financial aspect.
I personally refuse to go to work while taking care of children. If I am forced to do that (ex. if husband doesn't make enough) then my husband better know he will also be responsible for changing diapers and washing dishes in the kitchen. There should be absolutely nothing wrong with that. OP needs to talk to her husband and let him know to help out with the domestic chores if he wants her to continue to work full time.

If your wife has the schedule Hbabe says she has, from 5am and not getting back home till around 9pm and you still expect her to cook for you that late at night, you are a very wicked man. Haba, that is just plain cruelty. Even if she "insists" on cooking your efo riro and pounded yam for you, you should say No. That is what a sensible man will do. Hbabe, good that you have spoken to your husband and he has offered some sort of help. However, as one baba ijebu said on this thread, don't go and help chinko buy his house cash down. Invest in plastic frozen containers, during the weekend, make the soup in bulk and freeze. This tip will be helpful when you have kids, you can't be feeding your kids on takeaway everyday, you will eventually go bankrupt. You are the only one that knows how to "woo" your husband, make him more involved in the housework. EVERYONE can cook, all this I can't cook blabla does not wash with me, the taste might be "unique"lol but atleast he makes the effort, coo and coo some more when he cooks, let him think He has done the greatest thing in the world, let his head swell, with time he will be boasting to you about the efo he made last week. At this point, you can't fight fire with fire, as someone said maybe jokingly but you should have watched him well well before you got married to him but now you have to train him and as I said before you are the only one that knows how to make his head swell. One last thing, don't kill yourself o. 5am to 9pm ko easy at all. Be vocal, if you are exhausted, let him know. Don't suffer and smile in silence. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed.

c.fours:

she was "gone most of the time"
that's the key phrase there.
while she was 'gone' who was cooking your meals, cleaning the house and taking care you guys before you reached your teenage yrs?
if she did all of that, then she was slaving. no offense.

1. Even if she was slaving, she did it with joy. I'm not sure she cares about your opinion.
2. She taught her boys very well. By the time i was 12, i could cook and clean all by myself. This is clearly opposite to our resident douchebag (miss queensmith) who was raised NOT to do chores but to be a doctor. Funny how 2 of us who were raised to clean, cook and scrub have far better careers than miss dockita.

c.fours:

and the whole "stay at home" thing is the point i've been trying to make. OP should become a housewife since her husband refuses to help out with domestic chores while she is helping him out with the financial aspect.
I personally refuse to go to work while taking care of children. If I am forced to do that (ex. if husband doesn't make enough) then my husband better know he will also be responsible for changing diapers and washing dishes in the kitchen. There should be absolutely nothing wrong with that. OP needs to talk to her husband and let him know to help out with the domestic chores if he wants her to continue to work full time.

this is not a decision you shld take unilaterally. What is the opinion of your oga on this?

kbdrim:

I would suggest a teenage section on nairaland. u certainly aint reasoning like an adult. If u dont really know what a career really is, I dont know the basis upon which ur entire arguement has really beenA CEO tomorrow is most likely to see his time as a bank teller as a job not a career, Let us not mix things up, How many CEO's started their banking careers as bank Tellers, Over 90% of bank tellers cant develop careers from that JOB.

every job/work you do now or anyone does is still just a job, you can carve your career from that same job and it will still remain a job, a career path is meaningless without a job. And your 90% of tellers cannot develop careers from that job is based on which survey?

@davidylan,

not all women can tolerate that. why live like a single mother in your marriage? The husband is dispensable in that case.

davidylan:

this is not a decision you shld take unilaterally. What is the opinion of your oga husband on this?

yeah I take my words back. That comment was too idealistic.
in all honesty though, I think I will raise my kids the way my mother raised hers.
at the end of the day, most people's own family background will shape their ideas about the role of husband and wife in the family.
The lesson from this really is to look for a spouse that shares your ideal about gender roles in the family.

Let me tell you what I will contribute in the domestic chores:

- Technical and physical activities (IKEA stuff etc).
- Cooking if you are pregnant, sick or it is your lucky day.
- Bathing the children some few days (maybe 1 or 2) in the week especially if the kids want me to.
- Dish washing most times when you have had to spend more than 4 hours in the kitchen cooking or I can see it has abnormally piled up.
- Ironing my OWN clothes most times (you mainly do yours and the kids, maybe sometimes mine).
- Washing the cars.
- Doing about 1 in 4 of the grocery shopping.
- Don't mind putting clothes in the washer sometimes.
- Cleaning the bathroom once a week.

I am not to keen on hovering or sweeping. If you want it done, do it.

Saga, you are almost coming home to roost, by the time we get done with you finito eh, good job there.

now add to the list:
helping madam with her nails
vaccum
folding clothes
shopping should be more than 1/4
lawn mower job
watering the lawn, we may as well get the auto watering hose
gisting with madam as she prep meal and help setting table for dinner

Now add those to your list

am i the only dude who absolutely hates shopping?

I completely hate shopping.

I walk in and spend the least time possible in the shop.

Lol. But you all still need to eat do you not? So shopping is essential. Nobody has to love it.

Some people love it, especially women, Some even says it has a therapeutic effect

Its called "retail therapy" in some circle.

Some ladies would even ask you if you want to buy anything so they can go and shop on your behalf

queensmith:

Lol. But you all still need to eat do you not? So shopping is essential. Nobody has to love it.

well i do it because no one else is there. Beyond that and like Dayokanu said, i run in and out in 10-20 mins flat.

how many times do you want to be told to stop using that word, ''especially women"
tell me you don't want to go shop then we can as well call pizza hut

dayokanu:

Some people love it, especially women, Some even says it has a therapeutic effect

Its called "retail therapy" in some circle.

Some ladies would even ask you if you want to buy anything so they can go and shop on your behalf

i like the part for shopping for beautifying stuff like clothes etc. but when it comes to shopping for food, i pity those who go shop alone.
I must shop with my guy you like it or not. nothing thera kini carrying heavy shopping bag.
i hate those go green bags by the way   too heavy to put things.

continue to ''run in and out o'' pick donut on your way in and out.

davidylan:

well i do it because no one else is there. Beyond that and like Dayokanu said, i run in and out in 10-20 mins flat.

armyofone:

continue to ''run in and out o'' pick donut on your way in and out.

ha last time out i picked out my own rodo, tatase and tomatoes . . . blended at home and made my own obe ata. Hmmm tasty! 
who needs a woman?  Oh well of course except at night when you need a warm bed and a soft skin.

davidylan:

am i the only dude who absolutely hates shopping?

you cannot hate it more than i do. . . .
i mostly do online shopping and if i have to go the store, i spend like 5 mins there. . . .

taking the missus to the store is like torture to me.
these days, i drop her there. . . .and have her call me when she's through with her 20-hour shopping.

coogar:

you cannot hate it more than i do. . . .
i mostly do online shopping and if i have to go the store, i spend like 5 mins there. . . .

taking the missus to the store is like torture to me.
these days, i drop her there. . . .and have her call me when she's through with her 20-hour shopping.

smart idea bro, there is nothing worse than agreeing to go shopping with your woman and she wants to spend 1 hr staring at the windows and trying out every single shirt.

WHatever they love is definitely not food or grocery shopping. Clothes shopping maybe and nobody hates that.

davidylan:

smart idea bro, there is nothing worse than agreeing to go shopping with your woman and she wants to spend 1 hr staring at the windows and trying out every single shirt.

it beats me. . . . .
i go to the store knowing the colour, size and the brand of what i want. i see what i want, i pay and i storm out.
why can't women follow this simple procedure?

they would first look for which shop is offering which discount or that voucher. . .
then they would start trying out different clothes. i dunno if this is indecision or simple greed.
argghhhhhhhhhhhh - it's pure torture.

while you guys are at it abt shopping and staring at the clothes and trying them on,nothing to carry afterall.
but tell us about the shopping for food part.
now, do you leave her to do that alone too and the bring in all the heavy shopping bag home and put them away alone?

armyofone:

while you guys are at it abt shopping and staring at the clothes and trying them on,nothing to carry afterall.
but tell us about the shopping for food part.
now, do you leave her to do that alone too and the bring in all the heavy shopping bag home and put them away alone? 

for food part, i do online shopping mostly.
the delivery man does the heavy shopping bag.

when she has to go to naija market to buy garri, snail and other naija foodstuffs, she's on her own.
i don't eat it so i ain't interested.

here, here  

queensmith:

WHatever they love is definitely not food or grocery shopping. Clothes shopping maybe and nobody hates that.

ha! just seeing you got to them too. don't mind them

armyofone:

while you guys are at it abt shopping and staring at the clothes and trying them on,nothing to carry afterall.
but tell us about the shopping for food part.
now, do you leave her to do that alone too and the bring in all the heavy shopping bag home and put them away alone?  

She absolutely enjoys doing it so i dont bother to help. If its heavy then i come in to help.

lol, online shopping for food eh. Welcome to Peapod.
do you use Peapod?

coogar:

for food part, i do online shopping mostly.
the delivery man does the heavy shopping bag.

when she has to go to naija market to buy garri, snail and other naija foodstuffs.
she's on her own. i don't eat it so i ain't interested.