Hi all,
am dating dis guy dat i really am in love with and he's also in love with me.He's everything I want in a man. I'm a christian and he's a muslim.He has no intention of changing neither do i. Apart from d fact dat my parentz would almost kill me, i just can't. His father is a chief imam and would disown him.

My parents are not liberal enof2 let me marry a muslim and personally, i don't think i can.All my friends, uncles and aunties are telling me 2 leave him. I know it'll happen one day,and he does too. we're not gettin any younger but its really hard. I don't know what to do.

Please sb. advice me. I love him so much

Hi all,
am dating dis guy dat i really am in love with and he's also in love with me.He's everything I want in a man. I'm a christian and he's a muslim.He has no intention of changing neither do i. Apart from d fact dat my parentz would almost kill me, i just can't. His father is a chief imam and would disown him.

My parents are not liberal enof2 let me marry a muslim and personally, i don't think i can.All my friends, uncles and aunties are telling me 2 leave him. I know it'll happen one day,and he does too. we're not gettin any younger but its really hard. I don't know what to do.

Please sb. advice me. I love him so much

gurl, leave him since there is no go area, you don't wanna change and he doesn't and parents and family, the ealier you people be just friends the better for the 2 of you especially you as a girl, good luck

I understand your dilemma completely. I have been married to a Christian for 10 years now. I am a muslim myself.
The reason why our marriage has survived thus far is because neither of us is deeply commited to either religion and we do not have family pressure from either side. Both my parents(dad is now deceased) are very liberal, and as long as I was happy so were they.
If either my wife or I were actively practising our religion I think there would have been problems.Having said that however, I did make it quite clear to her before we got married that in the matter of children I would not agree to any kids being baptized in church, nor would they have christian names. She understood this and my child has a muslim name and was named according to Islamic tradition. It is fair to say therefore that my MRS has made more of a sacrifice than me on this issue.
My advice to you is to think very deeply about things. Not just for the moment but for the future. What religion will your kids be brought up in, what names will they have, are you happy to attend Islamic events to support your partner?
My personal opinion is that mixed religious marriages are very unlikely to succeed unless there is a lot of personal sacrifice.

In Islam a man os allowed to marry christian. VOR has said it all. I could not have said it better.
Amazingly there isn´t much difference between the two religions.

Well my girl has the same problem.I am a Jehovah's witmess but she is not.I can't ever think of marrying her if she is not one.Well we have been datin for 5yrs now. Though we are still young. Am 24 she is 20.She is the only girl i hav in my life.

I dont just know wat to say. Just follow ur intincts girl

Hey girl,dont even venture into it.Cos u wil leave to regret it.Love cud be so d.civin.Dat bridge in btw is just too wide.I doubt if u r a christian, because the bible u read says "marry only in the lord".So as to have a satisfying marriage life.If u marry that guy, believe me babie, U will jump out .

Guys,

Religion is a thing of the mind and its personal. I have from a mixed religious home(dad a muslim and mum a christian but they have got along for 32 years). Its not always easy but with maturity it works well. Only God can judge me now

Religion is how u choose to express your faith

Faith is what matters, you both need to sit down and talk about it openly. talk about where the r/ship is going and what problems you are both going to encouter. How much one of u is willing to compromise to make it work, and only then will you both know for sure where you stand.

If you are both devout and none is willing to bulger, then it wont work out. U've come this far, dont throw the good yrs away, cos of something workable, try to build bridges. at same time, be realistic.

Dont bother too much about what ur family thinks just now, this is the rest of your life you are talking about. u need to make a decision u can live with till death do u part.

Good luck

But it doesn't matter. What matters is if both of you have love for each other.

religion is not a thing of the mind, its a way of life.

@poster:

pple will tell u it don't matter but i will tell u "things will eventually & definitely fall apart if you fail to be objective"

our religious inclinations form a gr8 part of our person and existence & people are very dogmatic about this. there are things i would do, accept & believe jst becos of my religion and i carry that consciousness other than that it's no biggie to me.

it's great to be in love bt its even greater when u guys on the same page . doing it over a large and obvious divide makes it "not all that" in the end.

am not saying pple should deny what they feel, but should not deny the truth they already know.  



PS: if this love as strong as you say, then a compromise should be reached and someone should make a switch. i guess thats d ultimate test

Do what your heart tells you to do however just consider this.
I was told once by a very clever man of God that even when two people of the same religion get married, they have problems talkless of two different religions.

Am just saying there are certain things that only love itself cannot hold together.

@Topic
It's sad that our country cares about bride and groom's religious differences. People in Nigeria should be able to marry anybody they want without the back-lash of the society ! As long as the key hole no reject the key, there shouldn't be a problem. Our culture sef. i tire o !

@topic
if you both cannot compromise because of certain differences then you both go your separate ways and stop wasting your time.

Either you convert to my religion (Christianity), or no marriage!

ThoniaSlim:

@topic
if you both cannot compromise because of certain differences then you both go your separate ways and stop wasting your time.

well said

Ndipe:

Either you convert to my religion (Christianity), or no marriage!

That's not compromise, its more like coercion

Not coercion, that's just my personal views.

@ poster, it depends on both of you, if i tell you 'it doesn't matter, what matters is the love you both have', i'm only deceiving you. Religion is a way of life not just something you tick in a box. If you TRULY are a christian and practice christianity, then honey, you need no one to tell you what to do in this situation, you can find out from the Bible. Unless, and i repeat unless, you are just a nominal christian, otherwise, there'll be conflicts.

The previous poster, i think Vor, said he's married to a christian, and according to him, they're ok- that's cos none of them take their religion seriously.

Its up to you girl! No matter what anyone says here.

Was in this situation some months back, but mine was with a Witness, I am a christian. But we had to call up the relationship, thought it was hard but the glaring truth was that, there was no future for us.

It truly wont be easy 4 u, but if u are a practicing christain and you know wat u want from this race, u have to make sacrifices, and this could be one.

Hopeozah:

Was in this situation some months back, but mine was with a Witness, I am a christian. But we had to call up the relationship, thought it was hard but the glaring truth was that, there was no future for us.

It truly wont be easy for you, but if u are a practicing christain and you know what u want from this race, u have to make sacrifices, and this could be one.

word!

Dear Sister,

I don't want to sound bad or judgemental about this but the truth of the matter is - AT last you will be left in the cold alone & if you fail to coast(agree) along with his religion, he will definitely abandon you & marry another wife . where does the love go, . Do not be deceived or carried away by the emotion of today, sit yourself down & face the reality of so many questions of , what if ?? what if ?? what if. Except you've made up ur mind to forsake Jesus & ur salvation. FORGET IT OUTRIGHTLY IT CAN'T WORK, U ARE BOUND TO LOSE OUT, LET NO MAN DECEIVE YOU/CAJOLE YOU, MARRIAGE IS MORE THAN DATING.

I have many aunties that fell to such trap & it has been hell on earth, as the same man changed drastically

Remember your marriage plays a major factor in eternity & now

Let your relationship with Jesus Christ take precedence over this courtship. He will lead you into a better relationship.

I wonder if Jesus Christ will also marry her and give her a holy baby like the Virgin Mary.

@seun, your posts reeks of ignorance and blasphemy! The lady has yet to make up her mind, and I advised her, that she should concentrate on having a relationship with God, who would then lead her to the right partner. What exactly is your problem with Christianity?

Its easier to say it doesn’t matter but the truth Is that it does. Initially it would be insignificant but as time ticks, the children come etc you’ll be surprised how it will magnify. I think one person just have to compromise. Think about it deeply and don’t make a mistake you may regret for the rest of your life.

Hi @post
pls go thru this , i just copied it , it may help


Faith vs Family
by Michael Webb
http://www.50secrets.com/?wp_ml=0

A few years ago I was traveling to California to do a television
taping.  A man sat next to me and we struck up a conversation.  When
he found out that I wrote and spoke about relationships, he asked me a
question that had been on his mind for some time.  He wanted to know
what advice I would give to someone who wanted to marry a person of a
different religious faith.  He grew up Jewish and his girlfriend grew
up as a Christian.

How important is it that couples share the same religion?  Some would
have you believe that all religions are equally good - just different
strokes for different folks.

But picking a religion is not like going to an ice cream parlor with
32 flavors to chose from.  At the ice cream parlor you might go for
vanilla while the person you are dating chooses fudge ripple.  In ice
cream, there is no "correct" choice.  By nature of religion, there are
many wrong choices.

Here are just a few of the religions and their teachings on eternal
life.

Christianity teaches that the only way to eternal life is through the
gift that Jesus Christ gave to the world -- living perfectly then
being sacrificed so that all might live with God forever.

Islam teaches that Jesus Christ was only a prophet and that to claim
he is God is blasphemous.  To go to Paradise one must repent of his or
her sins and then strive to live a life of goodness.

Judaism believes that Jesus Christ was not the promised Messiah.  To
worship Jesus Christ is blasphemous.  A relationship with God is built
by following certain rules and laws as outlined in Old Testament
scripture.

Hinduism teaches that one is reborn over and over again and based on
good works, one might achieve a higher level each time.

As you can see, all these religions cannot be true as almost all
contradict each other.  Therefore, most people who are truly convicted
in their religious faith cannot possibly believe that "all spiritual
roads lead to heaven/nirvana/paradise."

Even within religions there are subsets of traditions and beliefs.
Some groups stay near the core beliefs of the faith while others
venture out to the fringes, emphasizing practices and teachings that
are not embraced by most in their religion.

So, how does religion affect relationships?  If you are convicted that
eternal life rests in doing things a certain way, would you not deeply
desire for your sweetheart to understand that concept so you could
share eternity with them?  And if the two of you had children would
you want your mate teaching them one way to live their life while you
instruct your children to do things much differently?

Just because your sweetheart isn't practicing his or her faith now, it
doesn't mean they wont in a year or two.  Many men and women suddenly
have a yearning to reconnect to the religion of their youth once they
have children.  Also, tragedies can cause some to suddenly realize
that there is an emptiness inside them that can't be filled by
material things and they begin a spiritual quest for real meaning in
their life.

While tolerance, love, joy, peace and understanding are hallmarks of
most of the world's main religions, someone with deep religious
convictions must put God/Allah/Buddha etc.  first, even before family.
A truly dedicated follower would never loosen their religious morals
and value just to keep peace in a relationship.

If you are considering dating or marrying (or have already married)
someone of a different faith, think about doing these things:

* Commit to do a formal study into each other's religion.  Try to see
if the church has some sort of "new believers" class or workbook.
Converting" without fully knowing what you are converting to shows
that you really don't care about your spiritual life.

* Attend several religious services with your sweetheart.  You might
find the traditions and teachings rewarding or revolting.  Better to
know sooner than later.

> > * Pray to your Creator to guide you to the right spiritual path   "
> > not just the one that seems the easiest.
> >
> > * If you are intimate with your girlfriend/boyfriend and you curse,
> > get drunk and have a mean streak, don't expect them to think highly of
> > your religion.  On the other hand, if you chose to remain pure, and
> > you are gentle, loving, kind and giving, it will be far easier for him
> > or her to be interested in finding out what makes you that way.
> >
> > * Discuss in advance what each of you would teach your children about
> > these issues: - Who is the Creator?  - How can they know the One who
> > made them?  - What is their purpose here on earth?  - What happens to
> > people when they die?  - Why is there so much suffering in the world
> > if there is a all-powerful one who can stop it?  - How many good deeds
> > must one do to get to heaven/nirvana/paradise?
> >
> > A strong faith shared by a couple can be one of the most important
> > elements in building a blissful relationship.  But different faiths
> > are powerful enough to destroy families, marriages and even countries.
> >

Hey girl
The only person that has said something i would term positive is VOR, but read what he said very well,if it's really positive.

1. He said he and his wife were not so dedicated to their religions so that must have made theirs work.

2. he gave his wife some conditions, which apparently she agreed to and have been living by it.

It seems in your own situation compromising might be a hard thing to do, especially with your families already not agreeing to the relationship going to the next level.

Look before you leap, good luck