Hi! I am honestly looking for some genuine and constructive feedback. I am 29 years old and I am a virgin. Do virgins still exist? I guess so, cause I'm one! Surely I can't be the only one?!? {lol} Have I had serious relationships in the past? Yes. History: I left my ex boyfriend in Nigeria to pursue a masters in the UK but the relationship suffered because of the distance. I took time out to heal after we broke up and to figure out what I wanted out of life so I didnt date for a couple of years. Now I'm back on the dating scene and I'm sincerely amazed by how much emphasis is placed on sex. The guy referred to above was not my first boyfriend. I guess I was lucky to be with guys who respected my choice. Dont get me wrong;   I am in no way prudish. Some days I think my desires will get the better of me and I might just be tempted to drag one of my poor ununsuspecting male colleagues into the broom cupboard at work{laugh} Just kidding! The point is as a christian the bible categorically says no sex outside marriage and so I have chosen to conform to that. I'm not perfect; not in the least but since the bible is so clear on the subject, I am constantly surprised by the reaction I get from men, even christian ones. While talking to some of my male friends who know I am a virgin, I often get a lot of 'oh, I wont hook you up with that guy cause he needs a girlfriend who wont say no to sex'. And when I meet guys (even christian ones who you would expect to understand as they porport to share the same faith) Sex comes up by the second date!
So my question is, are there any single guys over 27 out there who won't insist on sleeping with a girl before marriage? I say 27 because I think the older men get, they seem to become jaded. (Actually that goes for both guys and girls) Guys who would not have necessarily insisted on having sex with their girlfriends when they were in their early 20's change by their late 20's. Perhaps because of the kind of girls they've been with or the cards they've been dealt or its just the way men are? I don't know.
Am I  pretty? Yes. Am I intelligent? Yes. Do I have a good career? Yes. These things are beside the point. The question remains, are there any guys out there who would appreciate and understand the values I hold dear?

I am new to this site so go easy on me with your responses - I notice some replies are not exactly kind {Smile}

we were 3 friends, from high sch,
we made up our minds to be virgins till we got married,
one got married t 29, the other at 30 , the last will soon at 31,
it was not easy, but u can do it,
we did the kissing, smooching thinggy, got into trouble sha, but never fell thru,
a good man will come along , keep ur head up,
so proud of u

i believe we still have people like you out there.it gives me joy and  makes me so happy, doing what seems difficult at 29

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE

This is your worth  and value.

i believe we still have people like you out there.it gives me joy and makes me so happy, doing what seems difficult

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE

This is your worth and value.

@smsbaby8
Keep it up dear! Most of this "I must have sex with her syndrome" is being caused by ladies. I mean from experience. I was datin a gal sometimes ago (a gal of 19) on a platonic level. she told me all about her family and I felt for her, spending nicely on her. The closest we can ever get is maybe stealin a kiss! {lol}. Funny enough, this same gal I never opted breaking her heart in any way talkless of sein her nudeness went around tellin her friends she' found a new MUGU.

smsbaby8, if u are guy, what do u think will be ur line of thought towards ladies henceforth? Anyways, I opted to havin , with her and she kept giving excuses until I got my new job and left the environment. So guys base their request or whatever based on personal past experiences.

@Kosikosi
Is good holdin on to ones believe. But I must tell u this, I understand ladies better than guys due to my relationship with ladies {76% of my most adorable friends are females}. They discuss everythin personal with me, we share all things in common aside sex; abortions!!! I know of one 18 years gal that her womb was surgically removed {permit me to use that word} after a troubled abortion attempt. Today she' livin with a guy as husband and wife for three years now with no sign of conception. If the guy had thought it right of pregnating her before during courtship or so, he wouldn't have be goin through what he' been into right now,

Well, I believe you are all right with ur opinions but mine I suppose should deviate a bit from your line of thought. Keep it up anyways!

@smsbaby8
Keep it up dear! Most of this "I must have sex with her syndrome" is being caused by ladies. I mean from experience. I was dating a gal sometimes ago (a gal of 19) on a platonic level. she told me all about her family and I felt for her, spending nicely on her. The closest we can ever get is maybe stealing a kiss! {lol}. Funny enough, this same gal I never opted breaking her heart in any way talkless of sein her nudeness went around telling her friends she's found a new MUGU.

smsbaby8, if u are guy, what do u think will be ur line of thought towards ladies henceforth? Anyways, I opted to having ,  with her and she kept giving excuses until I got my new job and left the environment. So guys base their request or whatever based on personal past experiences.

@Kosikosi
Is good holding on to ones believe. But I must tell u this, I understand ladies better than guys due to my relationship with ladies {76% of my most adorable friends are females}. They discuss everythin personal with me, we share all things in common aside sex; abortions!!! I know of one 18 years gal that her womb was surgically removed {permit me to use that word} after a troubled abortion attempt. Today she's living with a guy as husband and wife for three years now with no sign of conception. If the guy had thought it right of impregnating her during courtship or so, he wouldn't have be going through what he's been into right now,

Well, I believe you are all right with ur opinions but mine I suppose should deviate a bit from your line of thought. Keep it up anyways!

I  hope more people will testify to this reality, to give hope to those in need.
The truth must be told .

@poster,
I hold ladies like u in high esteem, keep it up dear, God'll not fail u and u'll soon find a man of ur choice ready to respect ur wishes.
u're indeed the pride of d African woman

I guess these are the questions:

smsbaby8:

Do virgins still exist?

U answered that urself and I hereby second it. Yes. For the same reasons u adduced I still am.

smsbaby8:

are there any guys out there who would appreciate and understand the values I hold dear?

Trust me when I say this. Yes. but oil your search engine n' be prepared to do a whole lot of searching.

sweetheart, i think we are in same shoe, although i am still far young to your age and not too desperate now but wat still baffles me most is the rate at which most young men think absurdly towards dating/marriage that i make use of the slitest opportunity to discuss this with anyone who cares
i so much pray that God should give u ur own real man in due time. just keep it up, be yourself and be as caring as possible to anyone you come across
am proud of you

we know God spoke in parable.
God's teaching about sexuality includes; no smooching, kissing or even sexual expressions of any kind. Not just the actual sex. "for anyone who looks at a woman/man lustfully has already committed fornication with her/him" that was the scripture.
so to be a virgin on biblical terms 'if you are respecting and obeying God's command' since that is the only reason why u have not had sex with a man, you ought to have also avoided getting sexually close to a man.
so I think you were just respecting your wish not GOD.
to me that is not Virginity; period.
I am sure a lot of men would prefer someone that is experienced for sexual satisfaction.
I still wish you get someone that will satisfy your wish all the same.

Bolddy:

I hope more people will testify to this reality, to give hope to those in need.
The truth must be told .

so what's your point?

Joey82:

@poster,
I hold ladies like u in high esteem, keep it up dear, God'll not fail u and u'll soon find a man of your choice ready to respect your wishes.
u're indeed the pride of d African woman

people like u will run after other women when u marry the inexperienced ones, complaining of sexual dissatisfactions

Bolddy:

i believe we still have people like you out there.it gives me joy and makes me so happy, doing what seems difficult at 29

NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR THOSE WHO BELIEVE

This is your worth and value.

really? but has done the less difficult ones? kissing,

kosikosi:

we were 3 friends, from high sch,
we made up our minds to be virgins till we got married,
one got married t 29, the other at 30 , the last will soon at 31,
it was not easy, but u can do it,
we did the kissing, smooching thinggy, got into trouble sha, but never fell through,
a good man will come along , keep your head up,
so proud of u

and you and you and your friends still call your selves virgins? you were/are deceiving yourselves not God. cos God never said kissing, smooching and all that are allowd for a virgin.

hey jus kip ur hed up ehn, and take pride in what u've got

Well I am a virgin.

And I am a guy.

Does that make me 'wuss'?

_{NO WAY!}

Just realise I am what most guys and ladies won't believe.

Am I normal? _{YES O! VERY NORMAL!}


So normal. I get a lot of attraction too _{'CAUSE I'M HANSOME, SMART, FUNNY AND BOLD.}

I am who you may call 'a ladies man and a guy's man put together'.


_{THEN WHAT IS MY SECRET?}

I would simply call it ' a strong religious background and God's favour' 'cause I've been around.


_{DO I MISS ANYTHING?}

NO WAY! I COULDN'T HAVE WANTED IT ANY OTHER WAY!

speaking about myself,i am very egoist and i love the girl only for me.i appreciate your thinking and would have liked to meet you before getting married.it is good to stay on your position,but what if you don't get married .after all we come once to life and we should enjoy every thing in it before we die.

@akumbu,
and who says the earlier u have sex the better u're in  terms of satisfying ur spouse.
Sexual drive is in the body system and never mistake it 4 experience.
Some guys've been having sex since 12 and cant go more than 2 rounds, some start at 25 and can go 5, get d difference

My sister,hold on to that precious gift that you have,am 24years old,also proud to tell you that am a virgin,though it has not been easy for but with God on our side we will succeed,maybe this will challenge most female like us to keep themselves pure

what da fuss about virgin! the main thing is ur qualities. if u are virgin at 29 and lack good qualities then sorry case.
I place more important on inward being, the u behind ur skin. being a virgin at 29 is good but the main issue is have u got a beautiful heart!

@topic
u are 29. I think u should be pressurized at this moment now to lose ur virginity.

@oko-omoge
what da fuss about virgin! the main thing is your qualities. if u are virgin at 29 and lack good qualities then sorry case.
I place more important on inward being, the u behind your skin. being a virgin at 29 is good but the main issue is have u got a beautiful heart!

My guy, this is by far the best contribution i've come across on this topic. You're 100% right. Most Nigerians have got it all wrong with all these virgin thing. am not saying it isn't ok being a V. If u are, oh Great.

BUT I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU ARE A VRIGIN OR NOT, ALL I LOOK OUT FOR IS GOOD CHARACTER, DECENCY, THATS ALL. cheers

what is wrong is wrong

There is no other word to justify a wrong


And you  will know  the TRUTH, and the TRUTH that you know and do will set you free,

I think that a person should not feel pressured into having sex, either by an individual or circle of friends.  If you don't want a man to be inside you, then he has no business being there, simple.  I want to wait until I'm married,  not because of religion either, but if thats your belief fine.

I want my first time to be with my husband, thats my choice and mine alone to make. It has nothing to do with personality, character or purity. Its just a choice IMO.

So, you're not alone, I'm by no means a prude either, I just know my limits. Having said that, it's alot to ask a man of our own age to go without sex just because we have made a choice, they have made their choice to have sex too,

Eddie4real:

@oko-omoge
what da fuss about virgin! the main thing is your qualities. if u are virgin at 29 and lack good qualities then sorry case.
I place more important on inward being, the u behind your skin. being a virgin at 29 is good but the main issue is have u got a beautiful heart!

My guy, this is by far the best contribution i've come across on this topic. You're 100% right. Most Nigerians have got it all wrong with all these virgin thing. am not saying it isn't ok being a V. If u are, oh Great.

BUT I PERSONALLY DO NOT CARE WHETHER YOU ARE A VRIGIN OR NOT, ALL I LOOK OUT FOR IS GOOD CHARACTER, DECENCY, THATS ALL. cheers

i am not hung up on any virginity nostalgia but i know for sure that a lady that throws her goodies to every dog that comes her way is very far from a good character and decency!

@smschick: in the times we live, u are definitely a miracle. cheers

why are people encouraging her!!! this is not right!! seriously poster what is wrong? do you have defects(body)? but you do masturbate be sincere.
i'm sure this is some kind of joke.

a virgin at 29/30 is probably not by choice - maybe a very serious problem of getting married. It is harder to get a suitor at such a late age than at an earlier age. Therefore, if it is not by choice, then spiritual deliverance is required to break the chain of not being able to get married.

My question - if women desperately want to remain a virgin till marriage - do they border to find out how many women the man has had sex with in his bachelor days - or does it not matter? what is d point a virgin getting maried to an absolute male prostitute who has been with so many women, will that matter to him?

I am not a virgin, but I wish
Be proud of urself and hold ur head up tight. .

Good luck

Wow! A sort of motivation to moah u know .

You are not alone deary.just kip ur head straight and hold on to what u hold so dear,remember u've gone too far from where you started from and given it up now except u're married will be a wasted effort.i just pray you meet a man that will love, apprc8 and take you for who you are soonest .


                                                             _{Gdluck gem}

segzi cres:

why are people encouraging her!!! this is not right!! seriously poster what is wrong? do you have defects(body)? but you do masturbate be sincere.
i'm sure this is some kind of joke.

tell me what is then. its her choice not urs and the last time i checked it was still her life.
read her post again, she said she's pretty and she does get da urge but i guess she can still comprehend the words " self control"

@labiyemmy:

a virgin at 29/30 is probably not by choice - maybe a very serious problem of getting married. It is harder to get a suitor at such a late age than at an earlier age. Therefore, if it is not by choice, then spiritual deliverance is required to break the chain of not being able to get married.

My question - if women desperately want to remain a virgin till marriage - do they border to find out how many women the man has had sex with in his bachelor days - or does it not matter? what is d point a virgin getting maried to an absolute male prostitute who has been with so many women, will that matter to him?

probably her decsion to stay untouched is not in anticipation that her future spouse must have done the same. its probably more of a selfless decision.

@SeXy~DiVa  - I am not a virgin, but I wish  

come on honey, don't start feeling sorry for yourself. what has happened has happened. am sure not many V's out 'ere are better-off than you're.
all u need to do is keep your head up, and always be +ve, ok.
would u mind me having your yahoo id if u've got one, so we could chat most times.
mine's - edwinodeode@yahoo.com. or hotmail - eddie_ose@hotmail.com. cheers

@eddie;
That'll be 2mo, cos I'm optin aut now. . .
This is my yahoo handle: ril_nerve

@sexy

can we chat via messenger, really wnt us to discuss
my id eva_victor2005

@ SeXy~DiVa,

Tanx dearie; chao.

smsbaby8
Thanks  so much your post,at least it bringing people together for good ,giving hope
                The message is clear enough for those who care,




i pray  that your source of strenght will not fail you .