Maxidoe:

You need to grow up,i just wanted people asking for forgiveness to understand what pobably transpired and unfortunately for you all you could dicipher is porn,the hypocrisy of nigerians knows no bound,pretence,holier than thou attitude,nothing wrong in what wrote,supposed to e for 18 and above,lets not derail the thread.

Yea right!

I'm sure the Op will send you a thank-you card for your sublime description for what 'probably transpired'!

dare2think:

Damn!!!

What goes on in that mind of yours?

Too much por.n.!!!

lol!


@op, sorry o! i remembered similar thing that happened to my friend, that my guy nor dey take nonsense; he sent the wife packing before fighting/beating/stabbing the other guy to almost the point of death. After then he used his military might to send the guy to Ajaniko.

200,000 naira plus plenty abeg was used to reseolve the matter.


But i suggest u ask ur wife before taking any decision, i like ur courage for not answering the guy . .. apply same to ur wife.

Op, i'm young and unmarried so don't take my advice too serious. I really feel sorry 4u.
If i were 2 b in ur shoes, i'l hav 2 choices.
1. Divorce her. Evn d bible supports divorce on d basis of adultery. 4 heaven's sake ur wif has no conscience and she's a hypocrite; coming back 2 u and actin as if nothin happened &it wuld av remaind a secret if ur friend hadn't confessd. For telling u d truth, ur friend is far more better than ur wife. Ur wife is capabl of killin u.
2. Lik some ppl av suggested, u can 4giv her. But, really, this wil be very difficult.

I don't think you have a good wife, honestly, when you went to take your daughter from her in your friend's house the moment you walked out she is suppose to leave not to stay back for weeks in your friends house; afterall yuo did not stop her from coming home [from ur statement]I also think you have a bad friend he should not have allowed her stay beyond that night except it's late first thing the next day she must leave. I think they both played along for that to happen' why is he now making things worse by telling you? that is another issue that needs to be investigated, whichever way the decision still lies in your hand.

Please what role has your friends wife played in this drama so far? #just asking

Big Bro, i salute u?
Are u sure u not since lost in this whole matter? Seeing that the first place ur wife ever thought of was ur very best friends home, not her parents, not your elder brothers or sisters place, not ur parents home. The question is how intimate were they before? Have they known each other before u engaged ur wife?, are u sure u are not the third party here. These are things u need to knw before taking any action and be careful. I pray God see u through and restore peace & happiness in ur home.

The more I read the advices here, the more confused I become on what should be the truly right course of action for OP. However, I think the first thing to do here is to find out:

1. If this friend is telling the truth by every legal means possible.

2. If he is, that wife is going although it would break my heart very much and I may never truly recover from it. However, I will know that I have done the right thing even if it hurts.

3. It goes without saying that that 'friend' is now formally an enemy.

I am truly disappointed @ both ur wife & friend. I am very sure ur friend must have made advances at ur wife prior to that incident. The both of them are a disappointment to the institution called MARRIAGE. But I also blame you for allowing ur wife sleep at ur freinds home for even a nyt. More reason why men are afread of settling down with our supposed helper. Open up to ur wife, if she confess then forgive her & move on with life. If she dont, then take action. May God Almighty continue to bless our homes. AMEN

[size=28pt]u need 2 talk wit ur woman.[/size]

Hmmm,
Anger, pride, lack of communication can make even the sweetest couple drift apart.
It's so sad seeing couples who used to head over heel with each other succumb to pressure and begin to find find solace in other people/things.

Let me start by saying that, your wife really cares about you , that was why she insisted you take care of yourself before paying the rent,she din't think about the embarrassment it might cause u..all she wanted was my hubby should get well. You paid the rent which I feel caused her to boil. "why are you not listening to me?" I can imagine her think. She had to make you mad by fixing the kitchen cabinet and all that...to hurt u in return.

Since you were not taking time to express your hurts and feelings, every thing both of you do will be irritating .In her right senses, the woman you married and took to the altar will not leave ur house for ur friend's house...only anger and pride will cloud anyone's reasoning.

Please be careful of what decision you'll make. Talking to your wife will do more than a great deal. Sometimes spouses need time off to spend with each other...away from the kids,away from work,away from noises and believe me I think you need that retreat with ur wife for both of you to fall in love with each other again.

Every marriage has its turbulent time, this is yours,don't drown in it, sail over it

The choice is yours

^You make a lot of sense there. The only place I would differ is because I don't think I can forgive adultery.

goodjack: Women! Women !! Women !!! How many times did I call u people. why did I even get married chai? Last time my wife took of her clothes and left the house with the so call anger. She came back in the night begging and I opened door for her. She is claiming that she went o her friends place. Who knows if she went to my friends place and my friend touched her. Chai I dont die. Well as I am writing now, she is back in my house and had earlier deleted my phone number from her phone. I believe she has deleted her marriage to me. The part two of the whole film now is that I will be the one that will make the running in the next movie.
Bad women, una dey craze. Vagabons.

Goodjack you are so crazy! Lol! ROTFLMAO

goodjack: Women! Women !! Women !!! How many times did I call u people. why did I even get married chai? Last time my wife took of her clothes and left the house with the so call anger. She came back in the night begging and [/b]I opened door for her. She is claiming that she went o her friends place. [b]Who knows if she went to my friends place and my friend touched her. Chai I dont die. Well as I am writing now, she is back in my house and had earlier deleted my phone number from her phone. I believe she has deleted her marriage to me. The part two of the whole film now is that I will be the one that will make the running in the next movie.
[b][/b]Bad women, una dey craze. Vagabons.

hahahahahaha

Daresh:


Goodjack you are so crazy! Lol! ROTFLMAO

I thought I was the only person amused by this post and was just logging in to have my laugh when I noticed that it also appealed to someone else in an amusing way. What "wise grandpa" sense of humour this poster has! Hahaaaaaa.

OP,

Although I do not have your wife's side of the story, I would comment on the assumption that your story is correct. Forget all those people telling you about forgiveness. It will never happen. Be realistic. In the Western world were I live, people moan about forgiveness and end up causing more physical and mental harm to themselves. I have heard of cases where the guy forgave and kept the pain inside for as long as he could only to snap and go crazy after 2 years. Well the rest is history,someone's decomposing body was dug up from the back garden 2 weeks later. Poor guy might get away with because the authorities have confirmed that he was suffering from depression.

We have read of internationally renowned men of God who spouses have left them just because of a mistake that lasted only 5 minutes(boy if you know the temptations these men face from their flock daily, you could say let the wife forgive just one occasion). They and their wives preach forgiveness the most. Ask most guys, they would rush to close the window if their spouse is undressed and they feel her unclothedness would be compromised. A man guards his sacred kitty and titty with jealousy and the thought that another person has touched it (confirmed) will only do his head in(he has no control over that). Forgiveness in cases of infidelity is a mental minefield. Do not get blown up.

Your friend told you for one plain reason........ the average man will always display opportunistic behaviour with any attractive female(many will disagree) and if he could have gotten his way with her easily then any man could.

^Wow, that was something. You are right, no sane man would want another man having that kind of access to his wife. I think people need to understand that marriage goes beyond having that ceremony we call a wedding, it imposes great responsibilities on both parties.

emmatok:

NA wa o,

Are you blaming the OP for his wife's action?

Why would a married woman pack to another man's house over an argument, she should have gone to her parent house.

The OP did the right thing by taking his child away from that irresponsible wife and friend.

The OP should be careful with such woman.

Seconded! Just wish both of them a happy married life. Nonsense!

The questions running through my mind are, WHO INITIATED THE TOUCHING? I suspect your ‘friend‘ did and your wife tried to resist him.
WHY IS HE TELLING YOU NOW? To break your home and marry your wife?? OR He‘s scared if your wife tells you it could be more embarrasing to him.
Your wife didn‘t tell you because she was trying to avoid trouble between all parties. Believe in what your wife will tell you more than what your friend said.
PLEASE HANDLE THIS WITH CARE SO YOU WON‘T BREAK YOUR HOME!!

@op Ds is first time I'm commenting on nairaland. It's easy to preach forgive and forget but u are d one that knows both Ur wife and friend well. I wouldn't advice u to confront Ur wife, she wouldn't tell u the truth she will only display the normal acting emotions asking for forgiveness and be prepared she will always use that forgive and forget to emotionally blackmail Ur trust, whenever she do anything wrong and u talk she will said u don't trust her because of that incident, I will advice u for d sake of Ur girl forgive her and be watchful if that was her only escapade and was mistake it wouldn't happen again and u will save Urself from emotional blackmailing and if it wasn't Mistake and the escapade continued after that unknown to u, with patient u will get to the rOot of d matter and know Ur friend motive. For whatever reason don't divorce Ur wife find what type of person she is, knowing her will prepare u and learn how to leave with her, she is Ur cross, carry it. U can't trust her again (amala nla, igbe kekere l'eti awo ani k'anu igbe d'anu, t'o BA tan l'oju Se o Le tan l'okan. Big amala with tiny shit at the edge of plate we said let's weep the shit from the plate and continue eating if we can removed the shit from our sight can we removed it from our mind), but try as much as u can not to judge her on that episode, but base on current issues, person that do something bad to u today can still do u good tomorrow. May God give u wisdom to bear Ur cross and settle Ur home.

man you really need counselling, unfortunately not here on nairaland.
is your father still alive? or any elder in ur family, pls discuss this with him or her. this is very serious.

For i will say please forgive your wife and forget about that guy because i wont call him your friend. We all know how soft women are, that guy sweet talked her into it

Solutions;
-Spartacus Kill them all.

-an eye for an eye. Chop i chop

-seek for a counselor or a priest for advice.

-If you can solve this problem puzzle well, u will gain highest rep. Frm yr wife, frnd end entire. family

-above all these don't break your home. Your next might be the worst.
Good luck on your decision

Nkan nbe!

Exponental: End of marriage.
If she feels kitchen cabinet is more important than daughter's school fees, she should never be called a mother. She feels she could share her husbands friend in d mans house, probably under d roof where d wife lays, she is a silent killer, just watch 4 a bullet.

Best post ever, she i̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ ά‎​ bad wife Α̣̣̥Ω̶̣̣̥̇̊ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ mother. Can't advice U̶̲̥̅̊,buh will say forgive her Α̣̣̥Ω̶̣̣̥̇̊ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ move on.just pray that she changes Α̣̣̥Ω̶̣̣̥̇̊ƌ̲̣̣̣̥ become someone Ǧ☺☺ϑ. Change i̶̲̥̅̊s̶̲̥̅̊ ϑ only constant in life.if U̶̲̥̅̊ can't, then U̶̲̥̅̊ know wat †☺ do. Ά‎​ bad egg cannot be redeemed.

For a woman to leave her matrimonial home for another place (other than her family house), hmmm; Bad enough, she didnt mention it...She's simply leaving for good; just to enable her enjoy his warmth as much as she wants. Rubbish!!

chaircover: This is what stupid ego and pride does in relationships

4 whole weeks over a silly argument. Both of you need to be flogged

Shebi you went and took your daughter; showing that the duaghter is more important to you than your wife. Koburu.

Dont blame your friend o! you people did not arrange your home and he helped you to arrange it for you. if the wall does not have a gap, how can a wall gecko get inside?

Sir, call your wife have a long heart to heart with her, forgive each other, learn ALL the lessons from the incident and move on.

As for your friend I dont need to tell you to keep a 100 mile distance between him and your family. Its not by force to keep friends!

Why the judgement?Jst advice and sharap:-/

~Bluetooth:

They were in each other. . . . . as in ?

op needs to explain this.

The sad truth is ur wife's bin cheating on u all d while blve me, for her not to hv told u? Chai! Women! Confront her, if she denies divorce her simple!

Bawss1: Comments here are nothing short of amazing








How was the OP supposed to have brought back home an unwilling adult woman - by a presidential order or should he have used a lasso?

Honestly, I bow (wonder) ooo..

maclatunji: ^You make a lot of sense there. The only place I would differ is because I don't think I can forgive adultery.

You will!!!!!! don't just pray for it. you will so forgive adultery.

I would rather plan a covet operation to f*c.k his wife too. I wouldn't care if the operation failed or not. If it fails I tell the wife what his husband did to me. If it successful I still tell my friend wife. And I will leave them to handle the business. They will be cleaning up the mess. Then I would go back to my wife to try clean up the mess and forgive her and let that past be in the past. If she like pastor things or counselling we would then do counseling etc. My wives sabi me wella. So they would think of what I would do in advance and weigh the gains.

Bad man always wins. She says "You always make sure you win in every situation". Well did you expect me to carry last? How else will I clear the so called conscience?

so interesting,my questions are 1)why did it take d friend 2yrs to confess after keeping silence.i want to believe they ve been touching themselves ever since then and i quote,maybe our dearest wife has now repented of touching and he deceided to make things difficult for her by destroying her marriage 2)what of our dear friends wife?....i cant believe a fellow married woman allowed anoda married family friend stay in her house for 4weeks without suspecting anything.my candid advice for u jay alex is to first of all confront ur wife in d language she understands,bedroom or harsh voice,dont ever give room for her to leave again cos that is ur friends objective for confessing and after hearing from ur wife,u take ur wife to ur friends house on a very good day and bring d issue up b4 ur friends wife(that is d 4 of u)let ur friends wife know abt that illicit touching wen ur wife was in their house..i think it will go a long way cos the wife will sit up to do d fighting for herself and for u and in dat case,u will go home with ur wife happily while d intention of ur friend backfires in his own home,stupid friend indeed.and i add,from dis little experience u can counsel ur wife on implication of some certain things but i believe she will be ashamed and learn her lessons after d both families confrontation.