tiptap: Hmmm,
Anger, pride, lack of communication can make even the sweetest couple drift apart.
It's so sad seeing couples who used to head over heel with each other succumb to pressure and begin to find find solace in other people/things.

Let me start by saying that, your wife really cares about you , that was why she insisted you take care of yourself before paying the rent,she din't think about the embarrassment it might cause u..all she wanted was my hubby should get well. You paid the rent which I feel caused her to boil. "why are you not listening to me?" I can imagine her think. She had to make you mad by fixing the kitchen cabinet and all that...to hurt u in return.

Since you were not taking time to express your hurts and feelings, every thing both of you do will be irritating .In her right senses, the woman you married and took to the altar will not leave ur house for ur friend's house...only anger and pride will cloud anyone's reasoning.

Please be careful of what decision you'll make. Talking to your wife will do more than a great deal. Sometimes spouses need time off to spend with each other...away from the kids,away from work,away from noises and believe me I think you need that retreat with ur wife for both of you to fall in love with each other again.

Every marriage has its turbulent time, this is yours,don't drown in it, sail over it

The choice is yours

Jay Alex: 2yrs ago my wife and i had an issue@home,i had to pay the yearly rent and had to get an operation for a torn ligament,the cost of both was almost same..I do not like to be embarrassed about my responsibilities so i decided to pay the rent and work for a few months and save for the operation,since it wasn't dire.My wife wouldn't have non of it,she insisted i get the operation first and from a mild argument,we really started having problems,we barely talked and she really wouldn't see reasons.So i did what i had to do pay the rent so i'd maintain the cordial relationship and mutual repect i and my landlord shared,since i wasn't feeling much pain or pressure from the knee.3weeks after my wife refused to pay our daughters school fees,which she took care and instead bought a new set of kitchen cabinet,she said that's what's important.That's when we had the big falling out..i was angry and furious and shouted on her,when i came back she and my daughter had gone to my best friend's house.I went there took my little girl and left her with my friend and his wife..after 4weeks she moved back in by then parents and relations had set in(the one thing i hate).4months later i got the operation,and since then we'v been good,best friends like always..a week ago my friend said he had something to tell me that's burdened his heart for so long,one he felt he owed me as a friend,i listened and after many starts he said he had 'touched' my wife while she held up with them,categorically they didn't sleep together,but then twice he said they were in each other..i left and havent said anything to him yet and my amiable wife never thot it wise to tell me all these while! The two people i love and trust apparently betrayed me..what do i do with my wife? Where do i start with her?

Maxidoe: I have read the reponse to the OP's seek for advise and it seems most peeps are not married,you say forgive and forget,forgive and forget your wife's infidelity with a friend,it takes the grace of God oh,and those of you saying he should have gone to beg her to come back,so that each time their is an arguement she will live the house and be begged to come back abi.They were into each other on two diffrent occassions meaning he kisssed her,sucked her booobs,probably suucked her pu-ssy too and also finger phucked her,while on her side she probaly stroked and played with his pe-nis probably sucked it and moaned passionately on 2 diffrent occasions,what the OP meant by into each other is that they did everything except putting his pe-nis into her pusssy,if she was your wife what would u do? do you think that marriage can ever be the same again?can he erase this from his memory?can he trust her again?do you knw what it takes for a married woman to allow somebody else to smoooche her?And when it happened the fisrt time,she did not run home but she waited till it happened the second time,and it would have probably happened the third,fourth time and continously if family did not resolve it.My advise is this,you knw youself more,what you can take,can you still love and respect her,can you still make love to her like nothing happened? if you can then forgive but if you cant my brother its all up to you.Buy kitchen cabinet instead of paying a daughter's school fees,and leaving the house cos ur husband got angry and shouted on you,and away for about 30 days,ridiculous,like someobody said you dont have a good wife and i agree.

emmatok:

NA wa o,

Are you blaming the OP for his wife's action?

Why would a married woman pack to another man's house over an argument, she should have gone to her parent house.

The OP did the right thing by taking his child away from that irresponsible wife and friend.

The OP should be careful with such woman.

Area-Fada:
All this issue of forgiveness, forgiveness. What if the man decides not to forgive? He's within his right. He didn't marry his wife for another man to shine her Congo. If she has any evidence that the man cheats too, she also can decide not to forgive.

How do you know that she didn't use the arguement to go to be near the family "friend" she already wanted to nyansh all along?

One reason people do all kinds of things these days is that when caught, they can always blame the devil and "repent".

If the "friend" had not confessed and by chance HIV is diagnosed in both OP & wife (heaven forbid), every body will blame the man for it and automtically assume his wife is an angel.

We should seriously review our wholesale embrace of foreign religion before our family unit becomes non-existent.

Guy, judging from this alone do u know that the woman is heartless. She petended all is well and didnt deem it necessary to tell her husband she shares the same bed with every night. But instead a visitor left the comfort of his own house to break the sad news to him. Men this woman is something!

Beync: No one is taking side with the wife, cos even if out of anger she ran out of her husbands' house to his best friend and on getting their she notice funny moves by her husbands frnd ,a woman who truly love her husband and respects the institution called marriage should have run back home and tell her husband so he'l beware of the kind of best he has or move to relative so as to avoid giving in to the temptation. But she gave in and latter came back quietly like nothing happened after relatives must have settle their arguments. Why we are saying forgive her is becos to err is human and to forgive is divined. But the final decision whether to forgive or not lies in the op if after all investigation he finds out that his wife is guilty.

Jay Alex: I thank you all for the support and varied views..to the singles i urge you to pray hard for God's guidance and strength when the time comes to get married,things are never never as simple as there seem,My wife and I talked about this issue and yes she confirmed,that time [b]was back then,when she was broken in her heart and cried about the situation and my friend held her and consoled her, but for her, there wasn't really any sexual expressions,intent or purpose and the so-said ''being into'' did not exceed the hug and kiss on the forehead(still grave by my view!)..but then she's learn't from that era,[/b]and we'v been getting better by the day,ever since that incident. She's been an exceptional mother and a good woman,she told me[size=14pt]---------'s wife[/size] said he's been sought of depressed lately,disconnected sometimes,prays more often and suprisingly paid back money he signed for a work-travel he did not undertake one year ago,back to he's company just last week,apparently the same period he told me about my wife,whatever's burdening his heart, that makes him seek redemption at all cost,must really be eating him up...Tomorrow,i'll meet up with him and make him tell me,what it is..i guess that's what friends are for..and for my wife? i can only hope i find no reason to seek an advice on her behalf in the future!

chiozor: Beync seems d only reasonable girl in NL

vanstanzy:

@Beync

I love it when a woman is realistic. Go girl!

maclatunji: ^Wow, that was something. You are right, no sane man would want another man having that kind of access to his wife. I think people need to understand that marriage goes beyond having that ceremony we call a wedding, it imposes great responsibilities on both parties.

nobniger: My friend, the mistake was all yours and pls, you should move on with your lile. Why a friend's house, are you kidding. Please, take your wife and move on with your life like it never even happened. Don't forget , you set her up with the temptation, ok and I wish you well

emmatok:


You cannot force her to leave, since she went there on her own or what will you do if she insist on staying.

My question is why she decide to go to the man's house instead of her parent's.