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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! (19358 Views)
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Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Nickydrake(m): 7:04pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
tiptap: Hmmm, I hate to introduce yet another cynical perspective here, but what if the wife had been all for the knee operation so she could get the husband out of the way for the sake of a singularly wild spell with her amorous acquaintance? The school-fee/kitchen-cabinet fiasco could simply be a petulant reaction stemming from the frustration his decision to pay the rent caused. Now i've not presented this argument to further smear guilt on the woman, i'm only saying his decision to pay the rent rather than go for surgery could easily have been regarded as a the manly sacrifice of a capable lifemate rather than the stubbornness of an insensitive husband. Had she considered the situation in that way the quarrel that drove her to the den of sin would hardly have arisen. The deed is done (which is just too bad), and i think by initiating a talk with his wife on the subject as he has proposed to do, the OP is heading in the right direction. I hope it ends well for the married couple...providing the whole thing ain't fiction in the first place. |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by vanstanzy(m): 10:18pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
Jay Alex: 2yrs ago my wife and i had an issue@home,i had to pay the yearly rent and had to get an operation for a torn ligament,the cost of both was almost same..I do not like to be embarrassed about my responsibilities so i decided to pay the rent and work for a few months and save for the operation,since it wasn't dire.My wife wouldn't have non of it,she insisted i get the operation first and from a mild argument,we really started having problems,we barely talked and she really wouldn't see reasons.So i did what i had to do pay the rent so i'd maintain the cordial relationship and mutual repect i and my landlord shared,since i wasn't feeling much pain or pressure from the knee.3weeks after my wife refused to pay our daughters school fees,which she took care and instead bought a new set of kitchen cabinet,she said that's what's important.That's when we had the big falling out..i was angry and furious and shouted on her,when i came back she and my daughter had gone to my best friend's house.I went there took my little girl and left her with my friend and his wife..after 4weeks she moved back in by then parents and relations had set in(the one thing i hate).4months later i got the operation,and since then we'v been good,best friends like always..a week ago my friend said he had something to tell me that's burdened his heart for so long,one he felt he owed me as a friend,i listened and after many starts he said he had 'touched' my wife while she held up with them,categorically they didn't sleep together,but then twice he said they were in each other..i left and havent said anything to him yet and my amiable wife never thot it wise to tell me all these while! The two people i love and trust apparently betrayed me..what do i do with my wife? Where do i start with her? [b]@Jay Alex I aint the best at relationship advices, but i'll tell u like this. If ur friend tells u he didnt sleep with ur wife but was into her, take it from me he didnt sleep with her but i think they kissed, and probably had pre-intimacy together. Why would she choose such a lame moment/ excuse to pick a quarrel with u? The basic needs of man are food, shelter and clothing, arent they? She probably is slighted by something u did to her in the past and not this excuse that u gave, cos this's just too trivial. Why on earth would she choose to run to ur best friend instead of her family, that, i dont understand but what i do understand is that u've got serious issues with ur wife than u shared with us and u need to iron it out with her. But tell me, has she had any close encounter or been eyeing ur friend in the past? Cos she sure seems to be closer to him than her family. Or is ur friends wife her best friend too? My advice, dont act as though all is well with madam and sweep the hurt under the carpet. Have a serious heart-to-heart with her. As for ur best friend, KICK HIS @SS TO THE KERB![/b] |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by vanstanzy(m): 10:36pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
Maxidoe: I have read the reponse to the OP's seek for advise and it seems most peeps are not married,you say forgive and forget,forgive and forget your wife's infidelity with a friend,it takes the grace of God oh,and those of you saying he should have gone to beg her to come back,so that each time their is an arguement she will live the house and be begged to come back abi.They were into each other on two diffrent occassions meaning he kisssed her,sucked her booobs,probably suucked her pu-ssy too and also finger phucked her,while on her side she probaly stroked and played with his pe-nis probably sucked it and moaned passionately on 2 diffrent occasions,what the OP meant by into each other is that they did everything except putting his pe-nis into her pusssy,if she was your wife what would u do? do you think that marriage can ever be the same again?can he erase this from his memory?can he trust her again?do you knw what it takes for a married woman to allow somebody else to smoooche her?And when it happened the fisrt time,she did not run home but she waited till it happened the second time,and it would have probably happened the third,fourth time and continously if family did not resolve it.My advise is this,you knw youself more,what you can take,can you still love and respect her,can you still make love to her like nothing happened? if you can then forgive but if you cant my brother its all up to you.Buy kitchen cabinet instead of paying a daughter's school fees,and leaving the house cos ur husband got angry and shouted on you,and away for about 30 days,ridiculous,like someobody said you dont have a good wife and i agree. @Maxidoe U r making alotta sense "they were into each other" simply means they got intimate but the opportunity didnt present itself for them to do-the-nasty, probably cos the friends wife was always around. This guy should summon the friend, friends wife and his own wife to clear things out, before having a private session with his wife. But all through the meetings my friend, just remain calm (not easy though). Its really so unfortunate, i wouldnt pray such for my arch-enemy let alone enemy. |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by vanstanzy(m): 10:47pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
emmatok: @emmatok Guy u no know say woman go always side woman no matter how bitchy she bin dey, what did u expect? They always view the world from an emotional standpoint. |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by vanstanzy(m): 11:12pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
Area-Fada: @Area Fada If the "friend" had not confessed and by chance HIV is diagnosed in both OP & wife (heaven forbid), every body will blame the man for it and automtically assume his wife is an angel. Guy, judging from this alone do u know that the woman is heartless. She petended all is well and didnt deem it necessary to tell her husband she shares the same bed with every night. But instead a visitor left the comfort of his own house to break the sad news to him. Men this woman is something! |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Beync(f): 11:44pm On Apr 06, 2012 |
No one is taking side with the wife, cos even if out of anger she ran out of her husbands' house to his best friend and on getting their she notice funny moves by her husbands frnd ,a woman who truly love her husband and respects the institution called marriage should have run back home and tell her husband so he'l beware of the kind of best he has or move to relative so as to avoid giving in to the temptation. But she gave in and latter came back quietly like nothing happened after relatives must have settle their arguments. Why we are saying forgive her is becos to err is human and to forgive is divined. But the final decision whether to forgive or not lies in the op if after all investigation he finds out that his wife is guilty. 1 Like |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by vanstanzy(m): 7:42am On Apr 07, 2012 |
Beync: No one is taking side with the wife, cos even if out of anger she ran out of her husbands' house to his best friend and on getting their she notice funny moves by her husbands frnd ,a woman who truly love her husband and respects the institution called marriage should have run back home and tell her husband so he'l beware of the kind of best he has or move to relative so as to avoid giving in to the temptation. But she gave in and latter came back quietly like nothing happened after relatives must have settle their arguments. Why we are saying forgive her is becos to err is human and to forgive is divined. But the final decision whether to forgive or not lies in the op if after all investigation he finds out that his wife is guilty. @Beync I love it when a woman is realistic. Go girl! |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by chiozor: 9:46am On Apr 07, 2012 |
Beync seems d only reasonable girl in NL |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by JayAlex: 6:40pm On Apr 07, 2012 |
I thank you all for the support and varied views..to the singles i urge you to pray hard for God's guidance and strength when the time comes to get married,things are never never as simple as there seem,My wife and I talked about this issue and yes she confirmed,that time was back then,when she was broken in her heart and cried about the situation and my friend held her and consoled her, but for her, there wasn't really any sexual expressions,intent or purpose and the so-said ''being into'' did not exceed the hug and kiss on the forehead(still grave by my view!)..but then she's learn't from that era,and we'v been getting better by the day,ever since that incident. She's been an exceptional mother and a good woman,she told me Mark's wife said he's been sought of depressed lately,disconnected sometimes,prays more often and suprisingly paid back money he signed for a work-travel he did not undertake one year ago,back to he's company just last week,apparently the same period he told me about my wife,whatever's burdening his heart, that makes him seek redemption at all cost,must really be eating him up...Tomorrow,i'll meet up with him and make him tell me,what it is..i guess that's what friends are for..and for my wife? i can only hope i find no reason to seek an advice on her behalf in the future! 2 Likes |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by maclatunji: 6:46pm On Apr 07, 2012 |
^I hope it is true and you will stay happy. I love happiness for myself and whoever I come in contact with. Yes, you are right about we singles. Good luck and best wishes from moi. |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by oraclefemi(m): 8:15pm On Apr 07, 2012 |
smoke some weed then go ask your friend if you can touch his wife because thats the only way you can forgive him and if he says no..beat the hell out of him for daring to touch yours! |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Ivynwa(f): 1:01am On Apr 08, 2012 |
Jay Alex: I thank you all for the support and varied views..to the singles i urge you to pray hard for God's guidance and strength when the time comes to get married,things are never never as simple as there seem,My wife and I talked about this issue and yes she confirmed,that time [b]was back then,when she was broken in her heart and cried about the situation and my friend held her and consoled her, but for her, there wasn't really any sexual expressions,intent or purpose and the so-said ''being into'' did not exceed the hug and kiss on the forehead(still grave by my view!)..but then she's learn't from that era,[/b]and we'v been getting better by the day,ever since that incident. She's been an exceptional mother and a good woman,she told me[size=14pt]---------'s wife[/size] said he's been sought of depressed lately,disconnected sometimes,prays more often and suprisingly paid back money he signed for a work-travel he did not undertake one year ago,back to he's company just last week,apparently the same period he told me about my wife,whatever's burdening his heart, that makes him seek redemption at all cost,must really be eating him up...Tomorrow,i'll meet up with him and make him tell me,what it is..i guess that's what friends are for..and for my wife? i can only hope i find no reason to seek an advice on her behalf in the future! It's good to hear that it was an innocent consolation as I said that it may be. We should give people a benefit of the doubt sometimes. Even if the man lost his head while the "consolation" was going on, a woman that did not give in to that enough to not sleep with him is loyal to her spouse. Hey Sir Alex, please do your friend a favour and remove his name from your last post okay.I will also advise that you contain it all and not let it spread to your friend's wife too. I'm sure you now know to pull your family together better. Wishing you good luck and happiness with your wife. |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Nobody: 10:25am On Apr 08, 2012 |
<deleted> |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Beync(f): 11:14am On Apr 08, 2012 |
chiozor: Beync seems d only reasonable girl in NL vanstanzy: |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Nobody: 6:53pm On Apr 08, 2012 |
OP, Read my first advice then call your friend, his wife and that 'wife' of yours to a round table conference. Your friend should also face his wife and take responsibility for his opportunistic " I know I can conquer her" behaviour then you face yours.You guys should proceed from there. Please never believe that you can forgive her even if you genuinely want to except you can cope with the mental images that will form in your head when you sleep with her without slipping into depression. Good luck! |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by bukatyne(f): 3:24pm On Jan 02, 2013 |
maclatunji: ^Wow, that was something. You are right, no sane man would want another man having that kind of access to his wife. I think people need to understand that marriage goes beyond having that ceremony we call a wedding, it imposes great responsibilities on both parties.so you guys understand that and still put your wives through mental torture aka polygamy. You can't forgive your wife infidelity but I'm sure you will preach loudest for a woman to forgive her husband like women are devoid of feelings |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by kpolli(m): 7:22pm On Jan 02, 2013 |
So less than a month after fighting with u, she jumps on ur best friend.... Won't tell u wat to do but if I were in ur shoes, she is a gonna |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by nobniger: 11:40pm On Jan 12, 2013 |
My friend, the mistake was all yours and pls, you should move on with your lile. Why a friend's house, are you kidding. Please, take your wife and move on with your life like it never even happened. Don't forget , you set her up with the temptation, ok and I wish you well |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by kpolli(m): 12:57am On Jan 13, 2013 |
nobniger: My friend, the mistake was all yours and pls, you should move on with your lile. Why a friend's house, are you kidding. Please, take your wife and move on with your life like it never even happened. Don't forget , you set her up with the temptation, ok and I wish you well Set her up how? Did he instruct her to go there? 1 Like |
Re: He Said He 'touched' Her..&for Me That Has Changed A Lot Of Things! by Nobody: 12:45pm On Nov 23, 2014 |
emmatok:I guess something has been going on between the two without the OP's knowledge. Upon all the places she could think of she ended up in her husband's friend's house, imagin. Don't she have female friends, parents, parent inlaws, sibling? I think both of them have some rotten skeletons in their cupbourds. |
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