I am a lady who is engaged to a man who i plan to marry. But my parents do not like him. he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change, but my family think I should leave him and find someone else. what should i do? Can my whole family be right?

he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change

But has he changed? What if he's merely holding himself in check for now only to unleash terror on you when you are married?

sweetheart im sure you would want to leave your life to the fullest with happy memories but to do this, you must exclude that man from your life he spells the word T-R-O-U-B-L-E

NO. I don't think a whole family can be wrong. But go & ask your family to be detailed about why they don't like him. Honestly, I don't like him b/c he's violent as you say. Leave him. It'll be better for you in the long run.

Has much as i dont agree wit families bn d final judge on who 2 marry.U need 2 1st check ursef r u been real.Has he changed?D kind of violent u mean also matter.Pp change bt dat depends ön dem. Dont b blinded by ur want use ya head!

Try finding out from your family what it is they dont like about him and Just like Seun has said, has he really changed or is he just promising that so you wont leave him? If he's been physically violent with you in the past, there's every chance he'll do it again in the future

They are talking about marrage and the family must have told her why. They have beingseeing what is happinging.
They only want what is the best for you .
Let it not happen that they will one day say I told you so.

My dear,marry him. By my spiritual point of view he is not violent, he was acting based on de kind of life his 4ma girl friend imperted in him, he tought u are like dat but he is realising u dont enjoy dat,but his 4ma girl friend do enjoy violent,even do send him against other men .Do not ask him in de evening nor night but in de morning.I am still in Nairaland u can wire me 4rm here.

BabyCakes:

- he has been violent towards me in the past and has promised to change -

it's your funeral.

Bright2:

- he was acting based on de kind of life his 4ma girl friend imperted in him, he tought u are like that but he is realising u don't enjoy that,but his 4ma girl friend do enjoy violent -

i'm looking for the point where this justifies her (or any other chic) at all getting a beating. she did not say he was into S&M o! he's been violent with her minus sex. or is there some other form of violence that supposedly gives a normal, non-psychotic human pleasure?

Bright2:

- Do not ask him in de evening nor night but in de morning.I am still in Nairaland u can wire me from here.

i hope Mr Seun has built in a neato transport system into this forum-interface thingy, he cud easily make millions.

No he is not violent .
The lady just walks into his fist.
Or ask for it. same asthe 4ma girlfriends

Babycakes, how's it going?

uuuh hun,bail out fast its too early for ur funeral

exactly

When you read about what divorce has done to so many homes in the world, you'll want to be sincere with yourself in this matter. Marriage is for life. That's why you've got to be very careful when you want to say ''yes'' to any man.

You know this guy better than we all do. Weigh the pros and cons of marrying the guy. Do a proper homework on this man before going to the altar. No doubt,you family members meant well for you.

Goodluck.

Never marry a man that hits you or threatens to do so. Adults do not improve after marriage.

Seun, i disagree with with u,men does improve after marriage lot's of parents even uses dat 2 calm their sons.

People don't change after marriage. Why should a man improve when he has already "captured" her?

As long as the girl is in her Fathers House the Mans aggression are limited.
He cannot go to her fathers house to fight her.
Once they are married, he will feel free to do what he likes,

honey a man that lays hands on you does not deserve you, it is insulting and humiliating u can't always trust a man like that even if he promised to change,
i agree wiv seun too. if u can live with him beating you up go on but if not heed your family's advice.

can a LEOPARD change is skin? dis is marriage we are talkin abt. Men dey do pretend alot to get wat dey want bt after gettin it dey belive dat d ACE is now in their hand.

Pls & pls luk vry well b4 u leap. Ur family might be right.

YES with a capital 'Y'

He has been 'violent' with you in the past and you want to give him a chance b/c your 'biased & sympathetic' mind cannot see beyond a few years?

Ol girl! Blood is thicker than water. Your family is seeing what you cannot b/c they're not emotionally involved.
Hence their vision is unbiased.

Go with your family; they cannot deceive you.

Dish the man!

why are guys still replying to this ?twas posted about 2 yrs ago.

B/c someone resurrected it.

Some thread have nine lives!