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Husband at Home While the Wife Works? - Family - Nairaland

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Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Bibi(m): 4:19pm On Jul 19, 2005
In the modern day, with respect to whoever has a better career, lets assume in this case, the woman.
If your wife gets posted oustide the country, would you pack your bags and follow your wife, knowing (probably you dont know), you may become a househusband, taking care of the babies while your wife works, doing the home stuff and waiting at month end for your wife to give you pocket money.

Any inputs into this thread? Man staying at home while the wife works. How good or bad is this? Would you do this for your wife if she has a better career?

Wife - would you see this man as supporting you or being a parasite on you?

lets talk ladies and gents....
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by nike4luv(f): 4:46pm On Jul 19, 2005
anyone can stay home..but i think a man should be working and maybe de wife should stay home(if she wants)
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by dablessed(f): 7:08pm On Jul 19, 2005
Really, it depends on a lot of factors such as location, origin and culture, nature of job, love and understanding, etc.

In a country like ours, if a man decides to stay at home while the woman works, you and i know that "e get as e be" and in no time na family go ruin that kain home. Very soon dem go de begin talk say the woman don turn the man into somethin else. No matter how couples may actually try to make it work, honestly the Nigerian culture takes a upper hand.

However, in western countries they dont  see it as a big deal. Its a matter of love,understanding, trust and who is better in terms of earning and safeguarding the family finances.

The same applies to other aspects of the home like cooking, doing the dishes, babysitting, school runs with the kids, etc.In some European homes, the husbands are the cooks - this may be because they are considered better in that sector or their profession is culinary inclined.

I used to have a Russian class mate whose husband does the cooking at home -  and i tell you the guy is a wonderful cook. On a particular saturday it was her turn to host a tutorial session and 4 other members of the group went to her house as planned.

After much studying, the guy gave us a wonderful dinner- which he single-handedly cooked, it was delicious indeed!

So really, it depends on many factors as mentioned above.

But sha if you ask me, i'd rather quit my job and follow my husband than the otherwayround. Dont ask me why!
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by nike4luv(f): 9:05pm On Jul 19, 2005
dablessed is rite..in UK..no 1 cares who works..
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 11:16pm On Jul 19, 2005
what is the difference? grin

You can take care of the kids? you can watch cable, you can run home based business tongue. Infact I plan to stay at home, when i get married. Nothing like waking up in the morning and going to work.

As long as she doesnt mind, whats wrong with it?
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by shockreaction(m): 6:41am On Jul 20, 2005
Nothing wrong with this, at all.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by hotangel2(f): 6:44am On Jul 20, 2005
Hell!!! ANybody can work for all i care.

But answering your question accordingly: My husband can stay at home for all i care because i know i will love him with all my heart so whether he works or not ain't gone be a problem -- As long as money comes in the house, either by me, or by him. And no, my husband will never be a parasite on me, i will love him more, for wanting to take of the kids while i work. smiley
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Seun(m): 11:01am On Jul 20, 2005
Very sweet, but let's see how long you'll be able to maintain that opinion!
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by jogego(m): 12:12pm On Jul 20, 2005
Being in Nigeria, woulda said NO. But now, my outlook has changed, and as far as am concerned, there is nothing wrong with it.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by hopy2005(f): 12:33pm On Jul 20, 2005
That should be a lazy guy, don't u know tht an ideal man is the devil's workshop, and some ladies takes it as an advantage over them, as house boy, after all, u can't do with out me So.

I'm saying this, co's in this modern world we are, things are really changing.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 1:10pm On Jul 20, 2005
hopy2005:

, don't you know that an ideal man is the devil's workshop, and some ladies takes it as an advantage over them, as house boy, after all, you can't do with out me So.

"that saying na greatest grand papa saying and he don die". Watching cable, playing with your children is not being idle, you are doing something.

House Boy? That kind of mentality does not work in my world. Get a maid, if you think you are a house boy. That solves it. Anyways its going to be great staying at home. grin

Cant do without you? you must be kidding. Not going to work and staying at home does not necessarily mean the guy does not have a source of income, and if it does mean he is not earning. Its up to the lady to decide whether she minds him staying at home or kicking his Bottom out to work.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by jogego(m): 1:26pm On Jul 20, 2005
It seems you are all thinking that staying at home means you are not working. In this age and time, there are several people who work from home. Apart from this, you can run a businesss easily from your home.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by hotangel2(f): 8:27pm On Jul 20, 2005
An Idle man, not an ideal man.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Seun(m): 1:37am On Jul 21, 2005
(In line with Jogego's comment above) I run the Nairaland forum from home and I think I like the lifestyle.  I'll probably need an office when I start hiring employees, though.

I believe parents should spend time with their children instead of 'outsourcing' the training and instilling of morals to schoolteachers who may not share the parents' values.  So if the "stay-at-home husband" gets to do this it's only a privilege.   

(I'm not going to be any woman's houseboy even if I'm working from home, but it'd be nice to be able to mould the children's future instead of working out all day and being available only when they are asleep!  Parents should endeavour to grow with their children to minimize clashes when they are older and their way of thinking is all different.

But the idea of being "a househusband, taking care of the babies while your wife works, doing the home stuff and waiting at month end for your wife to give you pocket money" is too radical for me.  My ego has suffered enough already from a lifetime of having to ask my parents for money!  So if my wife gets a job with the United Nations I might follow her, but I'll definitely carry my business along with me.

Ain't begging no woman for money, oh no!
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by legry(m): 12:10pm On Jul 21, 2005
'KAI' God forbid bad thing ( Moving my hands round my head and snapping my fingers) me stay at home and the woman goes out to find food for us God forbid bad thing
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 5:41pm On Jul 21, 2005
That is male gender supremacy for you. grin
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by jogego(m): 9:00pm On Jul 21, 2005
What exctly does Seun mean by a woman's servant? angry This kind of thot in this age and time?
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by gina34(f): 3:29pm On Aug 09, 2005
@Seun you are 100% right.

As a woman I will say nothing is wrong with it. But as a man something is wrong with it because I am the man of the family I married  her. She did not pay my dowery, I paid her dowery. God himself said it that a man that cannot take care of his family is worse than an infidel or something

Women are to be submmisive to their husband and not the other way round!
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Motee(f): 5:27pm On Oct 06, 2005
Men should work no matter what. I don't like the idea and I don't think such idea can last among couples especially in Nigeria.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 6:16pm On Oct 06, 2005
Well if it works for me, I would call you guys to witness it cheesy
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Seun(m): 7:21pm On Oct 06, 2005
Are you planning to be a full time 'house-husband'?
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 7:47pm On Oct 06, 2005
Oh yes, by the time I get married, I would have enough to retire on. Watching tv, travelling, enjoying and playing golf would just be what I would do.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Seun(m): 10:05pm On Oct 06, 2005
As a house-husband, you won't have time to play golf or travel. You'll spend all the time dealing with the children and caring for your wife when she's at home. That's what housewives have to do. When last did you see a full-time housewife on a golf course? How many hours does a full-time housewife have for TV is a day?
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 12:50pm On Oct 07, 2005
Man you take the idea way too serious. Just get house helpers for all the chores.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Motee(f): 2:41pm On Oct 07, 2005
kazey:

Oh yes, by the time I get married, I would have enough to retire on. Watching tv, travelling, enjoying and playing golf would just be what I would do.

@ Seun and Kazey - Don't be surprise.  This is what they do as Husband at home.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by jenny247(f): 7:49pm On Oct 07, 2005
my peeps.... na wa ooo
well what i think is this (it's just my own opinion). a man should be allowed to be a man.
it doesn't matter if he earns less than his wife, babysits, cooks and does all the odd household chores.
he is head and i don't think he should stay home and babysit while his madam (as it were) goesto work in another country.
he can help with the kids when needed but that is not his primary assignment..
he'll feel odd and outta place. what will he even tell people especially if he stays in nigeria where people have this notion on how things should be
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by kazey(m): 8:11am On Oct 12, 2005
The feminist society would hang you. grin Its preety simple and straight forward. What a man can do a woman can do better. My wife would just do the work for the fun of it, otherwise she should stay home with me and enjoy. I hope she can keep up with the boredom the life would present.

By the way, Why cant a man babysit? Does that mean he is the houseboy? But when its the case of the woman as the housewife what do we say? its her task, common thats ridiculous.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Owen(m): 2:08pm On Oct 12, 2005
A man at home while his wife at work? That man is definitely no man!
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by jenny247(f): 2:29pm On Oct 12, 2005
kazey:

The feminist society would hang you. grin Its preety simple and straight forward. What a man can do a woman can do better. My wife would just do the work for the fun of it, otherwise she should stay home with me and enjoy. I hope she can keep up with the boredom the life would present.

By the way, Why can't a man babysit? Does that mean he is the houseboy? But when its the case of the woman as the housewife what do we say? its her task, common thats ridiculous.
i'm not saying that he can't babysit or help out with household chores, infact i love men who help out and would love to be married to a man like that. what I'm sayiny is that that should not be his primary assignment. It's a woman's place to handle the affairs of the home, even when he has to help out, it must be noted that he is the head of the home.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by drbigdaddyg(m): 3:54pm On Oct 12, 2005
Yeah, nothing is wrong with that as long as there is love.
It would have been better, we (men) do the working while our honourable wives sit down, rest, relax and take care of kids. You understand; a situation where we men will come in, and the wife rush into our arms, we hug them than the opposite. It looks absurd.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by loveth(f): 4:00pm On Oct 12, 2005
That is abnormal.
Re: Husband at Home While the Wife Works? by Latoya(f): 4:02pm On Oct 12, 2005
it doesnt really matter who stays home to do the house chores,and look after the kids,i think the men are better off at home than work despite women bring up the kids better, men claim to have more strength. women are better at managing resources,more patient and focused.

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