chuksme: Six(6) years in the mariage,no child.Let us be sincere,if the man were ur brother or good relation. What would u advice him? The matter is not that the man does love the wife.but the issue is child which th wife was nt able to produce

Utter tripe , my brother's wife just gave birth to their first son ( child ) on April 4th 2012 after 7 years of marriage ( got married September 8th 2005 ) , did he go philandering when she wasn't able to bear a child in the first few years ? Absolutely not. The guy is just a friggin wonanizer while the girl is a fccking gold digger/ho , I won't pardon the poster as well cause she didn't make out time for her home. After all said and done you have the final say , are you opting out or will you stay to build your home together with your ex employee ? Weigh your options and decide wisely but have it in mind that the girl might be planning on how to get you out of your home ( she has already started the process )

say-d-fact:
MISPLACED PRIORITY..... You went wrong when u considered material tins more important than marriage tin.... (this is africa)
dat bin said; YOUR HUSBAND IS THE BETRAYAL NOT U...... and 6 years is too long to be planning for kids...only God plans for them.

Well said! yes she was betrayed by her husband which is very bad, but she forgot her duties as a woman, she had to wait for 6yrs to realise that she is yet to conceive because she was busy building a HOUSE? For chrisake we women really need to set our priorities straight in our homes. I am not saying what the husband did was right but rather than think of how to start a family she was busy thinking of materials things in this era of ivf and co? 6 years is indeed to long to be planning for kids. Her husband fooled her into planning with him for 6 yrs and brought in a new madam to enjoy all the benefits of her effort.My advice for we women is to leave a man's job for a man and face ours working class or not,(shine your eyes)

free2ryhme: where did u copy dis story from

U ar nothing but a big F.O.O.L.....
Its a pity u av access to the internet....
G.O.A.T....

What is there to learn? Not to give a job to a girl fresh out of high school?
Did her husband not tell her, he would prefer a boy in her shop?
He could not have sleep with him? Could he?
Anyway? That is Nigeria for you?
Men are dogs. He saw a nice, free meal in her shop and he ate it. And the girl saw a free meal ticket, too.
Surly, if the man has a good business and can give the first wife a nice shop, he can do the same for me, she must have thought or at least he can pay for my higher education.
What was stopping her from having a baby, wail building a house?
A good faithful wife . . .
Stand up woman, run your business, make sure you have a lot of sex with your husband to have your own baby, invest the earrings of your shop well, remember him; you are his first love AND forget about the small girl.
What she got to do, with you anyway.
The broom to sweep her out is waiting for her anyway.

Battle plan strategy.

Plan A: You must gather your prayer strength and seek what GOD have to say in all of this, because trust me, he knows about this. You will never find out the start, middle or how your husband relationship will end with the lady involved, no one will tell you even if they know but you must understand and master the intensity of their relationship to prepare your take back strategy. No other person have a more powerful blue-print of what went down than your soul and inner mind. You must gather and summon your own guardian angels and bring them to task immediately. They exist and if you don't know, you must find them immediately. Go dry and white fasting for as long as your body can stand. Remove yourself spiritually from the drama at home and connect with the other side of you that can only be brought alive by prayer. Your present physical body right now is useless and will not help much for she is blind and not activated neither does she connect or receive any information with your spiritual side or she would have given you signs as to what is going on. You would have dreamt dreams or forewarned one way or the other by your spirit being of what is to come even before it happens.

Nothing happens in the physical realm without it being settled first in the spiritual realm. You cannot successfully manage a home or any man until you learn how to speak to his mind and soul in spirit. And there must be a genuine relationship to communicate effectively or you'll meet a barrier. You already have a gate pass with your marriage union. Leave that man alone and avoid anything that can bring the slightest discord right now no matter how much you're tempted to fight him. You need his co-operation in body and mind to be able to speak to him about your marriage and table your request to his spirit being. DO NOT FIGHT HIM NOW. He is already on the street and one leg is at home with you, anger comes last. This is the secret of your strength. You must dialogue consistently till that leg outside returns home.

Please allow me to deviate briefly and share a personal story. I once went out to a party as a teenager and stayed out till late and my mother was worried. She stood up all night and couldn't sleep 'cause she's not used to that side of me. When I got home, she welcomed me with open arms of relief and did not show her anger and frustration at that point. She took days off work because of me and took time to ask questions about where I went, with whom and every other informations she could gather. She encouraged me to eat her food for another 48hrs after my indiscretion without showing any signs of what is about to befall me as punishment. She got me back totally and with all facts of every activities and companies that kept me away before she handed me over to the tyranny of my elder brother for punishment. I was asked to prostrate on the floor with my two hands carrying a load and my two legs raised up for hours, and my elder brother whom I refused to call "uncle" due to proximity in our age at that time monitor my punishment with glee. I didn't like that experience one bit but I did take a cue from it. You seek what you have lost first and get it back before you fight, if you must fight. I hope you take the hint.

Unassuming:

Now, I can't advice OP. But if I were to b d victim what would I do?

I, homerac7, would call for dissolution of d marriage. We settle, part company and let everybody go and live his/her life. The damage done here is very terrible and d wound so deep that it will always be an open sore till the aggrieved dies. So why live in d shame and pain just because ur family wants it so? I hav right to my life and living it joyfully. Also is my inalienable right to find for myself peace, security and sanity. Under d present situation, none of these can be guaranteed, so I'm not bound by any reason, logic, sentiment or tradition to "endure", "compromise", "understand", "exercise patience", "leave it to god/God", or whatsoever. The marriage contract has simply changed to my great disfavour and I have to react to d present reality which is terminate it and limit damages.

Every life is sacred and entitled to freedom, dignity and honour. If any of these is absent, no law, be it above or below, prevents the victim to discard whichever arrangement has placed such yoke, neither is any measure taken to make correction excessive.

This is what I, homerac7, would do.


I agree absolutely with the homerac7- There's no basis whatsoever, to remain in this marriage. However, i regconise how difficult men like this pig of man would react if asked to negotiate a handsome financial settlement for you, seeing that all rules of engagement has been broken by his premediated actions. Never-the-less, you should leave that marriage. There's no way anyone can ever forgive a grieviuos injury of this kind if matters remains or progress as they are.

Draw on your reserve, move out of the marriage. who knows your real husband may still be out there. As for this man and many that would behave as he....may they never find peace nor happiness, either in this life or next!

I am a bit lost here unassuming and homerac. I plead with you both to answer the 2 questions below truthfully:

1. If you have a brother who has been married for 6 years without a child, what would you advise him?

2. Is it permissible in Nigeria (note the word permissible, not whether it is legal or right) to marry more than 1 wife?


My opinions:

1. I have a major issue with the husband having to settle for the wife's employee. It is utterly disrespectful. He should have cast the net further afield and in a worst case scenario go for somebody that's at least the wife equal in standing.

2. I do not agree that the poster should quit the marriage. Say wetin? After investing all that time and effort, then abandon it? The way the system works in Nigeria, she will lose out totally.

3. Poster should not allow the lady move into her house. Let the husband rent a house for her somewhere else. On this she should stand as firm as the rock of Gibraltar. She can accept the child into her house, but definitely not the employee/rival. The pain wont go away if she agrees for employee/rival to come in.

4. I sympathetise with the poster, but honestly, i have at least 3 friends who have been married for between 5 and 10 years without children. All 3 have at different times, talking confidentially to me of course, said they will try to impregnate some other women in the nearest future if the situation with their wife stays the same. Let me quote one 'I am 40, Bobajo. I am dying to have a child before time runs out totally. If any woman bring belle for me, i will accept totally o. I am trying to even impregnate somebody right now'. I do not say this is right, but the premium we place on children in this climes has brought on this sort of problems.


I wish the poster well. May God guide her to do the right things.

Plan B: You must do this part alone, no one can help you but yourself. Go back into your past and walk that journey again if there's something that needs attention, fix it. If you truly can fast and pray, you will begin to get connections and time sheets of what you need to do or fix if it has to do with past. You will see things and deep secrets will fall into your laps once you walk with GOD in prayers. If you don't know how to call him, you must find it. HE has a name, you must find HIS name and call HIM by HIS name. You must go in your unclothedness as you come to the world and ask him to remove your shame and every reproach and give you a child. You must settle every generational cause on your head if you have a part in any. You must break free from any familial bondage and affliction. You can only do this through a MEDIUM, PRAYER. There's no other greater power available on earth yet other than PRAYER. It is a weapon, you must learn how to use it effectively. God is an orderly being and everything happens at the appropriate time and seasons. Do not hate the child coming or worry too much about the mother of that child. Resist the temptation and not speak evil of her or her child either. Avoid the trap of tongues and don't discuss her much with friends and relatives so as not to raise a standard against yourself. Leave her alone, your battle is not with her.

Take on the full armor of GOD and disguise every activity that could suggest you are fasting. Put on your make up, do your hair, and remember to use your lip gloss/lipstick and not give any signs of your state.

You committed to that project so much you handed over the activities of your shop & home to a sales girl, that's just plain sad. Well, at least you have a tenacity that can be useful here. Now please do commit to your marriage once again with the same intensity you used in managing the building project and SUMMON your husband consistently without breathing space, not physically. Have certain period every day alone that you will bring his image up in your mind and speak to him like he's present. Say it out, don't think. Talk to him while you kneel down and pray, discuss every hurt, every emotions like he's sitting there listenening to you. Call his name, ask him what his intentions are with the woman, with you, with your future. Be very respectful, very cautious, and very careful during this deliberations because you're in the presence of GOD and cannot act. You are summoning your husband's soul and he will respond. Even though he is not there when you ask the questions or make your request, he has other side of him that makes completes him as a human, he has a soul. His soul is everywhere they speak of him. Use that communication medium to table 70 per cent of all communications for now. If you need to cry, do so. He will feel your queries and "must" respond, because he declare you openly in the presence of GOD and man as his wife, this is where your power lies, his covenant is still with you, not the other woman. I am saying these where all things that led to the marriage are right and holy to begin with.

Bobajo:


I am a bit lost here unassuming and homerac. I plead with you both to answer the 2 questions below truthfully:

1. If you have a brother who has been married for 6 years without a child, what would you advise him?

2. Is it permissible in Nigeria (note the word permissible, not whether it is legal or right) to marry more than 1 wife?


My opinions:

1. I have a major issue with the husband having to settle for the wife's employee. It is utterly disrespectful. He should have cast the net further afield and in a worst case scenario go for somebody that's at least the wife equal in standing.

2. I do not agree that the poster should quit the marriage. Say wetin? After investing all that time and effort, then abandon it? The way the system works in Nigeria, she will lose out totally.

3. Poster should not allow the lady move into her house. Let the husband rent a house for her somewhere else. On this she should stand as firm as the rock of Gibraltar. She can accept the child into her house, but definitely not the employee/rival. The pain wont go away if she agrees for employee/rival to come in.

4. I sympathetise with the poster, but honestly, i have at least 3 friends who have been married for between 5 and 10 years without children. All 3 have at different times, talking confidentially to me of course, said they will try to impregnate some other women in the nearest future if the situation with their wife stays the same. Let me quote one 'I am 40, Bobajo. I am dying to have a child before time runs out totally. If any woman bring belle for me, i will accept totally o. I am trying to even impregnate somebody right now'. I do not say this is right, but the premium we place on children in this climes has brought on this sort of problems.


I wish the poster well. May God guide her to do the right things.

I will answer your question on behalf of homerac7

1. Yes I have a brother who was married for 7 years before being blessed with a baby boy exactly 2 weeks ago and I never advised him to impregnate or marry another girl during their trying time

2. What is permissable and what is legal ? Don't you think both are entwined ? Traditionally it might be permissible but is it legally ?

She has the right to opt out rather than bear the shame and humiliation , assuming she still doesn't have a child in the near future will her role as the first wife be recognized . Let us face reality , her days might be numbered in that house if the situation remains the same , only the wearer of the shoe knows where it hurts and only she can decide whether to opt out or not ( after considering all factors )

apocalypse:

I will answer your question on behalf of homerac7

1. Yes I have a brother who was married for 7 years before being blessed by a baby boy exactly 2 weeks ago and I never advised him to impregnate or marry another girl during their trying time

2. What is permissable and what is legal ? Don't you think both are entwined ? Traditionally it might be permissible but is it legally ?

She has the right to opt out rather than bear the shame and humiliation , assuming she still doesn't have a child in the near future will her role as the first wife be recognized . Let us face reality , her days might be numbered in that house if the situation remains the same , only the wearer of the shoe knows where it hurts and only she can decide whether to opt out or not ( after considering all factors )

i feel your post.....i also have an uncle who has been married for 14 years, and had twins just last year....2 handsome boys....who did not go around testing his sperm on every young girl. i have another aunt, this is my mother's younger sister, been married for 10 years now still no issue, has fibroid problem and the hubby still adores his wife till tomorrow, and he has not gone out to impregnate another girl outside. Both are still holding on to the faith that they will be parents to their children someday.

Why blow hot airs on a story that seems to be from Hints Mag? why should you wait 5 years before attempting to have a baby? unrealistic!

@op, it seems like you have already given up, pls don't. Since your inlaws are insisting the girl moves in, allow her do so, but don't give up your matrimonial bed for her. Strenghten the relationship you have with your husband, forgive him . Have a second honeymoon b4 the girl comes. Make the girl know this is your HOME. Don't make her feel 2 comfortable and don't make her feel uncomfortable.always have PDA in front of her.and pls visit fertility specialists.

ronkebp:

i feel your post.....i also have an uncle who has been married for 14 years, and had twins just last year....2 handsome boys....who did not go around testing his sperm on every young girl. i have another aunt, this is my mother's younger sister, been married for 10 years now still no issue, has fibroid problem and the hubby still adores his wife till tomorrow, and he has not gone out to impregnate another girl outside. Both are still holding on to the faith that they will be parents to their children someday.

+1000

I want to anwer ur question; “where did i go wrong?“....so u dont know dat u went wrong all through?U literally became d “man“ of d house superving ur building project &coming home late in d nite “tired“ abandoning ur home &business,yet u dnt no where u went wrong?its pride (owning ur apartment),arrogance (coming home anytime u like),greed (u didnt want d workers to steal ur materials) &stupidity (not caring about ur husband sexual need) that pushed u into this.Did u hear urself;IT WAS AFTER FIVE WHOLE YEARS THAT U SETTLED DOWN TO MAKE A FAMILY!!Stupid....Arrant nonsense....The guy should hasten up the wedding please.u can go &build more apartments,possibly become a site Engineer,thats where u re productive!

Plan C: You have to find a way to be able to relax completely. Then check yourself out medically and exhaustively. Join online forums of women looking for the fruit of the womb, read their diagnosis, their treatment, their strategies. Your situation may be a simple blood thinning, insulin resistant, tumors/fibroids, ovarian cysts or even some cosmetics that passes on dangerous drugs to your body, they can be fixed easily, but commit to medical research and gather as much information as possible. Watch your diet and eat well. There are vitamins and supplements that works magic but you need to know what you lack in your body. Massage your belly and commit your husband to massage it with you certain times daily, speak to it, ask that it hurry up with the pregnancy process and have an uncommon faith that you will smile again. Look into your husband eyes when he massages it for you and let him see your heart. You don't needs words to communicate your need, he can feel it, non verbal talks sometimes goes deeper. Get close to infants and carry them often. Give them pet names, treat them like they are yours. Offer to change their diapers, feed them, back them and pet them and relieve their mother if you're close to one. Give alms and avoid confrontation with anyone. Never shop food items for your home without at least one thing a children would have wanted if they were present already. Little toys, children's drink,etc. Touch your husband often and allow yourself to be touched, not necessarily for sex. Body communication works in strange ways. Every time the image of your competitor comes before you and you have a strong need to cry, do so but without sin. Use every strong emotion you feel at this time to will and summon your own children to come out and live. Prepare your home in readiness of their coming and make it peaceful. Make it lively, and this is why you need the co-operation of your husband very badly.Stand separate from every conflicts, disagreements or arguments. Their must be unity in the household and I don't know how you're going to do that if he doesn't co-operate, but you "must" find a way. There's always a way. You must stoop low to conquer. If you run now, you will always run in your battles. Running is not an option after you have completed Plan A and hear what GOD have to say. He will speak in clear times and sometimes you may need to decode his message. Not all married people should be married, and not all second wives or intruders are really intruders. Like I said, the battle is not yours but the LORDS. You can't handle it, let go and let GOD. He is able and when the doctor's says "NO", HE is able to say "YES".

Goodluck and I really wish you well.

I jst read ur post.men l cried.am cryn even as am typing.l ve learnt nt to employ any female whatsoever.biko my dear take it easy.dnt leave d house.let d harlot sales girl live elsewhere.be hapi.gt ur shop growing.let ur huby take care of d house expenses,else dt betrayal of a girl wil ve much moni to spend.avoid ur lnlaws n d girl.dey cld poison u.very soon ur huby ll cm begn.be alive.ur 2moro is surely greater.pls,live again.love

God is your strength...and believe me, you really need His strength & grace in this trying times.
First of all, you need to forgive your husband if you want to move forward in your life & if you truly want God to smile upon you & grant you your heart desire, love him & show him care & by so doing you are heaping burning coals on his head & leaving God to fight your battles both seen & unseen for you. You may not see the results now but years down the line, you will reap with joy.
You need to be prayerful & vigilant...your in-laws & the new wife may not stop at nothing to see you gone permanently from their lives & its obvious that your husband does not have your back but never forget that you have the Almighty God & He alone is more than enough for you.
Do not make the mistake of packing out of your matrimonial home because it will destroy whatever you have labored all these years for( remember you sweated with your blood in order to make that house a reality ) where was she when your husband was a pauper? she now wants to reap where she did not sow...she will end up reaping exactly what she has sown.
Be strong, involve your self with extra curricular activities & make your self happy ( a stress filled life can delay your dream of having a baby).Concentrate on your business & make it a success in case your husband gets it into his head to stop catering for you
Make God your best friend & every other thing shall be added unto you & you will experience such peace that will even amaze your detractors.
Keep your faith up , consider other medical avenues that you overlooked in your search for a child, interact with children, visit motherless babies, do not be tempted to visit any native doctor because the devil's gift always comes with a heavy price to pay.
IT IS WELL

i have never replied on this site but this story is very touching. i feel your pain my dear and will advise you from a very rational perspective. society have a way of influencing people to make decision just to save their face. i dont undertand why a family will advise a young woman to go back to a home she built for her former employee to humiliate her because she is carrying a child for the pig who is meant to be her husband. if you are going back to that home then you should be prepared to forgive your husband and accept his new wife. if you go back there because you fell pressured or ashamed of what society may say then you have sentenced your self to a lifetime of unhappiness. The hurt your husband put you through will sear through your heart when that child cries. there will be so much pain in your mind when you see this woman walk into your husband room and make you feel like a furniture in the home. please my dear, take your supermarket and please get yourself a nice home. who knows you may meet a lovely man who will marry you and give you kids in a year. please life is too short to sentence your self to a lifetime of unhapiness. sometimes things happen for a reason, maybe the dog of your employee was sent by God to take the Dog of your husband so you can have a meaningful life. please leave and go and build a life. if no husband comes, there a lots of helpless children you can adopt and give a better life in that way you will be remembered as a woman who turned such a negative into a positive. i wish you well.

Be patient for God is able. He said 'call upon me in the day of trouble, i will deliver you and you will honour me'.

ronkebp:

i feel your post.....i also have an uncle who has been married for 14 years, and had twins just last year....2 handsome boys....who did not go around testing his sperm on every young girl. i have another aunt, this is my mother's younger sister, been married for 10 years now still no issue, has fibroid problem and the hubby still adores his wife till tomorrow, and he has not gone out to impregnate another girl outside. Both are still holding on to the faith that they will be parents to their children someday.

I am sincerely happy for your Uncle who had twins after 14 years. I pray for your Aunt who has been married for 10 years that God will answer her quickly. I applaud the spouses in both cases. But this is the problem; you are assuming that every man will be like your uncle, or your aunty's husband? That my dear is unrealistic and unachievable. Without barrenness of any sort in any wife, my grandfather had 56 children from 26 women, and honestly, i still have not met any of his direct male children (the ones i know) who has children from only one woman. Cultures differ madam. People have totally different standards. Some of the things you consider abnormal 'ti di baraku fun awon enikan'.

Sisi_Kill: Rotflmao. . . The drama between Ronke and Lastpage is getting inneressing!

They both crack me up.

Bobajo:




I am sincerely happy for your Uncle who had twins after 14 years. I pray for your Aunt who has been married for 10 years that God will answer her quickly. I applaud the spouses in both cases. But this is the problem; you are assuming that every man will be like your uncle, or your aunty's husband? That my dear is unrealistic and unachievable. Without barrenness of any sort in any wife, my grandfather had 56 children from 26 women, and honestly, i still have not met any of his direct male children (the ones i know) who has children from only one woman. Cultures differ madam. People have totally different standards. Some of the things you consider abnormal 'ti di baraku fun awon enikan'.

You are right BOBAJO, no two people can be exactly alike, just pointing out that there are still men out there, who are responsible and will take the feelings of their wives into consideration, and that is real love and respect. I think if you truly "love" someone you will not do anything to hurt them, irrespective of whatever stress or duress the person is under, whether from family, friends or society at large.

jennykadry:

They both crack me up.

I am just seeing Sisi-kills' remark.....don't mind me and Lastpage jare!!....e never see anything yet!!!

Go with your parent's advise. I don't think renting another apartment for the girl is a good idea because it would always give the man an excuse to leave the house at will & further ridicule you. Besides the girl would need his physical presence as the pregnancy develops & shortly before & after birth.

This is the time to show him how much you do love him. He would one day see the difference between you & his new wife. Its always the case with men who would stop at nothing in their usual way of comparing the women in their lives. If you have faith & a relaxed mind you would certainly conceive & wipe away your tears. However, if you show your husband disdain & contempt, it would complicate the situation further, as you would definitely loose him completely to the other lady.

I wish you all the best. Please try to forgive him & stay in the house. Goodluck!!!

In receiving advice,always put the future into consideration. I would have advised you to stay put but insist on alternative accomodation for her but that will be a temporary remedy & wont solve the problem in the long run. If that ladys ist kid is a boy he automatically becomes the heir whether they live in the house/not even if you have your own child & if not, GOD FORBID anything happens to your husband that house you built will become temporary cos your inlaws might throw you out. Also once the child is born your husband will not give you attention as such cos the new wife will demand full attention from him most especially if shes living in another apartment. My dear, its a painful decision to make but ALWAYS PUT THE FUTURE INTO CONSIDERATION!

Johnny: I want to anwer ur question; “where did i go wrong?“....so u dont know dat u went wrong all through?U literally became d “man“ of d house superving ur building project &coming home late in d nite “tired“ abandoning ur home &business,yet u dnt no where u went wrong?its pride (owning ur apartment),arrogance (coming home anytime u like),greed (u didnt want d workers to steal ur materials) stupidity (not caring about ur husband sexual need) that pushed u into this.Did u hear urself;IT WAS AFTER FIVE WHOLE YEARS THAT U SETTLED DOWN TO MAKE A FAMILY!!Stupid....Arrant nonsense....The guy should hasten up the wedding please.u can go &build more apartments,possibly become a site Engineer,thats where u re productive!

@ OP
I am seriously doubting dat this is a real life story or "cut and paste" but assuming that it is a true story ,I have to say I agree with the poster quoted above.

It takes two partners to make a marriage work & it takes two partners to make it fail. The OP is not in anyway free of blame .she left her" marriage goalpost" wiiiide open & the devil took advantage and scored a goal.
The OP has a choice to make ,she can choose to put her self righteous anger aside and accept her fault (no matter how little she thinks it is) in order to learn from it and rebuild her marriage or she can concede total defeat and call it quits.

He was the one that messed up. You are the one that needs to be meting out conditions, not him nor his family.

stillwater: He was the one that messed up. You are the one that needs to be meting out conditions, not him nor his family.

In Nigeria? The woman should accept the man is not hers.

So Filani is she supposed to be watching her every man's moveA man that wants to cheat will cheat no matter how much she guides the goal post or not...Every one gets tempted but the man was stupid enough to fall rather than stand strong and resist the devil...

The problem here is that stupid Nigerian culture that thinks that the woman has the power to produce a child of her own accord and power. Who gave any human the right to place such a high premium of having kids. Kids are a gift from God and its up to God to decide to either bless a couple with one or not and if he doesnt then find other thing to do with your life and not wrap you life around having children....

P.s my aunt has been married 25 years and no kids yet her relationship with her husband is one to be emulated...I have lived with them so i know what i am saying...they spend their time giving to the community rather than running helter skelter trying to help God give them a child...

By the way my post was refering to Filani

ronkebp:

You are right BOBAJO, no two people can be exactly alike, just pointing out that there are still men out there, who are responsible and will take the feelings of their wives into consideration, and that is real love and respect. I think if you truly "love" someone you will not do anything to hurt them, irrespective of whatever stress or duress the person is under, whether from family, friends or society at large.

So the fact of a man impregnating another girl make him irresponsible? I dont understand that kind of logic. MKO is irresponsible? Alhaji Bakare of the Ojomu Chieftaincy Family is irresponsible? I can mention several, and all of the ones i know provided for their families excellently (including even extended family). Underline the word excellently please.

I had a girlfriend while i was in the University, a beautiful half fulani girl who told me, with all seriousness, that her life's ambition later in life is to be the first of 4 wives, and boss all the junior wives around. The thought of her being an only wife has never even occurred to her based on her upbringing.

It is all relative madam. 'Bi a ti nse nibi, eewo ibo mi'. And impregnating somebody else can never ever be equated to being irresponsible.

Bobajo:


So the fact of a man impregnating another girl make him irresponsible? I dont understand that kind of logic. MKO is irresponsible? Alhaji Bakare of the Ojomu Chieftaincy Family is irresponsible? I can mention several, and all of the ones i know provided for their families excellently (including even extended family). Underline the word excellently please.

I had a girlfriend while i was in the University, a beautiful half fulani girl who told me, with all seriousness, that her life's ambition later in life is to be the first of 4 wives, and boss all the junior wives around. The thought of her being an only wife has never even occurred to her based on her upbringing.

It is all relative madam. 'Bi a ti nse nibi, eewo ibo mi'. And impregnating somebody else can never ever be equated to being irresponsible.

You are right. In a culture where human feelings are not considered, and when I say human I mean women (they are human, while men are gods), a man who practises polygamy and adultery is not at all irresponsible.

michelin89:

You are right. In a culture where human feelings are not considered, and when I say human I mean women (they are human, while men are gods), a man who practises polygamy and adultery is not at all irresponsible.

Emigrate to the western world (if you are not already there); marry there, divorce your husband if he smiles at another woman (which happens). Generally do anything that takes your fancy. Or better still, don't marry at all. Problem solved. Spare me the whine about human feelings