ZIM DRILL: the husband is stupid to agree on what the his family says to him

and also you are to blame, unless if am missing something how can you hire a maid when you are just the two of you

was that house being built 24/4 and those people couldnt continue doing the work for few hours that you could go to buy groceries?

my goodness! Did u even read the post?? The pregnant girl isnt a maid! And she does not live in their home.

You can't change your past but can determine your future. There's nothing you can do about the pregnancy but you most certainly can determine the living arrangements afterwards! Your husband should go get an apartment for the wife-to-be if he cares about you or your feelings. PERIOD.

Some people are just heartless!

Whao!

This life

Too long jor! am out.

men can neva change!!! what else does a man need, God gave him a good and diligent wife, yet he still exhibit the nasty attitude in him!!who knows maybe its his friends that pushed him, but all things r clear to God!
Dear woman, please call on your God n pour your heart to him, am sure He will put a smile on your face soonest by His grace! the deeds already been done!!

What I would say has to do with religious and cultural values, am from the north and I know I would be criticized but just open your mind first.
To my religious value I see nothing in her moving into the house the problem is him not telling you what's going on and confessing to you what he had done and the action taking afterwards, that's the betrayal and its not accepted religiously, so U go into prayers for that to heal ur wounded heart.
To my cultural values, a woman is responsibly to take care of the house hold not busy building a house, you forgot your duties to your husband and went out doing his job n forgotten yours, I wouldn't be surprise if in those years you were building the house you dint share ur bed with him, U dint bother to know his feelings as a man, his need, what he eat, what he does on his free time.
My Heart goes to you for the betrayal but now its a trying time so u just have to be 4giving, patient, and pray full for the good days to come because ALLAH says in the Qur'an "For every hardship there is a relief" so just turn to GOD N he would answer ur prayers!

Dear OP, i feel your pain and had tears in my eyes by the time i was done reading.
But, please how is ur husband even sure that d baby is even his?

its easy to blame the poor man but everybody has a breaking point. after six year of marriage still nothing to show, i dont think you understand how much pressure the poor guy must have been under from his family.its not as if he is getting any younger. @poster, i hope your prayers will be answered soon. just make the girl dont move in with you.

As much as this look like most nigerian movies av seen. If this were to be real then u are placed in a difficult situation where u're require to make tough call.

Don't forget also that u'll probably be getting a lot of both useful n misleading advices. And u've got to be careful d kind of decisions u make no matter how pissed off u might be right now. Best advice Pray to God n he'll guide u through but that is if u believe. If u don't belive then I 'll suggest u follow ur instincts.May God help u

How is that our business ?

StateOfMind:

The fact that it was her employee hit me the most. How disrespectful and betraying! I just hope insensitive guys don't troop in here to spew trash. The last thing this woman needs is mockery or blame of any form.

I'm sure if she saw any signs she'd have sent the girl away. Clear case of women are their worst enemies! What was the silly girl thinking getting close to her oga's hubby to the extent of getting pregnant! She's nothing but a sl-ut, I guess she should be over 18, an adult, so I'm sure she knew exactly what she was doing. What was the hubby thinking putting his wife's employee in a family way! This man has absolutely NO respect for his marriage, its just so unfortunate. Some men deserve to be cursed! I'm so pissed I don't even know how to compose my post sef. This betrayal from both parties can kill. It is so easy to tell you to calm down and accept it all cos I'm not in your shoes.

*sighs*

May God grant you the strength and wisdom to do what is right. It is well.

Yea. The words in bold rings true - and it scared me the most. The useless guy should have at the least consulted with the wife before doing what he did. But then again, I understand how he might have felt. You women can be so very difficult at times, talking and trying to reason with you can be a waste of time.

Anyway, OP, take heart and just do as mazaje said.

sashaa: Dear OP, i feel your pain and had tears in my eyes by the time i was done reading.
But, please how is ur husband even sure that d baby is even his?

@you can do a blood test but you might want to wait till you have you own child first.

Was the house built in just your "husband's" name? I will just give my opinion. Don't let that church rat into your home. If you have to go to court to take you house then do so. Do you really believe for one moment thaat you have a chance. The man you were married to threw you under the boss after slaving for him for years. I am not excusing adultery but if he just did it becaus ehe wanted a child he would not plan with his family to throw you out because that is exactly what will happen when she moves in. Please don't take the easy way. Stand your ground. I can't even think of one nice word to say about your husband. If it was him that had problems would it be okay for you to get pregnant on your own. Who knows the child is probably not his and the smart girl got pregnant because she knew she could nab him that way.

Poster,
Quite sad.i do not know what to say in this instance.
i am shedding tears in my heart for you.
Some men can be so heartless,so mean,so wicked!
To impregnate your own employee and marry her,to live in the same house with you?
Is this a home video or real life experience?
When some men suffer in future and do not know the cause and people pity them or blame a witch or wizard somewhere,one of the cause is when a man deals treacherously with the wife of his youth which the Bible warns against in Malachi 2:14-16.God is a merciful God but also a consuming fire.(Hebrews 12:29).

Please forgive him though difficult it will be and hand over the whole matter to God who is a God of Vengeance(Psalms 94:1).As long as you have been faithful to him and have not committed adultery with any other man since you married him,God will fight for you.Attimes,its when it appears that the world is crashing on our heads that God does His wonders.Put your whole trust in the Lord.He will surely make a way(Isaiah 43:18-19).

Do not fight them oh,please.Just be calm and be praying to God.
The whole episode will surely work out for your good and the devil will be put to shame.Attimes when such problems arise and it looks as if the ground should open and swallow us up,tis then God will do a divine turnaround that makes way for a testimony.When Daniel's enemies plotted against him for evil and threw him into the lion's den,God turned the whole matter around and the enemies were eventually destroyed by the lions while Daniel was promoted above all others in the Kingdom.

When Joseph's brethren plotted against him and sold him into slavery,they did not know that they were going to end up crawling before him for food.From the position of slave,he became Prime Minister in the same land he was a slave.

When Haman prepared a gallow to hang Mordecai on,the God of Mordecai turned matters around and Haman was hung on his own gallows while Mordecai became a noble in Haman's place.

There are countless other examples in the Bible.One thing is certain is that God knew it would happen and saw it coming and allowed it to happen.God is not a wicked God but has a purpose in everything happening under the sun.He knows the end from the beginning.the whole thing is an attack from the Devil but have total faith in God who is able to do all things.I have the belief that you will laugh last and laugh best but do not know what shape it will occur.You will have a resounding testimony soon.

Cheer up and get closer to the Lord who is our refuge in times of trouble.I want you to call upon Him(Psalm 50:15) and He has promised to answer and deliver us in the day of trouble.The Bible tells us in Job 14:1-2 that 'few are the days of man but full of troubles''.
In this world,we are all going to walk through a wilderness whether we like it or not.I am walking mine now and it is a real experience but i know that i will not die in this wilderness.Maybe your wilderness journey has started.You need to ask God for the grace to sail through it successfully.

My sister,you have every reason to appreciate God despite what happened to you (Psalms 103:2).Many are in the hospitals crying in terrible agony,many are in detention,in psychiatry,prison custody,in the grave,on the way to the mortuary now.Last Sunday,we went for Police Cell Evangelism.I gave great thanks to God that at least i am not in a place like that police cell where we went to preach the Gospel to detainees.You alive today, are not better than them who are dead.We are alive now by His grace and mercies.Trust that He will make you laugh again,convert your tears to laughter,your reproach to honour and glory(Isaiah 61:3)

Hello take my advice get to abuja for I v f and get your baby am a medical personel without a baby now you will loose every thing so go to nisa perimer hospital the earlier the better pls don't do anything to the girl

hmmmm,this is really hurtful. Seems u'r a cool type not to hv takn any drastc decsn. Ur marriage is too young for all this. U must pay them bk in their own coin, u know the girl's house, get some area boys to beat the day light out of her ensuring she loses the preg, as for ur husy,let me think wht u'll do to him. Will be bk.

I only watch this kind of story on tv, any way be patient Allah/God is always with the patient people.

I am overwhelmed by the response of the lovely people here.It gave me some comfort in my mind.
I decided to post because of the state of confusion I am in.My husbands people insist I must allow the girl to move into the house,since she is pregnant for their son and I am not.
I can not leave my husband because to tell the truth I still love him even though he has hurt me deeply.
People please learn from my mistakes.Try and be closer to your God as I have tried to be over the last few weeks,although I keep screaming in my mind why me?
Thank you everybody.Now I just want to go and lie down and try to sleep.

Pls am begging you,seriously do not leave the house.try to convince your husband to rent another flat somewhere for her.reasons;if you stay with her under the same roof,trust me u won't get along with her,then it will be late your husband will ask u to leave instead.at these period of convincing him just smile like all is well.cos if you tell him in a jealous way then u have ruin the whole thing.

Another home video script....Watch out for Part 2........ Just sick and tired of all these posts.

Woman,call your husband,sit down with him and ask him his plans NOW?The family etal is gone,its just u and him,ask him what he intends doing now!

If he can't come up with any meaningful or realistic answer,tell him subtly that u cant share your home with another woman and you are not ready to move out too.Go ahead and suggest he gets another apartment for the lady.

He should be able to tell you his plans for the girl.Is it just the(this) child or he has plans to be with her permanently?

To some people,this is a deal breaker,no 2 ways about that but its your call,your life.
Think through alone,search your soul and decide on whats best for you.

It's painful to find people attempting to justify d man's action based on what we hav read here. Although we hav to b careful of a one-sided story, but assuming this is d whole truth then its cruel. We need to stop acting like a marriage is a bondage. No its not! Marriage was made for man and not man for marriage. Have u been betrayed before? What did u do to d close friend who back-stabbed u? Now u hav same person and his accomplice right under your roof and sharing food and bed? Do u think the problem will go away? Do u think she will regain happiness? U mean she will b in dat house and her best memories will b d bye-gone years?

No! The very essence of d marriage has been betrayed and effectively removed. The family sanctioned the wickedness with apology and advice to resignation. There's no more shred of dignity left for her in dt home. Neither is there future of bliss for her there any longer. No point agreeing to suffer and play d third person in d house.

I feel so so pained.

The only hope is God.You have seen what man can do.You need not to pack out of the house. What God has joined together,let no man put asunder.The devil has come to attack you home but it left to you to claim your right.Put up courage and fight with last drop of your blood i.e pray,pray and pray.The lady in question will leave the house for you if you can call on Almighty God to bail you out.You are legally married and he belongs to you.I pray the Lord to help in this time of trouble in Jesus name.Amen

@OP
Your husband is very wicked and selfish, I can bet he built your house in his own name alone and probably all your properties will be in his name. What I'm concerned about is how financially secured you are; if you're financially secured I'll advise you leave this selfish man because he's not worth it. If you feel you're not financially secured, I'll advise you stay put but don't get pregnant, to enable you map out plans on how to take your own deserved portion if his estate before hanging him out to dry.

So Sorry.

My dear this is not a new thing. It started from the bible days, look at Abraham, he was in a similar situation. Just Hang in there and love the girl, maybe God will see the love u have for the girl and answer ur prayers. I feel ur pain, but such is life. Being mean to either of them will not solve the problem, but whole heartedly be nice and friendly, offering even a helping hand. God will visit u. I will include u in my prayer list.

My aunt has the same problem after 16 yrs of marriage, she has now been throwned out of the house. This is even sad cos she single handedly brought the husband to America.

He was totally against her and said I should have employed a boy because he believed a boy was more trust worthy and would be more serious about the shop......... Handwritting on d wall.........bt all i kno is dat God have a reason 4 it.....jst move closer 2 him n b very very patient

I have some questions. Are you complaining or asking for advice? How did you marry your husby, was it a christian courtship that led to marriage? My advice 1 don't leave your home under any condition unless your life is threatened. 2 Accept the child but not the woman. If you are a true xtian, i will also say, do not fear, you can sedn this stranger out on your kneels but get control of your emotions first.

stay put in that house? i wouldn't. we will settle in court and you take your part and I take mine and move on. And If i can afford a good lawyer, you will get nada!
i wouldn't want to be part of the marriage.
did he stop to think that stress might have had a way for your inability to get pregnant? instead of reducing your workload
to make you rest and do less, he was busy servicing your store keeper.

mazaje, do you think the husband will be interested in ivf at this stage? I think IVF in the next marriage definitely not in this one.
OP, I hope you really know how to deal with that man. give him a bitter pill to swallow.

Let's hit the facts,
how many abortion(s) did u guys had or you especially wit those ur aristos. Or while u've been claiming to be all faithful what exactly went wrong? Let's talk karma, cos it really goes bad for some set of people without reasons i can outrightly explain.

[size=15pt]karma karma karma.....ladies beware.[/size]

accept it and move on.just live ur life according to God's word.life is short.do ur part.also remember that ur husband still loves u.dont screw things up