My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. - Family (4) - Nairaland
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| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by juman(m): 8:00pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
andyanders: Listen, your case is not a problem for God to solve. For you to receive a blessing from God, express forgiveness to both and love the lady. I know is going to be hard but forgive and allow God to take control. By the child coming into the family and your ability to forgive,love and care for the lady and the child, will go a long way for God to open your womb. Ask God to bring peace into this home. Ask God for this lady not to be fetish in life. The greatest thing you can do is to forgive your husband. Devil is trying to destroy your peace as devil will always loo for homes where there is peace to destroy. God will give you the wisdom to handle this. Do NOT be jealous over this lady, rather ask God to visit you and wipe away you tears. No matter how you are been provoked, never allow the spirit of anger and unforgiving to take control of your life. If you display anger over this lady, you can never get pregnant.^^^ I agree with you @andyanders. God our creator, knew why things happened that way. She should be prayerful and forgive both of them and move on. There is nothing bad living with the young lady, because the husband's family will not accept that the young lady should move out. There are many similar cases like that. May God be with her. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Gertynk: 8:05pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
At pple judging her past saying if she had an abotion or dated a married man, God does not opereate in that way b4 now there has been issue of barreness but there is always a testimony at d end if we trust in himy. If men were God mmmm ppl and hypocricy 1 Like |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Sholeyb: 8:14pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
You know darling, God has a good sense of humor. You will surely laugh last, wait and see the goodness of God. My advice, forgive, try to heal, learn from this and move on in your heart but don't move out of the house, let your husband rent a place for her. Don't live with her, it would be too much for you to bear,believe I have first hand experience of this from my parents marriage and if you allow this, more rubbish would be offered to you to at later stages in your marriage. Stay firm on her living elsewhere,its the best. Do not live with an enemy/snake under the same roof |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by blackboi(m): 8:17pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
free2ryhme:4rm ur kidney  |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by swiftycool(m): 8:17pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
At ur present state telling ur hubby to rent another house 4 d woman is a Big mistake u would make. You are very angry and bitter right now and its most likely u will torment your hubby for what he's done while at home alone with u. However, ur attitude would surely chase him out to the rented apartment with his new wife who has accepted his faults. U might end up getting shunned by those two and ending up alone as they grow a stronger bond, making u look like the true enemy. I suggest u let her stay with her family 4 a good while till u r prepared to let her in ur home. But remember one sure way to lose this whole game is by not forgiving ur hubby, use the time of her absence to renew ur love and strengthen ur bond b4 she comes in. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by member479760: 8:21pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
OP - again if you never legalized your own share of the house and business, do it right now! 50/50 with your husband and 50% of your husband should go to the family where you still have right for 25% based on 2 wives,your total is 75%. God will give you your own child. If you don't do it now and your husband die of HP owning too much f.ck you risk loosing all your labor, even if you have your own child tomorrow legalize your share please. mind you some bad yoruba culture will distribute the property equally among the wives |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by IYANGBALI: 8:41pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
you too should look for a sales boy and impregnate him now,after all do me i do you,God no go vex.Less i forget i am a sales boy. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by andyanders: 8:52pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Please do not subscribe to people advising you to ask your husband to rent another house for the lady. You mentioned here that you still love your husband. Note that if your husband ends up renting another house for this lady, that would be the greatest mistake of your life as he will end up relocating and move in within the lady. Show him love and tell him that you are aware it was because of the situation of things. That he should have known that it wasn't your making that you could not conceive at the right time to give him a baby. He should still show you same love when you first met.Also still love his baby and the mother of the baby. Forgive the lady, and show her love. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT plan any evil or think any evil against the lady and the baby. When you display that attitude of love and allow peace to reign, I know that the God we worship do not sleep. He said that we should allow Him to fight for us. Vengeance is in His hands. If the lady has evil thought in her mind and you have God, then note that she might be the one that your husband will find fault and she will leave. If you become aggressive and anything happens to the young lady and the baby, you will NEVER know peace as you will be accused of killing the baby or the mother or both. Only God can hear your true tears. Tears of sorrow and not that of anger, envy and prayer for God to kill your husband, the lady and baby cannot be answered. Always pray for her safe delivery and ask God to wipe away your tears by blessing you with the fruit of the womb. My sister, just give peace to your heart from now as your husband will one day kneel down and apologies to you and ask for forgiveness. This can ONLY happen when you allow the spirit of God to handle this. ONLY Jesus gives peace. Good luck. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Johndoe100(m): 8:55pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
This posters plight is regretable, she should ask her husband to keep his new wife somewhere else. However she is not being honest with us. If she is ok how come the new wife is pregnant? She knows she has a fertility problem and did nothing to hold her hubby in place, most men would do the exact same thing. I read a few of the posts and the women here were talking about tears. Why the tears? Would you advise your brother to stay with a barren woman? Why do you think her parents told her to go back? They understand the man's point of view. Sad, but that's life. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by chucky234(m): 8:59pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Very sad,you need to get very close to God and don't seize in prayers. God will surely bless you with fruits of the womb and put a lasting smile on your face,be patient with God and trust only on him to wipe away your tears. As for the girl don't make troubles with her but plead with your husband to get her an apartment somewhere far from you instead of bringing her into the house. Good luck. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Eleeesi(m): 9:09pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
 OP. This is sad, but my people said we frighten someone if we say we have never seen or heared this before. Listen to your parents advice. When things is like this it means solution is near. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by eyenCalabar(m): 9:10pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
My own little contribution: Please try as much as u can never to let this happening hamper ur happiness. Watch some comedy stuff and laugh out this bullsh/it your hubby is causing you. Very important, during your times prayer, don't let tears drop from ur eyes. Don't cry for anything. God does not respond to how u sober yourself in tears during prayer times but your FAITH is what would take a whole of what u need for you not tears. When u pray, BELIEVE that you have receive answers to your prayers else you'll be over disturbing yourself thinking God response to repeated request over one thing. Always believe that all things are working together for your good and so see this as an opportunity to grow your faith and be lifted spiritually. There's is nothing good and satisfying like being spiritually mad. Remember, u may be facing challenges that only the Holy Spirit can help u overcome them. Love the new wife. know she must have been advised negatively about you because of the way you are going to feel when u realize this whole s/hit but act maturity and surprise all of them even the unfortunate second wife. When the whole wedding is over and she move in, call and sit her down to talk. Welcome her again formally and tell her you are a friend. Each others view should always be respected and if there is any misunderstanding she should try and discuss it out with u peacefully. Again, don't cry for any reason 'cos it'll only make your situation worsen. Don't be anxious to get pregnant 'cos that alone can work in real opposite. Be happy always. As far as there is life, there is HOPE. Finally, this is a time to be very close to God more than ever before, speak His Words to yourself voraciously and again don't go to all this "special churches to look for 'assignment', what u need now is God's Word. Nairaland being the best place u can get real advice can at the same time be very dangerous for u at this time hence be very careful on reading opinions here. Goodluck. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by ZUBY77(m): 9:18pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
The movie will be titled ' my husband and my sales girl' . It should be directed by teco benson or fred amata. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by ekeroyal(m): 9:29pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
KINGwax: Let's hit the facts, In as much as I don't say you're totally right or wrong, you definitely have a point. Besides, NL never fails to amuse me. Where are all the dumbarses who'd say "it's her body she can do anything she likes with it", "tattoos are traditional -not new". "We're living in the 21st century". Blah-blah-blah! Now this is a similar story to that of a guy whose wife had tattoo around her private areas. But see the reaction is different, lots of sympathy flowing here, because it's a woman involved. But in the other fellow's case, the NL fools were shoving it down his throat. "Now, it's his body", "polygamy is ancient", even religious and "we're living in the very 21st century". How about that? SMH! NL dudes never cease to fool themselves. @OP, just listen to your parents, try not to cease loving your husband. I'm sure, if you're upright, your God will fight for you. That girl may even be thrown out of that house. I've seen it before. Any which way, life gives orange, grape, lemon, lime, bitter-leaf, just make the best out of your situation. All the best! |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by MOBBDEEP: 9:43pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
@KKK17, You got it all wrong! All men can't be same on this. I'm not sure of so many things about me I've done a lot of evils but the aboved can't be done by me. Generally speaking, the scenario above only depicted a misplaced values & priorities in disarray. Ab initio, the husband placed the value of a child over his 1st wife's value which is the fundamental problem here. If he had seen the wife as his better half, would he have done what he did? The essence of Life & the theme of Christianity has always been The Cross and this should be the yardstick to assess & evaluate matters arising/issues. What's the Cross? - Relationship between an individual & other humans the environment on one hand & this interlacing with this individual's relationship with God on the other hand. Pronto! Use this rule or idea to adjudicate matters & you can't be far from the panacea e.g for the OP's case, how many people can you say that dastard act actually made happy? - God?, the OP ?, the husband? Or the maid self? Nothing can ever take the place of the Cross! I keep telling my clients that fertile or barren, rich or poor, tall or dark, bottomful or bosomless,educated or illiterate, 12inches or 1cm .....etc, it's only a variable & it's only a means. It is not the end nor the essence. @OP, Humans can be unexpectantly wicked. Just look up to your God & forgive. If you grieve too much & perhaps, you forget to forgive, you are only doing yourself a disservice because it can block your womb. Scientific facts & Experience has proven that Anxiety, Worrying or 'highly tensioned' mind disrupt fertility. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by delpee(f): 9:44pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
So sad, guy is really impatient.  Obey your parents and try to forgive your husband. Since you are both comfortable, you can afford to seek alternative methods of conception. Your husband is likely to cooperate if you forgive and remain the loving and dutiful wife he married. Worry less about the salesgirl but be very prayerful. I pray that very soon your husband is able to decipher between a loving wife and an opportunist/backstabber and give you the love and respect that you deserve. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Nobody: 9:46pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Cassa: I married my husband six years ago. What type of house were you building for five years? Did you go to the building site everyday? You are very naive for your husband to be bleeping someone under your nose for five years undetected! Behavioral wise either from your husband or employee, you should have noticed something awkward. Go and adopt a child and move on with your life! |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by LadyT(f): 9:47pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Its your house you slaved away to help build it, you must stay put. God will answer your prayers I am sure. There is no reason why she has to stay in YOUR house I dont buy that. It is not a crime to be childless and you are not a criminal. Your husband should feel total shame and total disgust with himself while you were running around to better your lives he was sleeping around. Stay strong and now you know the only person you can trust is yourself and God. Your tears will turn to joy! |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by LadyT(f): 9:49pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
bayooooooo: The house didnt take 5 years to build! They started it three years into their marriage |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Theblessed(f): 9:50pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
[size=16pt][b] B e t r a y a l o f t h e l a s t o r d e r !!! Hmmm! Men selfishness and wickedness – only Hades will save them!!! My sister, sorry to read this heart rendering story about your current situation! My advice is; stay put in your marriage - for "No weapon forged against you shall prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you, declared the Lord" Amen, Amen and Amen!!! The Lord Almighty is your refuge, run to him and he will put all those who conspired against you, (innocent person), in an everlasting shame!!!!That's what the Holy Spirit put in my heart right now, to tell you, ok! Because of this, be on your knees day and night – continue to pour your heart out to God Almighty (but, no negative prayers must be uttered by you pls, only state the facts/truths as you saw it in this matter; present your request to God) until this innocent child conceived out of lies and deceit and, entangled in this evil Soul-tie/unholy matrimony, is born. This is a spiritual battle you have to fight and win therefore, "Cast your burden upon the Lord and he will sustain you, he will NEVER let the righteous fall". Psalm Chpt.55 v. 22. My sister, I know your heart is broken but remember, the God of Justice and Righteousness will come forth for you and comfort you so, if you'd been distant from God, this is the time to run very, very fast to Jesus Christ the Son of God, and he will put your enemies under your foot, Amen! Personally, with all you described here, I feel you and your husband had been a bit distant from God. Based on your determination to make it or succeed in life - you had not taken proper care of your spiritual lives together - remember, Jesus said, 'All that the father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me, I will never drive away". John Chpt. 6 v.37. But, how do we mortals come to Jesus Christ? Most of us only comes to Jesus at such time as this - when we are in trouble/difficulty. Yes, it is through sudden changes in our lives that God send us to his Son, Jesus Christ - and, he has sent you to him now therefore, run to Jesus in Faith, and don’t look elsewhere - focus on him and him only, he will deliver you!!! You see, you don't need to tell us, we all know your heart is broken but remember, "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit" Psalm Chpt. 34 v. 18. He is watching every thing done to you and also, the part you, yourself played in this matter - he is a Fair, Just and Righteous God, do not forget that! So, surrender all to Jesus Christ, and all those who conspired in this wickedness to hurt/harm you, will receive their portions. So, do not worry, and remember God's words, "For I am the Lord who heals you" soon, God Almighty will heal your pain with joy and happiness, in Jesus Name, Amen! Always pray in Faith citing the above Scriptures plus others you'd find in the Bible, and do not get tired of praying whether your prayers are answered or not - continue in your prayers and your God will show up for you. Finally, in whatever you do, please, take care of Number One – ‘you’.!!![/b][/size] |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by ronkebp(f): 9:51pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Cassa my dear...... 1. i really, really feel for you.....the deed has been done there is nothing anyone can do about it, except God. 2. I know you love your hubby and would want to make it work, irrespective of what has happened, he listened to his family and that has affected his decisions. 3. I would have preferred you talk to your hubby to get another house for her, but this is not going to be the case as, his family members want the other lady to be in his house, and that is a disguise to push you to the wall so that you can live the marraige. 4. My dear be ready for greater battles ahead....because you have not seen anything yet, this is not to scare you at all, but to make you strong, if you sleep all through the night before, this is the time for you to wake up and call on God, He is the only one that knows how to fight our battles, you have so many prayer points....like nothing should happen to that baby and the lady (or else they would say you were the cause), nothing must happen to your husband( or else they would say, you hurt him out of jealousy and hatred), pray for peace in your marraige and your relationship with your hubby, pray for yourself, that God should answer your prayers. 5. Forgive them, and let God do the rest, we all have learnt lessons from your story, and that is " never trust anyone" the Bible says,"woe unto the person that puts his or her trust in man".... 6. Try all your best to live at peace with this woman.....but be wise, " be gentle as a dove and wise as a serpent" do not trust anyone.....not even your hubby, trust God....you are the only one fighting this battle....this is your cross and God will help you carry it.....See it as an affliction, and God in his infinite Mercies will save you from all. The Lord is your strength. " it shall be well"". now this advice is from the good and godly side of Ronkenu!!!! |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Nobody: 9:55pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
homerac7: This is a very sad news. What the husband has done Is purely wickedness. +1. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by tasandra: 10:05pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Tell him,to look 4 a place 4 that gurl..Wow what a story  if u cant trust ur luv, whom else can u trust  that guy s a big sucker  and a shame to tru luv.. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Amynamerica: 10:05pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
babaowo: .... Nollywood crap babaowo: .... Nollywood crap babaowo: .... Nollywood crap One shouldn't conclude such (as above) about these kind of issues. Just because they seem far-fetched doesn't mean they do not happen in our world. There are even worse cases. I can only say this: OP pray harder. Strangely enough, it is during such trying periods that our faith fails us. Just be strong, there is nothing God can't do. It is easy for me to say this though cos I am not the one wearing your shoes. It Is Well. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Dudugirl01(f): 10:06pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Fall on your knees and pray to God, don't think of leaving ur matrimony, God will bless you with children of your own! As for the salesgirl, I see her ending badly, take hearta, it is well |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Nobody: 10:08pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Johndoe100: This posters plight is regretable, she should ask her husband to keep his new wife somewhere else. However she is not being honest with us. If she is ok how come the new wife is pregnant? She knows she has a fertility problem and did nothing to hold her hubby in place, most men would do the exact same thing. Seriously |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by childluck(m): 10:14pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Sell the house and move on with your life. I would never trust a man like this again let alone allow him make love to me again. God will order your steps. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by tollu: 10:17pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
Damn, this is just crazy and must hurt like a million fire ants biting. One's heart would be physically heavy and tears would just keep falling. No, I can't imagine how painful this is. Na like this dem they push person go collect heavy winch. This must be really trying times for you OP, I'm so sorry. You said you still love him, you need to talk to know if the love is mutual because if he doesn't love you then that's a whole other issue. You need to discover if there's actually anything left to salvage. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Amynamerica: 10:23pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
colly227: Expect it too cos I'm pretty sure that you have slept with someone's future wife before. |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by kay9(m): 10:26pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
@OP, I'm so sorry, dear. Dont know what to tell you, honestly. I personally think your husband is a big fat wicked bas.tard, and your (ex)employee is y |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by alarm4: 10:30pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
......i am a man ...in these case i believe that it is due to much pressure that led the MAn into such calamity.but mean while maybe it might be pressure from his family or is close pals...i realy pity the 1st wife...well the deed as be done; i will advice the 1st wife to maintain peace with the husband since she started the foundation with him....or probably the MAN itself is the Only Son of his family and more pressure lead him to that Act...we men self na wah... |
| Re: My Story, Women And Men, Read And Learn From It. by Outstrip(f): 10:33pm On Apr 17, 2012 |
alarm4: ......i am a man ...in these case i believe that it is due to much pressure that led the MAn into such calamity.but mean while maybe it might be pressure from his family or is close pals...i realy pity the 1st wife...well the deed as be done; i will advice the 1st wife to maintain peace with the husband since she started the foundation with him....or probably the MAN itself is the Only Son of his family and more pressure lead him to that Act...we men self na wah... Here we go again. It is not the man that slept with his employee that shoould be held responsible. It is his family that unzipped his pants, spread her legs and forced him at gun point to screw her. They threatened to blow his brains off if he even thought of using a condom and when they were done they took the girl and went to hide her in the village until she gave birth. It is not the man at all. How can it be him. In fact it was remote control and if that one does nto work then it is the witches in the posters family that are jealous of her. Let us pity this poor poor man that cannot reason on his own. 2 Likes |
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