Siena:

So, how about couple without PC's, no email / cellphones?

Will you then decide you have to steam open your partner's letters?

Or sneak after them when they go out? Where will it end??

Couples cheated AND split up long before the influx of email and cellphones! These are mere "tools", but reading your partner's emails and texts will NOT save a marriage that's already in trouble!

She COULD give you her email password, but what about her work one? Are you going to demand the password to that one as well?

The most common reason people want their partner's email passwords, is because they don't trust them! All this "incase she / he forgets to read their email" is cobblers!

Invariably, after nosing through your partner's emails, and finding nothing, your brain WOULD create a different doubt, and you'll want to read his / her letters, and follow them to work on the sly.

Why stress yourself that much? Just call it a day, and find someone you can trust, if that's possible!

That is why you are my soul mate. May our marriage last for ever!

aloib:

it all depends on ure relationship wid the person, i knw what my friends can do and knw which ones would read my mails, even if my best friends shuld read them no harm done, the last thing they would even do is blackmail me if we end our friendship, trust them to bits

Like I said, come back to Nairaland in about 10 years and report your "new findings"!

saintchux (m)
Lagos, Nigeria
Posts: 400

Offline

  Re: Is It Okay To Read Your Wife's E-Mails?
« #144 on: Today at 08:11:42 AM » 

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Quote from: almondjoy on Today at 05:00:21 AM


Still on topic--good for you.  Please give your password to your pastor and all your husband's relatives too.   Why is it important to you that this your whole "village" should have your password?  What exactly is the thrill here?

I no send!!!!!!




If u can not share commmon email password, only God know what you will share with your husband.


Quote from: almondjoy on Today at 05:00:21 AM


No ves sir!      --it does not have to be a personal matter.  I am not saying I am the first to get married.  Just advising that before anyone discusses matters of marriage, one should be careful not to take certain things for granted you have not experienced yet.  You really have no authority to do so.

I no send!!!!!!




Why should I allow my self to experience everything other married couples have experienced before, you should learn from the experince of older couples. I advice you to join couples fellowship in your church. I invite to ours. We discuss marital issue there. If you attend couple fellowship, you won't have anything to hide, and you will hear other marital problem and solutions to it and you will not fall into that problems. Are advcing that we keep on re-iventing the wheel.


Quote from: almondjoy on Today at 05:00:21 AM

All I am saying is that leave all these ideologies and when you get married come back and let us compare notes.   If you notice here all who have worn those shoes, advocate the need for privacy in any relationship--especially marriage. Do you think they are mad?  Then single students constantly in "valentine" mood will come and be telling us about "having no privacy" in marriage and the need to share e-mails to show the world that we have nothing to hide.  The reality of it all is that by the time you have lived a successful marriage--you will have had too many skeletons in your cupboard that the cupboard will eventually fall apart.

Please when you have lived successfully in the same house for about 2 years without killing yourselves over whose turn it is to take out the thrash, then talk about sharing e-mail passwords.  Most of you cannot even spend your weekend sleep over sessions without escaping for a breath of fresh air and you are talking of "no need for privacy" and living the ideal life of dreams in your mind.


I no send!!!!!!




What privacy do someone I live in the same room, sleep in the same bed, change clothes in my presence, took bath with me requires. What privacy are you talking about? Please give us example may we do not understand.


Quote from: almondjoy on Today at 05:00:21 AM


Yes oh!  I have a lot to hide--so I can never share my e-mails with anybody.  Totally off limits.  And if you snoop--you do so at your own risk--just talk to your pastor about it not to me, since you got what you asked for.


I no send!!!!!!




Good for you. If what is in your e-mail can not be shared with your husband you claim to love, then it is not marriage or love you are in. If my wife hides anything from me, then she can kill me. She is the one that pack my parachute.

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr?---Oh boy, please share all the e-mails you want with anyone you want.  I have said my piece.  My e-mails are off limits to EVERYONE!!!! I repeat EVERYONE.    I am not interested in anybody else's.  No one should be interested in mine.

I said I have a lot to hide and so many things for my eyes and nose only!   That is my fantasy world and no one goes in there understand?---NO ONE.

So do what works for you and I will do what works for me.  As for examples of what constitutes "privacy" in a marriage--I think you are too young to understand.  They are "things" that will interest me only and I alone.  Nothing malicious or dangerous--just pleasurable things for my[b] "mind"[/b] alone. --- No sharing those.

very soon husband will demand password to wifes brain just to know what she is thinking

Ther is nothing wrong in reading ur wifes e-mail unless she has something she is hiding but if she refuses to give u her password please do yourself allot of good by forgetting about it.
Nkemify.

As an adult there r loads of stuff that u would rather keep private whether you're MARRIED OR NOT You know wat i mean right!!!hahaha

almond , u might be experienced and matured but trust me, because you have had bad experiences with friends dont mean i would have, i dont talk bull shit and i knw wat i'm saying, i have different friends and know wat each one of them can do, it all has to do wid trust,

but come to think of it, ur wife refusing to give yu her password isnt a big deal o, i mean if no one is free to do that wid me, then its no big deal, there are many things to deal with than worrying over mails or what not,

aloib:

almond , u might be experienced and matured but trust me, because you have had bad experiences with friends don't mean i would have, i don't talk bull shit and i knw what i'm saying, i have different friends and know what each one of them can do, it all has to do wid trust,

Biola, I trusted someone implicitly, I'm still smarting from a kick in the teeth.

So, just be careful whom you trust with your passwords.

aloib:

almond , u might be experienced and matured but trust me, because you have had bad experiences with friends don't mean i would have, i don't talk bull shit and i knw what i'm saying, i have different friends and know what each one of them can do, it all has to do wid trust,

Oh what a nice young lady you are.  The "sweet sound" of innocence.  I have not had bad experiences with friends believe it or not.  Please stay over there in the "phillipland" and don't set your feet in Nigeria anytime soon.  People like you--so trusting are easy prey. But I like your trusting nature--it is very refreshing. 

aloib:

but come to think of it, your wife refusing to give yu her password isnt a big deal o, i mean if no one is free to do that wid me, then its no big deal, there are many things to deal with than worrying over mails or what not,

Yet UHURU!!!!  I think we have finally arrived at the same conclusion.  Unless you are absolutely jobless or insecure would anyone even think of another person's e-mail contents.  I am too too busy for that kind of nonsense and frankly, there is nothing in another person's e-mail that could possibly interest me.  I have enough "blockbuster" topics in my own e-mail box to keep me busy for a life time.

Siena:

Biola, I trusted someone implicitly, I'm still smarting from a kick in the teeth.

So, just be careful whom you trust with your passwords.

I am sorry I hurt you babeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.  Throwing lots of smoochies and hugs your way from the "bottom power" of my heart. It was the work of the devil!   Promise it will never happen again. 

if almondjoy's husband ever reads her posts on nairaland . . . we could be witnessing our first divorce on the land. God forbid!

almondjoy:

Oh what a nice young lady you are. The "sweet sound" of innocence. I have not had bad experiences with friends believe it or not. Please stay over there in the "phillipland" and don't set your feet in Nigeria anytime soon. People like you--so trusting are easy prey. But I like your trusting nature--it is very refreshing.

i see this over and over again.
have you met any "friend" teenager that did not say the same about her friends.
did not our parents give us the same advice,
there comes a time when people go another way and that is after school.
students to students, workers to workers and drop out to drop outs.

The answer is Capital NO.

There is no reason why anyone should read anothers emails. for christs sake can i not have a life just cos i am married? for all of u who are saying the man has every right to know, does he also have the right to know that my father has transfered an STD to my mother? huh! gimme a break! every body has a right to some privacy. its totally up to u 2 give up that right or not.

mamaput:



i see this over and over again.
have you met any "friend" teenager that did not say the same about her friends.
did not our parents give us the same advice,
there comes a time when people go another way and that is after school.
students to students, workers to workers and drop out to drop outs.

There you go!  Thanks mamaput--always with a lot of wisdomly letters.  It is good to be young----as teenagers and 20 somethings.  The log will soon fall out of most peoples eyes.

davidylan:

if almondjoy's husband ever reads her posts on nairaland . . . we could be witnessing our first divorce on the land. God forbid!

Ooooooooooooooooh!  I am pissing in ma pants!!!!   I  am so scared! 

Heh!   Let us just say I have "privacy" on certain issues just as he has "privacy" on certain issues. We compromise very well.  The secret of any meaningful and successful "union"!!!!  Learn that davidylan-----learn that!

angel101:

There is no reason why anyone should read anothers emails. for christs sake can i not have a life just because i am married? for all of u who are saying the man has every right to know, does he also have the right to know that my father has transfered an STD to my mother? huh! gimme a break! every body has a right to some privacy. its totally up to you to give up that right or not.

Amen to that!!!

Another wise female in the house!!!!  Some relish the idea of "marriage" being a life sentence without any privileges at all.  Foul!  Infact, the longer you are married--the more privileges you accquire! You earn them! I refuse to give up my rights to my "private fantasy world of e-mails"!   Too much pleasure derived from that.  That thrill cannot be duplicated even with a boyfriend or husband--sorry oh!

I tried not to register my prescence in this tread but I got pissed off by some responses I am reading in here.

A wife hid her password from her man and you are talking about privacy?

What kind of privacy are you talking about in marriage that your man should not know?

If you dont tell such secret to your hubby, what for god sake, are you going to tell him again?

MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SHARING SECRETS AND RELATED MATTERS. If not why do you decide to be together and be strangers, yes strangers, that does not know anything about you. Funny enough , a stranger might even know more about you than your hubby.




@ Almondjoy

I wouldn't know why you decide to be the way you are but I am sure the best is better than anything you think of.


As for me, If there is anyway I can know my wife's password to her brain, she will willingly give it to me. I know her PINs,passwords and any other access sensitive issues both electronic and hard materials.Not by force , she believes you have to know and she unconciously does that. I admire her for that and it makes me to reciprocate by being all-time faithful to her

I can drop my three handsets for my wife to answer if she cares. She carelessly drops her two fones in the house anytime anyday and will be annoyed with me if she sees a missed call why the fone is near me.(Dont like answering her calls)

Above all, she is a very beautiful woman that any man will always dream of.

If you don;t have any skeleton in your cupboard, you will give your spouse any access he desires in your life. only few marriages that are secretive survive the test of time. Speaking from experience of a close one.

ANOTHER WORD FOR MARRIAGE IS TRANSPARENCY. IT WORKS LIKE A LUBRICANT.



I rest my case.

Please you guys should not come in here if what you have to write has been echoed and re-echoed!  Let this thread die a natural death please!!!!!!

Frankies:

I tried not to register my prescence in this tread but I got pissed off by some responses I am reading in here.

A wife hid her password from her man and you are talking about privacy?

What kind of privacy are you talking about in marriage that your man should not know?

If you don't tell such secret to your hubby, what for god sake, are you going to tell him again?

MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SHARING SECRETS AND RELATED MATTERS. If not why do you decide to be together and be strangers, yes strangers, that does not know anything about you. Funny enough , a stranger might even know more about you than your hubby.




@ Almondjoy

I wouldn't know why you decide to be the way you are but I am sure the best is better than anything you think of.

As for me, If there is anyway I can know my wife's password to her brain, she will willingly give it to me. I know her PINs,passwords and any other access sensitive issues both electronic and hard materials.Not by force , she believes you have to know and she unconciously does that. I admire her for that and it makes me to reciprocate by being all-time faithful to her

I can drop my three handsets for my wife to answer if she cares. She carelessly drops her two fones in the house anytime anyday and will be annoyed with me if she sees a missed call why the phone is near me.(Dont like answering her calls)

Above all, she is a very beautiful woman that any man will always dream of.

If you don;t have any skeleton in your cupboard, you will give your spouse any access he desires in your life. only few marriages that are secretive survive the test of time. Speaking from experience of a close one.

ANOTHER WORD FOR MARRIAGE IS TRANSPARENCY. IT WORKS LIKE A LUBRICANT.

I rest my case.

See me see wahala oh!   Did I say I wanted to marry you? If I were married to your kind and you ever read my e-mails, I will gladly kick you and your suitcase out! Who cares about your 3 cell phones? You ain't impressing me, sorry! Sure your wife is beautiful and so are billions out there! Now--Step!!!!!

war tactic.:
give the dog a bone to keep him busy. That way you can do what you came for.
If my husband left all his phones for me etc etc. ., i will thats for me a bone,
some people still meet in the good old way and that is through messages my word of mouth.
If am meeting my lover today at 10 we will book the next appointment b4 we part.

apart from the privacy ur intrudin on, u will just kill urself,

I can`t remember any thread that I`ve found more educative and enlightening than this-not in a very good way though! I mean, what are people really thinking ? Anyway, I`m going to cut the chase and give the poster my humble opinion. Bay1970, it would interest you to know how somebody defined frienship. I repeat, this has to do with FRIENDSHIP, not marriage in any way. According to Aristotle, " A friend is a single soul in two bodies". Now, I will like to believe that a marriage should be an advanced form of frienship. My main advice to you is to prepare for any eventuality in what you are still calling your marrige today; you do have a union, but you don`t have a marriage. What you`ve seen on this thread is the case of majority of those that have your type of union. Whenever we are married to the wrong partner the result is what you are facing. In the grand scheme of things, e-mail address is just too minor a thing to warrant struggling over. If you find it difficult to let your wife read your mail or know your password, it simply means that, even if you are 45 years old, you are still psychologically immatured enough to enter into any marriage. So, I just want you to see her refusal as a sign of things to come. This thread has shown why divorce rates are increasing everyday; some people`s view of marriage is just too bogus. Isn`t there a difference b/w a marriage and a secret societ? It`s no marriage if it doesn`t mean a total acceptance of your partner-ugly mails in the box included.
I still want you to give her the benefit of the doubt though. Please call her and ask why her mail box should be a no-go area for her husband. What she tells you would be revealing. Good luck

what you dont know doesnt hurt.why on earth do u need the password.why dont u let sleeping dogs lie.it is none of ur bizness.no matter wat married or not she has a rite to her privacy.pls my bro dont take any offences unless u want to break ur marriage

too childish and immature.how on earth do u think u can get anything from that-reading texts,e-mails or picking phone calls.TRUST is always better to be built in any relationship.

@ Matori

Trust, my foot, look my friend, I dont trust blindly. Trust your spouse while someone else could be busy helping you to explore her body. That is bullshit.

What if you overlook all those ,believing all is well while something is really wrong somewhere?

I believe in trust in a relationship but at the same time there should be an evidence of that trust in form of transparency.




@ Almondjoy.

For god sake, what part of village are you from? you sound too backward and unenlightened. I dont know what suggested in my mail that I want to marry you. My wife worths more than 1000 of U.

Go and get a brain.I know you dont have a great relationship with your hubby and that is why you hide things a lot from him.Reconcile with your hubby. Dont try to negatively influence innocent youths on this site.They will learn how to hide things from their spouse thinking it is the ideal thing to do.


I pity you.

almond,I don laugh tire.

question : Is it okay to read your wife's email

answer :If she let's you

besides that it is not okay.
hammering on her to let you read it is not okay.
It is called intimidation.
Intimidation is not love.

Almond don't mind these unmarried folks.
They will remember these words someday and be wondering why they couldn't see what Nwando was saying.
Again no one is hiding a thang.
The main issue here is that the wife's email or letters adrdressed to her are not his.
He can only read them when she allows him to.
That is called RESPECT!!

_{Thank God I married a man who is not like some of these folks I'm reading from.}
Like mamaput said,what next?
a password to her brain?
since they're a couple,doesn't he have a right to her thinking faculty?

Should partners be allowed to read each other's emails?

Sure, if they've been granted permission to do so. However, everyone has a need for some privacy in their life. For some, it could be emails, for others, it could be a diary. It could be a blog. If your partner has some part of their life they want to keep to themselves, you should respect that.

Frankies:

@ Matori

Trust, my foot, look my friend, I don't trust blindly. Trust your spouse while someone else could be busy helping you to explore her body. That is bullshit.

What if you overlook all those ,believing all is well while something is really wrong somewhere?

I believe in trust in a relationship but at the same time there should be an evidence of that trust in form of transparency.




@ Almondjoy.

For god sake, what part of village are you from? you sound too backward and unenlightened. I don't know what suggested in my mail that I want to marry you. My wife worths more than 1000 of You.

Go and get a brain.I know you don't have a great relationship with your hubby and that is why you hide things a lot from him.Reconcile with your hubby.

Dont try to negatively influence innocent youths on this site.[/b]They will learn how to hide things from their spouse thinking it is the ideal thing to do.

[b]I pity you.

Please I am also a youth! --I am from that Auchi-Agenegbode side in Nigeria where married people respect each other ok?

Thanks for your concerns. I will try not to "negatively influence innocent youths".

nwando:

almond,I don laugh tire.

question : Is it okay to read your wife's email

answer :If she let's you

besides that it is not okay.
hammering on her to let you read it is not okay.
It is called intimidation.
Intimidation is not love.

Almond don't mind these unmarried folks.
They will remember these words someday and be wondering why they couldn't see what Nwando was saying.
Again no one is hiding a thang.
The main issue here is that the wife's email or letters adrdressed to her are not his.
He can only read them when she allows him to.
That is called RESPECT!!

_{Thank God I married a man who is not like some of these folks I'm reading from.}
Like mamaput said,what next?
a password to her brain?
since they're a couple,doesn't he have a right to her thinking faculty?

Leave them jo nwando. We are all in Nairaland abi? They will come back and tell us their findings in about 10 years.

_{Like na e-mail own dey worry me now?}

allonym:

Should partners be allowed to read each other's emails?

Sure, if they've been granted permission to do so. However, everyone has a need for some privacy in their life. For some, it could be emails, for others, it could be a diary. It could be a blog. If your partner has some part of their life they want to keep to themselves, you should respect that.

And may God continue to bless you for your words of wisdom!

Frankies:

I tried not to register my prescence in this tread but I got pissed off by some responses I am reading in here.

A wife hid her password from her man and you are talking about privacy?

What kind of privacy are you talking about in marriage that your man should not know?

If you don't tell such secret to your hubby, what for god sake, are you going to tell him again?

MARRIAGE IS ABOUT SHARING SECRETS AND RELATED MATTERS. If not why do you decide to be together and be strangers, yes strangers, that does not know anything about you. Funny enough , a stranger might even know more about you than your hubby.




@ Almondjoy

I wouldn't know why you decide to be the way you are but I am sure the best is better than anything you think of.


As for me, If there is anyway I can know my wife's password to her brain, she will willingly give it to me. I know her PINs,passwords and any other access sensitive issues both electronic and hard materials.Not by force , she believes you have to know and she unconciously does that. I admire her for that and it makes me to reciprocate by being all-time faithful to her

I can drop my three handsets for my wife to answer if she cares. She carelessly drops her two fones in the house anytime anyday and will be annoyed with me if she sees a missed call why the phone is near me.(Dont like answering her calls)

Above all, she is a very beautiful woman that any man will always dream of.

If you don;t have any skeleton in your cupboard, you will give your spouse any access he desires in your life. only few marriages that are secretive survive the test of time. Speaking from experience of a close one.

ANOTHER WORD FOR MARRIAGE IS TRANSPARENCY. IT WORKS LIKE A LUBRICANT.



I rest my case.

Powerful!

@Frankies, after reading your post, I was quickly dragged out of that dark and fetid cave almondjoy was pushing me into.

A married man who believes in and practices TRANSPARENCY in his marriage! Thank you!!!

There is nothing wrong in viewing your wife's mail. If she has noting to hide it should not be an issue.

My closest Aunt and her husband are like that. They share passwords, pick up each others calls and stuff. I even have all my aunts passwords. Even her internet bank account. I have her husband's business mail password.

When I get married I want to be able to share anything with my spouse. It's really not a big deal. If your wife has nothing to hide she will so easily give you her mail.

Frankies:

@ Matori

Trust, my foot, look my friend, I don't trust blindly. Trust your spouse while someone else could be busy helping you to explore her body. That is bullshit.

What if you overlook all those ,believing all is well while something is really wrong somewhere?

I believe in trust in a relationship but at the same time there should be an evidence of that trust in form of transparency.




@ Almondjoy.

For god sake, what part of village are you from? you sound too backward and unenlightened. I don't know what suggested in my mail that I want to marry you. My wife worths more than 1000 of You.

Go and get a brain.I know you don't have a great relationship with your hubby and that is why you hide things a lot from him.Reconcile with your hubby. Dont try to negatively influence innocent youths on this site.They will learn how to hide things from their spouse thinking it is the ideal thing to do.


I pity you.

GBAM!

Omo, this Frankies guy dey yarn correct!

That statement is so important it needs to be re-echoed:
Don't try to negatively influence innocent youths on this site.They will learn how to hide things from their spouse thinking it is the ideal thing to do.

somze:

There is nothing wrong in viewing your wife's mail. If she has noting to hide it should not be an issue.

My closest Aunt and her husband are like that. They share passwords, pick up each others calls and stuff. I even have all my aunts passwords. Even her internet bank account. I have her husband's business mail password.

When I get married I want to be able to share anything with my spouse. It's really not a big deal. If your wife has nothing to hide she will so easily give you her mail.

@somze
True talk.
As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing like privacy between me and my wife. I will not marry a woman who does not believe in complete transparency.

@Frankies, I will like to marry a woman like your wife, a woman who has NOTHING to hide. May God not abandon me in the hands of hide-and-seek women wey don dey boku for this world. Amen.

nwando:

almond,I don laugh tire.

question : Is it okay to read your wife's email

answer :If she let's you

besides that it is not okay.
hammering on her to let you read it is not okay.
It is called intimidation.
Intimidation is not love.

Almond don't mind these unmarried folks.
They will remember these words someday and be wondering why they couldn't see what Nwando was saying.
Again no one is hiding a thang.
The main issue here is that the wife's email or letters adrdressed to her are not his.
He can only read them when she allows him to.
That is called RESPECT!!

_{Thank God I married a man who is not like some of these folks I'm reading from.}
Like mamaput said,what next?
a password to her brain?
since they're a couple,doesn't he have a right to her thinking faculty?

@nwando,
But Frankies is married and shares our optimistic view of the coexistence of marriage, transparency and trust.

What if she's planning a surprise party for you? Or a special birthday present?