musKeeto:
Which house does God have? Is your heart not his dwelling place? Abi God don dey like ac room and big screen..

musKeeto: omg we made front page...
*clears throat*
Ehmm, thank you, its an honour.. First I would like to thank Mr. Seun, the moderators, my laptop, laptop desk, pen drive, Nepa for giving me the power to post, the great Thieves whom this thread is based on, Nlanders for keeping it real, my girlfriend, and before I forget, God...

Martian[b:
]I'll buy winners stock because they have the most gullible sheep and those sheep will always be bring in the revenue. When you can slap people, take their money, flaunt it in their faces and they don't protest, you're officially a Demi god and oyedepo is currently the Steve jobs of the church business. Praise baby Jesus.[/b]

If currentt stories are true, winners can even misplace babies and nothing happens. The parents are so far gone that they waited almost a year to start thinking of maybe they need to contact law enforcement. If this sorry is true, then the caliber of sheep oyedepo has will make him wealthy for the next three generations.

neksummi: I don't find this thread funny! I don't know why people are fond of making jokes with church and pastors. And the annoying part is that most of the time it is the Christians who start such jokes. We should respect the church.

ebere1712: First choice is winners chapel because any man that can slap you and still have you visit his home to apologise to him has got his 419 locked down (dependable client base). Second choice is tb joshua's church because he has mastered the art of probabilities and its applications in the proclamation of prophesies to immensely gullible minds.More sheep to pay their tithe = more money for us; investors. Third but not the least is Christ embassy because he has a well targeted mugu category (well doing mugus). Anyway, let them float their shares first; I will be both a trader and a broker, because church business is a very lucrative and underutilised industry.

Every month, each member is expected to pay 10% of his salary. For our case study, let's assume one church has a 100
members. Let's also assume each of them earns minimum wage.
18,000 * 10% = 1,800
1,800 * 100 = 180,000naira every month.
Imagine a church has at most 10 branches in a state.
180,000 * 10 =1.8million naira per month..
There are 36 states in Nigeria, Abuja is excluded..
1.8m * 36= 64.8m naira every month..
Need I say more..
REMEMBER OFFERINGS, DONATIONS, SPECIAL SERVICE OFFERINGS, ARE NOT INCLUDED IN THESE FIGURES
2) A thread was raised about the aforementioned MOG slapping a young lady...BIG DEAL.Any 1 with a strong Christian
background wouldn't have held back when the lady said"I AM A WITCH FOR JESUS".Duh!WHAT RELATIONSHIP HAS
DARKNESS WITH LIGHT? Besides if U study the bible,u'll see that those kids who laughed at the prophet because he had a
bald head were devoured and even when Jesus entered the temple and saw people busing and selling he overturned the
tables and chased them out(Only God knows how many people broke their legs and hands or had injuries in the process). In
essence all he(Oyedepo) did was defend his Father's honour which I believe any1 of here would do if sme1 dared insult our
earthly fathers...

neksummi: I don't find this thread funny! I don't know why people are fond of making jokes with church and pastors. And the annoying part is that most of the time it is the Christians who start such jokes. We should respect the church.

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neksummi: I don't find this thread funny! I don't know why people are fond of making jokes with church and pastors. And the annoying part is that most of the time it is the Christians who start such jokes. We should respect the church.

ZUBY77: I will definitely buy into SCOAN (TB Joshua). Come and see how people here in Enugu tell me to lower my voice whenever i critisize the Church. They usually think that if i talk loud about the Church, the TB Joshua guy will miraculously hear me from Lagos.

kutchs: Signs of the end time, no respect for the church any more. Why dont we leave the church out of our jokes pls?

ifihearam: @poster
You are the biggest fool on nairaland to bring the house of God into ridicle
And to those of you that have commented negatively,you are all useless and mentally derailed.

You talk about things of God as if you are equals with HIM. Can you talk negatively bout mosques and their imams?? Wtf is wrong with some of you here sef and to make it worst it made the homepage.

Moderators be very careful

kutchs: Signs of the end time, no respect for the church any more. Why dont we leave the church out of our jokes pls?

ifihearam: @poster
You are the biggest fool on nairaland to bring the house of God into ridicle
And to those of you that have commented negatively,you are all useless and mentally derailed.

You talk about things of God as if you are equals with HIM. Can you talk negatively bout mosques and their imams?? Wtf is wrong with some of you here sef and to make it worst it made the homepage.

Moderators be very careful