kaynik: Thanks a lot, your comments have really helped. He has apologised severally and seems sincere. Like bobonkiti101 and emooo have said, prayer is the best thing to do in this situation.

slimyem: ...this sure seems like you haven't learnt your lesson yet..
Smh!
Na you sabi jor!

Kevin_II:

why u dey para? She say she wan wed, which one come be your own?
OP, go on jor, nothing dey happen. You fit send me the wedding IV. I shall be there IJN!

kaynik: Thanks a lot, your comments have really helped. He has apologised severally and seems sincere. Like bobonkiti101 and emooo have said, prayer is the best thing to do in this situation.

Kevin_II: ^^^ e be like say shiit dey worry you after eating six wraps of fufu. oya go shiit u go feel better

slimyem: you dey craze ni?
Next time,open your eye wella before you go dey jump anyhow!
duh!

kaynik: Thanks everyone. @mynd 44, your advice is one I always tell ladies. I don't believe in sticking around a guy who is abusive physically and emotionally. The emotional abuse occurred last year and it is the reason I didn't get married then. I saw he was sober and had seemingly changed. Now its another problem I cant deal with, cheating.

kaynik: I hate to generalize but I find myself stereotyping cos of the hurt I have been through. I have known this guy for almost 10 years. We started a serious relationship beginning of 2008 and he left the country at the end of that very year. We found our selves in a long distance relationship, something I hated and had told him before he traveled. In 2010 we got engaged and later that year we did our introduction. The distance continued and I also had to leave the country. Now that he was my fiance, things were worse between us.Last year, he insulted and abused me emotionally. He kept accusing me of cheating. One day he wanted to show that he cared and was not really abusing me, so he sent a chat between him and his friend. Unfortunately for him, he copied and pasted the wrong part of the chat as the cat he sent revealed that he was cheating on me with women. He begged and begged and i didnt listen. Not because he cheated but because he was cheating and was also abusive. Please anyone reading his should take note, any man or woman who keeps accusing you of cheating without any proof is actually cheating. Its what they call projecting in psychiatry.
Well, 2012 came and I stupidly forgave him. he promised never to insult me again and he was true to his promise. He also added that he had broken off with the girl. Just yesterday a lady got in touch with and revealed that this my fiance has been dating her since 2008. I always sensed it but this guy kept lying for four straight years. He is manipulative and smooth. Besides the cheating, he has put me through hell.
Now the problem is I can never forgive him but we are planning our wedding. We are supposed to go for counselling next week. I know I have to cancel the marriage counselling but what next. I loved him at some point and I wasted my life with him as i am not young. I have heard stories like this before but I never knew this evil man can be like that. He has also wasted the time of the girl he was cheating on me with as she isnt young too.
How can he get punished, how do I announce to the family what this man has done. am confused and disappointed. please help.

cowgurl: I hope you ignored that deranged infant chauvinist up there. You forgave his sorry arse once or so and what happened? Did he change? He's insultive+emotional abusive+a cheat+a liar=HE'S HELL. My dear, take a walk cos trully it's not about him but about YOU. Ladies really need to start waking up from their slumbers!

Onegai: I'll give you the advice I wished I gave my sister and my best friend.
"People don't change unless they want to. So accept what you see now as the truth and if a man shows you himself, believe him"
My sis dated her hubby 7 years and has been married 13 yrs, my bestie dated her hubby 1 year and has been married 2yrs. Both cases like yours.
Both men are still cheating and dealing with their wives and sleeping well at night whilst their wives cry. How your fiance treats you is NOT because of you, it's because of his own issues and until he works on himself, not cry and beg, he WILL NOT change. I promise you that's the truth. So be praying to God to give you strength and wisdom to do the right thing. Remember, this is a man who dated another girl for 4 yrs while proposing to you, you think men and women can keep the same person as backup for so long without feelings, you think it was just sex that kept him there?! because my bestie's hubby did the same, and after marriage, he went back to that chick and that one bounced him, and he missed her, so he went onto to several more chicks. And he gave my bestie an STD (and she was a virgin when dem marry,but fear say she dey get old, so...). Be afraid for yourself and be wise.