if you are born nigerian

You are a beautiful and ambitious lady "with a future" but yet you keep meeting gentlemen who go by this slogan towards you "babe, I'd really love to be with somebody like you but not you" That's when you know God is punishing you...

When your wife steals, tell lies and flirt with her boss who is your colleague.

desertboom: when u gave ur girlfriend ur only 100 naira, claiming to be a big boy only for her to caught u drinking garri the next hour.

so rich men dont drinking garri or wat, or wen has drinking garri be tagged as being poor..msheeeeeeeew!SMH at claiming big boy after given out 100naira.

anyway, you know God is punishing you when a car splashes muddy water on ur white shirt few meters to your interview venue.

When the conductor refuses to accept the ugly last 200N note u have and u are trying to pay the fare of this fine chick along with yours. #youknowGodispunishingyou

when you wake up to find out, ur school name has been changed to MAULAG

;DWhen u misplace ur wedding ring and ants eat ur cake on ur wedding day....ff @evilmaximus

You guys re crazy.
lolz

When you are a lady and on a dating site your status says:

Alexxy, 29 Lagos, Nigeria Wants to go on a date with a guy, 34-65

and About me
AM A KIND OF PERSON THAT TELL PEOPLE WAT I WANT NO PLENTY TALK. PLEASE NOTE AM NOT LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIP AND IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ONE, NOT ME TRY SOMEONE ELSE THANK YOU.

then Looking for
AM LOOKING FOR ANGELS AND NOT DEMONS. A GUY TO HANGOUT WITH, NO STRINGS ATTACHED, NO MORE NO LESS, AND NO PLENTY QUESTIONS. GO STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.

So funny

AM A KIND OF PERSON THAT TELL PEOPLE WAT I WANT NO PLENTY TALK. PLEASE NOTE AM NOT LOOKING FOR RELATIONSHIP

if I had a euro for every time i heard that (and the person actually meant the opposite), I'd own a yatch by now.

@ mukina

na you God go punish o!

When your fiancée get gang-raped two days to your wedding

okeyxyz: when you are captured by boko-haram and you are claiming to be a moslem, suddenly your phone rings & the ring tone is "All power belongs to jesus,..."

Greatest punishment of all.lmao

beblessed: God does nt punish plz

And the. WRATH OF GOD means?

When your wife can't get pregnant for you after some years of marriage and you are an only son of your parents.

[quote author=sammyke]when you wake up to find out, ur school name has been changed to MAULAG[/quote
dt one na beef

When you jump into an okada to your bank with the intention of paying him wen u withdraw from the ATM only for you to get there and the ATM keeps showing "Your financial institution is unavailable". And the trip worths N200

30secs: And so?

bros cool down nah. atleast tel am welcom

when ‎​u are downloading a file of 200MB and it gets to 99%,but the next thing ‎​u see is downloading fail...

when your CGPA is 4.49 after your final year and all the lecturers in your department are sadists.

beblessed: God does nt punish plz

more like "when you know your village ppl are after you"

WAN U FALL 2 WIN TITLE











#M U

terbz: WAN U FALL 2 WIN TITLE











#M U

Bros, nice idea but u no talk am well.

Check this out:

You know God is punishing you when Aguero scores in the last minutes of the EPL season to steal the title from u

beblessed: God does nt punish plz

Being a misery gut that you actually are, the topic of this thread rings a bell then you try to cheer yourself with a comment, "God does nt punish plz" ... A Defense mechanism?? Well that is how you really know God is punishing your gut

When ur car gets stolen a day after ur insurance expires...

shenaz: Hello everyone. Am a new member.

guy this no be illuminati. All the same i baptize you in the name of the father, of the son and of holyspirit. Be filled wit the spirit and begin to speak in tongues of nairaland.

shenaz: Hello everyone. Am a new member.

u can continue being a new member pls. There is no problem with that.

ceejayluv: When ur car gets stolen a day after ur insurance expires...

Hahaha.. E don b 4 u b dat oo.. No Theft claim 4 u. As der say it "No premium No Claim"

30secs: And so?

U don't have to be rude.

When u are a die-hard chelsea fan and ur son a die-hard Man-u and both of u watching chelsea vs Man-u match from the same T.V

clemmonce: bros cool down nah. atleast tel am welcom

Tnx oh