emmy99: sexkillz dis ur own experience na indian film? Com finish ur story na

ayobase: During my universities days, I was inside my apartment chilling with my gen running outside.
All of a sudden, my gen stopped working....so unusual!
I decided to go check it out, but to my surprise, I saw two guys carrying my gen away...WTF.
''Hey guys, thats my gen...whats happening?''
''Come and collect it now....u dey craze abi''
Oh boy, I was just looking like zombie till they disappeared into the dark o!

swiftycool: This one happened also in one of the states in the south south where I worked 4 a bit.
In those days when gsm was still fresh in Naija and so many thieves were stealing phones, a certain youngman - let's call him joe's phone was stolen and he tried to call the number to see if a good samaritan could have found it for him.

Strangely the phone was answered but by a stupid sounding guy with a thick local accent in broken english. Joe pleaded with him to return the phone 4 a reward and after a long discussion, the guy asked joe to come meet him at the town park which was about 30km from where he was.

On getting there after spending money on Tp and making the long uncomfortable journey, Joe called the number and the guy picked up but this time started laughing and said; Ol boi, u mumu well well sha, so u believe say I go gif u dis fone? I no dey park o, I just wan stress u! Joe was mad but calmed down and pleaded with him to even take the phone but leave the Sim so he could retrieve important contact's numbers and other vital infos. After several calls pleading and begging, the guy asked him to go to another distant location the next morning and ask a lady selling akara for the sim.

Early the next day Joe set out to d location and actually saw an akara seller whom he asked but she claimed she knew nothing of the sort. Joe then tried the number and it rang, this time the theif told him to sit down near the akara seller's location till he came. This he did for the next 4 hrs, making calls over and again until when the theif started laughing at him over the phone calling him mumu and telling him to better buy akara for dinner because he might likely sleep there. At that point Joe just realised this guy was not planning to release the phone and just went home sad.

fluxbush: Mine happened way back wen i was in my second year in the university.One early sunday morning,I was ill and planned to skip church for dat day.My two sisters were getting ready for the church service.Suddenly,the outer door to my lodge was opened and a guy stepped in and asked my sister who was standing in d corridor,if all her sisters were at home.She assumed he was one of anybody's frnd and said yes.He walked ryt in with anoda guy and stepped into our room.He shoved my sister into d room,and pointed a small pistol at her.The other guy brought out a long scary looking rifle from his baggy jeans.We were still staring at dem,lyk idiots.The first guy,who seemed to be deir leader,told us to lie dwn and stop starin at dem.The second guy was busy searching the entire room and our bathroom.Wen he came to d place my eldest sis usually hides money,she surprisingly jumped up and blocked his path.He took the mirro and almost smashed her head in but d leader stopped him.Already,he had taken our fones and was quietly and politely 'begging' us to bring d money out.We kept denyin dat we had money and it pissed off d oda guy.Anoda guy walked in and started loosening his trousers for a gang rape.He called out to d odas outsyd to cum in.Their leader told dem to hold on.He walked to my eldest sis and asked her which sec skul she attended.She replied FGC Ikot ekpene.He told her dat he knew her and dat was wen she recognised him,as her immediate senior bk den.He turned to me and asked y I was writhing.I said I was ill.Can u imagine he took out his wallet and dropped sum money for my drugs?He den told all his guys to leave and locked us insyd.Though he took d fones,we were hapi we werent gang raped cuz evryone in d lodge had travelled for the wkend.I will never forget dat day.

kene_slow:

The same way wey Seun dey post programming challenge, my own today na Jazz challenge .

Our 'company' is looking to test this African "bullet proof" jazz. We visit Nigeria
about three times a year. The rules are simple: you wear your bullet proof jazz and
we get to pepper you with shots from handguns and rifles of our choice; no explosives.

After 5 minutes we will cease all fire and if you are still alive you get a grand
sum of N25 million and also a life-time contract working with our 'company' to fully
develop "jazz bullet proof". You will be payed N50 million per year.

HOMMIE, DIS THINGS WORK, WE DAT SCHOOLED IN D ENUGU DOSE DAYS WHEN MEN GETS SHOT EVERYDAY GO TELL U BETTER, ITS JUST THAT IF U TAKE EXCESSIVE SHOTS, U GO JUST DIE OF INTERNAL BLEEDING, ITS JUST LIKE WEN SOMEONES HITS U WITH A HAMMER ON UR CHEST, IT DOSENT CREATE A BULLET HOLE, IT JUST CAUSES SOME INTERNAL DAMAGE, DATS HW IT WORKS
You must sign our release form; one of the clauses is if you die from this experiment,
we the 'company' bear zero liability.

Oya I dey wait, and make una no tell me say na your friend papa grandfather sabi do am or
u no fit reveal the secret. Carry come

Biyi1471:
You are funny. Me think the way Mimi addressed their boss touched his heart. His guilty conscience played in. How would he feel if his own child could address him as 'Daddy armed robber'?

Timileyin: [size=18pt]haaa Sango Ota is a died zone [/size] they tried to collect my car twice, its very rampant. They snatch cars every day

Pakavy: just curious,is it d real sango ota i hav had of or just a nickname 4 a bad spot?

swiftycool: I remember way back when I was just starting uni, I went to stay with a friend of mine in PH. We were about 6 in the house, two parents, my friend and I plus two todlers, a little boy of 2 and a girl of 4.

The robbers hit the door threatning to burst it open if we didn't and so my friends dad went to open d door for four rugged looking armed robbers who immediately shouted on us to all come out of the room, get on the floor and lie down facedown if we didn't want to die.

We did as instructed, all of us including d tiny kids. But soon d kids started fighting over the space to lie down saying that's my space I got there b4 u. One robber who seemed like the boss was left to guard us while one was outside and two ransacking the house.
Our guard just shouted on d kids LIE FACE DOWN and CLOSE ur EYES!!!

Few minuites later I just heard Mimi d little girl whispering; junior close ur eyes o, or ill report u. B4 u knew she just got up and went to tug the guard robber's trousers and said: " UNCLE ARMED RoBBER, junior is not closing his eyes!"

All of a sudden the robbers who heard her, two inside and d one outside bursted out laughing seriously, while the guard who was apparently shocked kept silent and shook his head gently. Before we knew it he just walked out of the house and in a teary voice commanded the rest to leave everything in the house and go. They actually left without stealing a pin because of how Mimi addresed their boss. I wonder why!

swiftycool:
Few days later after narating the experience to his friends, they hacked a plan to set up the thief. One of the guy's called the theif and pretending to think he was talking to Joe told him he had sent 50k for the house rent and other things through a driver from abuja going to Usa park in d town.he was told to call d driver on a specific number so he could be identified becos the driver had also been given his own number.

The theif took the bait and planned to go collect the money supposedly meant for Joe by impersonating him through his possesion of the phone. He arrived with a friend to the park at the stated time not knowing that joe and his friends were there waiting 4 him pretending to be passangers. As he made the call, Joe's friend's phone rang and he went to meet him pretending to be the driver. He got close to the theif and held him while the other guys rushed to meet them.

The thief's friend noticed the happenings and ran away abandoning his okada, while the caught thief was given the beating of his life that day. I as a passer by came accross this scene and pleaded with the guys I saw beating a defenseless guy to stop but when they narrated the whole story involved I was so pissed and didn't know when I joined them beating the guy and so did many other passers by.
The guy was beaten so much, stripped naked and then allowed to go. The okada was handed over to the police with a report that it belonged to a thief. Am sure that guy would think twice before stealing again. Lol!

Vikin:

I have heard this as a popular joke(Uche ogbuaju or something) in esatern part of Nigeria, you just narrated it as if it happened to you? I wonder what people will gain from telling lies .

I just give up

Vikin:

I have heard this as a popular joke(Uche ogbuaju or something) in esatern part of Nigeria, you just narrated it as if it happened to you? I wonder what people will gain from telling lies . Yea. I decided to kept quite coz people were liking his story. I have the joke in my phone.

I just give up

LesbianBoy:
Thank u very much, I tot I was the only one that noticed it! Swiftcool na wa for you jor! Copy copy is a CRIME!

Biyi1471: Woke up in the morning, yawned lazily, then I stretched myself. Location was Adeniji-Adele Dolphin Estate on the Island. Time was 4:55am on that fateful Saturday in March 2007. Did thirty press ups of warm up exercise. A friend had called the previous night to remind me of the event of the day. His wedding was on that Saturday. Plan was to use my Benz C200 car for the groom. So, car had to be in Ijebu-Ode first thing in the morning. Hmm, car was shining and lovely for such occasion. I assured my friend not to bother as I would try and arrive ijebu-Ode before the first crow of the rooster.

Logged on to Nairaland on my Laptop for the latest happenings, trust Nairaland, you never get bored. Did about 10 mins of Nairalanding. Logged off. Quikly took my bathe, dressed up and was set for the journey. Told my folks of my outings. Then intuition set in… Man, do not travel, call your friend and let him make other arrangement! Did I truly hear this? Twas like someone whispered from nowhere. But, I had given my words to my guy, so I gat to be there and support him as a friend.

That day was the day the outbound part of the 3rd mainland bridge was to be closed for repairs. Now, time was about 5:35am. All set, ready to roll and rock to Ijebu-Ode, a journey of about an hour. Drove through Sura market, took the Simpson bridge to descend down and then join the 3rd mainland bridge. ‘To ba femo dollar’ from Fatai Rolling Dollar was blasting from the 10 CD changer sound system. As usual, I was about to set the car on 160km/h. Then, just a bit ahead, before getting to the bridge at Adeniji-Adeniji bus stop, I noticed a parked saloon car with the hazard pointers on, but no parking light or any driving light. Tapped on my full light, noticed about 3 people sitting at the back seat of the car. I pondered why would a car parked on the fast lane of the express with people sitting inside the car. Haven’t they heard of safety! Still pondering, positioned my ride on the middle lane of the bridge about to pass the parked car and at same time to overtake an early morning Molue bus probably going to Oshodi .

Then I saw it! A flying alloy tire rim. WTF!! Just the rim.. (lol.. been hearing about flying rims on the expressways, just couldn’t believe I was actually experiencing it). It landed right in front of my car. Gbanmm. It didn’t even bounce. I tried to swerve my car to my right but the molue wouldn’t permit as it was so close me. Had no choice but to step hard on the brake. OMG, twas too late then gbumm, stepped on the rim, my front bumper shattered, front left tire busted, engine oil sump literally broke into two. Then I heard it.. a gun shot and a loud hoarse voice.. parrrrkk, stoppp. All these while, I was trying to control the car speed and it dawned on me at that moment…armed robbers! Then I said to myself ‘God, okay you won, I should have listened to my intuition.. but please, get me out of this danger’

The car couldn’t move faster as the rim was hooked somewhere underneath my car, dragged about 300 meters away from danger zone, quickly stopped the car and put auto gear into reverse to let the rim out. Sure, it did and completely damaged my bumper. There it was my escape route. In my panic state I looked to my right, saw the exit bridge that would link me back to Adeniji-Adele. I checked my side mirrors to see if I was being pursued. All was safe now, then my car was hard to control and somehow I managed it home in that state. Now was about 5:55am. My folks couldn’t believe what happened until they saw my car.

I thank God for my life. And sure, I eventually called my guy to tell him I couldn’t make the wedding because of what happened. Hmm… he said it's okay and he would make an alternative arrangement. Since then, I have learnt to listen to my intuitions.

FMary: We had finished our semester examinations and almost all the students had travelled. [b]My friends and I were so broke n we decided to lure a byke man to our hostel area which was usually lonely at night n rob him. We were 3 in number so one person went to town n boarded a byke back to de hostel n we actually robbed him with table n pen knife. [/b]Unfortunately our loot was very little n since one of us needed to travel urgently we gave him de money. The next day he came back to de hostel having stolen a lot of money from his father so we went to town to drink in a 5 star hotel. It was late when we came back one of us bringing back a prostitute. As we were about to enter out hostel some robbers decended on us n went in with us n stole almost all de money our friend stole from his father. They raped de prostitute also so de bad side of it was that in the morning the prostitute invited the police telling them it was us. The police came n arrested the guy who stole from his father n another guy... I was lucky dey did not see me. It happened de guy's father had to come n bail him from the police station n eventually withrew him from out school..... True life story

fellis: But why is it only victims that are sharing their experiences? The armed robbers that are on NL should also share their robbing experiences na.