Recently I met two ladies online on a social network site. One is 23 years old and the other is 31 years old. Both came seeking for advice in a chat room, their problem is that their boyfriends beat them up.

They later got into my friends list and had more chat with them to know more details. Both of them admitted already having sex with their boyfriends. I always knew sex can be a huge factor in this. I can hardly name any girl who is being beaten up by her boyfriend while still abstaining from sex. It was the sex that gave him a sense of ownership of the girl which made him to act the way he did though this is never a justification for beating up a lady.

Their question were similar, "If your man is beating you does he still loves you?" I find the question very stupid especially coming from a 23 year old and 31 year old.

I advised them to leave the relationship but one common statement came out from their mouths "But I still love him" and I'm like what the hell is wrong with you? someone is beating you up and you are here talking about love.

The 23 year old seemed reluctant to accept my advice judging from her status like "Men are very wicked" and stuffs like that,she ended the chat with me like someone who doesn't need any advice any more. I noticed later she removed me from her friends list.

The 31 year old was very receptive to my advice. Her own case was that her boyfriend beats her up if she refuses to have sex with him. And I'm like are you a sex object? She later thanked me for the advice, I hope she doesn't go back to the relationship again.

I dont see any reason why I shld continue wt a relatnshp of dat kind. I would feel withdrawn if my boyfrnd shouts at me in d name of correction or insults me weda publicly or priv8ly, not 2 talk more or less of beating me up. I'm not used to such, so why shld I begin nw? D background of any lady dat continues wit such relatnshp shld be checked, esp d father figure in her life. A lady who grows up receivin all d love and care 4rm a dotin father woul neva succumb 2 dat (unless d guy pretended all along until he made her his bride). Most of d ladies stil involved in such relationshps continue because dey fil d beating and insults are evidence of how much d guy loves dem. What love? They rily nid 2 work on their self-esteem, telling demselvs alwz dat 'Im 2 beautiful, 2 nice, 2 special to let anyone or any man be nasty 2me'. E.T.C

Okay you advised them so?

Mynd_44: Okay you advised them so?

Is that the only thing you can come up with?

@190; like seriously? A friend's abusive ex-boyfriend do refer 2 dat as 'correction' not beating. Whichever name, my dear not all ladies would subject themslvs 2 such inhumane treatment. I for 1 cnt even think of anytin I would do 2 provoke my bf/husband to dat extent. Esp if he's in d military, dat 1 na die naw....

A frnd jst confided in me ystaday, she currently goin tru same.
I slept late because i hv to chat some sense into her.
D most annoyin part is her regular pharse 'Sij, 'I Luv dis guy'.

If beating ur wife/gf is a sign of love.no woman on earth wil be in marriage.FYI a man that beats his wife is an inch near his grave

If her boyfriend is a robot for bedmatics na that time e go dey hard the girl to quit. Girls like sb that can satisfy them very well even if that person dey beat them always.

Tell the lady to check out the movie 'Enough' by jenifer lopez.

DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CALL BEATING YOU SEE A LADY MESSED HER BOY FRIEND HE DIDNT HIT RATHER WAITED ON VALENTINES DAY GAVE HER THE F#$K OF HER LIFE SHE SCREAMED AND SCREAMED BUT THE GUY PUMPED LIKE A HORSE WITH HIS DONKEY D$%k MADE HER CRY

Any way , it a bad decision to beat once girl freind . I will simply live the relationship if am a woman that her boy beat even at the first time cause the will get the beating of there life if that man get marry to them

'Cause they daydream of being the one to "reform" the bloke, and gain his love and devotion for all eternity.

Because they are senceless

KMOS: DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU CALL BEATING YOU SEE A LADY MESSED HER BOY FRIEND HE DIDNT HIT RATHER WAITED ON VALENTINES DAY GAVE HER THE F#$K OF HER LIFE SHE SCREAMED AND SCREAMED BUT THE GUY PUMPED LIKE A HORSE WITH HIS DONKEY D$%k MADE HER CRY

KolO!

Maybe they're masochists. Or it could be stockholm syndrome.

I find it hard to believe that some men are outright sadists and bullies but this is true.

May be the guy get mouth both in finnace & in toch lighting web site

But the truth about guys who hit their partners is that when they're angry they really let go, but in their tender moments, they're more romantic than guys that don't. True story.

SimonAndal: But the truth about guys who hit their partners is that when they're angry they really let go, but in their tender moments, they're more romantic than guys that don't. True story.

.

I hope You are nt one of them bro

What adds to the mystery is that most of the women are themselves mystified by their own choice. When pressed, however, many respond by saying “Because I love him”; emotional attachment to the abuser is one of the primary reasons battered women give for why they choose to stay. From an evolutionary psychological perspective, love and other emotions are proximate mechanisms that compel organisms to engage in behavior that, in the context of the ancestral environment, would have increased their inclusive fitness. The fact that women themselves are mystified by their own choice when they follow their emotions and stay with their violent partners seems to suggest the possible operation of evolutionary logic to which the women do not have complete conscious access. But what possible reproductive benefits can staying with violent mates have, when such women are often severely injured, sometimes killed?

I am emphatically not suggesting that women have a preference to mate with violent abusers instead of gentle, kind, and resourceful millionaires. Given the choice, any sane woman would prefer the latter to the former. However, the process of mating is far from random or unrestricted; no woman (or man) has an entire range of potential mates to choose from. Due to the highly socially structured and constrained nature of meeting people, which results in assortative (nonrandom) mating, the choice that some women unfortunately face is often between [bold] unemployed, uneducated, unintelligent, unmotivated, alcoholic men who are violent, and unemployed, uneducated, unintelligent, unmotivated, [/bold] alcoholic men who are not. My suggestion is merely that, under some circumstances, women may have been selected to prefer the former to the latter. Some (present-day) losers may be better than others, especially in the context of the ancestral environment. There is even some evidence from field experiments from four American cities that employed men are more likely to batter their wives than unemployed men.

crackhouse: If her boyfriend is a robot for bedmatics na that time e go dey hard the girl to quit. Girls like sb that can satisfy them very well even if that person dey beat them always.

i very much agree with your point of view

Well, if it's a marriage relationship, it could be that these women don't wanna go through the "stigma" of a broken marriage..

on the other hand, aggression or domination is a big se+ual turn-on for a lot of women. Se+ually, they prefer the "bad boy!"

OMG, are these stories for real!! Are Abusive relationships these common? Smh. These ones will sure drop dead in the first year of marriage if they end up with these beasts they call bfs.

I see NO single reason why one should stay in an abusive marriage not to talk of an abusive relationship. Why on earth would one just condemn herself to a beater.

Even as a kid, my father dint lay his hands on me, now that I'm an adult, one reetarded coward would think of doing that.

I need to start selling self-esteem pills to some chics. Damn!

Sijo01: A frnd jst confided in me ystaday, she currently goin tru same.
I slept late because i hv to chat some sense into her.
D most annoyin part is her regular pharse 'Sij, 'I Luv dis guy'.

Sijo01: A frnd jst confided in me ystaday, she currently goin tru same.
I slept late because i hv to chat some sense into her.
D most annoyin part is her regular pharse 'Sij, 'I Luv dis guy'.

women love guys who can make the cry whether for the wrong reasons or the right reasons, they just can forget those moments that a guy made the cry and come back to pet them!

IO don't know.

the same reason why one of the greatest men in history: sigmund freud wasted 35 years of his life trying to find out what a woman wants? And ended up dying without knowing the answer even as a great saicologist

Beatin gals are the glue of stayin 2geda believe me,wen u are beatin u GF she no fit leave u,but TRYAM

This is a thread I'd follow as the thread topic has always bugged me
It's just like why do guys who lie get the babes while those who spit truth and reason get treated like poo
I then came to realize ladies hear with their emotions & would go against all good counsel even in the face of obvious danger& flashing red flags
I believe that's the reason but like I said, I'm here to learn from others too
So let the QWERTY keyboards keep typing for us all to learn

190: beating is a form of showing extra love 2 a woman

men would never lay a hand on any woman they love


women are MEANT to be BEATEN!!

(well i havent beaten any doe just my 2cents)

13-lettered word . . . contradiction