Is my reaction justified? - Romance - Nairaland
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Will My Reaction Cause Her More Pain? / What Will Be Your Reaction If Your Wife-to-be Does This... / When Your Wife Pushes You Too Far,a Slap Or 2 Could Be Justified (2) (3) (4)
| Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 10:28am On Jun 30, 2012 |
Its lyk dis.... We are or were three good frnds, myself, a male frnd and a female frnd. Me and this other male frnd have been frnds since 2002, den this gal's family relocated into our hood in 2007, we began noticing her because i must confess she's a very beautiful gal, so we approached her differently and told ourselves abt it and we agreed not 2 date her buh just become frnd with her.... With tym three of us became very good frnds and folks in our hood observed bcus we alwayz walked 2geda and hangout 2geda, infact some oda of our guyz in the hood started to ask which of us actually was dating her because dy culdnt undastand the closeness... I gained admission to skuul, afta i returned from my 1st year 1st sem break, i observed dat my two frnds became more close dan b4, waz actually happy abt it @ first because i related with her more dan my oda guy, cos we three live in streets parallel to themselves with myn being more closer, so we saw more regularly, afta close observation i noticed frm their body language dat dey must have began sleeping with each oda, i asked my guy he admitted it, he said while i was in skuul dy bcame closer and she visited him @ home frequently and a bond wich developed into sex started, my guy said he neva wanted it buh she waz the one who made the first move and he gave in.... My problem naw is av developed some kind of hatred towardz dis gal because on several occasion b4 i left for skuul she tells me how she loves and respects me nd the oda guy as male frnds who knw and respect our limits with her(aside normal hugs and pecks)... Now i dont pick her calls, dont reply her text, even i came home for brk recently and didn't even inform her i waz around... I've developed crious disdain towards her naw 4 doin wat she had earlier chastised..... Folks is my attitude justified or am i over reacting? |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by ITbomb(m): 10:49am On Jun 30, 2012 |
You be capital MUMU, sorry for that but i'll tell u y when i'm on my lappy. Time wey u see punny u no chop, now u dey cry say another broda don do the job that was given to u n u failed woefully. You think all this small girls understand anything about love and commitment when their body dey hot and they need money for recharge , hair do, cloths and pad. 1 Like |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by greedie1(f): 11:35am On Jun 30, 2012 |
Its not disdain u feel, its betrayed.... U nd ur friend agreed to suppress ur emotions nd be friends wit ha only cz u both wanted ha but didnt want anytin to come between d both of u! Now ur friend went behind ur back to nyash ha... Be angry 4 a whyl bt dont overreact. Free ur mind, talk to ur friend (d guy) he is d one u ve scores to settle wit but dont let it affect ur friendship k |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Mynd44: 12:00pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
The guy betrayed you btw going against a promise you guys made but have you wondered why you don't feel that way towards him? The girl was not part of any agreement initially so why this? The truth bro is that you at some point was attracted to said girl and you feel because you suppressed your emotions he should have but some part of you still regrets not hitting her hence you feel hatred towards her. It's so cute but you will get over it when they break-up cos as long as they are dating, you can't be close to her. Don't try to force it, it is natural |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 12:08pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Let's look at this stuff from another angle. . . You never showed intent to date her before you left, did you? You weren't in a relationship with her before you left, were you? When you suspected your friend and confronted him, he confessed, did he not? Good. The girl owes you nothing. Your friend owes you nothing also. What you feel is not betrayal, what you feel is jealousy. . . Repeat after me. . . JEALOUSY! You like her, your friend likes her too. So secretly, there was a cold war between you two as to who would clinch her first, but you niggas did not make that known to each other. You left for school, your friend saw the opportunity and struck. . . Maximizing your absence to 101%. So in actuality, you are angry with your friend, and jealous of him because he got her first. And you just can't stop imagining that pretty girl under your friend moaning her life away. . . You just can't stop imagining how he must have kissed and fondled her and you just can't help but think IT WOULD HAVE BEEN YOU. . . You are angry at the girl, for giving it up to him although she was liking you more back then before you left.  Am i talking too much? You know i ain't lying. You think you were betrayed, but fcck NO! You can't be betrayed over what was not yours in the first place. You are plain jealous. . . Its understandable. You are not over reacting. It's normal to feel this way. What I'll suggest is for you to keep your distance, then think like an adult. Realize that this is just part of life, and you'll meet more of this kind of situation in future. Make up your mind, forgive them for doing it without your knowledge, then move on. Act with maturity. You won't think of this shiit forever, so start learning how to let go. . . Oh, and sleeping with that same girl, under the guise of "collecting your share" makes the 3 of you pathetic dirty pigs. . . Sleeping with her won't erase the fact that he got her first, nor will you be able to forget that she gave him first! So i suggest you lift your head high and rise above this situation. . . 2 Likes |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Mynd44: 12:13pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Well the jealousy caused the betrayal. In the circles I travel in, an agreement is an agreement even at the point of death, you are expected to remain true to it. Guy don't honor agreement anymore Killz he had the chance to go after her cos she liked him more and he was closer but he had a very rare thing HONOR which I value more and I respect him for that 2 Likes |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 12:20pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Are you telling me he wouldn't have done likewise, if he was in his friends shoes? For the fact that the girl was closer to him is enough prerequisite for him to do the same exact thing. . . If not worse! He's jealous! Pls lets stop the bullshitting. . . Keep it real! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Mynd44: 12:32pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
He had the chance to do the same thing and he chose not to. They were closer he could have just reached out and gotten her but he choose to have the high moral grounds based on an agreement he had with his friend |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 12:43pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Mynd_44: He had the chance to do the same thing and he chose not to. They were closer he could have just reached out and gotten her but he choose to have the high moral grounds based on an agreement he had with his friendIf it was his friend that went to school, would he not have slept with that girl? Hey. . . She likes him more + according to his friend, SHE initiated it. . . Now, tell me what would happen when a girl that likes your more, initiates sex. Pls cut the crap about honor. . . You and i know that in such situations, honor flies out the window. Keep it real! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Mynd44: 12:59pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
sexkillz: If it was his friend that went to school, would he not have slept with that girl?in those situations will you throw honor out the window? That is when you know the true character of a man you keep it real |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 1:07pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Mynd_44:but he did not face the SAME circumstances as his friend. So why is he angry? Lol why is he feeling betrayed? Why is he jealous? Lol. Cos he missed out. If it was him, he would have done the same under the very same circumstances. . . That's my line of argument. . |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Beync(f): 1:07pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Ur friend is an opportunist. at least he should have informed you of his intension before hand,if not for anything becos u both had an agreement. just move on with ur life and worry less abt them so u can face ur studies. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 7:08pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Sori peepz waz buzy.... @sexkillz, u're nt wrong i actually had this thing for the girl, i'm nt denying the fact, surely my guy had same feeling towards her, buh we agreed not to date her cause it could lead to a dispute between us.... By my person, i try to be rational even in direst of circumstances, its not lyk any of them really owe me an apology buh..... I just don't knw.... As 4 the guy, i've no qualms wiv him @all, @least he even said she started the whole thing, he's my closest frnd here oo... Infact i even hailed him as a sharp boy 4not dulling, buh dont just know y i cant help feeling anger towardz dis girl.... Am actually nt bothered by the whole shit oo!... Av gat a girl frnd who am criously into.... Infact in my dept, i can beat my chest and say i'm of the few guys girls rush.... Buh anytym my mynd hits this issue i just begin to feel bad, perhaps because of how much i trusted wen she waz blabbing about how she respects us for knowing our limits wiv her. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 7:22pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
Mynd_44: Well the jealousy caused the betrayal. In the circles I travel in, an agreement is an agreement even at the point of death, you are expected to remain true to it.Truth be told if i had wanted 2 renege on the agreement wiv ma homeboi, i wuld have slept wiv her countless tyms b4 ma admission, because she visits me @home very well sometyms we both wuld be home alone, we'ld stay 4lyk 2hrs b4 i even call my homeboi 2com ova 2ma place... dose tyms its nt lyk i do not have the urge to want 2 be intimate wiv her... Buh i tried very hard 2 control myself, if nt 4 anytyn @least wot ma frnd wuld think if he gets 2 knw.... Buh its done sha.... Wat i'm asking naw is hope my behaviour towards her is nt overboard? |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 8:00pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
gree-die:Tankz 4ur contribution.... Lyk seriously as earlier stated i'm cool wiv my frnd.... I dont feel betrayed by him@all, He was and is still my closest pal on earth... We've been through thick and thins.. Its the girl i'm angry @... Told ma elder sis abt and she waz lyk though its normal 4me 2 feel hurt buh i should not allow it affect ma frndship wiv her(cant say if she's still ma frnd)..... @sexkillz or whoever talked about them dating..... They are not, and were nt even @ the tym the whole thing waz goin on.... They were just effing themselves ni. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 8:15pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
@OP in my world , people like you are called HYPOCRITES......here you are pissed off at the lady, yet you have absolutely no beef with your buddy. my stance on the issue is very simple, if you are going to be mad, then you MUST be mad at both of them or NONE of them (because both their action is the same). |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 8:25pm On Jun 30, 2012 |
MRbrownJAY: @OPi heard u! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Exponental(m): 1:40pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
U r overreacting! If u were in ur guys shoe, u will do d same. Dont blame them, if u ever had private closeness wit a babe, u may do d same. I will advice u ignore n move on if u dont av hidden agenda!!! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Exponental(m): 1:56pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
U r overreacting! If u were in ur guys shoe, u will do d same. Dont blame them, if u ever had private closeness wit a babe, u may do d same. I will advice u ignore n move on if u dont av hidden agenda!!!! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Nobody: 2:52pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
smh @ †ЂΞ level of reasonin of our youths dis days. All comments so far on dis issue is NOT related τ̅o wat †ЂΞ OP wants τ̅o find out! .He says he feels bad TOWARDS †ЂΞ chic for bn TWO FACED! because †ЂΞ chic had earlier said she respects both of them for knowin their limits wit her. .But in his absense, †ЂΞ chic threw all manners τ̅o †ЂΞ gutters & slept wit †ЂΞ other guy. Now OP, let me tell u one secret ∂α† will help u in life; (You never know with women). Ɣou r mad @ her coz u r yet τ̅o understand THE CONFUSING WORLD OF WOMEN. 1 Like |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 3:25pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
Jenams: smh @ †ЂΞ level of reasonin of our youths dis days. All comments so far on dis issue is NOT related τ̅o wat †ЂΞ OP wants τ̅o find out!Brov may ur daiz be long... With people lyk u, one can still trust dat some NL folks read&understand Original Posts line by line b4 commenting. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Mynd44: 3:35pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Fyngal1(f): 9:37pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
@op, i think u re over-reacting because u didn't hate ur friend who broke d agreement u both had. Btw, i think ur friend waz just trying to exonorate himself by claiming that d gal initiated d move. How re u sure abt dat? Did u ask d gal to know her own side of d story? Btw, good friends hv been known to become lovers so if she nd ur friend decided that they love each other, what's d biggie? Afterall, she only said she respects u both for knowing ur limits; she never signed any 'no dating' contract with either of u. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Fyngal1(f): 9:45pm On Jul 01, 2012 |
P.S: methinks matters of d heart should not be a community project buh a personal thingy cos jointly agreeing not to date a girl ain't adviseable. Same thing goes for pple who enter blood convenant. The wind of love blows whitsoever it pleases! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by pedestal82(m): 4:18am On Jul 02, 2012 |
@OP, me think u deeply in Love with the Babe. 4get that poo,abt u hving a babe in skool u dig. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 6:19am On Jul 04, 2012 |
Fyn gal: P.S: methinks matters of d heart should not be a community project buh a personal thingy cos jointly agreeing not to date a girl ain't adviseable. Same thing goes for pple who enter blood convenant. The wind of love blows whitsoever it pleases!They are not and were not dating atall, they were just effing demselves... Ok maybe i'm nt been allout here... The gal actually told us about a boifrnd she had then i think Frank by name, i just didnt want to mention this earlier nt 2 dent her unknown image as a cheat, dat actually is partly the rizon she's disgusting me... Note dat 1 does nt just give every single detail in matter lyk this. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by Gudintent: 6:25am On Jul 04, 2012 |
Lol,@ jointly agree that is so 19th century!!! Word of advice u likey u takey, u no likey u get to stepping!!! don't hate the player, step up or walk!!!!!! |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 8:01am On Jul 04, 2012 |
pedestal82: @OP, me think u deeply in Love with the Babe. 4get that poo,abt u hving a babe in skool u dig.who's denying not 2 have had feelings 4 her.... Buh saying i'm deeply in love wiv her, guy u're OYO.... And abt the talk of ma GF being poo, well ain't gat nada 2prove since i dont even knw u personally, afterall na social forum be this all man gat ryt to vent him mynd no matta hw delusional. |
| Re: Is my reaction justified? by HisMajesty1(m): 8:03am On Jul 04, 2012 |
Gudintent: Lol,@ jointly agree that is so 19th century!!!Aiite! |
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