Holla classe

What do you think about being friends with your partner's friends?

I don't like the idea and i really don't know why,i just think its cool for partner's to maintain their boundaries when it comes to each other's friends,i believe that the only friends they should have in common are the ones they knew and were friends with before they started dating\got married,I'm not saying be hostile to them but maintaining a distance and not really being close will do.

I have this feeling that trying to or becoming friends with your partner's already existing friends will do more harm than good(crazy right?) .

Is anyone with me on this?

Let's read your views.

Not that am with you but WOMEN makes its to be very dangerious

achi4u: Not that am with you but WOMEN makes its to be very dangerious

Don't you think you should elucidate your point?

^You no dey understand English for evening?

Why nt..so we can can actualy get to flirt behind her..wetin b my business..mtscheww..wld knw as many as possible..won't make attempt in knowin dem first buh if dey do nd make moves..dnt dull..wld do as many as possible but trust me no feelings..dey r standing on a long fin..doesn't change hw I feel abt my partner!

sista Freecocoa
if your BF always brings his friends around to hang with you guys then ultimately, they will become your friends too.....because there would be no boundaries any longer.

unless they each keep their friends separate, there is no way it is possible. but remember that being friends with someone doesnt mean that you suddenly have to hang with them while your bf is not around etc.
be friends yes, but keep a certain distance.

MRbrownJAY: sista Freecocoa
if your BF always brings his friends around to hang with you guys then ultimately, they will become your friends too.....because there would be no boundaries any longer.

unless they each keep their friends separate, there is no way it is possible. but remember that being friends with someone doesnt mean that you suddenly have to hang with them while your bf is not around etc.
be friendsyes, but keep a certain distance.

I gerrit.

But the main thing here is,is there really anything wrong with not wanting to hang with his\her friends as often as possible even if he\she wants you to? Its not like you'll be hostile to them but you just don't want anything that would lead to them becoming your close friends.

freecocoa: ^You no dey understand English for evening?

ehn now...
Brb!

freecocoa: I gerrit.

But the main thing here is,is there really anything wrong with not wanting to hang with his\her friends as often as possible even if he\she wants you to? Its not like you'll be hostile to them but you just don't want anything that would lead to them becoming your close friends.

if you explain that to him and he understands that "sometimes" you dont want to go along, then fair enough.......but it shouldnt be all the time.
as his partner, your man may want to show you off, or to go as a couple etc, and therefore you may have to make an act of presence.

also,depending on how you interact with these people, there may be no reason for them to even believe that you are "friends". be there and kept a certain distance, without being rude, et voila!

^And people wonder why i'm in love with you,you are my dream man .

I really don't see any point in it. I choose my own friends and she chooses hers. I don't think I must be close to my partner's friends out of sympathy for her feelings. Neither would I force her to be close to my friends.

I believe I should be her best friend and no one else should matter, not my friends, not her friends!

It is enough that we are two different people trying to make things work. We should not complicate issues.

Basically, being too good of friends with partners' buddies can be really disastrous. I believe this because 'too good' will mean that you'd have to start telling them almost everything about your relationship; from how Ted doesn't give you enough money for soup to how he nitpicks at the dinner table and stuff like that.

Plus Ted would be telling them about you too and before you know it, both of you will be divulging info that shouldn't have been and the relationship will be turned into one for more than two people, and this is where the problems will really set in.

But it is also good that you maintain a certain kind of good rapport with them, so they don't go talking ill of you behind you and all that wahala. Plus your relationship with your partner will become even deeper.

The overall of it; just look to keep the friendship within appropriate bounds of being in a partnership relationship with your partner. Try not to hang out too much with his friends, in his absence. Ask your partner what he expects of you as far as friends go, to know what he's comfortable with and what he isn't.

Chances are you won't last long if you do not like his friends or he may want to find himself some new friends, if you do not like his friends.

Personally speaking, I love keeping my distance with my partner's friends,
Yes! I can hang out with them (with my partner o' course) but I end it there, no further closeness cos am definitely not interested!

And if any of them be it male or female decides to come close i.e get involved with my relationship by wanting to know what and what not (which some of them do by the way), then 'l simply give them my usual one liner in this case, "we are fine and thanks for asking" cos I detest third parties getting involved in my relationship, my partner and I should be mature enough to handle our issues ourselves!

So No! I can't be friends with my partner's, I love my privacy and space so much which they might not understand.

I totaly disagree wit u, if ur enemy's enemy is ur friend then ur l lovers friend shud be ur .....


Du u know that atimes, a true friend could act as a middle man between u two....he can strenghten ur relationship.

I used to be close to my best friend galfriend..,we talk about how he loves her, misses her and cares 4 her.... I even lie that he thinks of marrying her

there was a day they were at the point of breaking up becos she saw a message in the guys phone....i had to lie to her that i put my sim card in his phone and sent the message....,,they reconciled back...

It depends on haw gud the friend is and his motive,.

*starting thought process*

All those false hopes and covering up, what for? I laugh in deceit.
Then when she starts to fall for you (which happens in most cases), you begin to wonder what you did wrong.
It's best you listen to them empathically (when they do come pouring their hearts out) and then tell him/her to go sort themselves out with their partner without any form of subjectivity cos you might be sending the wrong signals.

cowgurl: All those false hopes and covering up, what for? I laugh in deceit.
Then when she starts to fall for you (which happens in most cases), you begin to wonder what you did wrong.
It's best you listen to them empathically (when they do come pouring their hearts out) and then tell him/her to go sort themselves out with their partner without any form of subjectivity cos you might be sending the wrong signals.

Please tell him. Perhaps he has never been caught in the intricate web of emotions before.
I don't even want to be close to my friends' partners.

It doesn't interest me. I have my own issues to contend with. Can't afford to dabble into people's relationships.

If ur partners friends hve their game up more than u then it's risky. they may outshine u.

tobechi20: I totaly disagree wit u, if ur enemy's enemy is ur friend then ur l lovers friend shud be ur .....


Du u know that atimes, a true friend could act as a middle man between u two....he can strenghten ur relationship.

I used to be close to my best friend galfriend..,we talk about how he loves her, misses her and cares 4 her.... I even lie that he thinks of marrying her

there was a day they were at the point of breaking up becos she saw a message in the guys phone....i had to lie to her that i put my sim card in his phone and sent the message....,,they reconciled back...

It depends on haw gud the friend is and his motive,.

Exactly why u shldnt be too close to ur partners friends. U get to trust them but when push comes to shove they will betray u to protect ur partner. Be nice to them, hang out wit dem sometimes but never get too close.

tobechi20: I totaly disagree wit u, if ur enemy's enemy is ur friend then ur l lovers friend shud be ur .....


Du u know that atimes, a true friend could act as a middle man between u two....he can strenghten ur relationship.

I used to be close to my best friend galfriend..,we talk about how he loves her, misses her and cares 4 her.... I even lie that he thinks of marrying her

there was a day they were at the point of breaking up becos she saw a message in the guys phone....i had to lie to her that i put my sim card in his phone and sent the message....,,they reconciled back...

It depends on haw gud the friend is and his motive,.

The mainstream mindset of this generation I have been placed in SERIOUSLY falls my mind.

How is this in anyway a good thing? One would deduce from that statement that you actually feel...proud...about yourself for doing these things.
Helping to pump lies into someone else's relationship without prompting and actually thinking "doh, I'm helping <input ret[i]a[/i]rded laugh here>"

tobechi20: I totaly disagree wit u, if ur enemy's enemy is ur friend then ur l lovers friend shud be ur .....


Du u know that atimes, a true friend could act as a middle man between u two....he can strenghten ur relationship.

I used to be close to my best friend galfriend..,we talk about how he loves her, misses her and cares 4 her.... I even lie that he thinks of marrying her

there was a day they were at the point of breaking up becos she saw a message in the guys phone....i had to lie to her that i put my sim card in his phone and sent the message....,,they reconciled back...

It depends on haw gud the friend is and his motive,.

I didn't care to read the OPs post, I just saw this in my updates and had to comment. Oga u r not doing a good work. If u r using deceit to keep a relationship going on, u r those people's worst friend. Whatever u don't re-inforce deceit in a relationship. Male - female relationship is a union in which a little thing could metamorphose into a gigantic tsunami. If the guy was bad or is cheating, u either shut or advise her better.

The best relationship advise I got was when my ex's coz told me to leave the guy and gave me concrete reasons that I didn't even know abt. I investigatd and talked with my family and they concurred.

My 2cents

4 me_i dnt see d big deal dia,being on a gud term n hangin out wit dm isnt a bad idea.Show m ur frnds n i wil tel u who u ar n where ur goin,hangin out n being frnds wit dm wil unmask a lot abt who he/shet is_a frnd once told me neva 2 joke wit 2 tins in my relatnshp_Hs Family n Hs friend_cos dy go a lng way in encouragin or dscouragin dat relatnshp.

cowgurl: All those false hopes and covering up, what for? I laugh in deceit.
Then when she starts to fall for you (which happens in most cases), you begin to wonder what you did wrong.
It's best you listen to them empathically (when they do come pouring their hearts out) and then tell him/her to go sort themselves out with their partner without any form of subjectivity cos you might be sending the wrong signals.

nice point there,u just reminded me of an incidence with a close friend' gal friend.they were always aving isues,and being their midle person,I was always resolving their isues.there was dis particular ocassion dat I was trying to defend ma guy,while I was talking,de gal turned def ear,she plainly told me dat all she wants den was a sincere guy like me....What am i driving at?there is a need for dat boundary,cos ladies re too emotional,litu tinz can trip dem,so it' always bera not to share everytin abt ur affairs wit ur gal/guy wit ur frens.yes,a problem shared is half solved n at dsame time,a problem shared is also doubled

As long as you maintain a cordial relationship with them, that should suffice.

*thought process almost complete*

freecocoa: Holla classe

What do you think about being friends with your partner's friends?

I don't like the idea and i really don't know why,i just think its cool for partner's to maintain their boundaries when it comes to each other's friends,i believe that the only friends they should have in common are the ones they knew and were friends with before they started dating\got married,I'm not saying be hostile to them but maintaining a distance and not really being close will do.

I have this feeling that trying to or becoming friends with your partner's already existing friends will do more harm than good(crazy right?) .

Is anyone with me on this?

Let's read your views.

I kind of agree. . .sometimes its just unnecessary; with the potential of feelings getting mixed up, people getting meddlesome!

"Friendship" in itself isn't particularly associative, so I won't try to make it a point to get friendly with someone just because they are friends with my partner/spouse or a friend of a friend! The only exception would be if we just "clicked" naturally, otherwise I'd keep a bit of distance or let 'em be completely.