@ All,

I thank you andappreciate all ur suggestions/advice.

@least now i know that reasonable advice can come from Nairaland.

@sistawoman,

sistawoman:

What is it about this girl that makes you want her so badly when she is sleeping with someone else, not at your back but in your front?

I dont mean to be mean but I need to ask plainly.

It is not as if I want her so badly.
but I dont want to rely solely on my own opinion
I need other views just like urs in this situation, it will help me to take the best decision
I want to know if other /more experienced people in this emotional matters reason with me.

Personally, I have decided to quit but to keep my head cool about it.
So, what do u think
Is it a good decision

@sistawoman,

she didnt get married @ the moment.

Am sure she visits the man and very quick to denail the fact that she didnt sleep with the man even though i didnt ask her.

waterworks:

you know her you decide.
make a list. all the points that says shes after money put on one side. all the points that say she loves you put on another and all the points that say she was pressured put on the last side. dont avoid her. give one week to study her update the list as you go along by the end of the week you will have ure answer.

we cant really say because we are not in the relationship and a simple summary willl not sufffice. al we can offer at this point are guesses and assumptions. its all on you. good luck.

@ waterworks

Thanks for your insightful reply.
I cant study her the way suggested cos am working @ PHC and she travelled back to sch. yesterday
if there is any other way to really find out her real motive, pls let me know

This is very serious/funny!!!!

Fellow Nairalanders, if u could remember I presented this case B4 the house, How my GF of over 1yr started acting funny;
This happened sometime around jan.09 and she give me deadline to propose to her or get married to the other suitor.
Then, I brought it B4 u as MY GIRL IS FORCING ME TO PROPOSE TO HER . This is the post:



FELLOW NAIRALANDERS!

MY GIRL WALKED OUT OF OUR RELATIONSHIP- REASON THAT THE YOUNGER BROTHER OF HER SPONSOR PROPOSED TO HER. IT IS NOT AS IF THE GUY IN QUESTION IS ALL THAT RICH BUT THE TYPE THAT CAN EVEN SPENT HIS LAST KOBO(CAPITAL) IN ORDER TO MARRY AN UNDERGRADUATE. HE IS FORM ANAMBRA AND AN OMATA(TRADER).

MY GIRL IS A 2OOL STUDENT AND HAS A GOOD CHARACTER UNTILL RECENTLY. YESTERDAY BEING SUNDAY 22/01/09 SHE TOLD ME SHE  IS QUITING. IT ALL STARTED DURING THE XMAS PERIOD I WAS DEAD BROKE AND SHE PRETENDED THAT SHE CAN MGT AND TRAVELLED TO ANAMBRA CLIAMING THAT SHE WENT TO HELP HER SPONSOR AND STAYED TILL 5TH JAN.09. SHE PRACTICALLY ABANDONED ME AND I DIDNT HER SEE TILL YESTERDAY. DURING VAL PERIOD SHE LIED THAT HER IN-LAW DIED AND COULDNT SEE ME.

THE BOTTOM LINE IS THAT SHE IS PRACTICALLY FORCING ME TO PROPOSE TO HER KNOWING  FULLY WELL THAT I JUST GOT A NEW JOB THIS JANUARY THOUGH IS A WELL PAYING JOB IN AN OIL SERVICING COY. MY BROS AND SISTERS HOW CAN I PROPOSE TO HER WITH EMPTY HANDS WHEN I HAVE NOT EVEN COLLECTED MY 1ST SALARY. HOW CAN I PROMISE HER WHEN I HAVE NOT ESTABLISHED MYSELF.THAT SHE WAS DELAYING THE MARRIAGE INTRODUCTION FROM THE OTHER GUY TO GET MY VIEW. SHE IS JUST DESPERATE ABOUT THIS MARRIAGE ISSUE.SHE IS STILL YOUNG @ 24YRS. I LOVE THIS GIRL AND I THOUGHT SHE LOVE ME TOO.

SHOULD I PROMISE HER OR ORDINARLY ASK HER TO WAIT FOR ME.
OR IS SHE TRYING TO USE THE PRESURE OF THIS MARRIAGE PROPOSAL TO FORCE ME TO PROPOSE TO HER AND ASK HER TO WAIT FOR ME.PLS ADVICE ME.

PLEASE I NEED UR ADVICE


Thus, after reading ur esteem suggestions/advice;I simply her told to wait for me if actually she loved me.
and after the deadline she told me a week after that she is now in her husband's house and that i shouldnt call her or disturb her again. she stopped calling me but will always recieve my calls but most times cuts the phone suddenly as if she is recieving the call secretly. and that even if i propose to her now, she wont accept since i didnt do it when she gave me the time.

Then, last month i posted another topic which is the continuation of the former  My Girl Is Courting Another Man, Pls Advice . Here is the post:
PLS I NEED UR ADVICE URGENTLY!

MY GIRL SUDDENTLY TOLD ME THAT HER UNCLE WHO IS SPONSORING HER EDUCATION IS NOT ACTUALLY HER UNCLE  AND NOT IN ANY WAY RELATED. AND THAT THE BROTHER TO THE SO CALLED UNCLE WANTS TO MARRY HER. SINCE THEN HAVE NOT BEEN RESPONDING POSITIVELY AND ALWAYS GIVING EXCUSES WHEN EVER WE ARE TO SEE OR MEET.

PRESENTLY SHE SAYS THE MAN ( THE BROTHER) HAS MEET THE MOTHER OF MY GIRL AND DECLEAR HIS INTENTION AND THE MOTHER HAVE ACCEPTED HIM AND SHE IS NOW BEHAVIOUR VERY FUNNY AND NOW STUDYING HIM OR THE ARE COURTING FOR POSSIBLE MARRIAGE.

AND AM NOT HAPPY FOR THE POSITION  OF THINGS AND NEVER COMFORTABLE COS I BELIEVE THE MAN IS OUT TO HAVE HIS FILL AND MOVE ON.

NOTE: THIS MAN IS FORM  AMAMBRA STATE, THEY USUALLY PROMISE GIRLS MARRIAGE AND GO EXTRA MILE TO PROVE TO THEM THAT THEY MEAN BUSINESS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY DISAPPOINT THE GIRL AND MARRY FROM THEIR VILLAGE.

SHE ALWAYS COMPLAIN OF BEING CONFUSED AND DANCING TO TONE OF HIS MOTHER.

PLS, WHAT DO I DO?

SHOULD I I LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIVE OR SHOULD I PUT UP A FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT COS AM EQUALLY CONFUSED. I PASSED OUT FROM NYSC LAST YR SEPT AND GOT A JOB IN JAN 2009. IT IS NOT AS IF AN NOT MEETING UP.

DO U BELIEVE IS THE PRESSURE THAT IS CHANGING HER OR THAT SHE DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE?

PLS ADVICE NO INSULTS.

Background story,
on Jan.09 she called me to define our relationship, that is to either propose to her or engage her. But, my people how do i propose to a girl when i have not even collected/recieved my 1st salary. i ask her to give me atleast 6 months to put things in order b/4 proposing. and even since things has moved from frying pan to fire in our relationship.


You can refer to the post to get more info cos the topic is fresh here.

After all these, could You Believe that just two days ago she is back on her kneels and want us to start from where we stopped.
Pls, my people what do u think,   Is it because I DON BLOW Like TImaya that she wants to come back or she loved me and only misbehaved cos of her mum's/Sponsor pressure. or is she after money.

What do u Think

why worry when nite calls and extra cool still exist?

just save all u need to talk about till 12.30am and have up to 100naira credit. or betterstill u and ur gf should contribute 50-50naira each to buy the credit

Secretz:

Shouldn't have bothered to marry then! Plus, am sure the story would be different if it were her going out to clubs! Nothing wrong in married couples going to clubs, but my man leaving me at home with the kids on my own so he can unwind? what about me unwinding too.? abeg, we can unwind together jare.

Secretz:

of course, unwind with her, in her, on top of her, kilode? I'm sure he will forget club and disco as he will be having the time of his life with her!

@poster,

see now as u Bleep up!!!

make ladies abi na girls in the house/thread no stone oooooo!!!!

next time u won unwind pls go with ur wife@ once, but it is a man's world

God!!

If all 9ja girls reason the way all these nairaland girls do , then there is a very big problem.

why all una eye de chuk for money.    i advice all of u to go for love cos that is what counts when all ur pressumed pretty faces and body fades with time/age.

I believe that is what is till holding my parents together as if they are in their 20s.  they still goes to relaxation center/ club togeda.  But if u marry for money and at the time love should count ur husband will look for sweet 16 to club with. and u will remain a house wife. cos he will always believe to get any girl of his choice with his money just like he got u.

a word is enough for the wise.

richo2:

guy!!! the girl don tell the bobo that she is tired of him right in his face and u still de smell rat there?

@Richo'

B4 u can smell a rat, there is a rat if not rats!!
but u are not aware of the rat's position or its hiding place
thus, to catch the rat u have to set a trap for it.

abi na lier.

My brother i smell a rat.

just set rat trap for her am sure it will catch something.

edwardd:

Hi brodas and sisters, I need your honest help on this. Is it right to give a girl you've been asking out for almost 6 months, money about 10k to help her with her tuition fee. Because to me, it's makes me stupid but whatever you advise here count alot. cheers

I CAN UDRSTAND FROM UR POST THAT U ARE ONLY ASKING HER OUT FOR A WHOLE 6 MONTHS AND SHE IS NOT RESPONDING?

AND SHE NOW NEEDS 10K FOR TUITION FEE.  LET ME ASK U ARE HER PARENTS DEAD OR NOT CAPABLE?  OR IS SHE USING THAT TO GET U OFF HER BACK? MAYBE SHE WANTS TO EAT UR MONEY TO COVER ALL THE TROUBLES SHE HAS BEEN RECIEVING FROM U?  BETTER STILL AND VERY IMPORTANT-SHE MAY NEED THAT MONEY TO SPONSOR HER BOYFRIEND IN SCHOOL  THIS IS THE MOST LIKELY TRUTH. OR MAYBE THE BOY FRIEND IN SCH. ASKED HER TO DO THAT. I DID IT WHILE IN SCH. SO MY BRO BE CAREFUL ooo.

I KNOW THE 10K IS NOT TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL BUT TO THROW IT AWAY TO AN UNDESERVING BITCH IS A WASTE.   IF REASON ALL THESE AND FEEL COMFORTABLE DISHING OUT 10K THEN NO PROS.

NB; If u are observed, u will notice that majority of the females in the house/thread are supporting u to give out the money cos its their trade and also for the past 6 months u are nobody to her now she is in need she suddenly remembers u.     Bros reason well well b4 u f**k up ooooo!!!!

thank you for your contributions so far

IF I AM THE PARTNER, I PREFER TO BE TOLD OF THE VISITOR.
ATLEAST I WILL BE AWARE OF THE RELATIONSHIP FROM THE ONSET AND KNOW WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

PERSONALLY, AFTER GOING THROUGH ALL THAT HAVE BEEN POSTED SO FAR I DONT STILL SEE THE REASON WHY THIS THREAD SHOULD BE DEBATED THUS FAR!!!!!!

THE POSTER HAVE MADE HIS POINT AND it is left for those who have ear, let them hear!!!!
Case dismiss

FOR ME LIFE ITS SELF IS NOT FAIR.

WHAT U HAVE TO DO IS LET HIM GO. I FACED SIMILAR SITUATION BUT IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION COS MY GIRL WHO I LOVE SO MUCH WAKE UP ONE MORNING AND QUIT 4RM THE RELATIONSHIP.

I JUST LET HER BE AND TRY TO FIND POSITIVE THINGS TO DO SUCH AS FOUSSING ON MY NEW JOB.

THUS, I ADVICE U TO LET HIM GO AND FOCUS ON UR STUDIES COS U ARE IN UR FINAL YR AND THIS IS THE MOST SERIOUS PART OF UR ACADEMICS. TAKE HEART AND LOVE UR NEW BF COS THAT IS THE ONLY OPTION U HAVE NOW ELSE U WILL BE LEFT IN THE COLD WITHOUT ANYBODY TO SHOW U ATTENTION AND AFFECTION.

WAKE UP FROM UR SLUMBER AND FACED THE REALITIES OF LIFE. STOP CRYING AND LOVE UR NEW BF!!!!!!!!!

A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE .

I think i now get the message.

She never loved me or what she wanted from me she have seen and recieved and set to leave.

Chizzzz!!!!

go no my kneels to begg for her hands in marriage.
what will i do @ nite when i get honey? crawl on the floor for her?

And when u cant meet up to her demands u run away cos there is nothing again u can do else she will remind u how u begged her to marry u and to tell u that if jmes, john, harry or others had married her she wouldnt be suffering like this.

dont do it!

Why would u do that , it is now a sign of love or respect?

pinky lady:

IF U ARE IN MY SHOES SO U WILL PROPOSE TO A GIRL WITH EMPTY HANDS? SO U WANT MY PARENTS TO REGRATE SENDING ME TO SCHOOL THAT THE FIRST THING TO DO AFTER NYSC AND GETTING A JOB IS TO PROPOSE TO GIRL? MY MAN THIS AFRICA AND NOT WESTERN WORLD.


like some one said you don't need the whole world before you can

propose to a lady u've been courting for years and why would your parents

regret sending you to school just b/cos the first things you do after

graduating was to propse to a girl. don't really understnd this except

you a kind of guy that can't take a decision on his own without his parents

interference, and come to think of it this might be the reason why she left

you for the other guy

SO IF I HAPPEN TO BE UR BROTHER U WILL ENCOURAGE ME TO PROPOSE TO HER WITHOUT GIVING ME MORE TIME? THIS IS A QUESTION OF COMMON SENSE 1st THING 1st; @LEAST I HAVE TO RENT MY OWN HOUSE! IF NOT FOR ANY OTHER REASON OR DO U EXPECT ME TO BRING HER TO STAY WITH MY PARENTS?

I APPRECIATE ALL UR RESPONSE IT IS REALLY ENCOURAGING!

THANKS A LOT.

THE TRUTH IS THAT GIRLS ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED.

THE BEST THING IS TO HAVE ATLEAST THREE TO SEVEN GIRLS AT A TIME COS THEY MAY DISAPPIONT U AT ANY TIME.

I HAVE SAID MY MIND

sistawoman:

If she really was your girl she would be getting ready to marry someone else.
If she really was your girl she would have waited the 6 months for your next move.
If she really was your girl there would be no confussion in her brain as to what to do.
If she really was your girl she would be your girl and you would not be here seeking advice.

Are you prepared to take her on as wife right now?
Are you prepared to pay her school fees and her from this day forward?

@ SISTAWOMAN,

I THINK THERE IS SENSE IN WHAT U JUST SAID.
THESE QUESTIONS ARE REALLY EYE OPENER.

THANKS ALOT.

izeek:

let me start from ur last statement,

ui dont need 10yrs salary before u can propose to a girl.
if u know u wanna marry her, then propose and start workim towards it.
but my major problem is if she chose some1 else,
then u bera let her be.

@ IZEEK,

IF U ARE IN MY SHOES SO U WILL PROPOSE TO A GIRL WITH EMPTY HANDS? SO U WANT MY PARENTS TO REGRATE SENDING ME TO SCHOOL THAT THE FIRST THING TO DO AFTER NYSC AND GETTING A JOB IS TO PROPOSE TO GIRL? MY MAN THIS AFRICA AND NOT WESTERN WORLD.

romade:

obviously she wanted commitment from u & since it wasnt forthcoming she decided to move on with the guy making much investment even in her academics
its better u decipher the handwritting on d wall, get balanced finacially & get lucky with another lady that really deserves u

i understanding all that she needs committement from me but like i said how can i commit with empty hands. we are nigerians and understands that u have to put somethings in place b/4 engaging to a girl. must girls be desperate about about this marriage issue?

thanks for your advice- i really appreciate but its not easy at all.

pls more responses.

PLS I NEED UR ADVICE URGENTLY!

MY GIRL SUDDENTLY TOLD ME THAT HER UNCLE WHO IS SPONSORING HER EDUCATION IS NOT ACTUALLY HER UNCLE AND NOT IN ANY WAY RELATED. AND THAT THE BROTHER TO THE SO CALLED UNCLE WANTS TO MARRY HER. SINCE THEN HAVE NOT BEEN RESPONDING POSITIVELY AND ALWAYS GIVING EXCUSES WHEN EVER WE ARE TO SEE OR MEET.

PRESENTLY SHE SAYS THE MAN ( THE BROTHER) HAS MEET THE MOTHER OF MY GIRL AND DECLEAR HIS INTENTION AND THE MOTHER HAVE ACCEPTED HIM AND SHE IS NOW BEHAVIOUR VERY FUNNY AND NOW STUDYING HIM OR THE ARE COURTING FOR POSSIBLE MARRIAGE.

AND AM NOT HAPPY FOR THE POSITION OF THINGS AND NEVER COMFORTABLE COS I BELIEVE THE MAN IS OUT TO HAVE HIS FILL AND MOVE ON.

NOTE: THIS MAN IS FORM AMAMBRA STATE, THEY USUALLY PROMISE GIRLS MARRIAGE AND GO EXTRA MILE TO PROVE TO THEM THAT THEY MEAN BUSINESS BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY DISAPPOINT THE GIRL AND MARRY FROM THEIR VILLAGE.

SHE ALWAYS COMPLAIN OF BEING CONFUSED AND DANCING TO TONE OF HIS MOTHER.

PLS, WHAT DO I DO?

SHOULD I I LEAVE AND MOVE ON WITH MY LIVE OR SHOULD I PUT UP A FIGHT FOR MY RIGHT COS AM EQUALLY CONFUSED. I PASSED OUT FROM NYSC LAST YR SEPT AND GOT A JOB IN JAN 2009. IT IS NOT AS IF AN NOT MEETING UP.

DO U BELIEVE IS THE PRESSURE THAT IS CHANGING HER OR THAT SHE DONT LOVE ME ANYMORE?

PLS ADVICE NO INSULTS.

_{Background story,
on Jan.09 she called me to define our relationship, that is to either propose to her or engage her. But, my people how do i propose to a girl when i have not even collected/recieved my 1st salary. i ask her to give me atleast 6 months to put things in order b/4 proposing. and even since things has moved from frying pan to fire in our relationship}.

As a young Lab. Attandent, somebody came to me to find out what cuases him Blisters on his lip.

to tell u the truth i dont know but i faked busy and asked him to come back.

pls i need ur advise and response cos nobody is the custodian of Knowledge

pls respond fast.


thanking u all.

@ POSTER
SEE, ITS PAY BACK TIME FOR HER. JUST TAKE UR TIME AND MAKE UR INTENTIONS KNOWN TO HER AND LET HER BE.
DONT FEEL BAD THAT U 'RE LOSING THE GAME TO THE SO CALLED SMALL BOYS IN UR AREA.

WITH TIME SHE WILL COME TO REALISE HER MISTAKE AND IT MAY BE TOO LATE AND U WILL STILL HAVE UR PAYBACK TIME.
OR MAYBE SHE IS NOT SURE OF U COS U MAY CHOP AND RUN AWAY.

JUST TAKE UR TIME, COS IF RUSH INTO IT U WILL ALSO RUSH OUT OF IT



CHEERS!!!!!!

TO ME, THE MEN WEAR BOXERS AND THEIR WIVIES WRAPPER SO THAT THERE WILL BE CONSENSUS B4 PARKING THE CAR IN THE GARAGE.
men like to park their car(Rod) in the garage (pussy) after a long and hard day.

OR

SO THAT BOTH THE MECHANIC AND THE CAR OWNER WILL HAVE AN AGREEMENT B4 WORK GO START
u know say the Rod na de mechanic while car na de pu**y

OR

NON OF THEM WANTS ACT AS IF THE THING DEY HUNGRY AM PASS!

OR

THEIR PRIVATES DE SHAME

Yesssss!!! You can hid it when the person in question is a cas, va or the girl is free giver, way her p, sy de scratch her always.

Yes when u have crush for such persons u are bond to hide ur feelings else u will turn to a public laughing stock!!!!!!!

poster answer the question now b4 i go tell the next girl that u will kiss to bit off not only ur tonque but ur entire mouth.

TO ME THE GRAMMAR ERROR IS AN OVERSIGHT. ABEG NO NAIL THE GUY FOR CROSS SINCE U KNOW THE SITUATION HE IS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
ABEG ooooooooo!!!!!!

ogazi007:

That is their new style now,dont panic,just be her friend.
na from clap e dey turn to dance, no be naija girls?
she go soon dey disturb u with mtn call me i luv u,cal me i miss u or call me there is an emergency/send me a recharge card.
the last one dey vex me no be smal

@OGAZI,

NA TRUE U TALK ooooo!!!

@POSTER,
ABEG BONE THE GIRL AND TOAST EXTRA TEN GIRLS. IF SHE COMES BACK FINE AND IF SHE DOESNT NO WAHALA. ATLEAST U NOW HAVE EXTRA 10 GIRLS ON THE WAITING LIST. THUS, IF SHE DIDNT SHOW U GREEN LIGHT AND SHE SEE U FLOWING WITH OTHER UPDATE GIRLS, SHE WILL REALISE HER MISTAKES.

IN THIS WAY U WILL MAINTAIN UR BIG BOY STATUS.

GBAM!!!!!
ekwe chelam!!!!!