The transition of a loved one affects our love life.

The sudden transition of the beloved wife of my boss in 1987 changed my attitude to life more than the transition of my father in 1983, because she was like a very close sister to me. I could not bear the reality of her loss. so  I left Lagos after her burial and went to Port Harcourt and Enugu to get over my depression. Then the sudden transition of my beloved mother in 1993 totally made me an existentialist. I believed the world came to an end that day.
My sweet mother who did her best for me and made my Vegetarian meals separately for over 12 years was gone. My sweet mother I looked forward to seeing at my wedding and coming to see my wife put to bed was no more. I became numb. I thought I was in a glass world and others were mere images appearing and disappearing before me.

The people who would have comforted me were far away. Nikky was in Kano and Fidelia was in the US, but her mother did her best for me and my family. I would have left town again, but I had to look after my younger ones. After her burial, God took me away to Calabar and I was at the Metropolitan Hotel for a week, but I was still depressed.

I did not let anyone to know how I have changed, because I did not want my grief to affect others. I was in a very lively mood flying on ADC to Calabar and back to Lagos. I was recovering when Nikky had to return to Munich, because her mother and sister had to come to Nigeria to persuade her to return to Germany before the June 12 Crisis worsened. Her departure was not bad, because she could return to Nigeria later. She wrote me that she was unhappy when she returned to Munich. Then she left home in 1995 and had been missing since then. I was heart broken. There were so many female companions who wanted to comfort me, but they failed to connect with me. I politely welcomed them until they left.

One of them Uluoma, from Port Harcourt refused to let go and we became inseparable. She was big and beautiful and from a wealthy family. She was an Engineering student at the University of Port Harcourt and very brilliant. She was an Amazon and she could get whatever she wanted from any man in Nigeria. She got a free ticket to fly on the spot at a local airline in Ikeja, Lagos. She was something else. She did her best and my family loved her. We had the most melodramatic friendship. I cannot give details, because they are classified.

The loss of those who would have made me happier and merrier changed me and as I continue my life without them, I live only to cheer and comfort others to make them happy and help them to overcome the challenges of life.

I have not gone out of my way to look for anyone to replace Nikky or Uluoma, because no woman can take their place in my life. I am no longer an emotional person, because emotions are useless to me. When the present woman in life weeps, I do my best to comfort her, but the truth is I am more concerned about the forlorn orphans and widows who like me know the grief of the loss of loved ones.    

I cannot pretend and compose lyrical love poems and make love calls without thinking of those who need love most.

The bereaved ones who have lost their loved ones, whose lives will never be the same again.

Wherever you may be now, I know your grief and the depth of your loss, because I have been there and in my grief, I found the soothing relief of pure and true love, that only comes from above.

Take a deep breath and know that you have to light a candle for the departed and you must carry on the torch of the beautiful and wonderful life you shared with them and you must keep their memories evergreen in the garden of life.

Take heart.

I will say a prayer for you tonight.

Life is not a fairy tale
~ Bishop T.D. Jakes
 

so touching, may their souls rest in peace, AMEN,

Oriki, as usual, thank you for the thought, very generous of you.

To the memory of my loving father who taught me the strengths of manhood and never spared the rod, to my loving grandparents for teaching me my roots, educating me in ancient wisdom and spoiling me in ways that my parents would not approve of. To the fond memories of my all my deceased relatives. To the memories of all those who have gone before us, to them I dedicate this burning candle. May all these Souls rest in peace, Amen.

My Dad was the pillar in my life. I felt because I had I him, I had no need for any other man in my life. He was my friend, my father and my lover. I would compare any guy that approaches me with him and of course, they never measure up. I never needed any other love, cos I had him.

And then one day, 3 years ago, I was having my siesta after taking the last paper of my degree exams, and I had a dream; it was a burial, the coffin was covered and I couldn’t see the corpse, I looked around and saw my dad, he smiled at me and waved goodbye. I tried to reach out to him, but I couldn’t. He kept on drifting away until I could see him no more, and I knew without a doubt, that I had lost my love. My pillar, my rock, my everything was gone. I woke up from my sleep and called my Dad immediately. He said he was fine but I knew he was lying. Before I could travel back home the next day, he was dead. He died of kidney failure. I knew he was diabetic, but I didn’t know it was that bad.

I knew I was alone in this world. I recoiled, I withdrew into myself. I blamed everybody around me. They were planning to fly him aboard for a transplant, but they never told me. They knew he didn’t have time, but they never told me; they dint want to disturb my exams. My father was dying and they were worried about my exams. They denied me the chance of spending time with him during his last days. I was devastated. All the things I wanted to tell him, all the plans I wanted to share, all the dreams I needed to share ……

He was buried within 3 weeks. I guess it all seemed like a joke to me, until the coffin was lowered into the grave. The most impossible ingredient of death is its finality; the finality of parting forever with someone we love. It was my birthday and I was burying my father. At that point I felt like the most unfortunate person in the whole world, what more could go wrong with my life??

Anyway, nature hates a vacuum, I had to occupy myself, I had to find someone to lean on, I needed someone to trust, someone who could be a father to me. So the girl went wild. I started dating MEN. Don’t judge me, but I needed a solace. But it never worked; I ended up becoming more unhappy. I lost my self confidence, I lost respect for myself, I became estranged to my family, I was ruining my life fast. Then I realized I had to learn how to live with it. He was gone, forever. I had to get used to that. I had to accept that. They say time heals every wound. It’s been 3 years now and I no longer believe that. Because every day of my life, it gets worse; the wound get deeper.

I light a candle for my love, my friend and my father, whose memory will always be green in my heart. I love you daddy

Orikinla, Negro & Ujujoan, I feel your pains. I know what it means to loose a loved one. It is always very
My prayers is that "May they rest in peace and rise in glory" and "May the good Lord give us all the fortitude to bear such irreparable losses." (Nisee)

I lost a younger, blood brother about 10 years ago and also lost a close friend in my early years in the University. I cried so much that I lost my voice in both cases .  I wish I could bring them back to life.

I still have both parents and my fear is always, what will life be without them? The thought of it, as I type these piece brings tears to my eyes.  They have been my all in all. Their prayers, love, kindness saw me to this stage in life. But definately, I know they will surely leave one day.  And that is why I have vowed to always love them and provide for them so that in death too, they will be happy.

We need to be close to God (or Allah or whatever we beleive in). People die cheaply in our country. A lot of this could be avoided but for the way things are in our country. Imagine the agony of those mothers in Port Harcourt plane crash that took our beloved Bimbo Odukoya. They are sooo helpless. May God help us all.

It is a pity, well you guys have to take heart. Death is an inevitable course.

After that Chelsea VS Man UTD Match on the 21st of May, I didnt know it was the last time i'd set my eyes on my

beloved brother who slipped, fell and died in the morning. It made me hate football. It made me stop thinking of

football, Stopped listening to football and stopped watching football. May his Gentle soul, REST IN PEACE. Amen

Dere I:

After that Chelsea VS Man UTD Match on the 21st of May, I didnt know it was the last time i'd set my eyes on my

beloved brother who slipped, fell and died in the morning. It made me hate football. It made me stop thinking of

football, Stopped listening to football and stopped watching football. May his Gentle soul, REST IN PEACE. Amen

shit, sorry!

RIP to ur bruv

may their souls rest in perfect peace.

Dere I:

After that Chelsea VS Man UTD Match on the 21st of May, I didnt know it was the last time i'd set my eyes on my
beloved brother who slipped, fell and died in the morning. It made me hate football. It made me stop thinking of
football, Stopped listening to football and stopped watching football. May his Gentle soul, REST IN PEACE. Amen

OMG 4 real ? ? ? men, sometimes you just wonder why these things happen _{why . . .why why most humans die just like . . .that ! ! !}

I lost a young friend who was like a kid brother to me sumtime in march and reading this has brought back all the pains i felt at his death. Femi a final year student and an only child came home to bury his mum. After the burial,Femi fell sick and was diaognise as having kidney problem. He died barely 2 months after his mum. I saw Femi 3 days before he past on and i almost did not recongnised him,he was a shadow of his old self.

I ll like to also light a candle for Femi and also to all that has past on,may their souls rest in peace.

Thanks y'all. I'm pretty sure he's resting in peace.

Let us love life more by sharing and caring for those who need love most.
Your man or your woman should know that loving him or loving her is more than "You and I", but to love the life we share with others too.

One thing I fear most is the loss of a dear one. Sure, I have lost not-too-intimate friends and other people I liked, but I have never lost a dear one. And I'm defining dear one here in the strictest sense-parents and siblings.

Really sad stories

these days each time I look at my father, I feel like crying, I notice that the strong man of when I was young has aged. I see gray hairs and I nothice the way he reacts to things these days is not as he used to. I look at him and I imagine life without him, it brings tears to my eyes. Not one day passes without my telling him I love him.

I watched my grandma go senile and die in my arms last march, I never came to terms with her death until I saw her being lowered into the grave. I had this feeling of despondency and that kind of made me see the finality of death. I wept like a baby because I had lost someone I loved very much. Memories of our times together still flood my mind everyday.

I was in school today to check my NYSC posting when I saw a notice on the wall. It was a student affairs officer who had helped me so much in school and I was on my way to give her a bottle of wine and to show her something she had always wanted me to show to her when I saw her Obituary poster. I threw all caution to the wind and wept out loud.

I was at the hospital yesterday to visit a friend and in the same ward I was in, a little girl lost her mother. I watched as she wept for her mother and I also started crying. I could not help but hold her close to me. It is really a sad world we live in.

I was taking my SSCE exams in 2006, waiting to show my grand father my good results, little did I know that he was already dieing.

The news hit me in the morning. HE was gone. Forever.
I didnt cry. I was too shocked to cry.
But on the day of the burial, while he was being lowered to the ground, I realised, that was the last time I would ever set my eyes on him. And I wept. I wept.

Exactly 2 years after his death, on July 1st, 2008 my young uncle (my grandfather's son) died. He was sick and he just couldnt fight it no more, so he gave up fighting. He just let go.

I couldnt attend the burial.
I was too devastated to.

Just yesterday, at about 1am in the morning. I cried. For them both. Yes, I cried.
It hurts to know you will never see the ones you love again.

I light a candle for them!!!

ofurufu:

One thing I fear most is the loss of a dear one. Sure, I have lost not-too-intimate friends and other people I liked, but I have never lost a dear one. And I'm defining dear one here in the strictest sense-parents and siblings.

My Dad is 94 and my Mum around 62 and both are still very alive! Very strange, isn't it? To Allah be the glory for this rare favour.
Virtually all my closest friends have lost one of their parents. I pray my Dad lives longer to eat the fruits of his labour, especially spiritual, on me. I had always thought of losing my Dad since when he was in his 70's and I was in Primary school. I hardly thought of him witnessing the end of my secondary education, not to talk of University.So my joy knew no bounds when I started working and he was still alive. I pray he lives longer but if he leaves us today, it wont be too sad an incident. He has lived a fulfilled life. I'm just his 2nd generation son(from second wife married later), he already has Multi-Millionaire son and Grandson.


However the greatest fear I'm nursing is to lose my MUM or SIBLING. I'm seriously praying that doesn't happen now at all. I so much love my Mum. She laboured hard on me, being her first son in a polygamous family. I just started working and has lofty plans for her insha Allah. I just pray Allah doesn't take her life now. She's the dearest person to me. I pray she lives long like my Dad and eats the fruits of my labour, just as our Dad is eats the fruits of our Millionaire step brother.

My siblings? I love them so much and always pray I don't lose any of them now. I nearly lost my younger sister in 1994, then 7 years old, to an ailment nobody gave her hope of surviving.She survived miraculously.To Allah belongs the glory.

The closest person I have lost is the wife of my uncle. She and my mum were the closest 'mamas' in the family. They were like sisters. Anytime there was an issue in our immediate nuclear family, she mediated. She was a very nice woman. So when we lost her in 2005 at the age of 67, I felt very devastated. That was the closest person i have lost.

Another death that pained me occurred in March 2008 when I was serving my NYSC extension in Sokoto. I lost a friend, Lukmon Busari(PRO, Muslim Corpers, Sokoto) and Mallam Haruna Abubakar(Sokoto NYSC PRO), a very nice man and my adviser, in a ghastly autocrash on March 15, 2008. It was very painful,especially as I spoke with Lukmon just two days earlier.I wrote an article on that incident, published in the Daily Trust newspaper:

SOKOTO NYSC: ONE TRAGEDY TOO MANY
By:
The period was the last two weeks of August 2007.The place was the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) secretariat, Sokoto state. The atmosphere was tensed.The dramatis personae was this writer and the subject matter was an article, written by me, published in the August 19, 2007 edition of Sunday Sun newspaper. The write-up, which was an assessment of the first three months in office of the then newly elected governor of Sokoto state, Alhaji (Dr.) Aliyu Magatakarda Wamakko, shook the whole of sokoto state to it foundation. The write-up, through innocently and objectively put up, appeared critical of the governor and I was summoned by the sokoto state NYSC secretariat to come and defend how a youth corps member could be so audacious to 'interfere' in the politics of a state he had only come to serve. It was a trial of my life; my pen landed me into trouble.
The governor was angry. The NYSC was angry. It was insinuated that I was sponsored by Bafarawa’s DPP. I was quizzed here and there. I had been dragged into the raging Bafarawa-Wamakko political war. But for my rock-solid confidence, constantly reassured by my complete innocence, the issue could have consumed me. How a simple opinion article in a newspaper could spark a statewide fury still puzzles me, but that is not an issue to be reignited here.
While this my pen-induced tribulation lasted, one top staff of NYSC stood by me, sitting me down in his office several times, advising me, and offering the spritual tonic needed to survive in such moments. He was Mallam Haruna Abubakar, the Head of Public Relations unit at NYSC secretariat, Sokoto. He kept advising me that, as a Muslim, I should not be weighed down by what befell me; rather I should take it as Allah’s qadar (predestination). Proving my innocence to him, I showed him copies of some of my over forty write-ups that had been published in Nigeria national dailies since 2003, when I started writing, as a 200 level student in Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile Ife. He saw that most of my previous articles were either suggestions on moving the nation forward or analyses of the current socio-economic and political situation. Tears flowed freely from my eyes as this top NYSC staff admonished me on the need to be cautions before doing things. He reminded me that, now that I was a corps member, I was bound by new rules. NYSC bye-laws actually say no corps member shall issue press release. However, when opinion article as press release become the same thing, is what I don't know. Again, that is not an issue to be exhumed here.
Haruna consoled me and promised to, within his capability, make a case for the lessening of my punishment as a member of the disciplinary committee.
Predictably, my service year was extended by three months. It was another period of trial for me, but again Haruna was there to offer the soothing words. I was not weighed down at all. I immediately resigned to fate and knew that that was almighty Allah, the all-knowing’s, decree for me.
Weeks went by and my extension period rolled on. Everyday I consoled myself with Haruna’s admonition and I had planned that on the day I receive my discharge certificate, after thanking almighty Allah, I will just go to Haruna’s office and thank him for his concern and support for me. However, unknown to me, Allah had a different plan.
Then came Sunday, March 16, 2008, at about 3:40pm, I had just come back from the UDUS city campus where I had gone to read for my fast-approaching ICAN exams, I entered MCAN lodge (family house of a sort to Muslim corps members in Sokoto state) only to be approached by a colleague, Adeoye, and the message was straight forward: "Suraj, do you know Lukman, MCAN P.R.O. and Haruna, NYSC, P.R.O.? Both of them are dead. They were involved in autocrash".
Speechless, benumbed and dumb I was. Like a thunderbolt the news hit me. I cannot believe my ear. It was too shocking a news. I managed to mumble innalilahi wa inna ilaehi rajiun (unto Allah we come and unto him is our return) joined other collegues in observing the asr (late afternoon prayer) prayer and collapsed in the mosque.
It was one tragedy too many, so Haruna will not witness my day of joy. The ‘thank you’ note I had planned to drop in Haruna’s office was to be replaced by a condolence note. Here I am now, after being dishcarged by NYSC, writing an elegy on Haruna instead of a personal appreciation latter.
Lukman Adekunle Busari too is dead. I cannot believe I am not in a dreamland. I spoke on phone few hours earlier with this boy. It is very hard to believe Lukman is more.
As a "senior" corps member who had been in Sokoto state since March 2007 (batch 'A') I was on had to receive and orientate the new Muslim corps members that came in September (batch B),with Lukman being one of them. We met at the secretariat of the Muslim Corps Members Association Of Nigeria (MCAN), Sokoto State chapter, the very second day after his arrival in the caliphate state. Our friendship was inevitable, as we shared many things in common. Like me, Lukman also had a strong flair for writing, but unlike me, he read Mass communication in the polytechnic. So while my own was just an extra-currricular interest, Lukman as a mass communications graduate, was expected to be a good writer. We discussed at length and exchanged past newspaper publications to our credit. Lukman was already a freelance journalist, well known to no less a person than Mr. Femi Adesina, the editor of Daily sun newspaper. He shared me a copy of a full-page story he wrote for daily son’s showbiz page fewdays earlier. Lukman planned to serve at the Sokoto office of Daily sun newspaper, but recognising his usefulness quickly, NYSC posted him to their Public Relations unit at their secretariat. He was made the president of NYSC press club, and deputy editor - in - chief of SOKOPA, the official magazine of NYSC, Sokoto state (Haruna was the editor - in - chief ). The Sokoto state chapter of MCAN also could not afford not to benefit from Lukmans versatility and talent, as they made him their PRO. However, the ever-smiling Lukman never saw the end of his tenure in all these positions. He died alongside my equally dear Haruna on their way back from Argungu fishing festival on Saturday March 15, 2008.
So Allah has destined that my greatest adviser in Sokoto and one of my greatest friends will die together. I feel for Lukmon’s parents, I feel for haruna’s wife and kids. I have always respected the Hausa Muslims for their rare display of submission to Allah's will during moments of tribulation, especially loss of life and property, but this inherent shock absorber notwithstanding, the news of the young Haruna’s dead will not be a cheery one in the Abubakar family.
I am not given to the philosophical cursing of death. I will not even curse the driver of the Kebbi-State government owned vehicle that overtook another vehicle, veered off its lane and rammed into the innocently on-coming red Honda accord car driven by my dear Haruna. Allah’s decree has come to pass. Nobody can question His decree as he already informed us that " Every soul shall taste death. And we (Allah) test you with evil and with good as trial; and to us you will be returned "Q21:35. May almighty Allah forgive Haruna and Lukman their shortcomings and admit them into Aljannah firdous.

May God comfort the bereaved and may the bereaved live to cherish their good memories.

Queenzy:

I was taking my SSCE exams in 2006, waiting to show my grand father my good results, little did I know that he was already dieing.

The news hit me in the morning. HE was gone. Forever.
I didnt cry. I was too shocked to cry.
But on the day of the burial, while he was being lowered to the ground, I realised, that was the last time I would ever set my eyes on him. And I wept. I wept.

Exactly 2 years after his death, on July 1st, 2008 my young uncle (my grandfather's son) died. He was sick and he just couldnt fight it no more, so he gave up fighting. He just let go.

I couldnt attend the burial.
I was too devastated to.

Just yesterday, at about 1am in the morning. I cried. For them both. Yes, I cried.
It hurts to know you will never see the ones you love again.

I light a candle for them!!!

Queenzy,
Take heart and remember that as Christians, we shall see our beloved ones again as long as we will see Jesus Christ.
I know those who have seen their beloved ones.

Life does not end here on earth.

wow people.
May the Lord comfort you all.
I have lost people so I feel your pain
ofurufu,I hope God grants your 94 yr old dad, more years with good health.

May God grant my dad and mum good health and long life to see their children's children have children.
They have sacrificed a lot for us kids and other relatives and I pray for God's blessings on them.

Reading all these posts brought back memories of 2 of my closest friends I lost. One died abt 4years ago, other one (a female) died almost a year ago.

Also just heard yesterday that someone I knew from school passed away,

The common factor among all these three people is that they were fantastic people and true christians,

I ask myself, what was I doing when these people were dying, going to answer to call of the Master, to give account of the time they spent on earth, if it was I who died at that moment, would I be able to give a good account of my time?

It brings tears to my eyes cos these people were all youg, in fact one just got married a few months ago.

Lets all learn from this and live our lives in such a way that when we die, people would be able to say "he/she touched my life in a great way"

May God grant us the fortitude to bear the loss of our loved ones. Amen.

wow!!!!!!!!!!! never any1 wld write on this.

April 11, 1996 would probably be d very saddest day of my life thus far. i lost my dad, we had breakfast that same morning 2geda, God dat day stood still like some1 said i couldnt really cry out of shock!, u know both of us, were kinda of cat n mouse for the better part of my adulescent years, i was in 400L in d uni. frm when i left sec sch till i gained admsn to uni we always fighting/cruelling/arguing with eachother until 4 months to d day he died, for some strange reasons we had a very long talk one night sometime in january from about 10pm till about 5am the next my mum was so scared, cos u know once i had left home on protest n it took a lot of convincing to my mum the next morning that all was well, boy that day really turned things btw us, it was as if a heavy load was lifted off us both in btw the talk we cried knowing we beefing eachother wrongfully, frm then on nobody got a reply for anytin until he asked 4 my opinion perhaps save "junior', at least it was expected-last child.

we shared the same birthday, both temperamental, blunt, aggressive n pragmatic, funny enough we never took NO for an answer always probbing till we got what we wanted i guess it affected us both, somehow trying to out-do eachother somex i pity my mum cos she always in d middle u favourate child n hubby, i laff these days. the only consolation i hold on these days are the 4 months or so we had the together, boy were they great, he stopped my pocket money from age 17, u can immagine getting at least half that 10yrs after in cash, i was floating.

i visited the morr everyother day as if i worked there, i cos i cldnt really understand y he cldnt wait for me to get out of sch, just 1 yr to go, after our heart to heart talk, my greatest joy wld have been him witnessing my call-2-bar ceremony, [cos i left home earleir-on because i we quarelled when i said i'd never go 2 uni except its was 4 a law degree, laffffff, phew!!!!!!!!!! that wasnt meant to be.

it was during the burial dat i actually cried, since then death to me had remained in a box i pray God allows my mum see her 90th i wldnt feel it that much then. perhpas some1 shd go upstairs n negotiate with God what it wld cost to buy back life, at least i wld trade my wig n gown for dads life.


for my dad i lite up a candle i pray it burns for so long till i meet him face-2-face.

thank u dad 4 all d scolding they were really worth it perhaps i might trayed 2 far away.

my regard always.

Hmmm, Sunday 11th of January 2007, The day I will never forget in my life. The day I lost my beloved Angel, the queen of my heart, The love of my life. The day I lost Caroline my soulmate. I wish never to love again if I could because she's all I;d been living for. I still feel incomplete since the day she passed by. I love her so much and it's still like a dream to me because I'm expecting her to come by any moment from now. Since last year January, I never believe she has gone because she's always fresh in my memory.

I have to stop here, I cannot afford to shed more tears on the keyboard.

Caroline, I'm using this medium to tell the world that I love you and I'm still loving you.

Goodbye my love,

I almost committed suicide when i lost my girlfriend in 2003. She was sick before we left school @ Ado-Ekiti for Lagos but was stable in condition. We had a small 'qwanta' on our journey to Lagos- she said i was not talking to her as i should in the bus and that she would not return together with me to Ado-Ekiti in 3 weeks' time.

I never knew this would come to pass in a bitter way, though she never meant it either. When we got to Lagos, her brother's girlfriend who was a student nurse at LUTH administered a drip on her and her grandma at the same time cos her grandma she was living with was also a bit ill. The drip administration wrecked havoc on mother and child at the same time. Both were unconscious while on drip and later certified dead when rushed to the hospital. Mother and child, who is my girlfriend died at the same time on 25th July, 2003. It happened somewhere at Odogunyan, Ikorodu. Those who live around here could testify to this fact.

I almost got mad but for the saving grace of God. I understand what it is to lost a loved one particularly the one that your whole life almost depended on. Indeed, i returned to School all alone without her on the 3rd of August 2003 (earlier than i should have returned), just to put myself together and settle to the reality of living my life without ADEDUN any longer.

I still could not believed it hadhappened until i helped moved her things from school back to Lagos. The sister nurse was arrested and taken to Panti, but was later released since it was more of a family matter and the family members decided to resolve it within.

It is my prayer that those already in love will not experience what i experienced. It was as if there would be no one like her in my life again. I thought i would drop out of school because of the pressure of coping with my academics. God is great, He comforted me and with the help of friends who stood by me throughout the period, i was able to putmyself together once more and the pains were gone but her memories were still there.

I graduated with a DISTINCTION, by His grace, and despite all odds and spiritual warfare i later experienced back in school. Got a moderate job and today i have a comforter and helper, i am married with a baby boy.
I still discuss her with my wife and it is my prayer that we meet in His bosom, Amen!!

It feels really bad to lose someone you really love. I mean someone you grow up to love. Someone that would go the extra mile for you without asking for a reward.

I lost two women that meant everything to me in 2003 & 2005.
The first is my beloved mother. Am her only child; i dont mean surviving. I mean only. I have no sibling from the same womb. She calls me the queen of her little world.
My mother was my companion, my sister, friend. She always had a solution to whatever challenge that came my way. She knows the right decisions i should make at any point in time. There were times she will say just have patience everything will be alright, She meant everything to me. I CAN NEVER FORGET HER.
She is a woman that people always want to associate with.

But suddenly in December 2002 she fell ill. I never knew it was serious, because i was school then running my HND programme. I do call her, give her portions of the bible to read. Deep down in my heart i believed that she will not die. I had so much faith that she will live to see my husband and children, I prayed all manners of prayers with faith.
My mom wanted to stay alive for me.
Even in her sick bed in the hospital, she still wanted to meet my needs. AH MY MOTHER; I MISS HER SO MUCH, NONE CAN EVER TAKE HER PLACE IN MY LIFE
After my 2nd semester exams i ran down to PH to be with my mum. I had so much faith that she'll live.She was just 40 then.
BUT ON THE 7TH OF AUGUST 2003, AFTER I FINISHED BATHING HER, I FED HER; SHE ATE VERY WELL.
THE LAST WORD SHE TOLD ME WAS "CLOSE THE DOOR LET ME SEE IF I CAN SLEEP". AND MY ROLE MODEL NEVER WOKE UP.
I WAS LEFT ALONE IN THIS WHOLE WIDE WORD AN ORPHAN WITHOUT A BROTHER OR SISTER. SINCE THEN MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME. NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY TO FACE REALITY.
After her death, i made so many mistakes in life; things became very difficult; who will i run to? I am just alone with my God.
Jehovah has thought me to take one day at a time. I know the one who gives and takes life loves me becos HE's been my pillar since then. I cant say everything here but WHEN I REMEMBER THAT I HAVE NO ONE AS IN A BROTHER OR SISTER FROM THE SAME WOMB, I STILL FEEL VERY EMPTY. ITS FIVE YEARS NOW BUT ITS LIKE IT JUST HAPPENED NOW.
"MUMMY MAY YOUR SOUL REST IN PEACE, GOD IS HELPING THE QUEEN OF YOUR LITTLE WORLD, WHERE THOSE WHO HAVE PARENTS CANNOT REACH, THE ALMIGHTY GOD WILL HELP ME GET THERE"[i][/i]

After her death i lost another woman, my uncle's wife. The woman that taught how to cook and bake. She taught me to give even when i dont have enough. A WOMAN THAT WILL GO HUNGRY TO MAKE SURE THAT NOBODY WILL STARVE AT HOME. I WAS WITH HER ALSO THROUGHOUT HER ILLNESS; AT THE CHURCH, UNIVERSITY OF BENIN TEACHING HOSPITAL, & DIFFERENT HOSPITALS IN PH.
Like my mom she wanted to stay alive for those who love her; her children, husband, mother, brothers & sisters. BUT WHO CAN SAY NO TO DEATH?
SHE DIED ON THE 24TH OF FEBRUARY, 2005.

SINCE I LOST THESE WOMEN, MY LIFE HAS NEVER BEEN THE SAME. EVERYTHING JUST CHANGED.

I CANT JUST CONTINUE, THE TEARS ARE STILL COMING, I CANT STOP THEM.

Good night IKECHUKWU OGBUDU
[font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]He was full of life, hopes n dreams.he had loud dreams n desires when i visited last october.he introduced his finance 2 his parents dec25th2007.he had his traditional marriage easter 2008 n she went back 2 YOBE STATE where she serves.
June 2008, she called 4 him 2 come pick her up @ owerri since she just arrived.He rushed from d office in Omok,Rivers State to go pick his LOVE ,driving at full speed.BUT IKECHUKWU OGBUDU NEVER MADE IT.She waited endlessly not knowing d LOVE she was coming 2 meet was now a CORPSE.
Just d native rites no wedding planned 4 december 2008, to be d talk of d town in a very long time with d best event planner in PH handling it BUT ,
What will Blessing tell d unborn child when he askes 4 DADDY?
Where will she start from, A WIDOW EVEN BEFORE MARRIAGE?
Is SHE/HE CURSED?
wAS IT D HANDI WORK OF D ENEMIES-Occultics,house hold enemies,etc
I JUST CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT OR COME 2 TERMS WITH THIS RUDE SHOCK.
DEATH, OH DEATH, WHERE IS THY STING?
What is d purpose of man's existence
Will i see my loved ones 2 wish them goodbye b4 leaving?
Do d young know they will die?
IKECHUKWU OGBUDU,u left a vaccum no one can fill.
Where ever u are, know ur mother weeps
She cries asking everyone to BEG YOUR WIFE TO DELIVER D A BABY BOY THAT WILL BE IKECHUKWU FOR HER SO HER GRIEVE CAN END.
If u knew u were going 2 lerave,Y did u not say so?
DEATH WHERE IS THY STING?
OH DEATH WHERE IS YOUR STING?

Life has taken a new meaning 4 me.I appreciate every second of it n vow not 2 wasdte it anymore.
I CHOOSE 2 SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY LOVED ONES MORE THIS DAYS.
I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY WE ARE HERE CAN SOMEONE HELP ME?

May their soul rest in peace Pizzy and every other ppl that have lost loved ones ,God bless you and he will continue to strenthen you.Amen

I lost 3 very important women in my life in the last 4 years. Two of them were relatives but they were closer to my family than my parents immediate families. The third and most recent is my grandmother whom I lost some 4 weeks ago. I cry as I write this. These women were there for us through thick and thin. When my parents nearly split up due to pressure from my paternal relatives some 10 years ago, they made sure it never happened. With women like them in your life, you'd take on the world.  Everything I am today, I couldn't have been without the significant contributions they made. I would never forget them, never, never, never, till the day I die. I keep remembering their voices, their smiles and all the times we shared together.

I was particularly looking forward to seeing my Grandma at the end of this year but she isn't there now. I sobbed like a child for throughout the week following her death. She was 69, still strong, very independent and still ran her own business.

When myself and my siblings were still very little, we would spend the weekend at her place. She would spank us when it was necessary and reward us when we were good. We wouldn't miss those weekends with her for the world. We loved are dearly.

My grandmother greets me with a smile and a hug and says 'Arike jojolawo' and my head swells with pride. And she does the same with all my siblings, greeting them with their special names.

She died as a result of head injuries in a car accident. I wish I could have stopped that accident from happening.

Mama, sleep well. We all loved you, still love and will never forget you.

I hold fond memories with these wonderful women dear to my heart.

this are sad stories it hurts my inner mind,am so sorry what a life,may all their soul rest in peace

The devastating effect of the loss of a loved one cannot be overemphasized.

I loss my younger brother on the 8th of August, 2008 in Lagos. He was a

staff of Zenith Bank. I can't just get myself to believe he is actually gone.

Such a great loss. Did I say he was 27 years old?

During my second year tenure @ the university my childhood friend was hit by a car just a distance away from me and died on the scene. 4 years later im still get nightmares about it, damn it feels like yesterday, may his soul rest in peace.