Administration1:
■ Why do people make this mistake in marriages, I told my wife that the day you go and seeking someone whom I revere to have audience with me, over our marriage issue, is the day our real problem starts.
Any spouse who does that is evil. Like I said earlier there's a place for communication in marriages. Sit down and talk. The issue OP has is a very trivial one to deal with, it's just that they do not "speak" the same language. I can recommend 3 ways to restore sexual life to that marriage, I have already mentioned one in my first post

eniolorunfe:
@op
The chances that she will try to change if you carry out what you intend to do is quite high. If she changes, are you willing to continue with the marriage or you just want out?

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Leilami:


Hainest!!! Oga

5 times a week? 😳
Are you a lion? I was just reading and scrolling until I got to this part and I decided to log in and comment. 5times a week for the past 10 years and you don't think you are the problem? Divorce her and remarry and believe it even the next one will run away because of too much sex. Are you addicted to sex or you don't have a hobby to distract you? Maybe you should turn one of your rooms into a mini gym and exhaust your energy because you need it. Chai!!

ADURA123:


You dey M*D ni? did you not read the part I said I am investing on a project she is aware of? Does that not tell you it was our agreement to give her that?

Mod: This project is costing me over 7-8 by end of 2024 where the dividend will start flowing in?

ADURA123:


No...this I can swear with anything...she is not just meeting my sexual needs, simple, she complained I have too much sex drive and she is not ready to be killed.

Acidosis:
You no try, sir. You earn 700k and all you have to spend on your family with kids is 100k every month, leaving your wife to cook, clean, wash, do nanny work and market runs, and probably still do her regular job, and you expect her to give you hot sex? With which energy, please? The same energy you could have preserved by spending extra 50k on a good cleaner or cook?

Give yourself a heavy knock on the head.

Kobojunkie:
Clearly, it ain't trivial to OP as he has been pretending to be a husband for some time now. Why would you wish for him to continue that charade any longer? Only so the woman can continue to wear her Mrs. badge or something? She spent 13 years of her life catering to a man who does not seem to have deeper feelings for her more like she has been forcing herself on him all the while. The man is ready to move on, so why force him to stay for her sake?

Leilami:


Hainest!!! Oga

5 times a week? 😳
Are you a lion? I was just reading and scrolling until I got to this part and I decided to log in and comment. 5times a week for the past 10 years and you don't think you are the problem? Divorce her and remarry and believe it even the next one will run away because of too much sex. Are you addicted to sex or you don't have a hobby to distract you? Maybe you should turn one of your rooms into a mini gym and exhaust your energy because you need it. Chai!!

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

ADURA123:


4-5 times a week, pls note not " round" i mean on each act we do two round only. lets say early morning and night

Neverlookback:
■ I wish you didn't include the monetary figures in your post, as it has caused individuals that have no idea about your home dynamics to focus on it rather than the gist of your post. I would not recommend you divorcing your spouse at this stage, as it is still premature. Sexual intimacy is very important in any relationship, especially in marriage, no doubt. After you've exhausted all forms of open communication and you still feel lacking, then you may consider a trial separation, without cheating. During this period, there's a good possibility that you may rekindle what you had prior to the kids coming. You said you still love her, so obviously there's still a great chance that you two will work out. I'm not sure if you do this currently, but date nights, some weekends away from home (from kids) do wonders to couples intimacy. God's blessings as you and your family navigate through this trying period. But how do you propose to stay alone, according to you, when you mentioned that you have a high sex drive?

NoToPile:



4-5 times a week 2 rounds is too much, too much no wonder she says you want want to kill her.


I doubt there's any woman married for 13 years with children who will not complain having sex 4-5 times a week morning and night (two rounds each) that will not complain. Even younger couples too will complain. This is the truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

You will need to adjust your appetite, sir.

Darlingme:
@Op, Evaluate it again. Sit her down and tell her of your intention and how you have suffered all these years. Believe me, you can't divorce her and stay alone without entering more tight situations. Either positive or negative. You said you have kids. Don't make mistake where your kids will grow up to see you as a bad father who left. Money isn't everything pls. Very important, she need counseling in respect to this. She might not even know she's not treating you well.

pandax:
Is your wife circumcised?

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

NOETHNICITY:
This problem is very easy, simply attempt to marry another woman and you will see your wife sit-up like a chair.

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

ADURA123:

Pls don’t divorce her if she not cheating on you , talk to her , take her for vacation and let her free her mind ,
I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

Kobojunkie:
Stop trying to blackmail OP by mentioning a God he did not see fit to mention in his entire OP abeg!

OP has checked out of the relationship a long time and even has a plan for his future that does not include the woman. Why do you think that forcing them to remain attached is the way of God? Una get heart at all? That woman has spent 13 years of her precious life catering to a man that has yet to develop deeper feelings beyond the needs of his dick for her. Why would you want to punish her for continuing in such a loveless situation for crying out loud? The children? Do you think Children enjoy having their parents live together as though strangers?