ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

I have read through your message Sir.. A marriage of 10years is what most people have been praying to get to, but unfortunately they didn't even last a year. You getting to this years with her isn't a mistake. The question is when did this complain of not liking sex started? From the beginning of this marriage was she a very active person? Every marriage should have a mentor. Did you speak to your mentor about this.. like your pastor? Have you sat her down to talk heart to heart with her? Have you asked her if she will like it if you cheat? Definitely she won't. Now giving her 1m in Nigeria of today, won't even do anything much. How about her age? Where will she start from after a marriage of 10years? How about the kids you have, what will be their fate seeing their parents separated and if they should ask you what was the cause of the separation, how do you explain to them. My take, before you take any decision, think about your kids, yourself and her. if you want to live alone as time goes on, you will begin to do that which you never did in 10years which is adultery. Remember adultery is a sin and the bible does not support divorce as well. It's something you should sit and think about it very well especially she being the wife of your youth, you both must have gone through a lot together. Homones changes as a woman gives birth and level of sexual strength decreases as one grows older especially the females. Go for counselling,it's a time to help her and not let go. Fight it together. There must be this one person that she listens to. You too should work on your sexual drive, study her new sex drive and work out how to key yours in so both of you enjoys it. May God bless your home Sir.

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

I am sorry to inform you that it is too late!!!

Get her intimacy gadgets for both of you.

Kobojunkie:
Very stupid rubbish post by your person. The same Paul you lot quote also indicates that you sin against your body when you link it to a prostitute. But here you advise Op to become a male prostitute in marriage to his wife so his wife sins against her body by remaining joined to him. Your churchians are some of the looniest in the bunch out there.

E no tire you!

Are these the same men here who insult women every day and accuse them of loose morals? Hypocrites!

This is very simple, tell her you will need to marry another wife since she can't satisfy you sexually.

Sexual avoidance in a marriage is very great sin in the eyes of God and man. If you know you don't like sex it is better you remain single.

There is nothing wrong in marrying more than one wife. Islam support it, traditional believers support it even in the Bible, there is no part or scripture that explains you should not marry more than one wife. The idea of marrying one wife is a western idea, infuse into Christianity and that is what is killing us.

Please take a second wife, if she wants to leave the marriage because of that, let her go. Ensure you don't cheat in the process. There is no love without sacrifice. Your wife don't love you enough to give you her whole self.

Don't not cheat, I repeat, don't cheat.

yemmit90:
■ Then what is the need to divorce her? Oga get a side chick if sex is the only thing that want to make you leave your marriage. Every woman is like that, ask some of your friends and married men around you, they will tell you the truth.
Women bodies and psychology do change significantly after giving birth. House chores and taking care of children are not child play please. They are not robots, most time, they got tired, and sex could be the last thing on their minds.

You folks are wicked and don't even realize it at all. So you are advising OP to commit adultery all so he can avoid divorce which is legal and the sensible thing to do in his situation?

If your own wife turns to cheating rather than divorcing you when she realizes she no longer loves you, would you equally be happy with that?

mariahAngel:


So, what is the point?

Emm the point is that op will now be camping different babes.

But jokes aside....I feel OP frustration but he need to weigh the cost. Since he's relocating I think things will sort themselves out. That urge to sleep with her will disappear when she's fat from you trust me. She will also be the one craving sex after some time. Some women are like that

Foodqueen:
And if the other woman too starts doing the same thing after some years

Besides, adhere to your signature.

Then he should continue the process. No big deal

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

alone and free to do what please...?
I would advise you get a side chick...
Make her know you have another woman, give the other woman more attention, see will feel jealous and would want to fight to get her man back

Don't leave the house. There are many things you have to do before you consider such extreme move.
Your attitude: this 700k net may have made you to be proud and bossy. You need to humble down.
Take her out: take her outside the house. Lounge in a hotel with her
Buy her things.
Involve third party.

Acidosis:


Mr Project, keep your yeye co r.k until you finish your project. No kill pesin daughter! You want her to work like elephant at day and still do vigilante night work because you don't want to spend ordinary 25% of your finance to run your home.

Don't mind the selfish guy. And his type will not assist with house chores. So he is planning to divorce when the investment will start yielding profit, and enjoy the investment alone. Greedy man. Get her a house help to do most of the chores , and see if she will not have time for you at night.

ConfidentialDoc:


Sad thing is:
When you have to descend to various schemes and tactics to get what a side chic would give without much hassle....isn't the marriage now overvalued?

You are perfectly right bro.

Paracetamol01:
■ alone and free to do what please...?
I would advise you get a side chick... Make her know you have another woman, give the other woman more attention, see will feel jealous and would want to fight to get her man back

I hope when we give your wife the same advice if she ever gets tired or bored in your marriage you will applaud us for doing the right thing.

holybabayo:
Don't leave the house. There are many things you have to do before you consider such extreme move. Your attitude: this 700k net may have made you to be proud and bossy. You need to humble down.
Take her out: take her outside the house. Lounge in a hotel with her
Buy her things.Involve third party.

Rubbish! All your many third-party interventions are to blame for the high rate of marriage unhappiness in Nigeria today with everyone getting side-chicks and side-dicks all over the place. It is time to use your own head in your relationships and marriages.

Kobojunkie:
I hope when we give your wife the same advice if she ever gets tired or bored in your marriage you will applaud us for doing the right thing.

off cause yes...I won't

JONSYN7154:
Yes everything is wrong.

Why take advice from your father when him and your mother are enjoying their own marriage?

Think twice before divorcing her so that you won't regret it later.

My ten kobo advice.

So he should have been cheating on her?
Make it make sense..

ADURA123:


I am not divorcing to remarry, I want to be alone and be free. Thank you

So that you can flirt around? My brother take life easy so you dont get to where you can no longer come back. Sex outside marriage comes with grave consequences. If after divorce you dont marry then you want to live anyhow sexually, that can cut your life short. please think twice. I guess you need to convince your wife that both of you see a therapist or psychologist. Your wife maybe having some emotional or psychological issues.
An average woman should also enjoy sex. You are a bit selfish thinking of pleasure from your own side alone. calm down and help her and you will enjoy your home again. Bro nothing out there o. They look wonderful because you feel you are tied down, break out and give yourself 6 months , you will get tired and wish you never divorced. Dont allow your erection determine your direction and decision. Its not worth it.

With all the qualities all of you posses,I can rightly call you MUMU of the highest order. Big MUMU indeed,bags. The next wife you will get be worst than those taught Tonto Dike how to behave in marriage.

Baga... because ur Dad taught you to be faithful to your wife , instead of u to relieve urself somewhere and keep your marriage ,you are here with long negative plans on how to divorce her cus of sex . Mugu

Foodqueen:
And if the other woman too starts doing the same thing after some years

Besides, adhere to your signature.

So he should continue to be s*x starved in a marriage?
Or he should go ahead and cheat?

Untube:


Don't mind the selfish guy. And his type will not assist with house chores. So he is planning to divorce when the investment will start yielding profit, and enjoy the investment alone. Greedy man. Get her a house help to do most of the chores , and see if she will not have time for you at night.

This is hilarious sha. Na the investment part dey pain you? Op said it is HIS money. She also works and contributes nothing so I don't understand why you think that op should not enjoy the fruit of his investment.

Any woman that cannot satisfy her man sexually should not marry please. There are three things that can destroy a home
Lack of sex
Lack of money or secrecy in financial matters
Barrenness

CHoccolaTE:


How are you earning 700,000 a month when you cannot even spell simple words and type proper English.

So many school teachers can spell simple words and type proper English, why are they not earning 700,000 a month?

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Took you 10 years to know that you're selfish.....
She deserves better......wish the kids weren't yours....blablah....?!
It's understandable you wanna take a new leaf.....but because of the space you have occupied in this world, it's your responsibility.....and don't go priding that you're good...none of us are.
Think you're one of those lucky, stupid ones.....well that's wat is obtainable in life too.....second base.....need to pay fees and take my wife out, been a while.

etzvictor:
I know from personal experience how painful it is as man to be denied sex by your wife. Their excuses are untenable and it doesn't even seems to bother them that they may end up driving their husbands outside.

But, I don't think it will be a wise decision to divorce her. Just consider your children. Imagine the psychology impact it could have on them. You are hurt, I know, it has been going on for years, I know, but then, think twice before you act.

She is not denying him sex! They have sex enough for a human being
She is just not giving in to his high demand for sex for 5times a week and 20-25 times a month with a duration of 2 hours.

Some of these men lack tolerance and are extremely selfish. They think marriage is about having everything. They don't want to compromise. A woman may tick all their boxes or have 9 qualities out of 10 qualities they seek but it is that one she does averagely though not perfectly that they will nag about. I am sure he is not even perfect and she has areas she is managing him too-areas that are extremely important to her as well.

Imagine poster not being able to adjust and have sex twice a week? na wa
He says he wants to divorce his wife because of his high libido when it is his wife who is supposed to divorce him.

Klass99:

You will not stop deleting evidence abi? 🤣

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

Two options
either masturbate or marry 2nd wife
I will advise you go for the latter
Just rent another apartment for the 2nd wife
if you don't have resources for apartment
Look for a matured lady that is barren and marry her
side chick is not good

Just like I said before, the only thing Naija man hato offer in Life is money. Take money from the average Nigerian man and watch him turn to a walking dead.

ADURA123:
Good evening fellow NL members,
My story may be long but pls endeavor to read to the end so that you can make proper suggestions or advice.

I have been married for more than 10yrs now with beautiful kids, my marriage is one that many Young guy will wish to have, but along the the line I don't know what happened things begin to nose dive. In the last 6yrs I discovered that I struggle to make love to my wife, she will either tell you ohh, she is tire or she don't like sex much..this I have endured for all this years with no cheating.
Her qualities are
She can cook
She can keep the house clean
She can manage resources
And she is accommodating to my people
In all this years I have never cheated on her, proudly saying it coz my dad warned me of cheating on my wife rather I should divorce her and go for another wife.

My qualities are
I work and earn like about 700k net a month.
I give feeding allowance and personal total of 100k a month while I invest the rest on a project which she is aware of.
I don't drink or smoke
I don't keep late night
and I am the best friend to her and my kids.
Honestly having talk to her for over 5yrs on this issues of love making and she refused to change, then I have decided to yield to my dad advice and ask her to leave...she is not aware of this plan, but trust me it will hit her.
I allow her to do little job to have her own finance is not as if she contribute anything in the house, but she is claiming stubborn, I love her so much, it will hurt me to cheat on her, something I have not done since I got married to her.
I plan moving to a new place in February, and she doesn't fit into my plans.

My decision between now and December is
1 Avoid asking her for lobe making
2 Continue taking care of her so she won't suspect anything
3 when she comes close I avoid her.
4 February I issues divorce papers and give her like 1m to go get her life back

Is there anything more I can do for her?
Advice me pls...

My candid advice.... in as much as you wife is not cheating on you, do not destroy your family by divorcing. Divorce has never been good to a child's upbringing. Have that in mind. Work on your game. There's a difference between sex and lovemaking. Learn to interact before the main thing... add pre-intimacy. Before you know, she'll be the one coming to you.

seyi072000:
This is very simple, tell her you will need to marry another wife since she can't satisfy you sexually.

Sexual avoidance in a marriage is very great sin in the eyes of God and man. If you know you don't like sex it is better you remain single.

There is nothing wrong in marrying more than one wife. Islam support it, traditional believers support it even in the Bible, there is no part or scripture that explains you should not marry more than one wife. The idea of marrying one wife is a western idea, infuse into Christianity and that is what is killing us.

Please take a second wife, if she wants to leave the marriage because of that, let her go. Ensure you don't cheat in the process. There is no love without sacrifice. Your wife don't love you enough to give you her whole self.

Don't not cheat, I repeat, don't cheat.

Why must the sacrifice comes from the wife? Can't he sacrifice too and reduce the duration and number of times he Santa sex from 5 times a week to 2 times?

Hope you know they are women like these men who have the same huge appetite for sex with high libido just like this man.
Hope when they come here and nag like he is doing now you all advising him to cheat and keep his marriage will also advise them to get side-cocks.

Some are married to one-minute men.
Some are married to me men with micro-penis
Some men have low sex drive hope you all advise that he gets side chicks and will also advise those women to get side-cocks. Side cocks are everywhere now hope to know. Or you will tell them to suffer in the marriage or advise them to divorce when they could just have sex on the side and keep their marriages the same way you are advising this poster

kkins25:
Just like I said before, the only thing Naija man hato offer in Life is money. Take money from the average Nigerian man and watch him turn to a walking dead.

Very terrible problem.

Before you divorce her let me ask you , are you “sexually attractive “? Are you in peak physical shape, or you have massive pot belly? Most couples forget to do the things that once attracted them to each other when they got married.
It could be that she still loves you but is not feeling sexually attracted to you at the moment.

Leilami:
■ She is not denying him sex! They have sex enough for a human being. She is just not giving in to his high demand for sex for 5times a week and 20-25 times a month with a duration of 2 hours. Some of these men lack tolerance and are extremely selfish. They think marriage is about having everything. They don't want to compromise. A woman may tick all their boxes or have 9 qualities out of 10 qualities they seek but it is that one she does averagely though not perfectly that they will nag about. I am sure he is not even perfect and she has areas she is managing him too-areas that are extremely important to her as well. Imagine poster not being able to adjust and have sex twice a week? na wa. He says he wants to divorce his wife because of his high libido when it is his wife who is supposed to divorce him.

All the more reason why that woman should have abandoned this marriage a long time ago. How can a woman do that which is uncomfortable to her person and possibly bad for her mental and physical health in the name of keeping her marriage? No be brain damage be that?

Please don't do it, sex shouldn't be a yardstick for a lasting marriage, you can hardly come by ladies with these attributes of your wife, you may regret this decision you are about to make, if it's about sex I will recommend you have a side chick that will fill that gap. Let's face reality, having a side chick isn't a crime, they are there to fill a gap like this.