Again what is the purpose of the list? Is it to pay off the parents? What exactly I keep asking no satisfactory answer yet.

Young man meets young woman, they like each other, they want to build a home and a family, why do we need to buy things for different age groups?

If my mother wants to meet with her age group can she not fund her own meeting? Must the young man be the one to fund it?

Will my husband not buy gifts for my parents through out our marriage? Why do they need to collect it upfront? Should it not be out of free will?

Back to question 1? What benefit does this tradition serve? Does marriage end after the traditional? Is it to show he can provide for the girl? So what if he provides all the list and cant provide after the marriage?

As my people would say " In lawship is a lifetime"

freecocoa:
You know this bride price and list thingy doesn't just stop at the girl's family, it extends to the kinmen, the young girls and women of the bride's village, so stopping it won't be an easy thing, you need to see how these group of people threaten to make sure the marriage ceremony doesn't hold if their demands are not met, no be small thing o.

In a country like ours where many people are not educated, abolishing the bride price tradition fit lead to war but impossible is nothing, so maybe someday we'll get there .

My family will settle my kinsmen and other groups from our own purse, this is my plan.

Hehehe you would know all about unruly kinsmen. No be you be dat fine [size=18pt]IGBO[/size] girl dat time?

babygirlfl:


I and many women will be happy if it was as simple as that. You need to remember that it goes beyond the girls immediate family. The extended family are all involved. We have started doing something. I believe that with time, it will stop.



I totally understand what you mean by hypocisy but bride price should not mean the woman is no longer an equal. Also remember that unless a man is marrying from a very poor and/or greedy family, the brideprice is nothing near the cost of hosting the traditional marriage which is usually hosted by the brides family.

That last statement is absolutely false in eastern nigeria.
Everything is on the guys head.

crackhaus:

Oh wait, that might be too hard - is there an ethnic group in Nigeria that prohibits families from daylight-robbing their potential sons-in-law in the name of marriage?

Feminists do your job and stop littering the internet with your diatribe, without actually doing anything to support your movement in the real world. Young women are still being sold to the most attractive pockets, and y'all choose to stay on the internet spitting nonsense.

Yep, the Yorubas. Sorta.


You are a fool. We are too busy trying to abolish 'marital r*ape'. We already speak against bride price anyway, I don't understand why you are unnecessarily worked up.

BananaBender:


How typical, after highlighting your bullsh1t, you decided to irrationally accuse me of being emotional. Not surprised.

The post I quoted made mention of bride price, not list. Again, point to one feminist that supports the bride price tradition.

During my aunt's wedding, my parent's paid for the list. For most Yorubas, the list includes: yams, honey, salt, fish, drinks, The Bible, an engagement ring.

This list is often agreed upon ahead of time, meaning the groom's family has to agree to the list. Each of these items has its own significant symbolism which serves as the spring board for prayers during the ceremony.

The list is not the same thing as bride price. And if demanded, we both pay for it, no stress.

Okay you are Yoruba, we thank God.
But madam instead of fighting with me, why don't you feminists all get together and FOR ONCE do something useful other than talk, like actually FORMING A MOVEMENT against premarital extortion?

Name it "I am not for sale" or something like that. This is the only way you people can be taken serious in naija, otherwise you would just be pissing on rocks.

2buff:


Hehehe you would know all about unruly kinsmen. No be you be dat fine [size=18pt]IGBO[/size] girl dat time?

, you no well.

2buff:


That last statement is absolutely false in eastern nigeria.
Everything is on the guys head.

I am talking about where I come from. I don't know what happens in other places.

2buff:


That last statement is absolutely false in eastern nigeria.
Everything is on the guys head.

Big fat white lie, only if the girl's family is so poor they can't afford it and he decides to help out, haba na!

BananaBender:

Yep, the Yorubas. Sorta.


You are a fool. We are too busy trying to abolish 'marital r*ape'. We already speak against bride price anyway, I don't understand why you are unnecessarily worked up.

What a genius - you just called me a fool for no reason and I'm the one being unnecessarily worked up? Are you confused?

You must be ovulating - either that or my post speaks directly to your pseudo-feministic and phoney persona.

BTW you kept repeating 'WE', who and what is a 'WE'?
What's the name of your organization, and what have you done about daylight-extortion?

freecocoa:

Btw OP, which one be say the parents of a girl should be happy someone is finally coming to marry their daughter? Are you doing them a favor or what?

my dear sincerely speaking....
Nowadays it s hard to see a man that is ready to settle down
with a woman at home irrespective the economy that s so harsh on us...

that s the reason why some women re looking for husband more than the way men re seaching for a wife..

however,for some men, not that they cant pay for the bride price,
but because they dont want to be eating one soup everyday..
Some men see marriage as a cage or prison...
So wheneva someone is ready to take a woman to the altar or pay for her bride price...
My dear like you said,dont you think it s a big favour to the family and to the bride alone?
am not condemning bride price as a tradition but i think they should always notice or
consider people's situation before they charge them at high price list...

crackhaus:

What a genius - you just called me a fool for no reason and I'm the one being unnecessarily worked up? Are you confused?

You must be ovulating - either that or my post speaks directly to your pseudo-feministic and phoney persona.

BTW you kept repeating 'WE', who and what is a 'WE'?
What's the name of your organization, and what have you done about daylight-extortion?

I honestly cant believe she said "We". What the devil is she on about?. The only place she and her ilk got a voice is on NL. Is she delusional or soin?

crackhaus:

What a genius - you just called me a fool for no reason and I'm the one being unnecessarily worked up? Are you confused?



BTW you kept repeating 'WE', who and what is 'WE'?
What's the name of your organization?

I called you a fool for no reason??

"Feminists do your job and stop littering the internet with your diatribe, without actually doing anything to support your movement in the real world. Young women are still being sold to the most attractive pockets, and y'all choose to stay on the internet spitting nonsense."

Nigga, you are a fool for insulting feminists for no reason. If you weren't such a fool, you wouldn't dismiss the influence/power of the internet.



"You must be ovulating - either that or my post speaks directly to your pseudo-feministic and phoney persona."

Another reason why you're a fool. Let your 'mouth' take over from your a*ss, you're spewing too much trash.

"We" as in feminists, fool.
What we have been able to achieve, the Domestic Violence Law of Lagos State (2007), Gender Based Violation Law of Ekiti State (2011).

Some organizations are Network for Pan-Afri** solida****, CAI*

2buff:


Okay you are Yoruba, we thank God.
But madam instead of fighting with me, why don't you feminists all get together and FOR ONCE do something useful other than talk, like actually FORMING A MOVEMENT against premarital extortion?

Name it "I am not for sale" or something like that. This is the only way you people can be taken serious in naija, otherwise you would just be pissing on rocks.

Lets help them - #I am not for sale

All self acclaimed NL feminists should start sharing it on their social media accounts so they can be taken seriously.

Talon05:

I honestly cant believe she said "We". What the devil is she on about?. The only place she and her ilk got a voice is on NL. Is she delusional or soin?

Wait, is this the nigga I whooped his a*ss and dragged for filth a few weeks back??!

Bwhahahahahaha, no wonder you're pissed

LMAO! You need to leave your cave dumb-fvck, there is a whole new world waiting for you outside that hole.

2buff:


Okay you are Yoruba, we thank God.
But madam instead of fighting with me, why don't you feminists all get together and FOR ONCE do something useful other than talk, like actually FORMING A MOVEMENT against premarital extortion?

Name it "I am not for sale" or something like that. This is the only way you people can be taken serious in naija, otherwise you would just be pissing on rocks.

I know, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has thought about campaigns like this. It's just that most "people" (org) are concerned about the child that cannot eat or the child that needs education. We only hope that educating the upcoming generation will help eradicate some of these 'barbaric' culture.

There are not a lot of feminists in Nigeria, at all. Tell me why you think this is the right time.

BananaBender:


Wait, is this the nigga I whooped his a*ss and dragged for filth a few weeks back??!

Bwhahahahahaha, no wonder you're pissed

LMAO! You need to leave your cave dumb-fvck, there is a whole new world waiting for you outside that hole.

Wait you whooped my a*ss?, b1tch I whooped every member of your family's a*ss.

You're lucky i'm in a good mood today. I wont drag shii with u, dissing me will help you get likes and that cheap NL popularity you so crave so go on, amuse us. This is the last you will hear from me. Bye.

BananaBender:


I know, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that has thought about campaigns like this. It's just that most "people" (org) are concerned about the child that cannot eat or the child that needs education. We only hope that educating the upcoming generation will help eradicate some of these 'barbaric' culture.

There are not a lot of feminists in Nigeria, at all. Tell me why you think this is the right time.

Better now than never.
I think like that other bloke said, starting a viral, hashtag thingy would likely start to spread an awareness and then y'all can go from there.
Bottom-line, this is something only the women can do.

BananaBender:

I called you a fool for no reason??

Nigga, you are a fool for insulting feminists for no reason. If you weren't such a fool, you wouldn't dismiss the influence/power of the internet.

Now who's getting unnecessarily worked up?

It's fine though, I understand your aggression - you're a sex-starved, recently heart-broken b1tch with fingers that type faster than her brain.

And whoever dismissed the power of the internet? So you didn't realize I was referring to NL pseudo-feminists like yourself?
What a waste!

Another reason why you're a fool. Let your 'mouth' take over from your a*ss, you're spewing too much trash.

At least you know my mouth doesn't spew trash - you on the other hand seem to spill sh1t from both ends, with the smelliest sh1t oozing from that vocal orifice you call a mouth.

"We" as in feminists, fool.
What we have been able to achieve, the Domestic Violence Law of Lagos State (2007), Gender Based Violation Law of Ekiti State (2011).

Some organizations are Network for Pan-Afri** solida****, CAI*

Didn't I say it, you're a pseudo-feminist and a phoney. You're so desperate you went online to Google this for me?

I asked, what is your organization and what has it done about daylight-extortion in the name of bride price/lists?

Do you even belong to one feminist organization?
Name it and tell me what it has done.

babygirlfl:

I and many women will be happy if it was as simple as that. You need to remember that it goes beyond the girls immediate family. The extended family are all involved. We have started doing something. I believe that with time, it will stop.

babygirl, put your foot down & tell your parents and the extended family you are not having it. if the extended family wants yams & underwear, your parents should sort them - it's got nothing to do with your suitor. he's marrying you, not the extended family that probably didn't contribute one penny to your education or child development.

I totally understand what you mean by hypocisy but bride price should not mean the woman is no longer an equal. Also remember that unless a man is marrying from a very poor and/or greedy family, the brideprice is nothing near the cost of hosting the traditional marriage which is usually hosted by the brides family.

you need to see the list in some eastern states. laptops, blackberry & apple phones prominently feature on some lists - and its expected to be paid by the groom to show he's capable.

why are the fraudulent naija feminists not doing anything to stop this? you will even find out that village women(umuadas) are more vociferous when it comes to that list. so when a hubby acts like he owns his wife, i think he's justified. if i pay premium to buy a car, i can use it as i please. domestic violence will reduce in nigeria if the tradition of bride price is abolished completely.

Talon05:

I honestly cant believe she said "We". What the devil is she on about?. The only place she and her ilk got a voice is on NL. Is she delusional or soin?

She is delusional and suffers the psychological side-effects from the gender reassignment surgery she recently had.

The 1inch d1ck they gave her can't even stand erect when excited.

Talon05:

Wait you whooped my a*ss?, b1tch I whooped every member of your family's a*ss.

You're lucky i'm in a good mood today. I wont drag shii with u, dissing me will help you get likes and that cheap NL popularity you so crave so go on, amuse us. This is the last you will hear from me. Bye.

Bwhahahahahaha, that's why u ran to the mods?? Nigga, we can do this again if you like. You remain my b1tch to toy with as I pls

I'm lucky?? LML!

'Popularity??' Bwhahahahaha, that's that a*nal sex messing with your head again.

2buff:


Better now than never.
I think like that other bloke said, starting a viral, hashtag thingy would likely start to spread an awareness and then y'all can go from there.
Bottom-line, this is something only the women can do.

Nope, why would you disregard every male feminist?? We are kicking against a 'barbaric' tradition here. Do you think it's the bride that demand the bride price??

You seem passionate, why not co-start it?

BananaBender:


Nope, why would you disregard every male feminist?? We are kicking against a 'barbaric' tradition here. Do you think it's the bride that demand the bride price??

You seem passionate, why not co-start it?

Very good point.

crackhaus:

Now who's getting unnecessarily worked up?

It's fine though, I understand your aggression - you're a sex-starved, recently heart-broken b1tch with fingers that type faster than her brain.

And whoever dismissed the power of the internet? So you didn't realize I was referring to NL pseudo-feminists like yourself?
What a waste!


At least you know my mouth doesn't spew trash - you on the other hand seem to spill sh1t from both ends, with the smelliest sh1t oozing from that vocal orifice you call a mouth.


Didn't I say it, you're a pseudo-feminist and a phoney. You're so desperate you went online to Google this for me?

I asked, what is your organization and what has it done about daylight-extortion in the name of bride price/lists?

Do you even belong to one feminist organization?
Name it and tell me what it has done.

Were you not the one who claimed that women have been allowed to do whatever they want in the West since the 1840s?

Were you not the one who said that anger and aggression are not emotions?

Were you not the one who claimed that in Nigeria the law does not discriminate against women?

crackhaus:

She is delusional and suffers from the psychological side-effects of the gender reassignment surgery she recently performed.

The 1inch d1ck they gave her can't even stand erect when excited.

LMFAOOOOOOOOO brotha be nice. Lets just pray for her.

BananaBender:


Nope, why would you disregard every male feminist?? We are kicking against a 'barbaric' tradition here. Do you think it's the bride that demand the bride price??

You seem passionate, why not co-start it?

No but HER family does.
Who else can affect her family if not her?
Women go through that process thinking their voice can't be heard. Is it fear?

When it matters, y'all fail to open your mouths.
It is when everything has transpired that you will then want to start to talk.
Why was the woman silent before the exchange? Why did she not prove there and then to be a true partner? And she expects things to then be equal after?

If I start the movement, what will it then be called? #YouAreNotForSale ? At all. It is something that has to be personalized by females.
Only women can own it.

See feminist trying to push the one thing they should be doing in naija back to a man to do again. Do you see now why I have absolutely no regard/respect for so-called nigerian feminists?

crackhaus:

What a genius - you just called me a fool for no reason and I'm the one being unnecessarily worked up? Are you confused?

You must be ovulating - either that or my post speaks directly to your pseudo-feministic and phoney persona.

BTW you kept repeating 'WE', who and what is a 'WE'?
What's the name of your organization, and what have you done about daylight-extortion?

Choi....

crackhaus:

Now who's getting unnecessarily worked up?

It's fine though, I understand your aggression - you're a sex-starved, recently heart-broken b1tch with fingers that type faster than her brain.

And whoever dismissed the power of the internet? So you didn't realize I was referring to NL pseudo-feminists like yourself?
What a waste!


At least you know my mouth doesn't spew trash - you on the other hand seem to spill sh1t from both ends, with the smelliest sh1t oozing from that vocal orifice you call a mouth.


Didn't I say it, you're a pseudo-feminist and a phoney. You're so desperate you went online to Google this for me?

I asked, what is your organization and what has it done about daylight-extortion in the name of bride price/lists?

Do you even belong to one feminist organization?
Name it and tell me what it has done.

crackhaus:

[s]Now who's getting unnecessarily worked up?
It's fine though, I understand your aggression - you're a sex-starved, recently heart-broken b1tch with fingers that type faster than her brain.
At least you know my mouth doesn't spew trash - you on the other hand seem to spill sh1t from both ends, with the smelliest sh1t oozing from that vocal orifice you call a mouth.[/s]

Trash!

And whoever dismissed the power of the internet? So you didn't realize I was referring to NL pseudo-feminists like yourself?
What a waste!

Don't back-track now. No amount of damage control can erase the rubbish you wrote.

Didn't I say it, you're a pseudo-feminist and a phoney. You're so desperate you went online to Google this for me?

If you weren't so foolish, you would have known that those organizations are not even popular enough. Try "Googling" feminist groups and see if any of those names pop up.

I asked, what is your organization and what has it done about daylight-extortion in the name of bride price/lists?
Do you even belong to one feminist organization?
Name it and tell me what it has done.

I donate regularly to NOW and I'm a member of CAI*

CAI* focuses on the education of female children usually in elementary and high school level. Started two yrs back and we're going strong.

CAI* is not a feminist group but it's mission tallies with mine, hence a strong member.

I don't know what you mean by feminist groups but I belong to organizations that are tailored to helping women. You don't have to be a feminist to participate in majority.

As for a lot of the underground "feminist groups" Bride price is not a concern of a lot of them, it's not practiced in their society.

For Sango sake, look at my signature. I always promote the empowerment of women.

babygirlfl:


I am talking about where I come from. I don't know what happens in other places.

am not doubting what yu said about bride price being taking care by the family or extended family...because in indian or ghana ,i heard they bear their mother's name as their surname becos they re
the one paying or taking care of their groom's list or price...
So my dear... Re yu ghana or where re you from?

2buff:


No but HER family does.
Who else can affect her family if not her?
Women go through that process thinking their voice can't be heard. Is it fear?

When it matters, y'all fail to open your mouths.
It is when everything has transpired that you will then want to start to talk.
Why was the woman silent before the exchange? Why did she not prove there and then to be a true partner? And she expects things to then be equal after?

If I start the movement, what will it then be called? #YouAreNotForSale ? At all. It is something that has to be personalized by females.
Only women can own it.

See feminist trying to push the one thing they should be doing in naija back to a man to do again. Do you see now why I have absolutely no regard/respect for so-called nigerian feminists?

Do your parents have female children?

Then your family also demands bride price.

What I'm trying to say is, it can't be personalized if every family is guilty. Even women are guilty.

I demand that my voice is heard, I don't know what you're talking about.

Again 2buff, you are yet to tell me a feminist that allowed her parents accept bride price. I don't know of any, what you're talking about is very strange to me.

I can't imagine my parents collecting money from anybody. What does my father want to do with some small boy's money?

Pls! It could be called 'Our Girls Are Not For Sale'.

I am not pushing it to you, my GOD! I even said co-start. I just don't see how we can achieve this if we focus on only one gender. I don't understand how that is suppose to work. If the men of the family still accept and demand bride price, then what have we achieved, For it to work, both genders have to accept the cultural change.

I don't live in NIgeria but this is something I will definitely look into. And when I start, I'll post pictures. My passion lies with young female children from low-income families who are denied education.

Even my signature says it all. I tire.