Flytefalls:
I can understand if you want to tolerate him until you are absolutely certain he is cheating. However, I cannot understand how you would admit you are unhappy yet willing to overlook and excuse his cheating because "men cheat". Yes, give him time to change if you wish, but is there any indication he even wants to change? Why should you tolerate what you did not vow to do upon marriage?

I think you need to know it is not true that all men cheat. Some men cheat. Yes most men are tempted, but that goes for women too. Forever is the longest amount of time to ask an individual to stay faithful to one person for; it's never easy. But a true tradegy is when a person waits forever to be loved by one person who is loving elsewhere and never looks back.

baybiemee:
I understand what u r going thru. U both need to talk, it helps a lot. Tell him how you are hurting. Please don't quarrel with him because u won't achieve anything. Tell him u love him so much. Just keep treating him as he won't even expect, be nice to him, believe me he will do a u- turn.

DailyNews:
take it or leave it sister, all sexually active men cheat!! And same, all financially buoyant married men cheat! Once a man tastes that forbidden fruit, he will keep exploring more forbidden fruits cos the one he has tasted will become sour in his tongue and he wants to taste new ones.

A married man can only remain faithful if he has no money, struggling financially and lack the opportunity due to certain factors, aside that, all married men cheat!! If u like, keep arguing it. The best u ladies can do is to also start cheating so we can have a peaceful world, simple!!

happywife:


I have never believed in divorce.
and that will not make me happy either

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.
Darling your husband seems to have extra cash in his pocket all the time, money make men cheat! They have enough to hang out, pay for hotels, take care of their new babes etc. Now he is able to do all that cos you have a good job and probably shoulder half of your family responsibilities, believe me if he were broke (I don't mean unemployed oh) and thinking of saving up money for children's school fees and rent and insurance, he won't have money left for extravagances.
Now solution... Change your kids schools, take them to a better and more expensive school, tell him their old school is now crap and it's a good investment to their future, be all nice and sweet while talking about this . Then, where do you live? A rented house? You need to get a land and start building, tell him how real estate is the new rave and a good investment too, look for a land and get him see the need to have his own house, by the time he starts building every kobo will go into it, be supportive too, show interest and always hang by him. If you already have a house, build more for rent and as an investment.
Again it may be hard but show him love, forgive him in your heart, be an active member in your church and get him to become one too, if you don't have a nanny please get one, hang out with him and those his friends and slowly get him to hang with you, be a buddy. Don't report him anymore to anyone, don't claim to be too tired to go to parties and clubs please go with him, listen to gospel teachings it will ease your pain.
DO NOT CHEAT BACK! It is your body, you won't like to desecrate yourself just cos he is doing so, you will feel worse. And it won't solve anything at all.
Stop cutting cost, get those things your family lack, don't wait anymore, get him to spend his money, start projects and don't stop... And moreover pray for him to change, don't underestimate the power of prayer and money

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

yeyenatu:
Free the guy! Flirting andd cheating are two different things. Condoms missing from your home? hotel reservation? And then what?

You no go siddon jeje for wia dem put u ba? @op.

I used to be like that. And then I realized the kind of person he is. So inetaed of getting all crazy, I mellowed and allowed him play. He'd settle down soon enough.

I know it can be hurtful, but don't love him less. Trust me! That biiitch out there?! She is gonna get dropped soon.


[i]YYN

remsonik:
All of you giving her advice to stay and tolerate him, hmm one day monkey go enter market e no go return.

Madam you better sit his a.ss down and let him know the dangers he wants to bring upon not just him self but you and the kids. That was how my aunty's husband infected her with HIV. He has repented now but the deed has been done.

If you cant tolerate his cheating ways why not get separated but I wont support you should cheat on him under his roof.

What am I even saying sef, Association of nairaland upright/righteous/chauvinistic/oppressive men don give you advice so you can keep praying,checking the condom stash everyday or use your head.

caesaraba:


All generalizations are false; including this one.

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

lacord5:


Darling your husband seems to have extra cash in his pocket all the time, money make men cheat! They have enough to hang out, pay for hotels, take care of their new babes etc. Now he is able to do all that cos you have a good job and probably shoulder half of your family responsibilities, believe me if he were broke (I don't mean unemployed oh) and thinking of saving up money for children's school fees and rent and insurance, he won't have money left for extravagances.
Now solution... Change your kids schools, take them to a better and more expensive school, tell him their old school is now crap and it's a good investment to their future, be all nice and sweet while talking about this . Then, where do you live? A rented house? You need to get a land and start building, tell him how real estate is the new rave and a good investment too, look for a land and get him see the need to have his own house, by the time he starts building every kobo will go into it, be supportive too, show interest and always hang by him. If you already have a house, build more for rent and as an investment.
Again it may be hard but show him love, forgive him in your heart, be an active member in your church and get him to become one too, if you don't have a nanny please get one, hang out with him and those his friends and slowly get him to hang with you, be a buddy. Don't report him anymore to anyone, don't claim to be too tired to go to parties and clubs please go with him, listen to gospel teachings it will ease your pain.
DO NOT CHEAT BACK! It is your body, you won't like to desecrate yourself just cos he is doing so, you will feel worse. And it won't solve anything at all.
Stop cutting cost, get those things your family lack, don't wait anymore, get him to spend his money, start projects and don't stop... And moreover pray for him to change, don't underestimate the power of prayer and money

fuzzywuzzy:
Am starting to doubt this story myself....what I still don't understand is why anyone would get up to concoct this type of thing.

evegran:
Op confront him peacefully. Tell him you feel very bad about his actions, pour your heart out peacefully. And see his reactions, if he apologises and promises not to do it again. You should try and forgive him. If he denies it and acts nonchalant towards your cries, start deciding if it's worth it again( I mean, being his wife). Deciding if it's worth it depends on if you even have kids with him or not.

If confronting him peacefully doesn't work, you might wanna confront him aggressively. Some men only hear when you show them you're angry.
Your reaction should depend on your husbands s response and after a careful measurement of the things that make your marriage worth it.

Sorry you're experiencing this.

happywife:
Thanks 4 all d info advice guys i ve decided since my husband has adopted d married but living single life i will do same. 2 can play this game.may d best man/woman win .


m out.

DailyNews:
lol, the problem married women have is single ladies and the problem is: every married woman was once a single lady, get that Cheating is inherent in every man, they only need more money to become full blown cheats

bennyrazz:
I find this your story too big to swallow. You noticed missing condoms from your condom stash?? and it wasn't used by hubby on you it was used on his mistress. Really its funny cuz hubby thought you were not counting?? why can't hubby buy condoms outside? why would he have to take from your stash? could he have brought another woman into your house while you were away?? so many questions begging for answers. Supposing your story is true, you should have where to report him to. The major issue with marriage these days is money & cheating partner.

evegran:




Seriously? Says who? You can't be so sure for anyone. How can you advise her to keep calm and play the fool. Some men would feel guilty and change, but majority would think the woman is a big glad fool and continue. I doubt you'd do same if it were your husband cheating.

happywife:
I need advice on how to cope with a cheating husband.

I have always suspected that my husband was cheating on me but confirmed it recently when i found some condoms were missing from our home n his bank statement showed payment for a hotel when i was away on a short trip .when i confronted him his stories ranged from his friend took it to i was mistaken in my counting n to i went to the room but changed my mind n left without doing anything. but his behaviour showed he was sorry for about 2 weeks then back to normal. problem now is i cant bring myself to trust him n my love for him is reducing daily.when he comes home late from work or doesn't take my calls all i can think about is that he is with another woman. To be honest it's killing me slowly cos i find myself calling him n quarrelling with him constantly.

I dont think i can leave him cos he cheated on me cos lets face it most men do i just need advice on how to cope with my emotions cos i m soo unhappy n its affecting every area of my life . Sometimes i feel like paying him in his own coin but i m a one man kind of babe.

I just want to concentrate on my kids now but how do i cope with being suspicious all d time n being jealous n bitter n a whole lot of emotions thats killing me.

baybiemee:


Just as u said some will feel guilty. What if her husband is one of those that will feel guilty? Isn't it worth a try?
Well, the OP sounds as if he is irredeemable, so what am I even saying?

jennykadry:
90% of nigerian women are stewpid

jennykadry:
90% of nigerian women are stewpid

nairaman66:


She asked for help on how to control the situation.. Not your bashing!