rokiatu:
Well you see my dear, her own brother told her that, and even I did because am not a friend that sugar coat thing. A man that really love you will make an love your family or atleast make an effort. and she didn't like it at all. She is so madly in love with him, that is why when all is said and done imma let her read everything here.


Sometimes total strangers says the truth.

So far I love all the advice that have be given. Everyone has a point. But she will ultimately make her own decision.

Yeah, she really loves him from what i can infer, although she doesn't love him as much as I love you..

rokiatu:
Please note this is not about me but someone very close. I need only serious advice please, if you have nothing better to say keep off.

There's someone very very dear to me that this is happening this to right now. And the lady in question is so confuse as to what step to take. This is how the story goes,her mother was having a family dinner and invite both she and her husband but the husband refused to go. Keep in mind that the husband don't love her mother at all. She have tried everything for him to love her mom to no avail. So this time she decided to take a step just to teach him a little lesson. After the family dinner, she decided to pack some of her clothes and take her two little girls and went over to her mom. She explained everything to her mother, and the mother didn't call her son in law either because of anger, so her elder brother decided to call him and talk to him about the whole situation. But he already decided he's never stepping to his mother in law house, never! And the wife may as well stay there because he ain't going for her, and he's not apologizing to the mother either, he don't like her and he's never putting foot to her house.



To cut long story short, the lady is now in a dilemma. To go back or not? He disrespected the family so now the decision is on her shoulders to make. They want nothing to do with it. She loves him, and they have two little kids together. The marriage is barely four years. They were high school sweethearts in Africa, the lady worked her butt off to bring him over, and now that he's settled and got all his papers he's acting like this. Her world is like crushing down.

Which bring me to the question, if you were the lady in question, what would you do?

when will it ever be about you and not those close to you


you come to NL spread stories about those close to you without their consent and permission , tomorrow you don't want people spreading stories about you.


You are violating rule 8 and 10


Quote me and the thunder wey wan fire you dey drink paraga

kandiikane:
I personally won't have any man disrespect my mother, no matter how much in love I am. If you cannot get along with my mother then you cannot be in my life...Just saying but since she is married with kids she has to think about the situation carefully.

This was going to be my post

Babe, I didn't understand everything you wrote, it was like I was reading greek!!!

Rhozabeth:
Babe, I didn't understand everything you wrote, it was like I was reading greek!!!

buh a haha a a a try again.

GET DATA BUNDLES AT CHEAP AND AFFORDABLE RATE ON ALL NETWORKS MTN 300GB FOR 3000, AIRTEL 250GB FOR 3000 GLO 300GB FOR 3000 AND ETISALAT 300GB FOR 3000 THEY ALL WORK ON ANY DEVICE BOTH PHONES AND PC CALL 07062471665 NOW TO GET YOURS[color=#990000][/color]

rokiatu:
Please note this is not about me but someone very close. I need only serious advice please, if you have nothing better to say keep off.

There's someone very very dear to me that this is happening this to right now. And the lady in question is so confuse as to what step to take. This is how the story goes,her mother was having a family dinner and invite both she and her husband but the husband refused to go. Keep in mind that the husband don't love her mother at all. She have tried everything for him to love her mom to no avail. So this time she decided to take a step just to teach him a little lesson. After the family dinner, she decided to pack some of her clothes and take her two little girls and went over to her mom. She explained everything to her mother, and the mother didn't call her son in law either because of anger, so her elder brother decided to call him and talk to him about the whole situation. But he already decided he's never stepping to his mother in law house, never! And the wife may as well stay there because he ain't going for her, and he's not apologizing to the mother either, he don't like her and he's never putting foot to her house.



To cut long story short, the lady is now in a dilemma. To go back or not? He disrespected the family so now the decision is on her shoulders to make. They want nothing to do with it. She loves him, and they have two little kids together. The marriage is barely four years. They were high school sweethearts in Africa, the lady worked her butt off to bring him over, and now that he's settled and got all his papers he's acting like this. Her world is like crushing down.

Which bring me to the question, if you were the lady in question, what would you do?

For me the lady made a mistake going with her kids and making it seem as a bait to bring the husband to their place. She should go back home, she is married to a man not her mum. There are building a home. She should respect her husband opinion on the issue while using subtle and non too obvious ways to bring the husband and her mum close.

This kind of a man can loose everything for what he believe in. He need a change in his believe system

Hmmmm

Advice her to go back to her lawful house,she is married now and shouldn't allow anything issue to come in between her marriage,with time she will talk her husband or her mummy to settle issue btwn them..goodluck!

i will never take the Lady back again,she should go and marry her mother,all these nonsense about helping him to come abroad is bullshit,i think the Family or the Motherinlaw Show no respect for the husband that is why he is reacting like that,Enough is Enough,the man should fight for his Kids and Forget immediately the woman.

woman pack your things n go back to your husband less you are ready to marry your mum .

let your mum reconcile with her son Inlaw herself , your kids will suffer the most if u remain there .

your marriage comes first b4 anything your mum want to destroy ur happy home .

Ur friend should go back to her husband's house, for the sake of her children and, she should learn to respect her husband's orders her mother is important but marriage is for two people dat love n understand each other

asiwaju:
i will never take the Lady back again,she should go and marry her mother,all these nonsense about helping him to come abroad is bullshit,i think the Family or the Motherinlaw Show no respect for the husband that is why he is reacting like that,Enough is Enough,the man should fight for his Kids and Forget immediately the woman.

you must be his brother from another mother.

Ochek:
All those answers above are so on point.
You have got to remember, that once a man and woman are married, they leave their parents are stick together - for better or worse. Right?
She has not got any case of infidelity or him not caring for his primary home (wife and kids). Yeah? Trust me, if your gal friend don't move in back with him ASAP, she should be ready to accept the bigger shocker.
I have seen this sh**t alot of times happen.
Like it or not, she owes him a 100% obligation to submissivenss. His is to love and so far, save the current issue with his mother in law you haven't furnished us with info otherwise.
So, Roki! If really care about your friend, take we all are saying. Ask her to return to her matrimonial home without delay.

I can't but agree more with you. My dear if she knows what is good for her, she better return home quickly before the thoughts of having a boys comes into his mind. Making peace with people is a decision and can only be encouraged but not forced.

Rose2014:

Did u just type this. So the blame is on the abused woman and her mother D mother should watch her daughter get killed abi? So u can come n read the tragic ending and type RIP

You go fear advice na

I blame the lady for not reading the handwriting on the wall. She should've followed her mom's advise n send his sorry ass back to Africa. She's bn pitying him all along yet he even has the mind to raise his hand on her. Imagine the guts!!

Send his sorry ass back to Africa? SMh! Aren't you frm that same Africa. I keep wondering, what if Marthin Luther didnt fight for the right you are enjoying now? And what makes you so sure his life would fare worse if he comes back to Africa??

U STIL DEY ASK QUESTION FROM UR MAMA HOUSE? NO GO BACK TO UR HUSBAND HOUSE ,WAIT TIL EM FIND SUCUR

Donsolo101:
woman pack your things n go back to your husband less you are ready to marry your mum .

let your mum reconcile with her son Inlaw herself , your kids will suffer the most if u remain there .

your marriage comes first b4 anything your mum want to destroy ur happy home .

Where did u read about happy home biko?
Or u're waiting for her to get killed so u can come n type RIP abi?

lecturerdabo:
I think she can as well marry her Mom!

THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

I WONDER HOW OLD THAT YOUR FRIEND IS? DOES SHE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE?

HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS FIRST ABOVE OTHERS! HER FAMILY = HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HERSELF! ANY OTHER PERSON OUTSIDE THIS CIRCLE IS SIMPLY AN OUTSIDER!

SHE SHOULD LEARN TO HONOR AND RESPECT HER HUSBAND EVEN IF SHE IS THE ONE THAT PAID HIS FLIGHT TICKET TO MARS!

rokiatu:
God you got some great point.

What I will do is later on I will show her this thread and then she will read all the replies for herself.

P.s Seun please put this on the frontpage I really want this lady to get a lot of advice thank you.

Very easy to pick comments alighting with your preconditioned thought..

First you painted the man So badly that people wouldn't but see him as a devil.

Fine..tell her to stay forever in her mom's home since this is what you have in mind based on the comments you have supported so far.

You even went ahead to bring in things not even related to why the husband and MIL aren't in good terms just to put the devil's toga on the man.

Enjoy.

Rose2014:

Sorry I don't mean to bash u sweetheart
I just don't like the fact u don't seem to see anything wrong with domestic abuse.
Everything is wrong with domestic violence. Let the man go out there n wrestle a fellow man. Or will he claim that other men don't drive him crazy out there. Even his female bosses do drive him crazy but he'll rather show his power on d mother of his kids. I find it disgusting to say the least

U can tell me anything else and I'll encourage u to return home but no pity when it comes to violence

Then you were rather too quick to judge or misinterprete me. It's what I kept saying. Don't judge too quickly. Domestic violence isn't right. My point is "How can you make marriage work after abuse? " Solve the issue, deal with the problem and don't just take the easy way out. The fact that y'all don't see a Light in revival of her marriage is what my point is aimed at. That you think her marriage cannot come back to normal makes me sad and you feel her marriage cannot feel happiness makes me feel bad. That's what God can do. Not you, not me, not her Mother. She may have decided to finally leave the marriage and asking advise here may just be create a topic on Nairaland but if you feel Yes!! that's it!! Pack out!! There's no hope for your marriage!! God will be happy you left!! Then good. There is God who can do all things. She can stay at her mother's place as long as she wants but not at the expense of her marriage. Remember: OP said she left because he didn't agree to settle with her Mom.

rokiatu:
decided to take a step just to teach him a little lesson. After the family dinner, she decided to pack some of her clothes and take her two little girls and went over to her mom. She explained everything to her mother, and the mother didn't call her son in law either because of anger, so her elder brother decided to call him and talk to him about the whole situation. But he already decided he's never stepping to his mother in law house, never! And the wife may as well stay there because he ain't going for her, and he's not apologizing to the mother either, he don't like her and he's never putting foot to her house.

That's where the seperation started after the abuse. Which means the she and her husband got on together. This minor issue between the mother and her husband should not be the reason to separate. you can help her divorce you can't help her live after it.

I never see domestic abuse as normal. It never is, and will never be.

The man beats the wife, the mother-in-law called the cops and child protection and the man hates the mother-in-law. The wife and the kids are at the center of a mor0n and the mom.

That man is immature and unstable. The mother did the right thing. The wife holds the key. Love has to be pushed aside. If your man is not coming for you then where is his own love for you ? That's a loveless marriage. If a man does not love the wife and kids enough to visit the mom in law to settle his nonsense, I can only advise that the marriage be ended and someone has to pay for child support, you can even report to police to strip him of his papers, he simply married her for the papers and is probably planning his steps.

Ashonibarenla:


Send his sorry ass back to Africa? SMh! Aren't you frm that same Africa. I keep wondering, what if Marthin Luther didnt fight for the right you are enjoying now? And what makes you so sure his life would fare worse if he comes back to Africa??

I guess U rushed to comment without reading the next few posts where op mentioned her husband beat her abi? Ok na

There is no dilemma here! U are married to ur husband not ur mother whatever issue it is between ur husband and ur mother pray that they find a way to make peace...leaving ur husband's house to move in with ur mom is not acceptable let alone moving with his kids! If ur mama wise she sef go tell u to go back to ur husband! If it were me as the man I will never come for u o mark my words NEVER! Come to think of it marriage should not include 3rd Parties...as long as the man is living up to his husbandly duties at home my dear u are not in order to dump him for ur Mom!

rokiatu:
Please note this is not about me but someone very close. I need only serious advice please, if you have nothing better to say keep off

. Akwa Ibom Commissioner Of Works Kneels Before Gov. Akpabio's Wife (Pic) «
» If This Were Your Husband What Would You Do? «
» 2015 List Of Highest Paid Female Musicians In Nigeria & Their Fee - By Saint Joseph «
» Checkout Beautiful Photos Of Davido And Girlfriend «
» Alaafin Of Oyo And His Wives At University Of London (Photos) «
» What A Shame!! See 2 Policemen Fighting In front Of A Bank (Pics & Video) «
» Hilarious Picture Of Those Days In Primary School «
» State By State - PVC Record Released By INEC «
» What Could Be Going On Between OBJ And Atiku In This Picture? «
» Fashola Mocked On Twitter For Blaming GEJ Over Lekki Robbery With #Fasholajoker «
» He Lost His Job Due To Oil Industry Recession But Got Mouth Watering Job Later «
» See People Staring At Timaya's Givenchy Shoe & Bag At An Airport (Photo) «
» Photos: Do These Chadian Troops Resemble Boko Haram Members? «
» AYC 2015: Nigeria Vs Cote D'ivoire Today At 5:30pm «
» PDP Offered N200B For Tinubu To Accept Interim VP Slot - Obinna Akukwe «
» Wole Soyinka's Daughter Peyi Gives Lecture At Covenant University «
» Nigerian Soldiers Find Bomb Making Factory In Yobe (Photos) «
» Nigerian Army Takes Journalists On North-East Tour «
» How She Experienced 'Hell' At NYSC Camp «
» Four Soldiers Die As Troops Uncover Yobe Bomb Factory «
» Man Dumps Girlfriend Of 11 Years 24 Hours To His Wedding To Another Lady «
» What Are The First Three Words You See In This Picture? «
» Why Does It Take A Long Time To Obtain University Transcript In Nigeria? «
» Breathtaking Places You Never Knew Existed (Photos) «
» Senate Defends Confirmation Of Musiliu Obanikoro As Minister «
» See The Locally-Made Car Allegedly Manufactured By ABU Zaria «
» Photos: Jonathan Presents Cheques & Appointment Letters To Victims Of NIS Tragedy «
» Suggestions For The Balance Funds Expenditure Of The DJDOLA Case «
» Immigration Recruitment Tragedy: Families Of Deceased Get N75m, Employment Letters «
» Tinubu Suffering From Memory Loss, Jonathan Never Offered Him VP Slot – FFK «
» I’m Not Behind Documentary On Jonathan, Patience And Alison-Madueke — Saraki «
» Picture Of How A Girl Sleeps When In Her Boyfriend's House & When At Home «
» LASU Produces Six First Class, 6885 Graduates «
» Checkout This Nigerian Pattern Of "2 Bedroom Flat" (Photo) «
» 10 Funny Answers To Common Nigerian Silly Questions «
» The Pains Of Living In Eliozu, Oroigwe Area Of Port Harcourt (Pics) «
» Ex Oyo Governor's Daughter, Kemi Holds Dad Hostage, Releases Him After 30 Minutes «
» Warning!!! Girls, Never Date Such A Guy (Photo) «
» Osun Workers Unpaid Salaries Dangerous - Security Expert «
» Photo: What Could Be Running In The Mind Of Amaechi's Wife? «
» Jonathan Denies Speaking With King Of Morocco, Orders Full Investigation «
» Jimi Agbaje Visits The Scene Of Yesterday's Robbery Incident In Lekki (Photos) «
» Man Dies While Chasing Mysterious Goat «
» Why Do Women Ask For Favours During/After Sex? «
» Ladies: What Is The Craziest Thing You Have Done For A Guy? «
» Morocco-Nigeria Diplomatic Face-Off, Garba Shehu Blasts Jonathan «
» Causes Of Irregular Menstrual Periods «
» PM News Says Jonathan Has Secretly Ordered EFCC To Investigate Tinubu, Atiku, Amaechi «
» Osinbajo Suit To Stop Alleged Damaging Documentary Adjourned To 27th March «
» Atiku, Northern Leaders Have Withdrawn Supports For Buhari - Fayose «
» Funny Ways Nigerian Students Cheat During An Examination (Pics) «
» Nairalander Was Shot By A Policeman Because Of N100 Bribe «
» 10 Things A Woman Must Never Do To Her Husband «
» NFF Plans Special Ceremony For Vincent Enyeama’s 100th Cap «
» Top 10 Most Expensive SUVs (2015) (Photos) «
» 15 Ways Of Drinking Garri:Which Is Your Favourite? «
» Picture Of El-Rufai, Buhari & Other APC Chieftains Laughing. We Wonder Why «
» See Nollywood Stars Who Are "Prayer Warriors" In Action (Photos) «
» A Nairander's Visit To Elegushi Beach And Idanre Hills In Pictures «
» MASSOB Shuts Down Enugu, Says Jega Must Go! «
» No Gains For Almajiri Schools’ Graduates – Fashola «
» He Was Almost Raped By An "Area Sister" Yesterday «
» Singer Yemi Alade Turns 26 Today «
» She Graduated With A Third Class Degree And Now Wants To Commit Suicide «
» House Of Representatives To Strip President Of Power Over Oil Licences «

Billyonaire:
The man beats the wife, the mother-in-law called the cops and child protection and the man hates the mother-in-law, and the wife and the kids are at the center of a mor0n and the mom.

That man is immature and unstable. The mother did the right thing. The wife holds the key. Love has to be pushed aside. If your man is not coming for you then where is his own love for you ? That's a loveless marriage. If a man does not love the wife and kids enough to visit the mom in law to settle his nonsense, I can only advise that the marriage be ended and someone has to pay for child support, you can even report to police to strip him of his papers, he simply married her for the papers and is probably planning his steps.

Gbam

freshcvv:


Very easy to pick comments alighting with your preconditioned thought..

First you painted the man So badly that people wouldn't but see him as a devil.

Fine..tell her to stay forever in her mom's home since this is what you have in mind based on the comments you have supported so far.

You even went ahead to bring in things not even related to why the husband and MIL aren't in good terms just to put the devil's toga on the man.

Enjoy.

God knows you just said my mind. The cause of the temporary seperation is because of the rift between her friends mother and her husband. That can be solved.

Truth is your friend has just made her husband hate her mother more... He may not be right but she needs to understand that the average man resents overwhelming control over his wife by any other person... This appears to be the case of your friend and her mother... Secondly, she should let them take responsibility for sorting out their issues without her taking sides.,. She messed up big time by moving out... That was childish... I suggest she goes back coz I don't see the guy coming for her not because he doesn't love her but because his ego is involved and it will look like loosing ground to her mother... Lastly please he should never hit her again... That's what started all this in the first place... Get his closest pal to talk to him about that after she moves back in... Good luck...

DinhoMVP:
There is no dilemma here! U are married to ur husband not ur mother whatever issue it is between ur husband and ur mother pray that they find a way to make peace...leaving ur husband's house to move in with ur mom is not acceptable let alone moving with his kids! If ur mama wise she sef go tell u to go back to ur husband! If it were me as the man I will never come for u o mark my words NEVER! Come to think of it marriage should not include 3rd Parties...as long as the man is living up to his husbandly duties at home my dear u are not in order to dump him for ur Mom!

You are single. There is no room for ego in marriage. The man was wrong and is wrong. His behavior is unforgiving and crude. He is uncivilized egomaniac.

[quote author=rokiatu post=31598857]Please note this is not about me but someone very close. I need only serious advice please, if you have nothing better to say keep off.

There's someone very very dear to me that this is happening this to right now. And the lady in question is so confuse as to what step to take. This is how the story goes,her mother was having a family dinner and invite both she and her husband but the husband refused to go. Keep in mind that the husband don't love her mother at all. She have tried everything for him to love her mom to no avail. So this time she decided to take a step just to teach him a little lesson. After the family dinner, she decided to pack some of her clothes and take her two little girls and went over to her mom. She explained everything to her mother, and the mother didn't call her son in law either because of anger, so her elder brother decided to call him and talk to him about the whole situation. But he already decided he's never stepping to his mother in law house, never! And the wife may as well stay there because he ain't going for her, and he's not apologizing to the mother either, he don't like her and he's never putting foot to her house.



To cut long story short, the lady is now in a dilemma. To go back or not? He disrespected the family so now the decision is on her shoulders to make. They want nothing to do with it. She loves him, and they have two little kids together. The marriage is barely four years. They were high school sweethearts in Africa, the lady worked her butt off to bring him over, and now that he's settled and got all his papers he's acting like this. Her world is like crushing.

He is a beginner. No marriage succeeds in which any of the parents in law are so un-tactical and brazenly despised and humiliated. He should mend the issues
as soon possible for the sake of the kids and his wife whom he really has no case against. If he goes back to the marriage without sorting out the issues, his life will be in great danger.

I dont see any issue here. The guy has the right to associate with whomever he likes. That he is married to your daughter does not automatically means he will like you or want to frantanize with his MIL. I will blame the wife for putting herself in this ugly situation. Though I understand the need to try and unite her mom and huby. But for f-sake he is an adult who has his own choices to make. The lady should go back to her husband or else there is bigger issue other than this

nwaanambra1:


THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!

I WONDER HOW OLD THAT YOUR FRIEND IS? DOES SHE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF MARRIAGE?

HER IMMEDIATE FAMILY IS FIRST ABOVE OTHERS! HER FAMILY = HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN AND HERSELF! ANY OTHER PERSON OUTSIDE THIS CIRCLE IS SIMPLY AN OUTSIDER!

SHE SHOULD LEARN TO HONOR AND RESPECT HER HUSBAND EVEN IF SHE IS THE ONE THAT PAID HIS FLIGHT TICKET TO MARS!

Even if he kills her
E be like say RIP dey sweet una to type for this nairaland. Smh