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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? (19767 Views)
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Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:03am On Mar 19, 2015 |
crackhaus: And if they are not able to tolerate each other what happens? You insist she must stay 6 months? You are thinking in a one track way. Is it wise that the first solution would be to send the mom away? If my mother comes and causes problem between my husband and I or between her and my husband,I will tell her it is time to go back to my dad.infact my dad will be angry with her for causing me trouble in my marriage.She has a home where she is more comfortable and can do as she pleases,my husband is the King of our house and I am the queen. Did you read me talk about the advise I gave my mom when she visited? Every man should tell their mom the same things,they need it more His mom and my mom are strangers in our house and none of them can cause us beef there Do you get me now? . 7 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:11am On Mar 19, 2015 |
njokusboy: Shame wetin? How old are you? Your mom still tells you what to do, what to eat and what to wear. that makes you what? a little boy still s.ucking her b.reasts. You aint prepared for marriage. You aint ready to be a Head. you still got some growing to do. 8 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:12am On Mar 19, 2015 |
The mother doesn't approve of the wife for whatever reason. The husband usually sends money to his family before marriage but reduced the amount he sends to his family after marriage. The DIL gave birth to all girls. His family has no boundaries. MIL is of the opinion that her son owns the house, so she is free to do whatever she wants. DIL doesn't believe in addressing her husband's younger siblings as uncles and aunties. DIL/MIL found out that the other has been speaking negatively about her. 5 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:13am On Mar 19, 2015 |
crackhaus: SO YOU ARE A WUSSY STILL S.UCKING YOUR MOTHER'S B.REASTS Unbelievable!! I call wussies you sef raise hand quick quick. Ndo! 6 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:16am On Mar 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: Many women actually go into marriage with that mindset... I have seen a few, infact I have seen a lot... I have seen women wish to marry a man whose mother has passed away... Look around you, you know what I am talking about.. Why don't you turn it around, what about the man telling his wife to bear with his mother and the mother to take it easy on the wife.. t That would have been a more balanced advice, my problem with your prescription is that you placed the blame on the feet of the MIL alone, you refused to admit that sometimes the problem arises because the wife is being too sensitive... Secondly, you think the man should just kick his mother out of his house even though he doesn't see the source of the problem in most cases.... Most men won't do that and it's not because he's scared of any sibling or army of siblings, it's because nature has made it so, no man can kick his mom out of his house and comfortably sleep at night, infact, I'd question the sanity of any man who does such.... Matter of fact, your solution, creates more problems than it solves.. 1 Like |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:19am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: I actually find this funny... you are a better off as a stand up comedienne than as a debater |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:19am On Mar 19, 2015 |
njokusboy: I hate repeating myself I don't know what else to say You win Happy? Good 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:21am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Now we can see another problem with men involved. They do absolutely nothing when a rift occurs. Going by the comments here, the wife is to bear whatever her MIL dishes out even though the MIL is wrong. even though she interferes in their marriage. she is to bear all. But i wonder what their comments would be if a father in law or brother in law interferes in the way they handle their affairs at home or question how they provide for their family. 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:21am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Shollypopzz: Some MILs will even get mad to see their DIL tying assorted George wrappers and wearing laces Husbands that helped with chores around the house will stop doing it so their mom won't be upset Things like that. They see their son helping in the house and rain abuses on their DIL for turning their son into a maid Shouldn't such a woman return to her home? 11 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:22am On Mar 19, 2015 |
njokusboy: If you say so. Little boy! |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by 190theclown: 1:24am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Flytefalls was here |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:25am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:27am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Didn't you see the thread where a father in law to be demanded to see what the son in law does for a living and how much he makes to determine if he can provide for their daughter and all men called him a meddling FIL. It is a slap on their manhood for an FIL to make such demands But not a slap to my womanhood for his mother to tell me how to run my household 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:28am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Shollypopzz: You can see that from all these issues mentioned, if the man doesnt do anything about it, the rift will escalate. these are what make the issue of MIL-DIL relationships complicated. |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by crackhaus: 1:32am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:Quit trying Sophy, I had you figured out a long while ago on NL. This here is the only way you know how to throw insults, by repeating the same shiit over and over and over...it's pathetic. At least be witty and give me something worthwhile to chew on so we can do the banter. Unfortunately you are only as bright as a lab mouse, this compliment is still an insult on the intelligence of the innocent mouse. 1 Like |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:32am On Mar 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: You see am now. I remember that thread and how all the males were breathing fire and brimestone, tearing their boxers over the issue. No man will ever allow his father in law or brother in law run his family for him. Now i wonder why heaven must fall if a woman wants to do the same. This is how men help in increasing the rift o. They suddenly become inactive yet they are heads. SMH. 7 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:35am On Mar 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: You watch too much home videos 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by 190theclown: 1:36am On Mar 19, 2015 |
shollypopz |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:38am On Mar 19, 2015 |
crackhaus: Back and forth epistles with you because i aint got better people to converse with? Mbanu! Im not as childish as you are to trade words to score likes or awards of who can insult best. Seun doesnt pay any of us for that. This issue isnt worth tearing your boxers over. You dnt know how to converse with women without being emotional. I CALLED WUSSIES BUT YOU ANSWERED. is it my fault? Nope. Look for someone else to trade words with biko. Anybody expecting merry go round discussions with me will be soooooo disappointed. 5 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by crackhaus: 1:39am On Mar 19, 2015 |
babyosisi:That kind of thinking in bold is exactly why problems will arise. 1 Like |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:45am On Mar 19, 2015 |
babyosisi: You are so right. I also take time to go through their post history. I didnt do that today and ended up talking with a 16 year old boy in this Nl. #Sigh# I looked at his pic and saw that he was a kid. i had to slap myself. 1 Like |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:46am On Mar 19, 2015 |
190theclown: Hey, "class clown", how have you been? |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by crackhaus: 1:51am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks:Lmao... biitch are you taking the high-road now and telling us that you don't throw insults or do back and forth? I say it again that you are so dense, because for you to confidently try to pass yourself off as one who's all good and clean only means that you either think everyone else on NL is stvpid or you are very much deluded and totally devoid of intellect. The latter is more likely. Are you a woman? Lmao. . . Wonders! I enjoy being childish BTW, that jab carries no weight...weak as fvck. 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:53am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Flytefalls: Thanks dear. The comments you have read so far exposes what exactly fuel the rifts between MIL and Wives. Its a pity that such rifts will continue. 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 1:54am On Mar 19, 2015 |
crackhaus: Hahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahaha. 3 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 2:30am On Mar 19, 2015 |
[size=18pt]An MIL taking it upon herself to tell her DIL how to cook,clean,care for her children and husband and how to run her home is equivalent to an FIL constantly on his son in law's case for not providing enough for his household.How many men will tolerate that in their homes for one week let alone 6 months?[[/size] But you want your wife to tolerate an mil out of line for 6 months? Are you are 11 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 2:36am On Mar 19, 2015 |
njokusboy: Everything you watch there happens and worse One girl already recounted on the other thread how her mil poured soup on her and flogged her You sound like someone that won't even utter a word if your mom did something similar except perhaps to ask the wife why she provoked mama up to that extent Mchtwwww 5 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Odunharry(m): 2:42am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Ewuro4:lol.. funny but true.. women are truly their own enemy... very rare to see a son in law and father in law quarreling |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 2:45am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Hahahahaha Been there Whenever you are on a circuitous argument stop and do that 2 Likes |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Odunharry(m): 2:58am On Mar 19, 2015 |
cococandy:nice 1 Like |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 6:44am On Mar 19, 2015 |
Sophyrocks: Gbam!!! It is all about boundaries, although I would not place the sole responsibility of boundaries on men alone. |
Re: What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? by Nobody: 9:21am On Mar 19, 2015 |
naijababe: True. Like it was mentioned earlier, women need to know their boundaries and stick to them. Yes, we women get wahala. The men ought to know this. 'Wife stay your lane, mother in law stay your lane'. If you are very observant, the MIL always assumes some sort of power/influence over her child and his wife together. why? because 1) she carried her child for 9 months. thats always the excuse supported by men themselves. 2) because the man is the head and so that automatically gives MIL 'unwritten' rights over your home. Therefore, you as the wife is expected to do a lot of tolerating. Thats the nigerian belief. Its what runs in the subconcious of MILs. She always wanna exert that power because she forgets her child is now married to a woman from a different family and this is where the role of the man comes in. How a man handles it is very important. A DIL is always observed with a 'microscope' in africa because she is seen as the one holding the home and making the marriage work. Therefore, any movement or decision of hers is scrutinized. thus, crossing boundary is very easy. Our beliefs in africa help to fuel the rifts. So the man has a huuuuuuuge role to play here. 3 Likes |
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