ronald4lif:


I'm afraid but you've to tell the new guy off. That's the logical and moral thing to do.

kpolli:


Why is the other guy visiting your family already? You're already planning to cheat or dump your boyfriend

MzzTega:

Still wondering why my story is k legged 2 you.
And the later part of your post,i don't understand.

MzzTega:
Okay! I don't know what title to give this . But seriously, I'm confused. Came back home from school for the election and i remembered I got a birthday gift from a friend and i'm yet to show them to my parents,so after today's morning devotion i brought it out and they where like Wow!! This is beautiful.(got the gift from a guy who is interested in me) I got a boyfriend tho and they all know. But they where giving me reason why they prefer the other guy to my boyfriend .
It was crazy tho cos my siblings where there and the look on their faces was something else. My siblings like my boyfriend tho. During the Xmas break,my boyfriend came home to see me, after he left my father told me in the presence of my siblings that he does not like him,i asked him why,he gave no reason. He likes the other guy,and when that one visits he jokes with him and his friends. It's hurts. And this is my first relationship. My dad does not know how to hide his feelings,and i know that sooner or later my boyfriend will know what's up.
Has anyone been through this before
To the guys; How will you feel when you get know your girlfriend's parent don't like you?

vjsmiles:
yho dad has joined the gold digging community..

MzzTega:

I have. The thing is my parent.
What do you think will happen if my bf finds out they don't like him

MzzTega:

The guy is MY friend oooooo. chaiii!!!
Why are you guys finding it hard to understand my post.

baralatie:

it is a story!
I don't know how an affair that is not leading to marriage anytime soon from either is painted by you as "being acceptable to parents".even the mention of church sounds fictitious.
and already one can see a lot of things exploding!
I have no problem with people making plans but at least set priorities straight.

MzzTega:

Both of them are igbo.
My boyfriend is in his finals,aint working.
The other guy is a student and his working.
My boyfriend attends same church as me but a different branch.
The other guy attends AoG.
The other guy buys me stuffs.
The device I'm using he bought it.
This guy is working so the money is there.

ronald4lif:


What else do one expect of him? He'll be devasted, it will weigh him down and should be a hard one for him to deal. But it should be a test of his love to you. He should work out on the modalities of creating a postive impression in the heart of your father. He rapport well with your brothers right?

MzzTega:

Thanks bro. you've really answered the question.

MzzTega:

It seems you are more confused.
Re read my post and read the question at the end

kpolli:


Because a guy interested in you (as you specified) is not a friend.... If your boyfriend had girls who wanted him visiting, how would you feel?

I don't know why you girls like keeping guys who want you as friends, you just introduce complications into your present relationship and when you (as you girls claim) "mistakenly" cheat... You will be wondering where it went wrong...

Like I said, you either plan on cheating or plan on dumping your present boyfriend because if you had any respect for him, you won't be associating yourself with "friends" interested in you nor taking them home

UniqueGem:
Okay babe, I'll be brief and blunt here, I think you've gat a gold digging family. With what you've written so far and your dads refusal to say why he dislikes your Bf but prefers the other guy, the only silent interpretation I see is "Forget this guy, he can't take care of you and our family, this other guy is more financially dependabe" you wouldn't expect your Dad to come plain and tell you something like that, so that's why he's boning that guy.
Now My Advice: I think you're somebody who will at some point give in to family pressure, if not this shouldn't be a case at all. Another observation is that you seem more familiar with the "gift guy" than you've written here, if not, he wouldn't know your house. Okay let's say he came to know your house out of coincidence, but how do we explain coming into your house with his friends and having a hearty chat with your father? The gift guy surely is more welcomed here. So what you should do is since I perceive you'll give in at some point, Just tell your Bf the way things stand. So he can either hang on and hope the gift guy one day disappears or he should move on with life before it's too late. I think the later option is a better one.

MzzTega:

I understand you bro.
Check the other post n replies to AgapeCharis. I told him that my boyfriend does not talk,this kinda quiet type. And the oda guy relates wella and that's one of the thing i think pisses them off. hope you get?

UniqueGem:
But if truly that is the real reason, do you think your Dad will have a problem telling you that? Itz simple psychology here, it's about what somebody find easy to disclose and what somebody find hard to let out. Your Dad or anybody else can easily tell you "hey, this your BF is too quite, he needs to be more outspoken" see?? There's nothing wrong with that statement. NOW, Imagine your Dad telling you "Hey Tega, your BF is poor, Mr Gift is rich, leave your Bf and marry MR Gift because he is more capable of taking care of Me, you, your mother and your sisters". It doesn't sound right and moreover it will hurt his prestige as a man, so that's why he's quite about his reasons. You take out time and ask him this privately.

MzzTega:

Now read carefully.
This guy and my boyfriend have been my friends since ages. My friends! My boyfriend made his intention knwn and i accepted him and all my male friends knw including this particular guy. They get me stuffs. but since the other guy started showing interest,it ended there. What i want is for the question i asked to be answered and not this unnecessary sermon. hope you get?

kpolli:


Lemme be as blunt as NL will allow me to be... When you accept a relationship with an individual, you need to give him some respect and if you have male friends that do not show that respect, cut them off...

Please explain the bolded statement, what ended there?

You want a direct answer, but as a Nigerian I will answer you with a question; who is in the relationship you or your dad? You're the one who knows best for yourself... You know which shoes fit.... Did your father start liking the other guy because of the gift? If so, then know it is because of material things your father said so, if not; he should explain further.....

poik:
Maybe I am just being my old-fashioned self.
But you mean your parents condone your boifriends coming to your house to frolick with you, a tEenager who ought to be buried in her books without the distraction of a boy? Apart from the fact that its sinful? What kind of parents has Westernization made of us?
That's one.


Two, you are 'commited' to one person, yet you go as far as collecting gifts from another-we don't even know how many they are-and comparing the two? Your eye no dey house.
Different macaroni for different folks o, but there are things my own parents won't hear of.
My advice: be virtuous. Marry or face ur books.

MzzTega:

It seems so.....the gifts.
And one thing i noticed again. My boyfriend does not talk. I guess it pisses them off.

kelvin100:


Here lies the problem.
Your boyfriend hasn't opened up to your parents enough for them to know him, they are simply weary of him.
They are more comfortable with who they already knew and could be a likeable character too.

Tell your boyfriend to communicate, feel free around your parents and really open up to them. He might still be uncomfortable because of the age difference.

MzzTega:

Both of them are igbo.
My boyfriend is in his finals,aint working.
The other guy is a student and his working.
My boyfriend attends same church as me but a different branch.
The other guy attends AoG.
The other guy buys me stuffs.
The device I'm using he bought it.
This guy is working so the money is there.

Mhizizzy:


So u AV started collecting stuffz from d oda Guy
Making decisions wud be hard ryt now

MzzTega:

You don't understand my post. I actually asked a question
Btw I'm not a teenager.

kpolli:


Because a guy interested in you (as you specified) is not a friend.... If your boyfriend had girls who wanted him visiting, how would you feel?

I don't know why you girls like keeping guys who want you as friends, you just introduce complications into your present relationship and when you (as you girls claim) "mistakenly" cheat... You will be wondering where it went wrong...

Like I said, you either plan on cheating or plan on dumping your present boyfriend because if you had any respect for him, you won't be associating yourself with "friends" interested in you nor taking them home

falconey:
will be back to comment.



you said this is your 1st relationship you must be between 18- 22.

I say play along you still have time,is not like you are geting married or something.

MzzTega:

hmmmmmm. You are sooo sweet!!!
Same thing an Aunt told me earlier today.
Thanks.

jimmy4x:

You are sooo happy now cos he told you what u wanna hear, so what are you planning on doing now??
is ur bf also shy nd quiet around you, his friends and family??
do u think he can be very friendly around ur folks later on??
how does he relate with your siblings??